…and who gets punished? ME!

For many years I have been a victim (because I was a survivor in the moment) to people with not only an NPD like temperament but the Type-A, the antsy, always looking for something to pat themselves on the back. They really were not looking out for me.

On Christmas Eve in 2019, I had a conflict of a former support staff that was supposed to be a friend at this point. There was some irash statements, but when I went to the bathroom, my phone started to ring. This person was clearly a Type-A’s Type-A, immediately hit the phone button to call me, and left a message, then texted me, then I got a nice bigass lecture from a 50something woman ordering me around, I was forced to comply with “yes, I get you” kinda thing.

Ever since then this forward-thinking biach has ghosted me. But whose at fault? ME! Yet again! Whenever I felt push, I felt shoving back, because how would you feel as a woman of a man telling you what to do? Are you happy that I am a man so you can fuck me over?

That individual was of the many, many masculine types who wanted outcomes for their own gain. That pushing someone out of line would get me places. How would you feel as a woman that I pushed you around. The woman was really bossy and knew how to get an answer by asking specific and clear questions. I was pushed to be “very clear” and talk faster than a New York minute and even then I was still not enough to get their attention. There was always a catch, and there was always some caveat.

I can’t ever win. Pushing people what you want is never OK, but it was for many of my masculine types of women in my life.

To not completely write her off, she did help me through the maze of the system with being spiffy in my words. But I certainly did not appreciate the pushing as a motivator because the environments around me would not tolerate me pushing through sand.

That individual reminded me yet again my biggest disability is being a guy. And sadly of all the ladies in my life, only 5 or so did not have the Type-A/NPD signatures and yet I couldn’t work with them for long. I haven’t had a friend like that in my life. Why do I get the get the worse people? I didn’t ask to be a narcissist!