My mother has not handled Gram’s death with grace all the time, but what can you expect? Sure it’s going to be a roller coaster, but sadly my mother’s pre-existing, but undiagnosed style of behavior is becoming really apparent in the months that has followed.
The Appearance of a Potentially Deadly Outburst
My mother comes off as short-circuiting, will become extremely emotionally, on the fly basically and earlier this week, I was scared for my life, afraid of becoming a Thanksgiving accident statistic as she was on a road rage of someone allegedly cutting her off, when she was in a mood of a rage of what happened in late summer to her mother. She was stubbornly believing she as in the right as she had the right of way; what really scared me was when she was tailgating, and wasn’t mitigating any potential rear-end collision – no she was so enraged that the other driver didn’t respect her right of way (even when she was in her tunnelvision)
She goes on the highway and literally follows the car, she ordered me to take down the license plate number, and when she decided the car was going towards Nashua, she took the exit past home and tried to instigate reax from the driver as she was staring at them, as if they did something so wrong.
This is the things that no mental health professional in the State of New Hampshire would never say. The level of pro-maternal bias in our media, in our state government, to the sub-agencies of our institutions shows the level of hypocrisy of being so-called “objective” while showing a level of “kompromise” as if part of our institutions is like a true communist state. Meaning they’ll not hold sometimes an emotionally unstable mother accountable for her mental fragility, because the mother had me young, and sacrificed partying and she didn’t kill me to enjoy her normal life.
So because she never killed me or dumped me the way my father did, is the entry level of unconditional respect?
Hell if I had a NH Drivers License, if I had done any of that shit the other night, I’d likely be a target of law enforcement and be charged for the very same thing my allegedly typical mother did.
“What Did I say I was going to do Today?” (In the You Better Remember Undertone)
I am not happy for what I had been subjected to, earlier today my mother was rambling on, and I got into a fog, because my mother lacks self reflection (such as she never followed up on tracking down that person that she felt did wrong; she never apologized for what she did to my safety, but assumes I had forgiven her), she then proceeded to attack me by asking me “what did I say I was going to do today?”… the use of 5-w’s as I have not written about lately has been another corrosive abuse method – to the point I am staying in my bedroom all day until we go out tonight.
Generation X Is Progressively Becoming the Worst Generation of Parents… EVER! (Parents
Emotionally Not With the Kids)
They say that Generation Z’s parents is the smartphone and mobile apps? Yes, that is right, Generation X, the hyper-individualistic, we-were-out-until-the-sunset, hey-remember-the-rotary-phone bullshit, and their abusive tactics of making kids extensions of them, not reflections, really rubbed a vast majority of Gen Z the wrong way, to the point where i think that’s why they are on their phones at all times. What would you do if you’re berated or attacked, or constantly quizzed like you’re a first grader, and you’re in your twenties (for me I am in my late 30s, but whose counting right?)
We at some point have to say: the kids are not OK, I am not OK, I feel so alone even with my mother, and I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE SIMPIN’ for my MOTHER WHO IS A FLAWED PERSON BECAUSE SHE CHOSE TO HAVE AN ABUSIVE TENDICIES.