As I had mentioned in the tellall earlier on, I had to go through some massive pain from the last two years. I’m going to simply break this down:
2010: Coming to some belief that my “friends” started to turn their heads against me. I was probably in denial.
Meanwhile I still thought a romantic future was coming sooner than later
2011: Started to see through that these “friends” made me feel like nothing. I was actually enabling their social ignorance by allowing them to be self-absorbed while they never (if barely) reciprocated back with me in social conversations. Again still in the denial/acceptance phase, depending on what day or time of the month I was feeling at that given moment.
Any hopes of a romantic future started to get bleaker and bleaker. I started to let go some of the painful past of anything that was relevant to romance.
2012: Came to the conclusion that those friends weren’t meant to be; and unfortunately another bad thing happened for someone who that can’t get a break out of bad luck. As for romance, the year that I am 25 years of age; and being very inexperienced, there probably aren’t that many people out there that would be willing to date someone who is that, especially when I live in an area where there are so many privileged brats (you know the “daddy’s little girl” types) that they wouldn’t want to date someone who might come off as socially odd.
As we begin the last quarter of 2012, I am already setting up expectations for 2013 (if the Mayan calendar doesn’t expire – gotta put that into equation.) Those expectations are the following:

• Pay attention to the metaphoric screen blinking “Game Over”, i.e. my life is done as I knew it
• Start to look into the idea of working – again!
• Seek some independence
• As lameass as it appears, I am starting to isolate myself from being around in the public. I go to any place, the mall or the beach and I just get so frecking emotional when I see so many people in 4somes or an alleged bf/gf couple touching and kissing and doing other touchy-feeley crap I will never be able to experience. This shouldn’t be construed as “pessimistic” its “realistic” I will admit, that I feel fine when I am not out in large social situations and within a half hour after being isolated, its like nothing happened.
• By detaching myself from the social world, this will test my abilities to be “less emotional” I have been criticized as being “too emotional”. By detaching myself from the “real world”, it will probably continue to build  a “glass wall” between me and the real world so therefore I can be fully autistic, and see things in a third person point-of-view and not get attached to the social world. This will also build up my white collared demeanor and learn to have a heart of a stone, because professionals aren’t supposed to have emotions.
• Continue with electronic ways of doing things without human intervention. This includes purchasing items online, such as eBay, and using self-checkout systems at the local grocery store.

This is the hard truth I have to deal with. Its painful, but hey its the blunt truth. If I had a real father in my life, he probably say half of what I just wrote. He’d probably hit me in the ass to do some of the mentioned. Though, I never lie because if I did, I’d be known as Dan Rather and making BS for CBS News. This is gawd’s honest truth to power. This blog won’t always be sexy, but again life isn’t sexy – its overrated.