I’ve come to a realization that I have issues.
I was in denial for many years, most recently the last couple with pure anger and bitterness. 
Now in the recent months, I’ve come to a conclusion that I have autism.
My life is torn apart, my relationships with everyone has been destroyed.
I feel so fucking embarrassed about myself!
Something is defective in my brain! I never had an MRI before, so I don’t how messed up I am! I don’t know how real only I do know I have autism!
I don’t get love of any kinds, thats why this blog was created last summer! and I guess…I am a very litteral person even if I keep denying so. I can’t understand feelings like I used to.
People do say that autistic individuals have a hard time with relationships, and I don’t think I have much future unless I do something, something I don’t know how to approach and tackle!
In some ways I am like an android. A Data. I can’t deny the facts – I am messed up!
Oh how can someone love some autistic and not expect a full 100% love back?
So why should I have friends or a girlfriend, especially the latter? She’ll probably put me to jail as a criminal for being a psycho! Why would anyone fall in love a developmentally retarded individual?
I thought I give and give, and I get people “liking” my stories and never stalk my blog on the blog’s Facebook page. Well my “giving” should be looked at, because some people claim I receive more than I give. Again, I am fucked up in the brain!
I do know for a fact I am ASHAMED with my Autism and NOT PROUD AT ALL! I don’t belong in any place! I am a misfit!
My life ended at 12. My identity was stolen. I was replaced from a human to a robot!
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