DSP Awards…(More Politiziation)

In about an hour (checks the Apple Watch), the Direct Support Professional Awards will be held at the State House Lawn. In the past, it would be held somewhere else. But for all those summer lovin’ folks, you’ll be happy, it will probably be in the 70s with abundant sun in downtown Concord.

But I wonder if this is dog-whistles of forced “community based” environment by supporting support professionals literally out in the community? Moreover, are they trying to send a political message to the Governor’s office and/or any General Court lawmaker who could be near the premises?

Pushing people out into the wilderness known as society, in the community – for some people with disabilities is just asking for trouble. For me I have had a record of bad experiences on my own, mind you. I wonder if the organizers are choosing to turn a blind eye to what could be going on with the clients, waiting, waiting, and waiting for their next activity or that some DSPs tend to get free time for errands by having a client tag along with them? Or how some clients are not really allowed to do anything they want, but are “challenged” or “persuaded” to do something different?

I just coincidentally came to age as the system got progressively worse, from the early 1990s to I’d say 2015; it was extremely agressive in a really regressive manner, the trauma of the 3 months in the so-called “traditional day services” was a problem, but seeing the full turnkey to “[fully and all the time being in] Community Based Supports” has been in ingredient for disaster, that no activist group or agency has admitted publicly how bad some of this “implementation” has been. Disability rights has gotten so politicized in the last 15 years. Who benefits? The “adults” in the room who are extremely immature.

What’s the difference between a DSP and someone in show business? Not much, both require massive amounts of ego. And if you’re allergic to ego, well appreciate that you haven’t died yet from all the reckless rhetoric from these people

Why I “Broadcast” Self-Desperation and how people cover their a-es

In September of last year, I reached out to a former day program manager’s personal iPhone number who was at that point considered to be a natural support. That individual ghosted-me and never had contact with me. After leaving a message of the tone described in the video, and a year went by after the two unit police welfare check… I realized what really happened.

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The Fall Mayhem (New Service Agreement)

That annual paperwork, contract, it may depend on locale, but in New Hampshire for 21+ folks, it’s called a Service Agreement (since autism isn’t just for lost-little-boys; this is not an IEP portal.)

My case management is better than what I had a few years ago. It’s not to say I need to be careful.

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Men Scare Me… Part Six

Jordan Peterson recently had a discussion on narcissism with Generation Z (also known as iGen), sometimes referred to the Millennial Generation as well. The episode interviews an expert on this generation and the narcissistic outcomes that social media brought…

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Almost 3 Years of Boundaries… Where have things gone?

In early 2020, I started to develop the skills naturally to combat against a state full of narcissistic types, that is New Hampshire. The people who are typical and Caucasian really do feel like they can “Live Free or Die” and if you’re atypical then it’s literally Live Free or End your Own Life (just don’t post this on Facebook because they can put you in Facebook-jail for implying self-harm – to you!)

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Where’s my mother?

If I had to point to a lineup to identify my mother, I wouldn’t be able to.

Nor can I identify her presently. I am not sure who my “real” mother is but I am lonely and confused, but such fuzzy memories of being a toddler has since vanished in reality.

The other day, my mother was supposed to go to work up in Manchester, but overslept (which was highly ironic because MNF ended early, for a Monday Night standard, 11:10 ET if you are keeping tabs.) So I was expecting to do some work in the basement to tidy up the place because I have too much crap and not enough time to do anything w/ them.

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The Traumatic Experience of a Clustereff Family (Enmeshment)

In 2019, I met some of my paternal family members, about a year after they found me on Facebook, two of the aunts. My father had never told the family about me, like my two half siblings of which he never spoke to them. May I say the sisters are closer to my age. As a result the oldest sister was under the impression that she was the oldest child and therefore gawd forbid your’s truly apparently knocked her off the pedestal in a March 2019 post of the reunion; but I had the class to use the hashtag #firstgrandchild because it was a) a fact and b) that sister is the first granddaughter, so WTF, right?

I realized that my paternal grandmother was this close to cheating death with a rare cancer. The family waited to an autistic blow up of yours truly (that if they would be open to say in the first place), that sign #1 was that they don’t see age in the grandchildren. The youngest grandchild is close to 16, while I’m the oldest (35.) The boundaries are, don’t tell the literal “children” about her condition, not even a yea or nay or any one liner at all. Maybe that’s a thing between us – the hierarchal children – and my paternal grandmother. This is the problem, selective boundaries to enhance control.

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Family Units Hurting Autistics… (The things HFAs Refuse to Discuss)

High Functioning Assholes that like to flag people that don’t agree to their personal prejudices as ableist will turn the other side to see what really goes on to the non verbal, consensual types that come off lower functioning.

Autism is such an identity to a family unit from a few that I know. It’s really tragic. I see one acquaintance on Facebook (whom I am not friends with on the platform) with their younger sibling on the spectrum by a couple of years.) The individual is 33, but seems to be that sibling taking control of their life. It’s almost as if the parents go, that individual will be the primary care taker. I repeat this a million times, why the hell do hierarchal children have to be the primary care taker of an autistic? Why are you keeping the scope so damn tight? WHY?

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Narcissistic People with ANY AGE and ANY TYPE are DANGEROUS!

UPDATED AUGUST 9th, 2022: To reflect an insert of a bulleted paragraph near the end of the post

Amongst the self-admired stereotypes, narcissism is a personality defect in the inability to self-reflect and go home and think about what they have done. Like how the teachers at Seacoast Learning Collaborative in Brentwood, New Hampshire would murder my soul on a daily basis, and go home and wash their hands like nothing ever happened; or when they would children, kiss their kids to sleep and not realize they were stone cold :  (because if they were a man, they’d be an asshole.)

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Video: Being Bissell’d

This is the first experience since my day program where I had witnessed fingerprints of narcissistic abuse in the communal side of the special needs system in my state. (Meaning they are not directly involved with “the system”. Regardless, it further validated that people with special needs are more likely exposed to toxic people and getting sucked as you’ll see in the video.

P.S. there was no pun intended for using “sucks” later on in the video. 🙂