Video: “I Have No Friends”

This video deserves the least amount of words. This 1/4 century year old known as Girl in a Blue Dress is not that far away from where yours truly is based. The video was recorded after the Dartmouth school year of 2022. She also mentions “Hampton” in this clip. Yesterday, this video accelerated as YouTubers Aba and Preach (who often critiques the “red pill”) threw a lot of opinions that wasn’t necessary.

I made my own comments. I feel so bad, though I can relate but I have my own struggles

 

The State of Affairs for Autism and Relationships

There is a bunch of problems going forward for the next five to ten years for autistics and the “leadership” thereof about relationships and building friends, etc., etc.

To go into further detail of that statement; we face problems such as trying to fit every possible individual into one unified group instead of unifying 1 and 88 people with autistic or pervasive developmental disorders; secondly the research and assessment (or diagnoses) often compares us to the normal functioning peer groups; which is also an unfair and inaccurate portrayal to the autistic community.

There are a bunch of people who go around the world to speak about autism, to lecture about the subject or even speak badly (even with it being unintentional.) This problem is also a multi pronged issue too. One is the lack of editorial judgement when delivering these messages to the public; secondly the medium is the message; especially in the world of the Web and social media; and how the people take these messages. I’ve said in the past that for a long time people in the Millenial generation (born from 1977 to 2001) were the most intolerant generation of people with developmental disabilities; however that number is slowly going down – but not a lot. The problem here, is those numbers are becoming tolerant because of a career path they have chosen, not really because they want to be tolerant from the heart.

And the last point is what becomes the most dangerous part for ANYONE with autism; the message, or the medium may mislead these future professionals of the special needs industry; there is still some mixed messages that all autistics are mute and dumb, and often they are lost little bastards; and often its boys; because its only boys who are bad; and its only boys who are into science and math; and again guys are socially retarded; and that all autistics shall not have a life like everyone else because of their alleged social dysfunction; and they really should be friends with their neurological peers; and shall not even have the chance of getting married and having offspring that might reproduce another autistic.

The entire boldface was the subliminal or innuendo messaging of what is taught in college, or in professional development (bitter people training.) There is a lot of psychobabble about “social pyramid”, “social capital”, “social this” or “social that”. And many of this BULLSHIT has anything to do with social skills!

So in closing, the state of affairs for autism and relationships are bleak and will have a dark future. Not because “progressives” want to make a movement for change and acceptance; its really for people who want to be career mothers or career slanderers to make blaintely false and misleading statements that all autistics are bad, all autistics should be sent to Laconia or a state that still has a state school for developmentally disabled people. And yet we have to settle with the fact of “they are being honest” and “they are telling the God honest truth” but yet if I make a “God honest truth” I’d be charged for hate speech even if there isn’t a  hate speech law in my state.
The only option is to settle with the “facts” with the hopes these people will die to hell sooner rather than later.

Birthday

My birthday is near and in the coming weeks I will be 26 years of age. It will be the 5 year mark where I had turned 21 and finished school on the same day. It is very scary to think how in half a decade how I have fallen apart and came to a hard realization about how I have to accept my differences, and accept my future outlooks in life. (I think you know its really about “relationships”.)
I don’t talk like I used to because I am tired of talking to slight egomaniacs. I am tired of hearing someone’s “honest” or someone pushing an agenda on me. I might be venting a little about my mother, but that’s really besides my point.
I am asking for much this year, nor do I really give a shit about it ether. As I wrote in last October, about my struggles of people remembering my birthday; I’ve just accepted the fact “its just another day”. That happened last year, I went on a trip to the mountains after doing some shopping at the state’s surplus agency getting networking gear. I brushed off the the 25th anniversary of my existence.
I am not happy about the big two-six. And this isn’t just the normal PDD obsession leading to one’s bday.  It’s actually worse.
I realize I won’t be happy. Its not because I choose not to, its because I am forced to not be happy. The leadership on the ASD self-interest has effectively slandered my group, and has effectively committed uncriminal behavior like psychological ID theft. These goddamned sons of bitches have forced me to grow up faster than my peers (since it is “normal” to still act like an adolescent at 35 years old, if you don’t have a disability) and yet these same sons – of  – bitches treat people like me as crap when they aren’t “on the clock”. These people insist we work for some corporation and be highly accountable at all times.
These freckin bastards also believe we should only fall in love in our own peer group. I’m talking about the PDD group. As you already know (I assume) the numbers of PDD male to female ratio is about 4 out of 5 male to female. I probably would say 3 out of 5 are females, since I see more of them in the adult services than I have seen in the special education. But still, I am put at a disadvantage.
My only wishes for my birthday is:

  1. Please, I ask the middle age women, who are ugly, bitter and hateful people  who act exactly the same as I just described: to stop acting as advocates for special needs! I also understand you might have an empty nest syndrome, but just stop saying for one example that autistic people can’t fall in love. DO NOT slander these people in private workshops BY CLEARLY saying its “not appropriate ” for us to attend when I feel you will painting EVERYONE with PDD with the most thickest brush to exist! Especially when WE STRUGGLE (in some cases for unneeded purposes) with RELATIONSHIPS and recklessly plan such workshop on mother fuckin’ VALENTINE’S DAY! It is your peers that have made me so mad and sad and not glad that the only life I can have is to be a fucking slave!I stand by my “fucking” beliefs, because you force me to use such needed coarse language! 
  2. I want people to LISTEN. Especially WOMEN! I don’t give a shit you have a cunt and tits, to me its sexist for me to expect me to listen to you and its fine for you not to listen to me and go off and talk, talk and talk and push your egomaniac agenda. If you want to be treated like everyone else, you have to not label yourself and act like everyone else, and sadly in this case men. (I hate using gender/age specific language, but it is these overeducated punks from Harvard, and other Middlesex County, Mass like regions around the world that unnecessarily done this reversed sexism!)
  3. As narrow-minded and possibly sexist and racist as it is, I would love to have a woman to be my romantic mate. (I can’t say “girlfriend” without being charged for “hate speech” because you can’t say a “girl” to a “woman”.) Therefore, I would like to have an adult female companion  I should just say, look into a slow relationship. For all I could know, having a romantic relationship may not work at all, and I could’ve wasted 10 years for nothing!
  4. The “experts” need to get their head out of their asses. I can’t say this enough. I also ask for paraprofessionals, professionals, teachers and other cold-hearted people between the hours of 9:00 to 5:00 local time to maybe learn that autistic people are just like you, and instead of not having friends in your outside life that are autistic, to maybe give it a chance? I’m not talking about HS aged people or current professional relationships, but have some freckin unity as we desperately need in my country! I only wished I could be integrated with “normal” Latinos, Blacks, Asians and other people of various backgrounds, and not be forced into a group I find is regressive and a group that won’t rightfully go forward according to my social, political and systemic standards.

I’ve realized I have done some bitching, but many punks in my life have no idea what they have done to me, and how its ok to not be accountable of their actions, their words and their actions. It is men with a certain social standard who have wrongfully been abused and used!
I do not hate women! And I mean that. I respect them! They are very caring people, and they have great talents! Younger ladies is rare, thirtysomethings you have better luck I only have a problem when they go on a political or systemic tirade against one social class for no realistic reason in the general population, and get away with it. Sadly, many are near or post menopausal and they generically look ugly, because they act as if they are fat and ugly.  I hate to be so biased, but since ASD and PDD individuals are mostly male, I feel so personally offended to be an adult male because we have to treat women as God.
I only ask to be somewhat happy for my Birthday. But apparently in America that is asking for too much according to all the experts I have to comply since America is now a “1984” society.
P.S. there is one other thing I would want for my birthday. To have more traffic on this blog and more discussions from my readers, because if it weren’t for you (if you even read my blogs) this blog wouldn’t exist.
End of my political/personal rant.

Autistic People Can’t…

…fall in love
…have intimate relationships
…have any “normal” friends, only their nerological peers
…publish web logs, because typically they write things that aren’t approprite for the public packet-waves
…can’t leave comments on blogs, only failover  to clicking on the “like” button
…have cyber friends
…can’t use dating sites
…can’t meet new people only if they have friends that know new people
..can’t use social networking webstites
…can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t* do anything other than be corporate whores!
(*sorry I guess my Betacam tape got “jammed” inside the deck)
If you found this page and you are trying to get answers, well here is a very direct response.
AUTISTIC PEOPLE CAN’T BE SOCIAL WITHOUT COMING OFF AS RETARDED!
AUTISTICS CAN’T TOUCH A GIRL WITHOUT SIGNING UP FOR A LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER!
AUTISTICS CAN’T REPRODUCE DUE TO SOME UNWRITTEN FEDERAL RESTRICTION
So to answer the question again, Autistics CANNOT FALL IN LOVE OR HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS!

Catfish

Has anyone seen the TV series Catfish on MTV?
I channel surfed the other night can ran into that program
The show is like a documentary following people who met others online (i.e. a online relationship.) The host meets with the skeptical party member, and goes to search for the other individual, to see if the other end the person is a total fake. The host of the program will start off by looking the profile on the respective website whether its Facebook, MySpace, etc. and if there seems to be a fakeness on the profile, the producers start to look them up elsewheres.
This program meets with the crossroads of To Catch a Predator when they go to meet or ambush the person of interest. Some of these cases were the partner lied about their identity, their location, their looks, in some cases they were cheating with another person.
The last episode I seen had a guy meeting a girl online. This girl, named Melissa who appeared online, billed herself as a pretty blond “Barbie Girl” (in her words) with blond hair and blue eyes, as the skeptical partner found out she was a curvy, brunette with brown eyes and all the other attributes turned out to be opposite. Near the end of the program, the two try to come to terms.
In other episodes, its a teardripper because of the sudden reality that their online relationship was a fluke.
Has anyone else watched this program? I’m going to watch some of these OnDemand, if its on there. Its an interesting program.

Christmas

I’ve lost my love for Christmas.
I’ve lost it not for reasons like loosing beliefs on various parts of the holiday, its the troubles of understanding the real meaning because of the collapse of my world of relationships.
Let’s start with the family aspect. My family has collapsed under my watch since my younger days, and the days where I was living in a very narrow world. At a young age, I’ve witnessed my family’s depression, the divorce of my maternal grandparents, and my other parts of my family causing “drama” to the most severest degree. I do not want to go into further details, to protect my family’s innocence, and to not dare I say exploit them, and to keep my identity private, if I give more hints.
Regardless, as we have closed that chapter of our lives, it’s still bothersome.
Friends. Now Christmas time isn’t all about family, (although if I was a real practicing Christian, I’d assume it would be at least 99% family focused) but it could be about friends. As I mentioned on this blog before, I’ve dealt with over a couple years of having to sort out the remaining social circle from high school that has been dormant in my life since. I will say my social circle has been very small, and was known to be vulnerable due do the size and my emotional, developmental and social dysfunctions. With that being said, having to deal with a constant change of people coming and going out of my life has made it even more tougher. This is a known fact for people with ASD that they can’t stand constant changes in the social world.
I feel very alone, and I feel so disconnected than ever before in my life. Now, as I said earlier, I know I need to change different things in order to be likeable. But I do understand giving how different I am, and a “true friendship” requires common goals, ideals and beliefs. If I can’t meet those points, then I am doomed to failure, which is why I have attempted by the beginning of next year to avoid social contact.
The faith is another component of the frustrations of the understanding of the holiday. I’ve lost faith with god and christ as time went on. As I noticed disasters occurring in various parts of the world, I started to come to a conclusion that God was attempting to terrorize the respected locations. My mother is a “born again Christan” and such beliefs have caused gridlock to agreement. My mother has said that God does not do such things (one example was the first-known earthquake I had experienced in October.) With such disagreement, I’ve kinda kept religion as a taboo subject with my own mother! I feel the devil had created me, and why would god create misfits of such number (if you believe the Centers for Disease Control’s figures of 1 and 88 children) and why is there a higher number for boys? Does god have  something against boys and men? I’m skeptical, I feel like I am under siege, even if not me by-name, but generically being targeted.
The last part is this secular, agnostic, Switzerland nation we are becoming. The War on Christmas has been a haughty issue for quite a while now. I’ve gotten into intellectual arguments about taking away Christ into Christmas, especially in the publicly funded school systems. The States have become an apologist for the minorities, and instead of integrating the Jewish, and now the large growing Hindu religions, we have ether done a zero-tolerance (aka reversed-hate speech) against the Christan population by a) having just a “holiday party” or in some locales, celebrate all other minority holidays and zero-out Christmas entirely. First Grade in 1993, was the only time I had remembered both a Christmas and a Hannakuah party or celebrations. That is what one would call “diversity”.
I’ve learned that “Holiday” isn’t just a Holy Day (as the word derives from) but its a word to sound more sophisticated – ala sounding sexy, because the European movement has sadly gone west to America.  Of course, there has been a lot of outrage for using “Happy Holidays” during Christmas, but I’ve noticed as early as 5 years ago, that this cancer has spread over to the Thanksgiving holiday. I would be asked, “how was your holiday”, instead of “how was your Thanksgiving?”  I’ve find it more offensive using Holiday for a reference for Thanksgiving.
I am not the most religious person around, but it is sad that the minority of a group of hard working people, who would rather work almost every day out of the year, and a bunch of hateful crybabies would take away a TRUE holiday and ruin it for the rest of the population. Say what you want about the summertime, people take time off here and there, but no place totally shuts down like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and in the olden days New Years. Having a whole village shut down for a day, give an illusion that it is a day of rest from the daily routine. Typically I don’t watch much TV such as news (since I could watch it for the other 365 days)  or sports (since pro football has one primetime game that night and hockey takes the holiday and basketball does nothing for me) and typically I’d watch a movie or two. The radio stations play Christmas music all day long with limited commercials during the peak hours, and I’m with the family during the whole day.
I’d be really disappointed if Thanksgiving will be taken away as a true holiday and obviously Christmas as time goes on.
These thoughts is how the crippling self  perceives the slow coming of a crippling holiday

The Roadmap for this Blog

So to refresh some people, I created an organizational chart of how this blog came to be to what is now to what the future is.
This purpose of this blog was to focus on deeper issues about relationships from the eyes of someone with autism. This blog had to be spunoff from my other blog to to that. My other blog has been very popular for people searching for answers like

These results often come on my search metrics every day. And any of those pages that get indexed doesn’t have answers. They are called “Unanswered Questions.”
So this publisher want’s to get really deep on various issues that would needed to be spunoff from the mothership blog. Here is the organizational roadmap of what this blog came to be, and what its future might be.
an image of the roadmap of the two blogs
Originally there was not an end target. The blog was going to just stories of observations of my life of how I saw love, friends, acquaintances, various degrees of relationships and then some.
As this past month went by, I started to loose patience. I am 25 years old, and fell off a cliff right on my 21st birthday. It will also be 5 years since I had a last job! I’ve also realized that my current programs doesn’t have what I need because its not in development yet, but at the same time the current social skills lessons are okie dokie with no issues. I have barely gotten into any romantic relationships, and I will admit I have sorta kissed some girls more than I have ever been kissed by someone outside my family! Never mind I can’t remember the last time I held hands, the last time I hugged a girl/lady, and I have never been able to get into any relationships where I could go all touchy, and into a sexual relationship of some sorts. I don’t want to sound harsh, but you know there aren’t that many single 25+ as time goes by, and you know a girl peaks in her sexual attraction about this time.  Never mind , the social norms of not wearing mini skirts, short shorts and other things after a certain age too.  My own hormones are starting to loose its youth too!
With that said, a new feature called a Countdown appeared after realizing the last 2 years of what my realistic future will become. Read The Tell All, and  it explains what I went through. Realizing that I really don’t have much of a future, by the beginning of next year, I am abstaining from any socialization, after 5 years of making it a priority.  This component will merge into The Forgotten Autistic as other issues will merge to the 12-31-12 deadline of giving up hope for any futures other than to work ones ass off.
So that’s how this blog became and will become.