Recently I was bullied, defamed, and slandered from #ActuallyAutistic types. Upon researching this topic to see if there was new developments, I found this blog, by an mother whose actually on the spectrum with children on the spectrum. More moderate, but I don’t fully agree, but I certainly agree more than an #ActuallyAutistic…

a video reaction from another video reaction by me within the last few days.

Regardless I did reply about my experiences, but as you know I can’t fit everything into 100 words. I commented on this late last night, to only wake up this morning to see it being rejected.

Go figure.

Hi,

I found your site after searching the web for hashtag-actuallyautistic after being gaslit recently on one of the social platforms. Up until recently, I sometimes would “troll” the #ActuallyAutistic folks just to get them to think differently, only for _them_ be the “troll” by attacking, destroying, gaslight, and call me an “ableist” (or worse an “allistic” which is amusing a/f because I’ve lived with this condition (for better or for worse) since I was born!  They would repeatedly ask me what I have done for autistic people, and I would say things on the down-low, and because it wasn’t public enough for them they would act like vultures eating a dead carcus. I’ve been on social media since the days of MySpace, and given my autistic condition, I can filter out BS and see whose playing with me.

 

I’ll tell you what I have tried to do for all types of autistics (of course for them it’s never enough or I am doing it wrong or some lame reason). I am one of a few higher functioning autistics (with now an antiquated disorder after DSMV), that had involvement in my state’s health and human services agency. I actually had connections with a Commissioner of the agency of which I had great rapport but had left the role (as there was a term limit.) I was on planning committee for an annual family support conference (that unfortunately was really for family members with a disability, of which I think it’s not the best approach to single groups out as everyone needs a resource.)

 

I say all of that because i had be so mindful over the last decade or so because others may assume I was a #ActuallyAutistic stereotype but in reality, I was trying to advocate for people not as fortunate as me to be heard and _not just be_ seen. This put a huge strain on my life, it actually unraveled during the 2016 Autism Awareness Month (oh sorry is supposed to be Autism Acceptance month, lol?) I was only able to advocate for myself, and I was gaslit, minimized, stonewalled, etc. in my little day program.

 

I didn’t know the extent of #ActuallyAutistic and I started searching overnight/this morning if #AA is really just toxic activism, and poor comms (in the public relations/policy stance) and it seems to be the case. And that’s why I am so afraid to be an advocate, because I’ll be seen as an activist.

This group of people I think;  know who they are targeting, they know in some little way they may not always be right, and how they can think they can be on social media despite having apparent low emotional intelligence to completely freak out on a stranger, but if they were to say something defamatory (in my situation) there is no accountability. Not even a shred of remorse, that even an moderate functioning autistic would be able to do. These people seem to be social misfits of the social justice types, and so they have their own world that often is ripping the page from the toxic activism that hurts IDD.

 

Lastly, about me in a nutshell, I was in SPED since I was 3 to my 21st birthday on a Wednesday in March 15 years ago. So I am in my mid 30s, with all the “funding” from adult services, I have really little resources for programs or even staffing. I have had an 5 yr support intensive scale eval, and it scores very high. So a perceived high functioning person needs as much hands as someone in a wheelchair in some situations. I’ve let the highest people know about this and they have really done nothing, and of course, I had to be so careful not to be an activist. Once you cross that line, you’re canceled out from other’s attention.

 

It wasn’t until I found your site, that the Autism diagnosis is actually separated in “levels”. (this tells you how much I’ve given up the cause despite the condition.) I had published a WordPress blog 12 years ago on my life with ASD, doubting my own condition, with lots of hits and views. When i migrated to my own host a year ago and slowly published older content (had to sanitize the 25 year old self’s wild writings), it’s barely broken the web. I guess the Web was much different vs. now I don’t even know what the heck “autism” means from a clinical standpoint in 2023. I wonder if others are feeling the same, even to search engines!

 

I hope I wasn’t too wordy, I try to not be that d-mned keyboard warrior, even though I am a notorious writer (the only gift going forward for me.)

I must’ve been that damned keyboard warrior!