The Hopeless Autistic: S*it I Don’t Tell MAN-agement, But Write in a Blog Post…

New stuff, not from the original site

You ask me what I want in a Day Program? Wouldn’t be great as a 32 year old to not have to go on a 12th grade school schedule? Those ‘Typicals can have some really cool work schedules where they go north when everyone goes south, and comes home south when everyone is going north. It’d be nice to start work when the sun is literally in the middle of the sky. It’d also be cool go out and socialize with open minded people before I go home so I can go home with a smile. But you always infer that I am supposed to be anxious, and depressed and be called out on it as if its my fault… like I choose to be obscenely autistic and be a badass.

It’s like saying when I lost my pet fish in 2014, I didn’t properly clean the tank to VERY pristine fashion and didn’t feed my fish for dinner not just at 6 o’clock but 6 o’clock zero seconds, zero milliseconds!

No wonder why I feel like a totaled car!

Managers are like goddamned professors and their effing philosophical minds…

(Un)Ethical Standards 101

One of my living nightmares is seeing how people lower on the social totem pole will be getting treated like crap and people on the higher levels of the social totem pole will have 99% zero-accountability.

And the reason why I am saying this is my day program (that I am still in a few hours on a single day x/week) has been changing. I’ve been told my the manager that the program basically has to changed to meet “the State’s” rules for these programs. The abstract is basically smaller groups = more one-on-one = allegedly more accountability to staff.

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A Day in the Life

The other day there was a Halloween party at my local program. I’m still on one partial day because I can’t handle the stress of being micro managed, and the bossy treatment by the staff towards me and others. Before the event, I took an Ativan (to curb off the anxiety and sensory overload.) It’s important to know that I never had sensory issues in my teenage years, because I was heavily drugged.

I got there just before noon and socialized with people. About a year later I’ve gotten familiar of both the clients (the staff is another story.) The Halloween party began around 12:30 and we were in the art room (which is a big garage because its located at an industrial park. About 20 feet of openness and loud noises, one of the leaders speaks very loudly and doesn’t speak quieter if someone is 10 feet vs 30 feet away.

The party was fine. I met a new manager who was hired in September and had doubts. She seems young, and managerial type. She knew about my schedule and never got a chance to meet me. She acts like a heartless manager from my first impressions. She is managing a group of people and managing them like they are numbers or what. (at first blush) She’s a product of that infamous institution in Durham. A lot of millennial types have majored in ether partying, management or what. Just what we need more “managers” to make things more depressing.  I hope this woman is doing things in the best interests of the clients because I still live in the trauma of the mismanagment and the Hackerama of GLEC. If you don’t want to deal with humans, then don’t work in management in this field!

Hopefully I know more about her when I go there for lunch next week before my Tuesday activity and meet with her at least one on one for a few minutes…

I’ve typically go on Tuesdays, but because I went on Thursday instead I was told that in the afternoons is a “choice activity”, well I was surprised because the last time I went on a Thursday afternoon there was already a choice made. In anyways we went to a dollar store nearby the client was explaining the staff where to go. I took over and said “its near [redacted location]” and got through there.

The client said “good” and asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said “no”.

Ten seconds later I muttered, well I have one but she doesn’t exist. I woke up my iPhone and dazed a Photoshop composite image of me and my “wife”, Melanie at the local beach from this past summer.

Then because the Boston radio market is a joke, the iHeartRadio Top 40 station was getting broken up in Nashua, near downtown. The barely legal staff stated “lost service” (I laughed in my mind because one way radio communications isn’t a “service”) but told him to go to the Class B station, another Top 40 station from Worcester, the stick that’s on the state park in Framingham, if I’m not mistaken.

We got to the dollar store and were there for a few minutes before I was dropped off taking the back roads up north.

Today could’ve been worse. I’ve had a number of outbursts and loosing my patience because of a lack of organization. Most of the staff smokes (they aren’t smoking where they aren’t supposed to but more of “is that good for your health and for us if you’re that stressed out” like thing.)

I don’t know what it’s like to run a day program, but I’m not faulting them ether. It’s just they need to have better organization. If the staff isn’t so confusing then won’t be as confused ether.