Trigger Warning: I’m going to possibly be speaking ill of the deceased. You can turn away or click “Read More” at your own risk.
I’m going to be blunt: I feel relieved, empowered and happy weeks to months after I was told the news.
I have explained and expressed thoughts here the individual who had so much respect by anyone but an individual like me. I use this in past tense because as I was turning 30, a woman who was part of my early life – actually in my core had passed away from a rare illness and passed on January 1st. The family support community got wind by February vacation. It came to so many as a surprise, but it shouldn’t be unexpected given how private she was as a professional.
For me my family found out around that same time.
Knowing how bad my twenties were, they waited till after I turned 30 in March to tell me the news. I felt sad, because she died in a very tragic fashion; but on the other hand I felt other things. It’s like a murderer that got away with the crime finally got justice. Even as late as last year I tried to file a complaint but never followed through. At times I feel maybe not bitter, but still angry of what she did to MY state. Not her state, because she lived in Massachusetts (see below.) If it was OK for professionals to not be forgiving and rehash the past in confidential paperwork and defame people like me, then why can’t I publicly?
My humble years had her part of my life. The IEP team had included her in as a consultant for the Londonderry School District, where she steered for the autism diagnosis in the early 1990s for me. She was my psychothearpist from 2000 to 2008 where two weeks after my 21st I fired her. I have no regrets despite an off and on again working relationship after that, well how can you fully sever the tie of someone who was like my “third mother”? (This would explain why I had so much emotional resent.)
I cannot speak for the thousands her DNA was on; I had worked with her for 18 years. Is this normal for others? I cannot say. It’s about me today.
During that grey years of 18 to 21; I felt like I had to be very careful of what I said, because gawd forbid I say something off color or offended a woman. Being obedient was a requirement, and one couldn’t mess with her. She sure as hell didn’t teach risk. Speaking about this even if she didn’t pass wouldn’t been taken seriously. If I forgave her, it would enable her to do harm. This is the example of narcissistic people; where they have some charm, preach to the choir, and never question the authority of autism in the East Coast. That was the power she had. If you didn’t have autism, and you loved her as a woman-crush, no wonder why you disrespect people like me.
Simply, I felt devalued. I felt small. I was emotionally scarred. She was one of those feminists of “hear me roar”, and I felt like she was a lion. As previously stated, assertive over aggressive is the better way man OR A woman. But she wanted you to know that she was the boss. I had to figuratively say “yes ma’am” to this “boss” of an ASD expert.
This was taken from a Facebook post at the time. I added footnotes to explain where I was coming from.
It’s been just over two months that I found out that Teresa Bolick died on January 1st. Given she resided in MA and illegally worked in NH (served on commissions that should require NH Drivers Licenses – I.E. YOU HAVE TO BE A RESIDENT) does that mean that given the [Ex Patriots player Aaron] Hernandez case that all the damage she did is now null and void too?
This little legal tidbit was brought up after his alleged suicide. While Ms. Bolick did not do that; I forget if the loophole of Massachusetts criminal law – of which any crimes that are found guilty are basically cleared when the criminal dies; would also apply to natural death. I felt she did things so wrong, that I feel while I couldn’t hold her criminally liable, could we be figurative and think she was a convicted hack and not have it figuratively overturned? Hence why I wrote this in the first place
I will break the social norm of “speaking ill of the dead” and say this woman was not just a Fraud on Nashua’s Broad St, but she did so much damage to my family and me. And what’s so disgusting while its not a legal thing, the human aspect is by not talking about this means it’d be just as bad in the legal sense. I cannot accept her death and her getting away with not only over-therapy, not the slander and defamation in “confidential” documents; but also singling me out and defending everyone else and pointed the finger at me.
This paragraph I like to expand upon. This is how I feel like a Joe-Shmuck, was thanks to her. I am nothing but a wallflower. While I may had not been clear at times; there were other people I have held responsible, including myself. I just want to be fair. I’ve explained her defamation in the past, and some of it was the old school negative first. The family stuff I’ll keep within my family, which is why I left it at that.
And everyone who has spoke nicely of her since January are everyone but “the individuals themselves” parents, paras, possible DSP types, and not people like ME!
Again why do families and professionals always seem to get the attention, training and awareness while someone like me was like an afterthought?
In fact, so many people were so inspired by her words; they never had time to realize what she was doing wrong.
She was progressive, but the major fail on her part was not including folks other than people with “Asperger Syndrome” (her spelling not mine). Don’t forget her Saint Valentine’s Day workshops where she blatantly encourage discrimination
This was in reference to this post. Why didn’t anyone else speak against this? Is this another example of people were so inspired that they didn’t have the time to question any of her advice?
I am sorry to rain on people’s Monday morning, but I sure hope she was living in heaven when she was alive and is now in resting with fear in hell. This woman was almost a terrorist in her own perverted mind. I cannot follow social norms and say “rest in peace [you narcissistic b!tch]”.
The t-word, well if you are going to make people scared of people that suffer on ASD, then why would she in the workshops have such language and tone that would creep people out? The real anger started to accelerate after 2008 when I started to notice her workshops and her as an Autism professor type. In fact I think she did some teaching at Rivier. And this is how she could possibly teach others to be charming and rude and disrespectful to the Joe Schmucks, and then threaten the public since there is already anger and hatrid to the autism population, why would no one stop her from encouraging and perpetuate fear and anxiety about my group?
That would violate my moral duties as a NH RESIDENT to PROTECT MY OWN from the evils from Middlesex County/liberals/etc. since victim rights for autistics are far from reality right now, PERPETRATED by the Fraud.
Again, if you had read my stuff she was on the Commission on ASD and later the NH Council on ASD and had a seat on the board. The legality was questionable because the board would by default require someone who had residency. How can an out of stater be on a state advisory council or a board seat that requires RSA 91A compliance? It’s like saying someone from Derry can ask to go onto Londonderry’s Zoning Board.
Everyone loved her. I struggle to find love (i.e. acceptance.) Not just romance, but just feeling the feels (sorry for the slang!)
I felt so violated that when people did ask about going to Teresa (even if they didn’t know that I had) I’d get immediately angry. I used a phrase in a support team meeting of “my penis was chopped off“, that being a guy (on top of being autistic) was to be ashamed about. That’s why I come off feminine at times. On top of being abused in a non sexual way by other women, I have no sex drive. I have no more hormones. It’s all depleted. I thank Ms. Bolick for that for her anti-male, anti-autism-empowerment and only if you had “Asperger Syndrome [sic, her phrase]” then you’d be empowered.
I have also come to conclusions of what occurred when everything started to unravel. If I was able to elaborate this to her, she’d be like a man and force me to write off the thoughts because I didn’t know what I was talking about. I am unable to get most of what my life was before entering middle school; and never get that back. It breaks me to tears. Her aggressive push to be with my peers meant I have to move out of NH because there is no one my own age that lives here anymore.
Being out of district was one thing, but to have been abused non-sexually by a powerful woman is the reason why I have so much resentment.
I am seeing a therapist since last summer, and one of the goals is to “Defining Me”. That will take a long time. I also hope that other young professionals who are in NH to step up and be inclusive. Because “Dr.” Bolick did encourage ableism, segregation and division. She was a Granite Stater in that regard.
I feel people needed to know. I would hope people wouldn’t be offended and realize how much – one guy had to go through. I understand there is a social norm for not talking about the dead; but it’s been two months after for me, and six months of her passing.
If this was an isolated matter, then I’ll say it was my bad luck.
Peace and “love” ~Steven~