Ongoing Issues

I am struggling as a hierarchal child, again an adult child that has an expectation to out-do the parents of said child. I don’t think it’s appropriate to use the word “child” alone. Just look at the Murdoch clan, and how all the media writers call Rupert’s offsprings “his children”. People must be a real fool to believe that Lachlan and James are toddlers running News Corp or Fox Corp for that matter. Well that tells you right there that a) the kids;… I mean “children” are extensions of Rupert and are never going to be a reflection of his life.

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Springing into Parental Affection, Validation and Affirmation

Here in the States, Mother’s Day is on the 2nd Sunday in May and Father’s Day is the 3rd Sunday in June. What leads up is the Autism inAwareness Month, while I avoid to sound like a broken record, so called “autism parents” get not just May or June some love, but April in general. I sometimes wonder if this is intentional.

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The Online Exploitation of Autistics by Autism Moms (and sometimes Autism Dads too)

pick me mom

a pick me mom is a mom who uses self depreciation to make her children feel guilty, and pay attention to their mom more.” – Urban Dictionary

autism mom

A mother of an autistic child. Often considers herself a superhero for raising an autistic child, victimizes herself, and expresses negativity or grief about her child’s condition. Likely supports Autism Speaks and the puzzle piece (both offensive to autistic people). Same site, different definition 

How I define an Autism Parent

a self-identified Autism Mom or Autism Dad is an individual whose made their identity on a child whose autistic, while they are not. They use self depreciation to make others feel guilty, make themselves the attention and using said behaviors to make the autistic child feel guilty and instruct therapy by forced-sympathy. They are very use victimization against themselves or others by expressing their negativity often unfiltered and coming off inhumane – From your’s truly 


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Changes to Moi’s Social Security (Interesting Script-Flips)

This post I rarely discuss finances, and without exploiting my finances too. This story is more about changes I didn’t expect and how I have a mother who can’t shut the fuck up once.

This involves the Supplemental Security Income of Social Security, what others around the world would call our Social Security a “pension”, but unlike SSI, you don’t earn as much as Social Security Disability Insurance (or SSDI) this really applies to normal people who worked for 40 straight quarters (or 10 straight years) and suddenly had a life changing disability. For many people on the PDD end of autism, we got screwed at birth, so then it would hang over well into adult years and to your dying grave.

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The Softest Voice Gets Softer

There are many reasons why my voice is what it is. I’m going to leave it at that.
While it maybe notorious or a signature, the unfortunate situation is soft spoken voice is getting more softer, and I suspect it has a lot to do with the situation for the last four years getting worse.

First off, I need we need to start by defining “soft-spoken” a suggestive phrase and not an objective one. Soft spoken people tend to have a higher pitch, sometimes sing-song melody, lips move little, while air from the larynx is coming out. Obviously it’s more common with girls and females.

I go so far to say that soft-spoken people is actually a character difference from typical people. An example was a cute barista at a cafe up in the north country. The girl was even more soft spoken than me of late. I could barely make out the words… though she was kinda cute.

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Life Update (Happy Easter!)

I am hoping my fellow followers across a couple platforms are enjoy this holy day if you celebrate it.

I’ve had a wild March. It came in the middle of the month as a lion and it’s coming out as a lamb. It was the case of when everything could go wrong – went wrong! From redundant servers, to redundant backups, to having an effed up network, to backup wifi dripping the attempted Off Topic Tuesday video at 3 different times in the last week, I couldn’t catch abreak.

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The Frustrations of Living with a Dysfunctional Mother

The fawns from 88 South Road in Londonderry seem to shriek through my ears. My mother’s ego has been baked in as her being the primary caretaker because I am not able to be my own autonomous self.

It’s getting really sad as I get older this old woman just continues to treat me like a perpetual child. From excessive dialog. Having to “just”-ify things, come right upstairs to the kitchen to “investigate” some sound, and this horrible arrogance of taking control of things just to have domination because she’s insecure in other parts of her life. I am not diagnosing her, but I also suspect she’s a Highly Sensitive Person, where there’s constant self-surveillance, which sucks the people around her, who she feels she needs to “protect”

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“White Rural Rage” – An Antidote of “loosing” a Loved Family Member

The other night, I came down to the living room where my mother was watching reruns of a military law enforcement drama, where that plot was an illegal alien was likely going to be deported with his young daughter hugging him in tears. The episode aired in 2018 (the show was on it’s 14th or 16th season) around the time of “the caravan” drama. She thought it was 2020, but that was the year of COVID and there was lots of domestic issues if you remembered.

I feel like I am going to be “loosing” my mother at some point down the road from all this political manipulation and the rising levels of outrage, hate and resentment mixed with nihilism it’s almost as if she’s a lost cause and I may have to turn away from the very person who created me.

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