Close to brain dead…

I have suspected my brain is heading to severe damage. This is by no means this is being light hearted. Between the damages occurring at the end of the 20th Century, the injustice from that time; to the chaos that was during COVID, getting COVID, and continued mix of sheltering in place and being quarantined during the infection; and the lack of a near term outcome has put a lethal mix going forward. I already was damaged prior to March of 2020, the pre, present and post pandemic situation has made my situation at no point of recovery.

I am afraid I am going to die with my brain exploding internally from all the stress and anxiety that has went skyfold 2 years ago and suspecting it could be another 2 years of uncertainty and lack of stability, and responsibility being pushed solely on me.

I am so angry… I ask myself why I have to be on the receiving end yet again? Why can I not function? Why is everyone around me appears to me to be inpatient and I choose to be who I am?

Autism is not a choice.

Life is not a choice.

Hierarchal children do not ask to be born.

Satan: please take this soul way, I am at a loss now.