Category Archives: An Alleged/Forgotten Autistic (2011-2013)

Archived stories from An Alleged/The Forgotten Autistic from January 2011 to November 2012

Love, Hunger or Lust or All of the Above

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No memory of the original posting likely late 2011/mid 2012, metadata got corrupt most likely – it predated A Puzzling View on Relationships.

Note: This post may contain some explicit references. Reader Discretion is Advised.
As someone who has experienced zero romantic relationships, and just a billion crushes, it is extremely difficult for being single, not able to date people or be sexually active. Not that being sexually active is right to begin with. However, there are times my hormones go through the roof (and of course, being someone with an autistic disorder, I have to control myself or become a Level 3 Sex Offender.) Part of it is  because I haven’t felt the physical form of love. I used to hug people in the recent past, but since my social circle has shrunk it hasn’t happened. I’ve only kissed a few girls outside of the lips, and I never had any forms of sexual encounters or anywhere near that. Nor was I ever sexually abused, it may be best that I  add that in there.
I see “normal”/”nerotypical” or “typical” or someone that doesn’t have a disability can get away with social norms, but for someone like this writer, its frowned upon.  You see this same thing on Facebook, a sexually attractive lady getting attention on a comment of her default image of what would could be considered as sexist statements. I should say reversed sexist comments. If I made a similar comment, I would be a Level Three Sex Offender, but a “nerotypical” (“normal”) person would get away of it. Why is that?
I really wished I could hit on a girl successfully. I don’t. Often I just failover to just be quiet. I often don’t know how to flirt. Lately, I have an influx of testosterone so I often want to flirt in a sexual nature. Often I am just too chicken to really go that far. The other day, I went to a store and the cashier was a pretty sexually attractive lady with cleavage showing with a cute pushup bra and camisole with her bust very aligned. I just got silent, my voice just got too scratchy or way too soft and it goes that way when my sex hormones goes out of wack. That girl or lady had a sexy figure, borderline “slender” about 5 foot 6, and well she was blond (and typically I don’t dig for blonds) but she was pretty hot regardless.
While I get sometimes horny and just sexually crazy, I have to say I never had any sexual encounter. Whether you like it or not, or agree or disagree with the morals of ether underage sex, unwedded births or non marriage sex; people do “do it” and some don’t “do it”. And many people my age have done it, and these are privileged people with college degrees with a higher social class and are probably conservative types, but yet they aren’t religious. Kinda illogical huh?  Well I am poor, disabled with a disability about 70% of the people of my age bracket don’t care for, or would never want to fuck with or even want to be friends (again referring to the “normal” population.)
I do subscribe to the notion that girls go past their prime at 25 or their mid twenties, and well I hate to sound like a “cold hearted conservative”, but girls do look hot in their early twenties, and their sexual drive is at their peak, and they seem to be hot to get laid, and I again don’t want to offend anyone, but with that being said – I missed out on that. Its every guys (or girls) dream when they are in the junior year or in their college years to loose their virginity and litter the roads with condoms, and stuff like that.
I don’t want to say that I think lust is an appropriate thing to feel, but jeez in my long 25 years of not ether understanding interpersonal relationships or being accepted in society, its really progressing to be an aggravating sensation. I feel like I am one of the few people that unfairly has been missing out on what could be an awesome thing (or not even that ether!)
I don’t know what “love” is outside a family perspective.
Is “love” invisible like you know software or is it physical like hardware?
Is love touchable?
Is love just about feelings?
Is love about common likes?
Is there a such thing as “opposites attract”?
What is it? What is it?

Developing Story: Hurricane Sandy – Wall to Wall Coverage

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If you thought Hurricane Irene was a big scare – think again.
On Tuesday, I started to read headlines about Hurricane Sandy’s potential target of the East Coast.
 
A graphic for Hurricane Sandy
This storm is pretty serious
We are in the late stages of Hurricane season as per to the National Hurricane Center. We also are dealing with a coldfront thats to the north (near Canada) and this storm that is coming from the South, is going to be very interesting. Even the experts and computer models are thrown off guard.
The Full Moon is making this even worse, because of ocean tides. I don’t want to say this is “The Perfect Storm” because that storm exactly 21 years ago on Wednesday, only effected the New England Coast. This storm is going to impact the ENTIRE Northeast!
I was just 4.5 years old when Hurricane Bob hit New England, and “The Perfect Storm” exactly 21 years to the day (it hit on October 31st, 1991.) I vaguely remember Bertha in 1996 and witnessed Irene as a very windy and rainy event. The New York City metro and Tristate area is going to be the direct impact if the storm hits the Jersey Shore. If it hits where the Snooki, J-Wow, and Pauly and the other characters of that neighborhood, the entire Northeast will be severely impacted. I am no weatherman, but Lower Manhattan would be a concern, it’d be safe to say that Upstate New York may get flooding (or if this storm is near that Arctic front, they might get snow), Northern New England for floods and wind.
I probably would have to say, the entire Eastern seaboard would get some big impacts. They are predicting erosion, and if you have a house right on the ocean view, I would be very scared if your house may get eaten by this Sandy monster. They are predicting several foot waves
Expect long term power outages (the longest for me was 4 days between a February 2010 windstorm and last years Snotober event) and just dangerous winds.
As I technically halted this blog, I am only returning to blog on this event, because it scares the hell out of me. I know we aren’t invincible to these storms (or any disasters) and I had a gut feeling that this was going to be serious. I am scared of what is going to happen.The storm isn’t going to hit my area till Monday afternoon, but I fear the mayhem, the stressors, and everything else I should be accustomed to since I have gone through many disasters in the last few years.
Stay tuned, and if you are a follower and you are in the direct impact, please join in to this story.
 

Why I can't Stand Rich People

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I was on a walk recently, and I saw a car drive by. It had on its license plate GATSBY – probably as in The Great Gatsby, a common read for many twentysomething punks. Beneath the car, had an Obama bumper sticker, giving away that this person is a rich Moonbat (or is a rich yuppie wannabee.)
I never read The Great Gatsby, and I think I am not missing anything. The book allegedly takes place in some yuppie area of Long Island turing the Roaring Twenties. I’ve read bits and pieces of other summaries, that the book essentially describes rich people who think from what I interrupted pretty liberal.  And rich too. And the book also describes the Prohibition Era – again goes back to the alcohol thing
What I have a problem is, people who think they are rich, that money buys them happiness, drink and party like its no ones business, and think voting Democrat is going to solve the world problems. I don’t like how people don’t feel the world around them, but they’ll care for someone in a third world country, and they piss money like its no ones business, and then induce themselves with so much alchies they just loose sight about the rest of the world.
I grew up in a town where there were rich anti socially drunk alcoholics, and alcohol really bothers me, I do drink – but once or twice a year. I never liked beer, and I have family members who have drinking issues. I just don’t like these classes of people. And I do know that this book was very popular on peoples Facebook account, back when the “network”  system was in use. I believe it was number 1 in my regional network, so I am not insane and retarded to say that this book has had some impact in society.

Jennifer Capriati!

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I am not the most avid tennis sport fan. I typically watch a little of it with the Wimbledon and then the Labor Day week of the U.S. Open.
So I was watching the ladies finals back a couple weeks ago, and I quickly caught my eye on a shot of Jennifer Capriati who was at the the Open (among other celeberities they kept peeking in from time to time) really popular back in the 90s and most of the last decade. When I saw the face and her name on the chyron bottom of the screen – I was like ooohhhmmmmiiiigaaawwdd! I haven’t seen this chickie in a long time! I had a big crush on her back when I was a teenager, and at that time she was just cute and hot (however you want to look at it.) So I went and used a search engine and I couldn’t believe how she’s still a hottie to this day!

A lovely Image of Jennifer Capriati, a pro tennis player recently from her Twitter account, whom of which was my teenage athlete crush
Apparently she is still somewhat of an active pro tennis player, she started pro at the age of 13 back in like 1989, and competed in a few Olympics matches, and many US Open matches (which was when I got the crush on her.) Then, she got her self into a mess into some drug and substance abuse, most recently another case in 2010. And she must’ve turned her life around, because she’s back at it again. I’ve noticed in recent images she’s got a cross necklace on her, maybe she got a little spiritual perhaps? Regardless of her troubles she is a well good athlete and I like her quote she has on her Twitter account:

mean what [yo]u say,say what [yo]u mean but dont say it meanly.

Extreme Copyright – Why is there Copyright on FOIA issued Documents?

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It’s sad to see yet another child star go down in the dumps. Recently, Amanda Bynes, the teenage hottie on Nickelodeon’s All That, and The Amanda Show, from the late 1990s into the early 2000s, got charged for a hit and run, and another unrelated charge recently as well.
The E! network had posted a PDF of the Freedom of Information Act or FOIA request of her charges. E! has recently upgraded to a new content management system or CMS to gather all their stories, posts and other web pages such as programming to easily manage. This went live just as the network rebranded themselves as “The culture of Pop” (which I think is retarded if you asked me.) This change happened in early August, and Broadcasting & Cable had done a writeup explaining this multi platform website layout was supposed to have copyright protection. I can understand that, but…
Since they posted the PDF of a FOIA issued document, E could not help themselves of putting their huge logo as a watermark on, again, a public record document that is supposed to be copyright exempt.
Here is the document directly from the network’s website.

I have nothing against protecting intellectual property, but when it gets out of control, I do have something against it – especially when it was made by the government of California and not produced by E themselves (maybe feeding it into their copier/scanner but still that can’t be copyrighted due to FOIA protection.

Do I take my life seriously?

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Hell yes.
I need to. No regrets. Just doing what I feel is right.
Because there are “adults” that act like corrupted* teenagers. Someone has to be “the grownup” out of the bunch.
*Corrupted in the sense they should be Convicted Felons and the only real job outside of jail should be at a talk radio station on the AM band at 50k clear channel. At least in my area, thats where Felons get a job after.
I don’t feel ashamed acting like a white collared like person. I am sick and tired of so many laid back people who think there’s nothing wrong in the world. From heads of Port Authorities responsible for killing 3,000+ people to teachers who work with retarded people to help retarded people to “friends” who think that being narcissistic and “all about them” is perfectly fine, and not being fully aware about their friends in trouble to living life as invincible.
Maybe I was raised with ultra high standards. Maybe I wanted to “be different”. Maybe witnessing 9/11 and noticing the political aftermath did something, maybe noticing people that have low standards did something.
My blog might not make sense all the time, but at the end of the day, things interconnect someway or another.
But seriously, I think its time I need to look at my notes of finding appropriate therapists to get help. I think I am overly too psycho

Opinion: Abortion

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I might come off as a scandalous fiscally right-of-center individual with autism, however I might come off as a liberal.

I believe in abortion. Why you ask? Because some people aren’t meant to come into this society. Some people make stupid mistakes by fucking an woman and then regretting it after the fact? I believe life begins after birth and not at conception. Maybe its my autism that might be messing up my viewpoints.

Some people have came to this planet because the mother didn’t have the best relationship with their father, so they are screw around, get knocked up because someone upstairs started a creation based on the girl or woman who was committing a “sin”* Makes no sense. And why should the child exist if 99.999% percent on the factual intent that the father was going to fuck off the mother anyways? Why should it become illegal? It’s probably a lot worse if you adopt, because in some cultures its messes a child’s psyche even more

*I will refrain from discussing this because its religion and it should be a public discussion as per to the social protocols of staying away from controversial subjects.
I don’t want to be depressing people here, but I have been a strong supporter of abortion for many years now. Maybe its because I am not for “women’s rights” but the “child’s rights” – maybe we don’t hear the child’s voice of not wanting to be here. Maybe the child knows that he will destroy a family or wittiness seeing the world around him through his eyes.

The child is not longer an “it” until after birth. So I am all for it. I’ve been meaning to disclose my views for quite a while, and now I found the time and the place to disclose my views.

Question: How would you change lessons on Social Skills?

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I think there needs to be disruption to the special education world. For one there are too many women of a certain age and background. With that said, there is HORRIBLE leadership in this group. If you need a reminder, these people have effectively put scare tactics on my group of people of what I CAN’T DO. Remember, these are the same groups of people who get after the PDD groups on focusing on the negative. And of course, they never stop harping on strict social skills because we have to be 100% accurate and never make 1 mistake.
So with that said, I’m going to ask:

  • How would you change the same ol’, same ol’ practice of teaching the autistic/PDD groups on social skills?
  • Would you include the “normal” groups to act as the “equal opportunity offender”?
  • Would you teach on how to “humanize” the PDD groups, instead of focusing on turning them into goddamned robots?
  • Would you focus on the “grey” issues or attempt to teach “black and white” standards?
  • Is there a “social standard” and if so, why in the hell is there not a “manual” that most autistic people would looovveee to have and read?
  • Would you abolish the “sexual harassment” lessons in the high school age?
  • And would you be willing to treat everyone as different groups of people and not attempt to paint everyone with a broad brush?

I know there is a lot of questions, I am just putting it out there because I am sick and tired of motherly women controlling the special education hackerama and not only screwing up these vulnerable citizens; but not only that to ask Uncle Sam to pick up the tab for unnecessary pain and trauma and leaving the adult services programs to reprogram these people of how the “real world” doesn’t work like how Room 112 was teaching for most of their high school years (and I am including the younger ed classes as well.)