On the fifth week of the New Year, I was scheduled to have a week off to recharge and try to replenish my remains of energy of being the second sole burden to the family. The sane one, the one who thinks and talks constructively and the one that asks good questions, not that I am tooting my horn. This story is a long one because it started rough on Monday for my mother, but ended harder for me when Friday came along.

The issues of other family members are are still strong hot spots in this firestorm of a situation for both just over a year in…and I am depleted

I went to Dover for the first time (the second time I went there was on the outskirts of the city when I was at SLC and we went to the Chilli’s on the south end. It was to see my therapist for a session in person for the first time in over a couple years. On our way, a magnitude 3.8 (originally reading as 4.2) off the coast of York, Maine (20 miles to the state line, and about the same distance to Portsmouth of which where I was going to stay for the week.

I heard it on The Sports Hub, and it’s unusual for a sports format radio station to do news, since the FCC since they don’t force every local station to cover news these days. My mother and I went to brunch after, then started to take the long way to the Port City.

Monday: Frequent Guest, Meh Experience

When I checked into the hotel, the Chica wasn’t there, They wouldn’t tell me if she was coming in, they claimed “I don’t know her schedule” since it was unclear if there was going to be more tremors, I didn’t bother asking accommodations since these people were most likely not going to get-it.

I said something like “not to get too vulernable but I have an autistic condition”…as I found out in one of the most curveball of situations, she answered like it such “processes are the same” for others. She also acknowledge and nodded her head in sympathy that are challenges for “people that can’t ‘see’ their disability”.

In the future stay, if such accommodations were brought up, such as disclose my needs and the front desk cutie is not there, that if event the front desk needs help relaying me information, that covering staff could contact her personal number off hours. My jaw dropped to the floor. I started to clutch the heart that I never done before. I never ever thought such accommodations was even possible in this state.

From a post in November 

To be honest, the question asked in November “what would happen if you weren’t here” was those questions I had to ask…because coming to stay coincidentally on her vacation coincidentally could be highly possible. To also be honest for this blog, I feared a sense of false dependency with one person (because i never heard the end of it when I would ask for specific DSPs at a day program with reax like “What if she gets hit by a bus?”)

As I mentioned in a recent video about her, Day 0 back in late 2022 was very evident of how accommodating this lady was at a chain hotel on the New Hampshire border, because in another example apparently when my mother booked the room, it was a pre-authorization with the credit card, that the paying person needs to be present upon checking in, but I said last week walking in with my mother  “they don’t have her magic”, because the cutie never did this – either she knew she could trust me or b) she knew I was different and wanted independence. The skeptical side of me thinks both to a certain degree

The High Stimuli Stay

The experience was legitimately so-so… baseline of the front desk people was professionally-friendly. There is construction going on (that began the day I checked out in November.) It appears the 5th and 4th floor was done (4th was where I stayed), lots of loud noises, construction began 7 am sharp (the sunrise in Portsmouth at that point was at 7:03), and guests lacked door manners as their doors slammed shut every time. Regardless I got decent sleep, the first couple nights, a solid 6 and 8 hours respectively and few hours for the other nights as I don’t want to complain.

Throughout Tuesday and Wednesday, I was literally chasing the snow in the city and also wanted to visit the Municipal Complex and the Public Library.

Wednesday: Bachiyan Was Indirectly Beside Me in Portsmouth

At a minute before 11:00 am on Wednesday, en route by foot to City Hall, I received a message from my paternal aunt that my paternal grandmother passed away the night before. As I saw the message pop in the push notification, I just kept carrying on, until I went into city hall and within a few seconds I spotted Japanese related memorabilia in the box display near the Council Chambers. As I left the building an hour later heading back to Downtown, I spotted a sign for Japanese Cherry Trees on the Pond that separates Downtown and the Municipal Complex. Apparently those Cherry Trees came from a sister-city from Japan.

Bachiyan was apparently with me. In fact future writings about the run-in of my paternal family has since been canceled because she’s gone and anything five years ago is somewhat not relevant now. I did reply to the text message the following night, after buying a card earlier on the chilly day, and the rest of Thursday I spent in my room.

Thursday: Portsmouth is decked out for Vday, what do I do?

I did initially buy another card. A subtle romantic undertone for the Cutie at the Coast. I asked the clerk at the ritzy stationary store what could be a good one that was not so overt ( if an event I was rejected) I told her that my heart is telling me that I should ask, and I wasn’t kidding or being hyperbolic either. Something is screaming so loud down in the heart to do something.

Friday was the check out day and I had to nudge (bordering on perceived pushing ) to ensure “the note” was going to the Cutie, the other girl (whose newer there) said “it would be in her cubby”. I recorded some expierence of this for a vlog post at a later date. In fact while I was unable to pray for a great experience yet again, I did pray for hopes of a better outcome upon checkout.

As I mentioned in the post about the accommodations, advocacy is something I don’t know too well because the self-advocates fucking politicized it. How am I supposed to get the right answers to people who don’t know me that I know the Chica well?  How am I supposed to be assertive without being aggressive? I almost went passive by this point, bordering on  nagging on the confirmation.

Friday: Mum gets Laid (off) by her Company

My mother and I went to Kittery to the Trading Post, and then headed back west to home. But after lunch out she told me while she was waiting for me on Monday, her boss’ boss called her to tell her that she was going to be laid off. In all of my criticisms of her, she did a damn good job masking that emotion because she didn’t “want to ruin” my vacation. They literally cut ties to her work email and 18 years of a mix of personal and professional emails (and not to mention those .PST Outlook databases) were quickly denied.) and it’s unclear if she can purge her emails for good.

I am not surprised this happened, but shocked at the timing. The layoffs were prepped in late of last year, and this came on the heels of their earnings call late last week (since they’re a public company). She’ll get full pay for said years of her service, as well as access to health benefits through payment. While being let go, at least she could use some of that time to take care of family business that has been put on the back burner well enough. I also think the two of us should spend some quality time at least a couple staycations because whatever job she picks up she’ll quickly realize that maybe those mandatory vacations in Europe or the amount of holidays elsewhere isn’t that bad after all, she’ll only have at least 2 weeks of vacation and a handful of personal and sick time as paid time off.

And this is also an ironic timing, because given the situation, any respite trips to the Coast is on hold for at least the foreseeable future, so if there’s any rejection from the Cute Chica, would be far removed in the timing sense if I go back there.

Will we still have this place we call home? Yeah she refi’d a couple years ago but that was long before the signs of her getting let go was more evident.

The issues of other family members are are still strong hot spots in this firestorm of a situation for both just over a year in…and I am depleted

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