Editorial Note: don’t you hate it when you hit “Publish” but you still are writing as if it’s November and it’s 3 days into December? opps
The key experience with this chica is she was extremely, and may I emphasize authentically friendly than other guests that would be at desk. Year over year, I got the feels her authenticity was very evident, and not every guest got this treatment. While I said “you have made an impression with me” was never said back, only because I got the feeling that was likewise in verbal exchanges and the facial expressions.
Today’s post focuses on two separate but equally important experiences earlier this month, as feeling hopeless was already a baseline I entered into November and relapsed given the month’s political developments, and even on the state level… it’s an antidote to accommodations to invisibly disabled, and something I think for the first time could be something above limerence. The title of the post refers to a specific female of Latin/Hispanic decent hence why she’s earned a nickname of the “Cute Chica”.
The First Day of November
Portsmouth at this point (unlike the other two times as research for relocating) was a mini getaway, and was anticipated to be the 2nd to last week of October as the weather and other family events may take precedence, given the long year for my family member. In fact, one of the reasons of such getaway I was also really missing my favorite chica, I actually prayed to see if I could get her number or ask her out and hoping no bling on her hands, etc. I can’t confirm if the prayers work as God is never available or comment at any time of publication, as the weekend went on I did feel something “divine” inside of me happening.
Check in was almost as identical as the other 3 visits. This time, Mum came in with me because another time they needed her to be present for consent to charge the card, now as I thinking March 2023 I was checked by someone else and the Chica came out in between the backoffice, and that someone else had a different processes. Just like the other 3 visits, statically friendly, at times with an upfront sweetness and when Mum left, I went into my room after 4:30-even, 90 minutes late from the earliest check in, but what the heck, it was 80° and I packed up too much. For me to check in literally at the bottom of the hour per to the invoice when checking out that Monday was surprising.
When mum checked in on me to see if I was OK, apparently a few minutes later I missed the text message. I responded to her just before 5:00 as she’s “the female [Starbucks manager down the road]” who said very nice things about me over a month ago.
Earlier in October, my mother went to pick up an app order at the drive thru, of which she didn’t hit the green order button until she was at the window! It also wasn’t the first and won’t be the last. The manager by policy can’t allow customers to wait for their order they just placed. The rule quickly got un enforced when I was brought up in this conversation as they have seen her and I but didn’t realize we were together (as mother and son)
My mother told me when she got home that they spoke highly of me to my her. Feeling valued and they know I’m “different” would play into this “divine” weekend, in the most sincerest way.
Fast forward back to November 1st. I feel like I had made an impression with her, even though it was never said explicitly. As if she knew someone very personal in her life that’s like me. To prevent a March 2023 incident (as briefly mentioned), I didn’t drink when I went to the 110 Grill again, while I did sit at the bar, but it wasn’t busy, and yes ya know there is the unwritten rule to get something of that nature in a bar. They were short staffed.
Around 8pm, I came to the side entrance, as I heard a door burst open. It was her. She came and let me in that’s locked to guests only, with a keycard. As she stormed out like some Latino girls do, it was more of a bustle as she was wishing me good night as she was appearing to head towards the municipal parking garage, since this hotel doesn’t have much of parking garage or a lot in the ol city of Portsmouth.
So I had to wait the following afternoon to actually ask her a question that could jeopardize the respect. You know the moment you say you’re “autistic” and they run for the hills? In this freckin state, that’s still a thing even as 2024 ends!
The Very Surprising Accommodation for Invisibly Disabled Folks (No, I didn’t ask her out)
On the chain’s app, it gives the guest an option to help assist guests if they are disabled if an event of a fire alarm or a evacuation is ordered. Mum sent the screengrabs just as she was able to book the room number (the day before Halloween if I remember.) On that Saturday afternoon, I message my therapist for advice on how to ask her out. While I did get a response (the attempt to make a move was going to be later in the day or Sunday or Monday), I went downstairs to ask the accommodation with a way to break the ice, somehow the disability would be brought up. As I have implied, I think she may had known something in the previous 3 visits that wasn’t seen as a red flag… then at the asme time I see some chemistry.
I sat nearby the lobby for the other guest to walk away, and walked up as saw her just go back to the backroom and asked that another lady to have her to come out. (Since the initial draft, I statically told the same story to 2 other people, when I asked a friend who works as DSP, that individual told me this could be construde as inappropriate. Says a woman whose boyfriend she “stole” in high school nearly a decade ago.) Not to be an ass, but “she’s a familiar face, and I feel it’s within some right to communicate to a trusted person”. It wasn’t like I was hiding behind the indoor bushes…
I asked “When my mother booked the room, there was an option on the app for accommodations for evacuation.. what are the accommodations?” then I was told basically the generic processes of how they can help etc. There was a reason why I didn’t remember word for word, because it wasn’t relevant until…
When I reframed the question “does this extend to developmental disabilities, people with sensory issues, and so on;” I said something like “not to get too vulernable but I have an autistic condition”…as I found out in one of the most curveball of situations, she answered like it such “processes are the same” for others. She also acknowledge and nodded her head in sympathy that are challenges for “people that can’t ‘see’ their disability”.
Now Steven, you’re just all googly-eyed to assume her sympathy is all a front. No, this chica I can tell phony from real… as I eluded to. She’s the real deal.
But that wasn’t the end…
In the future stay, if such accommodations were brought up, such as disclose my needs and the front desk cutie is not there, that if event the front desk needs help relaying me information, that covering staff could contact her personal number off hours. My jaw dropped to the floor. I started to clutch the heart that I never done before. I never ever thought such accommodations was even possible in this state.
As mentioned, it appears this unnamed gal saw the subtle signs of ASD during other times. When someone really-gets-you, you talk in a language only the two gets. Oh and I have had these convos before IRL, but there’s a true, sympathetic and empathic response. This has never really happened, but I know everyone else in my life that has been lucky in this way. This is one of the first instances in recent years as an adult where I felt like I got direct sympathy for my needs – and this couldn’t be addressed in “the system”.
When she told me about that very specific accommodation, who wouldn’t drop their jaw? Actually I don’t think such accommodations should be supported because you’re then becoming somewhat dependent on a single person (and you know that story I’ve repeated before.) I held my heart with so much appreciation, and thanked her as I walked back up to the room
Asking Her Out Blew Up Without a Backup Plan
It’s very evident that she understands all of this stuff. However the plan backfired for asking her out. For the next day or so I developed various ideas to approach it. She was off the next day and a half, and was going to be in on apparent 2nd shift on checkout day that Monday. My therapist who has been suggested to learn social and communication skills for these subject matters, resulted in my first ever Voice Memo sent as an iMessage since I knew it was going to be longer than a vmail, at 3 minutes and 50 seconds! He responded back with being simple and honest, so I developed a mental script, the mental script served as a baseline and ad-lib around it to sound natural.
Because she wasn’t there, I gave adlibbed feedback because I knew would get to her, I looked at merely the timing was off, but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. I now know I sense being a “regular” there, but even with all that accommodations, which may I repeat in 2024 was really unexpected and I never wanted to take advantage, but I have this feeling in my heart that isn’t beating like crazy, but it’s getting warm and fuzzy. Given I talk about relationships in the past, I am not sure if this is romantic, or just friendly type of relationship. But when January comes, don’t be surprised for another short weekend getaway, and depending on the mood, I may go further and do things I never thought I’d do in New Hampshire let alone be possible.
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