Yesterday was  Father’s Day, where many other families here in the States give gratitude and appreciation to the fathers in their lives. Some people, who have single mothers attempt to get another day of apprecation in the form of discounted Craftsman or Rigid tools that typically are given to the fathers or dads. (I can attest!)
In a serious note, this month is often depressing for me, along with that June is a typical graduation month for high school aged people in New England, other parts do it earlier in the year because they start the school year earlier. On point, I haven’t been around my father since my early existance. He obviously was never my dad, and I do not have any memories of him, nor do I even know what he looks like! My grandfather disappeared in my life when I was in second grade.
Both men were negative figures for my mother. My grandfather was very ingorant, and also very arrogant that he knew what was right. Talk about an oxymoron! He was very narrow minded on which member of my family would be the winner and which would be the looser – while he didn’t use that phrase directly, you know what I mean. He never did anything wrong, and obviously this kinda love didn’t go to well with my mother. He didn’t care about her, maybe didn’t really love her?
My mother was puzzled about relationships too. She was trying to find someone that she felt she could love. She thought my father was going to be it. Well about a year into their relationships – my mother got pregnant, he told her that he didn’t believe it, and made some pretty derogtory comment, that he didn’t believe her, demanding her to prove it…I think you can understand the fact that my mother got screwed by this guy. According to my mother he often said “you’re stupid” “you don’t think”, etc. etc.  I cannot understand how hurtful those statements were addressed, but such “verbal abuse” was the catalyst to seperate my father out of my life and her life as well. This period of time from my own expierence with my own mother is what probably caused the emotional makeup of what my mother is today and what made her a lady.
The kind of behaivor shouldn’t been a news alert. He was the popular guy in high school, he also was the typical Southern NH snotty brat from the mid 80s standards, and he was in  athletic clubs at the local high school. He also  had many under age parties at his parents house. *you know, it doesn’t help when one is part Catholic and you know that the Catholics love to party, you know?* The funny thing was he lived in an area of the middle class, not the startup of the upper middle class which accelerated the town by the end of the 1980s, where many of those kids I knew from school would their parents move to.
I knew more about my father when I was older than 21 than I was younger. The very naive self back when I was about 8 (and this is going to sound really lame) but I really thought I randomly came here, untill some kids in school probed about my father to me. And my mother explained honestly that she was with my father for a period of time and both when their ways.
To this day, sans my naive self, I still felt like I came here randomly out of illlogic, and coming here with the intent that I wouldn’t have a father in my life. If you belive that a god or God exists, you’d think there would be logic that given how much a jackass (and I should say that even stronger – a JACKASS) why would he give me life?
What started the real troubles of missing a father was the most illogical places and time of my life. Middle school. I was in a middle school program in another part of the state, and it was my classmates, my peers and a teacher’s assistant who was just new to my program that started to basically pick on or not be discrete that my father wasn’t in my life. The last name I carry in my life is life of my father, and these students and paraprofessionals went out of their bounderies of bringing up a guy I never really knew. This was never challenged because I went to the program in Massachusetts by that July, but one or two of the staff people there did probe me about my father too.
Staff or students need to be very careful if there is no mention of the father, then it might be best to not ask. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell anyone?
And whats really sad is how society is very judgemental about the lack of a father in society. Yes I have done this subject on this blog on an often basis, but I am also aware that fathers don’t always work for all families and yes, mothers that are single should not do both roles. It doesn’t work. I am not going to even touch the welfare issue because it makes me sick. What makes me sick even more is how our newsgathering networks are not even covering inter/national events instead to being the FM/HD Talk Radio for cable news. The Fox News Networks including the Fox News Channel and Fox Business Network have been on a tirade (yes an assault) against single mothers and women being the sole breadwinners and the lack of fathers in families. This kind of content is being aired during what other networks are in a “newswheel” or the “Trading Day”. The talent ranges from Lou Dobbs, Charles Payne, Eric Bolling, to even the Chief Moonbat Commentator Juan Williams in the most recent attacks defending somewhat of the nuclear family values.
I can attest a nuclear family actually causes families to blow up and actually fall part. Maybe it is right to not focus on our families as much, but you will never hear that from FNC. Never mind they won’t hold the family accountable who lost 2 children in an NYC shooting allegedly from their nanny. Even if its an NBC employee, because FNC loves to attack people at NBC – but they won’t because that father was the breadwinner and since he’s an exec at CNBC, because heaven forbid its so socially inappropriate to say that rich people shouldn’t have the right to have children, even when the nanny will be raising the children. You’ll see more blog posts on the Krimm family having their child instead of a public dialogue if parents of all classes should have the same right of having a child. *Cue the crickets*.
Regardless a “news” operation that is supposed to be doing their duty to cover news, should not (and I MEAN SHOULD NOT) be a goddamned soap box by expressing fathers should be fathering every children. Leave it to the Web and the bloggers, and NOT what Payne and Dobbs are telling my asswipe father from the Valley (or wherever he is now) should be parenting me! It is not your GODDAMNED business to be caring about everyone else! Go do your stupid stock picks instead of being the crossdressing narrow-demographic targeted, blue collared man BUT dressed as a classy, liberal* newsman to be taken seriously! 
*Reports and targets to a mass audience of all groups, all races, all civil backgrounds, all minds, and not just the middle class or the upper middle class, unlike Bolling, Payne or Dobbs.
So yea, I miss having a father, but I try to live day to day and not be judged just because I don’t have a dad or have simialar expirences to my “normal” likeminded people of my age.