Category Archives: autism

Love, Hunger or Lust or All of the Above

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No memory of the original posting likely late 2011/mid 2012, metadata got corrupt most likely – it predated A Puzzling View on Relationships.

Note: This post may contain some explicit references. Reader Discretion is Advised.
As someone who has experienced zero romantic relationships, and just a billion crushes, it is extremely difficult for being single, not able to date people or be sexually active. Not that being sexually active is right to begin with. However, there are times my hormones go through the roof (and of course, being someone with an autistic disorder, I have to control myself or become a Level 3 Sex Offender.) Part of it is  because I haven’t felt the physical form of love. I used to hug people in the recent past, but since my social circle has shrunk it hasn’t happened. I’ve only kissed a few girls outside of the lips, and I never had any forms of sexual encounters or anywhere near that. Nor was I ever sexually abused, it may be best that I  add that in there.
I see “normal”/”nerotypical” or “typical” or someone that doesn’t have a disability can get away with social norms, but for someone like this writer, its frowned upon.  You see this same thing on Facebook, a sexually attractive lady getting attention on a comment of her default image of what would could be considered as sexist statements. I should say reversed sexist comments. If I made a similar comment, I would be a Level Three Sex Offender, but a “nerotypical” (“normal”) person would get away of it. Why is that?
I really wished I could hit on a girl successfully. I don’t. Often I just failover to just be quiet. I often don’t know how to flirt. Lately, I have an influx of testosterone so I often want to flirt in a sexual nature. Often I am just too chicken to really go that far. The other day, I went to a store and the cashier was a pretty sexually attractive lady with cleavage showing with a cute pushup bra and camisole with her bust very aligned. I just got silent, my voice just got too scratchy or way too soft and it goes that way when my sex hormones goes out of wack. That girl or lady had a sexy figure, borderline “slender” about 5 foot 6, and well she was blond (and typically I don’t dig for blonds) but she was pretty hot regardless.
While I get sometimes horny and just sexually crazy, I have to say I never had any sexual encounter. Whether you like it or not, or agree or disagree with the morals of ether underage sex, unwedded births or non marriage sex; people do “do it” and some don’t “do it”. And many people my age have done it, and these are privileged people with college degrees with a higher social class and are probably conservative types, but yet they aren’t religious. Kinda illogical huh?  Well I am poor, disabled with a disability about 70% of the people of my age bracket don’t care for, or would never want to fuck with or even want to be friends (again referring to the “normal” population.)
I do subscribe to the notion that girls go past their prime at 25 or their mid twenties, and well I hate to sound like a “cold hearted conservative”, but girls do look hot in their early twenties, and their sexual drive is at their peak, and they seem to be hot to get laid, and I again don’t want to offend anyone, but with that being said – I missed out on that. Its every guys (or girls) dream when they are in the junior year or in their college years to loose their virginity and litter the roads with condoms, and stuff like that.
I don’t want to say that I think lust is an appropriate thing to feel, but jeez in my long 25 years of not ether understanding interpersonal relationships or being accepted in society, its really progressing to be an aggravating sensation. I feel like I am one of the few people that unfairly has been missing out on what could be an awesome thing (or not even that ether!)
I don’t know what “love” is outside a family perspective.
Is “love” invisible like you know software or is it physical like hardware?
Is love touchable?
Is love just about feelings?
Is love about common likes?
Is there a such thing as “opposites attract”?
What is it? What is it?

Developing Story: Hurricane Sandy – Wall to Wall Coverage

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If you thought Hurricane Irene was a big scare – think again.
On Tuesday, I started to read headlines about Hurricane Sandy’s potential target of the East Coast.
 
A graphic for Hurricane Sandy
This storm is pretty serious
We are in the late stages of Hurricane season as per to the National Hurricane Center. We also are dealing with a coldfront thats to the north (near Canada) and this storm that is coming from the South, is going to be very interesting. Even the experts and computer models are thrown off guard.
The Full Moon is making this even worse, because of ocean tides. I don’t want to say this is “The Perfect Storm” because that storm exactly 21 years ago on Wednesday, only effected the New England Coast. This storm is going to impact the ENTIRE Northeast!
I was just 4.5 years old when Hurricane Bob hit New England, and “The Perfect Storm” exactly 21 years to the day (it hit on October 31st, 1991.) I vaguely remember Bertha in 1996 and witnessed Irene as a very windy and rainy event. The New York City metro and Tristate area is going to be the direct impact if the storm hits the Jersey Shore. If it hits where the Snooki, J-Wow, and Pauly and the other characters of that neighborhood, the entire Northeast will be severely impacted. I am no weatherman, but Lower Manhattan would be a concern, it’d be safe to say that Upstate New York may get flooding (or if this storm is near that Arctic front, they might get snow), Northern New England for floods and wind.
I probably would have to say, the entire Eastern seaboard would get some big impacts. They are predicting erosion, and if you have a house right on the ocean view, I would be very scared if your house may get eaten by this Sandy monster. They are predicting several foot waves
Expect long term power outages (the longest for me was 4 days between a February 2010 windstorm and last years Snotober event) and just dangerous winds.
As I technically halted this blog, I am only returning to blog on this event, because it scares the hell out of me. I know we aren’t invincible to these storms (or any disasters) and I had a gut feeling that this was going to be serious. I am scared of what is going to happen.The storm isn’t going to hit my area till Monday afternoon, but I fear the mayhem, the stressors, and everything else I should be accustomed to since I have gone through many disasters in the last few years.
Stay tuned, and if you are a follower and you are in the direct impact, please join in to this story.
 

Why I can't Stand Rich People

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I was on a walk recently, and I saw a car drive by. It had on its license plate GATSBY – probably as in The Great Gatsby, a common read for many twentysomething punks. Beneath the car, had an Obama bumper sticker, giving away that this person is a rich Moonbat (or is a rich yuppie wannabee.)
I never read The Great Gatsby, and I think I am not missing anything. The book allegedly takes place in some yuppie area of Long Island turing the Roaring Twenties. I’ve read bits and pieces of other summaries, that the book essentially describes rich people who think from what I interrupted pretty liberal.  And rich too. And the book also describes the Prohibition Era – again goes back to the alcohol thing
What I have a problem is, people who think they are rich, that money buys them happiness, drink and party like its no ones business, and think voting Democrat is going to solve the world problems. I don’t like how people don’t feel the world around them, but they’ll care for someone in a third world country, and they piss money like its no ones business, and then induce themselves with so much alchies they just loose sight about the rest of the world.
I grew up in a town where there were rich anti socially drunk alcoholics, and alcohol really bothers me, I do drink – but once or twice a year. I never liked beer, and I have family members who have drinking issues. I just don’t like these classes of people. And I do know that this book was very popular on peoples Facebook account, back when the “network”  system was in use. I believe it was number 1 in my regional network, so I am not insane and retarded to say that this book has had some impact in society.

Jennifer Capriati!

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I am not the most avid tennis sport fan. I typically watch a little of it with the Wimbledon and then the Labor Day week of the U.S. Open.
So I was watching the ladies finals back a couple weeks ago, and I quickly caught my eye on a shot of Jennifer Capriati who was at the the Open (among other celeberities they kept peeking in from time to time) really popular back in the 90s and most of the last decade. When I saw the face and her name on the chyron bottom of the screen – I was like ooohhhmmmmiiiigaaawwdd! I haven’t seen this chickie in a long time! I had a big crush on her back when I was a teenager, and at that time she was just cute and hot (however you want to look at it.) So I went and used a search engine and I couldn’t believe how she’s still a hottie to this day!

A lovely Image of Jennifer Capriati, a pro tennis player recently from her Twitter account, whom of which was my teenage athlete crush
Apparently she is still somewhat of an active pro tennis player, she started pro at the age of 13 back in like 1989, and competed in a few Olympics matches, and many US Open matches (which was when I got the crush on her.) Then, she got her self into a mess into some drug and substance abuse, most recently another case in 2010. And she must’ve turned her life around, because she’s back at it again. I’ve noticed in recent images she’s got a cross necklace on her, maybe she got a little spiritual perhaps? Regardless of her troubles she is a well good athlete and I like her quote she has on her Twitter account:

mean what [yo]u say,say what [yo]u mean but dont say it meanly.

Do I take my life seriously?

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Hell yes.
I need to. No regrets. Just doing what I feel is right.
Because there are “adults” that act like corrupted* teenagers. Someone has to be “the grownup” out of the bunch.
*Corrupted in the sense they should be Convicted Felons and the only real job outside of jail should be at a talk radio station on the AM band at 50k clear channel. At least in my area, thats where Felons get a job after.
I don’t feel ashamed acting like a white collared like person. I am sick and tired of so many laid back people who think there’s nothing wrong in the world. From heads of Port Authorities responsible for killing 3,000+ people to teachers who work with retarded people to help retarded people to “friends” who think that being narcissistic and “all about them” is perfectly fine, and not being fully aware about their friends in trouble to living life as invincible.
Maybe I was raised with ultra high standards. Maybe I wanted to “be different”. Maybe witnessing 9/11 and noticing the political aftermath did something, maybe noticing people that have low standards did something.
My blog might not make sense all the time, but at the end of the day, things interconnect someway or another.
But seriously, I think its time I need to look at my notes of finding appropriate therapists to get help. I think I am overly too psycho

Question: How would you change lessons on Social Skills?

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I think there needs to be disruption to the special education world. For one there are too many women of a certain age and background. With that said, there is HORRIBLE leadership in this group. If you need a reminder, these people have effectively put scare tactics on my group of people of what I CAN’T DO. Remember, these are the same groups of people who get after the PDD groups on focusing on the negative. And of course, they never stop harping on strict social skills because we have to be 100% accurate and never make 1 mistake.
So with that said, I’m going to ask:

  • How would you change the same ol’, same ol’ practice of teaching the autistic/PDD groups on social skills?
  • Would you include the “normal” groups to act as the “equal opportunity offender”?
  • Would you teach on how to “humanize” the PDD groups, instead of focusing on turning them into goddamned robots?
  • Would you focus on the “grey” issues or attempt to teach “black and white” standards?
  • Is there a “social standard” and if so, why in the hell is there not a “manual” that most autistic people would looovveee to have and read?
  • Would you abolish the “sexual harassment” lessons in the high school age?
  • And would you be willing to treat everyone as different groups of people and not attempt to paint everyone with a broad brush?

I know there is a lot of questions, I am just putting it out there because I am sick and tired of motherly women controlling the special education hackerama and not only screwing up these vulnerable citizens; but not only that to ask Uncle Sam to pick up the tab for unnecessary pain and trauma and leaving the adult services programs to reprogram these people of how the “real world” doesn’t work like how Room 112 was teaching for most of their high school years (and I am including the younger ed classes as well.)

Young People/Adults Living with their Parents – what’s the issue?

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Well according to the libertarian people, its wrong. They think that living with their parents is causing them to become welfare dependents over time.
On the Fox News Channel’s business block on Saturday, August 4th, an extreme anti-government commentator on Cashin’ In, went way over the top, by yet again playing the sexism card. Jonathan Hoeing (a real jerk if you asked me) went against the “young men” population by subliminally calling them losers by not saying it by name. This mans opinions should scare the hell out of you with his 6th grade maturity of freedom of doing whatever the hell he wants with total individual freedoms (with no responsibilities if freedom gets abused mind you.)
What really pisses me off is how they have gotten so stuck on Obamacare’s “stay on your parents plan till they are 26” Well most kids are in college till they are ether 24 or 26 if they are going on a 6 year college degree, assuming its a full time job too. The way the fiscal center of right commentators are acting is like someone with autism getting too stuck on one issue. Hideous.
The only reason why I am very angry against these people, is they because they are snobby rich people. I came from a similar town in this state and when you have these kinds of social economic enviornments, it makes people like

EBT Card Abuse, Arrogance, and Potential Crackdowns for the Legit Crowds

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This dateline is in my own back yard of my homestate of New Hampshire. Last week, elderly woman got fired from a convenience store. The fireble offense? A 20 year old man was attempting to use his Electronics Benefit Transfer or EBT card to pay for cigarettes. The use for EBT cards in New Hampshire is supposed to be prohibited for purchases of cigarettes, booze and other things that aren’t a need so to speak.
In her words, to the local press, Jackie Whiton told the Union Leader on June 28th:

“‘What happened was, a young man came in and wanted to buy cigarettes and I asked him for his ID and he handed me his EBT card. I told him he couldn’t them with the card and he said yes he could’ The following day, the foster mother of the man, who Whiton estimates to be about 20, came into the convenience store to complain. Whiton still refused to accept the EBT card for cigarettes so the woman went to her boss, she said”

She also said to the Union Leader this:

“The next day, I got a call from the home office and they said I have to sell to him and I said at 65 years old, I have do anything I don’t want to do. I said I would bow out gracefully and gave my two weeks’ notice. The next day, they fired me.”

However the New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services told the same paper that EBT benefits can be used to purchase anything. Theoretically, these “benefits” is used for spending money since if others are receiving Social Security benefits. From what I know, the media has wrongfully made public benefits very glamorous, while many are in fixed incomes, with disabled people, and people with autism having a cap of $700 a month of revenue in order to receive benefits and for their adult services programs as well.
Now the man was kinda arrogant. The EBT card is not a valid ID. Now in the defense of the State, its their responsibility to say no or cancel purchases on ciggies or booze. Says Terry Smith, the head of the Division of Family Assistance: “if the state were to enact restrictions on how cash assistance is spent, DHHS would have to set up a costly infrastructure to monitor use, We’d need more staff and travel budgets”
Of course they have no budgets – just look at the whole Managed Care drama over the last year! Obviously various bureaucrats and pols have been on the attack of ANY public assistance.
Now for Ms. Whiton, her stance is questionable both on legal and just plain wrong as a customer service perceptive. Yes, the question for ID is right on, but to deny it because the EBT card prohibits that, when in fact the DHHS said it’s ok – thats wrong part. (I am just being fair and honest.) She said to the Union Leader “I am not against EBT grocery cards. I am not. But a woman cant even buy toilet paper or tampons with those.”
Now Jackie Whiton has applauded by the feel-me-good-tough-love-excessively emotional conservatives and has made appearences on the Howie Carr Show, a column from Carr on this story and she appeared on the Fox News Channel and other outlets as well.
But this story hitting close in my home state, when the next legislative session starts this winter, I won’t be surprised to see legislation to not only limit funding for an agency that has had the bone cut, but more zero-government approaches of our ignorant legislatures to the New Hampshire General Court and the bureaucrats of the State of New Hampshire.