#OutspokenAutistic (December 15th, 2021)

In mid December of last year, I decided to roll my camera and speak raw for 20 minutes just crying for action as I see my peers (and worse myself) getting screwed with a really abusive culture no one is willing to call out. Why did I record this? Because I think the trigger was a conflict with my mother. Second in mid December 2021, I saw two tech YouTubers one that’s Dave’s Garage, and another who didn’t know what Boardmaker was. The third YouTuber is a female vintage Macintosh content creator, that had the undertones of a typical Londonderry-girl.

I was also feeling severely degraded, that I felt I should rename the vlobs, the Outspoken Autistic.

This is the community I want to build, the average autistics who have been silenced to obey the horrible moral corruption.

Phase II of the #HopelessAutistic – When it Impacts Me

In my written works of The Hopeless Autistic, I cited the reasons why I felt “hopeless”. That being:

  • They won’t be able to find an ideal, and reasonable day program
  • They won’t be able to find an ideal support staff
  • That they will not be able to have a reasonable and healthy social life
  • And won’t be able to find love

Since the original writings from 2015 to 2017; this has gotten worse. I had been basically let go without warning from my day program in the midst of the pandemic. Support staff is better, and now it’s all 1 on 1 going forward. The social network continued to erode and in fact it wasn’t even strong to begin with, especially with the Facebook-friends. Let’s not even touch love with a 10′ pole, looking back, that was hopeless from the start.

So I was basically right (even though I wanted to be wrong) that in 5 years, the system for individuals with developmentally delayed conditions would get screwed over, and that was pointing to the year 2020. Well COVID19 just distracted all of us. Now that the pandemic is allegedly in a managed situation, the managed care is returning back.

In the next five years, unless a miracle happen (which is slim to none at this point…)

  • Autism or ASD like conditions will continue to not be well known.
  • ASD will not be classified as an “invisible” disability, like it should
  • Ignorance about autism, and arrogance of it’s potential will accelerate
  • Millennials are slowly having children, and they may have an autistic child; but they will be just as clueless as their Boomer parents.
  • The mass ignorance of the general community, and the present lack of strong voices to provide positivity to help people like me to move forward.
  • The biggest fear is I will be written off the books because my disability (despite statistically showing I need a lot of support) because autism is not a physical handicap, and therefore it shouldn’t be funded.  

With my family shrinking, with my social subnet shrinking, no new people are open to me to be part of their life; let’s not even touch the S.O. opportunities at this point, that is clearly Game Over. With the lack of growing, the lack of learning, the lack of forgiveness of others, the lack of general awareness to my group, this is really going to get a HELLUVLA LOT WORSE before it gets even close to “better”.

I was gaslit for saying “the system was on fire” by 2016, and was told the state agency didn’t see it that way. But I saw the cracks and saw the sparks, and now in early 2022, the same thing is coming for my life. I am desperately scrambling for my life of when that dreaded day where I may loose services only because the politics of the dev disabled is only getting worse.

You folks were The First to Know “the system” was on fire in the State of New Hampshire. Hacks like Dan Habib decided to cover it up to instead produce inspiration porn to deceit you. But I am not a filmmaker. I carry an ENG camera and I will continue to speak more assertively in 2022 in the #OutspokenAutistic series of content to wake living fuck of people to understand I could be totally screwed by 2027.

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