What word salad as I was checking out and told the apparent new front desk gal who was only been there for 3 weeks to “protect her at all costs… she’s a keeper”. The Hotel Crush will be be described simply as a “Chica” because I know she’s Hispanic in nature, well I haven’t told you much about my fetish of Latinos, my dream girlfriend would be someone in that realm of the human race. My experience in Essex County, Massachusetts in an out of district program for 3 years says that plus I get really triggered when the stories of POTUS Trump’s Southern Border… so there’s some proof.
Tag Archives: 2022: #OutspokenAutistic
#TransformationTuesday – Family Supports = Co-Dependent Supports (Or Even Worse Types of Relationships!)
In this installment of Transformation Tuesday, this one makes me really cringe.
I have written in the past about “family support”, why should a disabled child be only entitled to family as a support, as the state has pushed the Community Based Supports? Why should siblings feel the need to be obligated to take care of their disabled siblings at the expense of their own individuality, even if they deny or not even realize it? Why is it immediate family, what about the child’s cousins that don’t-get-them?
With the rise of autism moms, the so-called “sharenting”, the publications like the Age of Autism, and other mommy-bloggers like Finding Cooper’s Voice and Carrie Freckin Cariello it seems to me that it would be illresponsible to call out the bullshit that is “family supports’ and really call it co-dependency. While this clinical word is pretty clinical, and so few are aware of this mentality, I think mix in with co-dependent siblings and parents who almost make it a rite of passage to go to the courts the moment the hiarchial child turns 18 to get full guardianship so they can control their child like they’re a still a perpetual baby.
In drafting this piece, I came across this video last week from a podcast featuring Dr. Ed Adam’s, an expert on enmeshment. Also known as emotional incest or even covert incest. Dr. Adams even argues that emotional incest is worse than sexual in nature. If you see content from autism parents or Age of Autism those parent writers often talk about their now adult children with very personal details without much consent and not much guilt. There seems to be a fetish to the female audience about their autistic daughter’s menstrual cycles as if autism could block menstruation or something perverted like that. Or another mom talking about their kid’s “crapisodes”.
These non-consenting children even if they have severe cases of autism, does rob them of any originality.
The “Epidemic” of Apathy
“Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.”— George Carlin
I’ve noticed the rise of apathy for at least two decades, nearly a third of my life. In the oughts it was subtle, but obviously when things got politicized into the Tea Party and the rise of Trump, apathy went on a multi digit uptick.
It shouldn’t be a surprise when books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was popular in the mid teens. When I bought the book for the first time just last year, while I was in Portsmouth, I wanted to get sick and vomit because I couldn’t believe i would be reading a book that despite having “fuck” inside the book where if I had a shot I’d be wasted by the first couple of pages, but just the cavalier nature of not having any sympathy of empathy as it’s being legitimized is the step into the wrong direction.
The apathy rose as Covid came to be. People were highly skeptical of the science, and didn’t care if they were super-spreaders or if people died. If someone died from Covid, it was written off as well shit happens. But a couple years later, as Roe was overturned, those “shit happens” people were all in glory that the right to live at all costs was going to be reversed. It’s not the baby’s fault for being created – even if it was caused by incest!
It shouldn’t be a surprise to see that people have no sympathy for preventing novel viruses to spread or understand that conception is not a tramp wanting to be a tramp. People do not care about history, or how something worse than a common cold can cause long term issues (such as long haul Covid) or the complex nature of pregnancy, especially when lawmakers are mostly men who forgot their vague “Female Anatomy” lessons in school many decades before.
CEOs and business leaders are completely removed from the products or services they produce. They care about pocketing “profits” and feel entitled to make millions on performance, not on actual quality. We put them up on a pedestal and respect them with their rizz. But even in non for profits, CEOs are put on so much sympathy when they lack the empathy.
Managerial people are the faces that most rank and file people will see, but managerial people have to ensure resources are properly allocated to the perceived better groups of people. This leads into caveman styled tribes, us versus them, leaving more division than unity, and will often preach unity through “team building” events to get the employees to buy into the manager’s delusion. Managerial types lack the understanding of what goes on behind creating a product or service, because they are fulfilling the need of a vice president or a CEO’s demands.
Incels? Autism? Not on my Bingo Card!
A Puzzling View on Relationships the then ASD and relationship WordPress blog, was written in retrospect really poorly written – of course that had to deal with my anger towards women, ahem I mean narcissistic people; I written about my teenage challenges, that bled into my twenties and later in life.
Andrew Tate or Fresh & not so Fit, or the Men’s Rights Activists were never considered to be on my bingo card. Even when I saw MRA type content (such as the blog, Boycott American Women around 2014 or some MGTOW YouTubers in 2017) little would I know that these fringe groups would merge into a large cringe group as insecure men who are toxic themselves.
But what’s even unexpected in my bingo card, was that autism involuntary celibates would be a strong correlation such as one expert claiming that “it must be hard for a young man with autism to understand the dating market”… wait who is the typical person and who is comparing dating to trading commodities on the CME? Do I draw intraday charts of women’s sex appeal or draw candlestick charts of her Sexual Market Value?
Whose autistic again?
I think it’s much harder now to be single than being in your mid twenties and trash some parts of feminism and take the heat for hating women, but this is at such an ultimate low. There is an attempt to discredit all autistic men as shallow and strange men, and if this was reversed (say over-generalizing typical women ) this would not end well.
Men (and sometimes women) go into groups like going to the gym or do yoga, but sometimes this community lends itself into a cult, where the deeper messaging is through cynicism and hatred to the other. In these private gatherings, this safe space is not to express freely without judgement, its those people who feel injust to literally be protected by people that think like them, I don’t like to say like-minded, because it’s really a feedback loop.
Are gyms and yoga studios bad? No, are there people who get fit not Freaks? Of course, but are we encouraging that? No because it’s much better to create breeding ground of ammonciity, then to actually try to solve underlying issues!
deep thought
“The people in my life who I don’t feel seen or heard would probably say lots more things at my funeral. I’d be like: ‘why didn’t you say that to me when I was alive?’ That must say a lot about my upbringing”
Finally Saw The #WindsorGirl…AGAIN
A Continuation of a saga of a cutie at a chain boutique store, and a follow up in the search for her
“I was having a bad morning and seeing you made my day” stated Kayla
July 1st
I had a Zoom session with my therapist who became mine following the events in the first year of the Hopeless Autistic. One of the things he wished we talked about more was girls, relationships sex or other things of this nature. Due to the recent events, and I only see him virtually on a monthly basis, that such subject was brought up. The day before, I brought this up to my friend whose doing respite, who formerly worked at my day program as a DSP. Both agreed the approach and my respite pal was agreeing that the only way to flirt is trial by error. This is unfortunately the situation so many are in.
The Ongoing Story of Your’s Truly and a #WindsorGirl
I have discussed this girl since my first run in with this apparent sales associate Windsor – that chain boutique store at an area mall. Stories with Cuties At Malls have lead to dead ends, especially when seasons changed, almost literally. In fact, I got word in my second encounter she may end in a similar way unless I get more creative and and to chase her out of their doors! The story featured here doesn’t just take place at the mall, it goes back to the situations with my family since the spring. People who know me the closest should not be surprised I am really “Shopping for a Cutie”.
These narratives also should be a guideline on how to flirt appropriately with the presumed opposite gender that is female as apparently autistics are incels! I do not take any responsibility for others using my advice improperly. I outline explicitly how to get a girl to truly like you for both your feminine sympathy and some masculine energy.
In fact there is a video on this as a theory I posted half way between the first time I saw her, and the second time, which was over a month and a half apart!
There’s a lot of risk taking, just socializing with anyone is a risk, let alone opening up. it wasn’t even ten years or so ago, where guy going in a predominately female boutique store would be considered to be a creep factor. Young women from that time, would have their guards up. Flirting in even the sexual sense can be done without even being implicit, making a girl happy is what matters. I will explain this on each instance this girl is the subject.
The Windsor girl is cute, but her personality was as important as her looks. For all I know she has a boyfriend, or she may just engage on the surface. This story might be the end as I think it may be developing.
Aging is Not Cool – It’s So Depressing
I don’t like the fact of aging or being in second-hand aging. I remember my gram in her 50s and seeing things that I won’t share here, seem to be repeating with my mother. But my mother acts like she’s more like 70 (which is more common in Gen X for sure, I know too many of these ladies leaving 40 thinking they’re going to drop dead.
For me this is extremely emotionally taxing and very depressing, because any of my remaining youth and if a lack of any innocence remaining means I will have to be the caretaker of my mother sooner than later, which means I must sacrifice my own identity of potentially raising my own kids.
The rhetoric of “time flies” or “remember when?” or the typical menopausal woman-speak just gets so tiring. it’s almost as if they get more narcissistic as they age. The manosphere/red-pill crowds encourage procreation so their own offsprings and wipe their asses off when they get old. Wait isn’t being married to someone supposed to be doing that too? By those evil men says kids should be born to burry their parents is so demoralizing.
I know that 1/2 your age plus 7 is extremely controversial, but there is no one my own age, so why should I be blamed for at least trying to find someone that is at least above legal age and at least by this point born around the millennia to find a happy relationship? I am pushing for a Young, Cute and Sexy female in my life and a YCS figure that comes to mind is like that brunette, whose just as tall as me, skinny with a size small frame, whose so happy and jolly. She’s at least 13 years younger than I. But what am I supposed to do? All the millennials are not available that almost all of them are emotionally unavailable.
By going with someone reasonably younger, you can extend the menopausal time by at least 25 years, god willing!
Old people make me sad, makes me have to feel for them, and they’re an anchor to other people’s happiness. It’s getting to me.
Taurus Mother, (I don’t Take Astrology Literally… Only When Necessary)
Part two of a previous narrative
I know other people who are Taurus too, and they live on their astrology, but the irony was I would bitch about my Taurus mother to the Taurus support staff then I’d rather her to my Taurus mother, which was almost like I was living a threesome!
It’s not really funny when you live in it. It’s not to say as a Pisces I do the same stuff, but I would argue its a state vs. situational. I could be a hot head if I deal with the same sons of bitches that don’t get me, but if I indulge, I try to be responsible. In this magnet I found at Newbury Comics, all listed descriptors described my mother, and again not that I take astrology literally, only when it hits you.
“Hangry Dinner” (Mother Bitching and Refusing to Take Stock)
Our conflict has been known early on as “typical adolescent/parent” dynamics according to “Doctor” Teresa Bolick. Now I look back and saw through the implicit bias against the hiarchial child. For years I’ve been drilled in the “go with the flow” logic when “zigger-zaggers” happened with scheduling. I felt for so many years I’d be pulled by strings and was unable to think for myself because my mother did all the instructing, I mean “programming” me.
She keeps on prodding things down my throat. Such as my mattress and pillows where I cling onto it longer than it needs to be. I guess I’ll be going to Bob’s Furniture sometime soon. But apparently it smells and I know it’s not the first time, but then my mother will then dilute the argument and say she has the same thing. But she had to throw the pillows into the smelly mix narrative today. Ok, I get it, but I won’t tell her why I don’t because she’ll dismiss my reasonings. I should’ve washed the pillows in some capacity during it’s over used life. But I am tired of being controlled because I had been disabled to think for myself.
I bought burgers more than a couple weeks ago, and bought onions and lettuce (yes I am trying to eat greens!) and that was delayed, delayed and delayed because my mother was concerned she had to seriously clean the grill, then she got a some stomach virus and so it got delayed to lunchtime today, then it got delayed until 5:00 pm because she was working through the lunch at home.
Then I got jostled in the brain when I was about to cut the onions and lettuce on the stove to which I said “Jimmy Crickets” (the other name in vein) which triggered her and I admittedly said out of the blue that I was disoriented and didn’t applause at that point. I already apologized for not closing an internal drawer in the fridge no less than a minute before.
After getting doused in gaslighting, after the burgers were cooked, I suggested we eat by the pool. While I savored the meal, I heard my mother moan and bitch about work today and her Teams call she had to be downstairs for. She was moaning and bitching about how one co worker was out but the boss wanted everyone else to be on the call, then bitched about some form of in house survey conducted while my mother was on bereavement leave, but never realized that the reason why she missed it was because she was not monitoring emails. I asked one challenging question to her theory of mind, of which I can’t even remember. I let her bitch, but of course if I do the same, I expect the masculine “fix” approach of generic advice that wasn’t solicited for.
More in part 2.