“I’d Rather Have 10 Meaningful Friends Than…”

20 to 25 acquaintances that claim to “always be there”.

I have roughly 36 contacts, they are all professional. I lied there’s 1 or 2 that’s it! To establish LTRs for friends in my life has been a challenge, and even though it’s always been perceived as my fault, there’s nuances that show the other side is worse than a stereotypical autistic.In fact I’ve had more “narc” friends than I have with people who were truly empathic. By the way “narc” that rhymes with “mark” just the diff is there’s an “N” that is short for narcissists.

These are the people I didn’t ask to to be in my life, but these are the groups of people I have no choice being around. I don’t get why narcs are drawn to us. Are we easy bait?

Acquaintances are not as flexible as what friends are. Acquaintances lack the ability to be casssh, and “Facebook-friends” are just no different, worse they are sucking your vulernabilities you post on the platform; as a feedback loop for their own empowerment, that you’re not allowed to have. “Friends” can have deeper meaning, because apparently “autistics can’t have nice things“, the running issue is I can’t seem to get a lucky break in the last decade.

All this shit that people like to preach about the “true meaning” of friends, I’ll say this, I will refuse to listen to advice ever again to any “expert” who thinks they know everything about my condition. For this kind of stuff to continue to circulate with thousands of more narcs continuing to rape the system; the only way to recover is to identify who you’re looking for and that’s the only way to get out.

People may say Laconia is closed, but Laconia still to this day exists in a more worse fashion, through being isolated, clients being routinely gaslit, and being forced to be seen and not heard in the so-called “community“. And all I can say is, just look at the hundreds of post from the last decade and not deny that what I say can be at least 49% true…No. Well GTFO this page then!

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Catfish

Has anyone seen the TV series Catfish on MTV?
I channel surfed the other night can ran into that program
The show is like a documentary following people who met others online (i.e. a online relationship.) The host meets with the skeptical party member, and goes to search for the other individual, to see if the other end the person is a total fake. The host of the program will start off by looking the profile on the respective website whether its Facebook, MySpace, etc. and if there seems to be a fakeness on the profile, the producers start to look them up elsewheres.
This program meets with the crossroads of To Catch a Predator when they go to meet or ambush the person of interest. Some of these cases were the partner lied about their identity, their location, their looks, in some cases they were cheating with another person.
The last episode I seen had a guy meeting a girl online. This girl, named Melissa who appeared online, billed herself as a pretty blond “Barbie Girl” (in her words) with blond hair and blue eyes, as the skeptical partner found out she was a curvy, brunette with brown eyes and all the other attributes turned out to be opposite. Near the end of the program, the two try to come to terms.
In other episodes, its a teardripper because of the sudden reality that their online relationship was a fluke.
Has anyone else watched this program? I’m going to watch some of these OnDemand, if its on there. Its an interesting program.

The Roadmap for this Blog

So to refresh some people, I created an organizational chart of how this blog came to be to what is now to what the future is.
This purpose of this blog was to focus on deeper issues about relationships from the eyes of someone with autism. This blog had to be spunoff from my other blog to to that. My other blog has been very popular for people searching for answers like

These results often come on my search metrics every day. And any of those pages that get indexed doesn’t have answers. They are called “Unanswered Questions.”
So this publisher want’s to get really deep on various issues that would needed to be spunoff from the mothership blog. Here is the organizational roadmap of what this blog came to be, and what its future might be.
an image of the roadmap of the two blogs
Originally there was not an end target. The blog was going to just stories of observations of my life of how I saw love, friends, acquaintances, various degrees of relationships and then some.
As this past month went by, I started to loose patience. I am 25 years old, and fell off a cliff right on my 21st birthday. It will also be 5 years since I had a last job! I’ve also realized that my current programs doesn’t have what I need because its not in development yet, but at the same time the current social skills lessons are okie dokie with no issues. I have barely gotten into any romantic relationships, and I will admit I have sorta kissed some girls more than I have ever been kissed by someone outside my family! Never mind I can’t remember the last time I held hands, the last time I hugged a girl/lady, and I have never been able to get into any relationships where I could go all touchy, and into a sexual relationship of some sorts. I don’t want to sound harsh, but you know there aren’t that many single 25+ as time goes by, and you know a girl peaks in her sexual attraction about this time.  Never mind , the social norms of not wearing mini skirts, short shorts and other things after a certain age too.  My own hormones are starting to loose its youth too!
With that said, a new feature called a Countdown appeared after realizing the last 2 years of what my realistic future will become. Read The Tell All, and  it explains what I went through. Realizing that I really don’t have much of a future, by the beginning of next year, I am abstaining from any socialization, after 5 years of making it a priority.  This component will merge into The Forgotten Autistic as other issues will merge to the 12-31-12 deadline of giving up hope for any futures other than to work ones ass off.
So that’s how this blog became and will become.

Faux “Friends”

I have mentioned earlier about how some of my “friends” made a massive fail in the last couple of years. I realized that some of the handful of friends preferred the “cyber” relationship, using ether the social networking sites or using the instant messaging client. One incident was nearly 2 years ago, before I moved to my new town, and one of my pals had asked me about some event that was going to happen about the time I had seen this individual. She asked me “did you get the invite?” referring to a Facebook invite request. I had told her that I had purged my Facebook account (and no, not “deactivate” as some think thats how you close a Facebook account down) and I was just tired of using it.
Now an alleged “true friend” would follow up (especially if you are theoretically close to that individual) ether by looking me up (you know you have to use the search function when you have 600 “friends”) or go the old fashioned way of oh I dunno, EMAIL or dare I say my 10-digit cell number?
This individual is hack, she cheated her way through being a high school teacher thanks to loopholes of the law, and being a union employee and using her “dyslexia” as her “disability” you get fruitcakes like her not screwing students with their ignorance, you get fruitcakes being a lazy-ass not trying to go a little beyond her abilities to follow up on this invite to her “friend”.
I just can’t stand people who can’t even remember one’s birthday. I think it bothers me because my birthday had been forgotten and I never got full attention outside of my family. That same year, I hid my birthday to private, leading to that day. I put it to private that evening, and I got electronic wishes from my alleged “friends.”
I don’t use Facebook because I don’t have “real” friends, and I feel using Facebook for just catching up with “acquaintances” is just useless. And would you think using Facebook just to post pictures of you behind the camera and posting things that are probably useless only to you would seem to be odd or just waste of ones time?
Politically, Facebook drives me nuts, they are taking the stuff you post and using it against you to the advertisers without your knowledge. I am not going to discuss whether or not posting pictures of one being wasted is or is not appropriate, its their own issue, not mine or yours for that manner. My issue is I can’t stand a company getting away of doing bad things and a “free market” being abused. Granted, I feel that I have to use it to reach a broader audience maintaining the Facebook pages for my two blogs.

“Can I be your [Facebook] friend?”

Well that depends on you level of the relations with that person.
At a really young age of about 18, I saw the smoke through the mirrors. That was back when MySpace was ruling the world while Friendster was on life support and Facebook was still known to the privileged elite. I knew that a “friend” on a social networking website was kinda like a Rolodex card or a “contact” according to LinkedIn.
I was setting my self up for realistic expectations. My MySpace had up to 20 “friends” partially because many went over to Facebook and by the height of my original Facebook account, I had up to 40 “friends” or “contacts”. Some didn’t friend me for reasons I have no idea, because my other friends were “friends” of various people. Even old elementary school teachers were too chicken. This was after I was 21. Wasn’t a student. Was it because I was too nasty in the past via the internet communication?
I knew when I “friended” some of my old classmates from my old town, I knew that I wouldn’t ever meet them in person again. Because I stopped seeing them once I left out of district, and you know how perceptions change as people progress and evolve.
However, the normal (or “nerotypical”) groups are the really socially demented ones. They brag about their friend count (some in the low to mid thousands!) and they are the actual “fake” ones with a “real” or “full name”. Their default pictures often  glamorize their shallow life. So I ask why is it ok for them  to be “fake” and demented while people like me who have socially awkward problems are the ones that shouldn’t be shunned? People tell me that they believe that I am a real person so why are these “fake” people getting enabled to be a plastic drama queen?
Never mind rich families (don’t matter if you are a republican Wingnut or a democratic Moonbat – because both are arrogant) that have enabled their children to give negative stereotypes of people of developmental disorders or disabilities. So if you try to friend a girl (sorry for the sexism) on Facebook, if they see your profile they may just get scared of you because they are afraid of unknown.
I’ve been burned of what I thought were my real-life “friends” that I tried to retain on Facebook as well (what’s wrong having an offline/online balance? there shouldn’t be) though in fact they treated me as a virtual person and had severely betrayed me. I had to cut these allegedly “important” people out of my life and the last year and a half after was the most painful social (in)experiences in recent memory before that leaving my local middle school and suddenly loosing contact of what were elementary “friends” a year before.
So between relationship levels, “social pyramids”, statuses, and privileged statuses, Facebook has not been successful in the last couple of years. Because I am not good for those “friends”. Simply I am a pile of dirt until I have to prove the higher social levels that I am good enough to be in their social clique.
That might had been a vague paragraph, but this is how the ellitests on autism teach (or preach) upon these individuals like moi. We have to THINK. THINK about how I am related to this friend, THINK what social level I am with, ARE these people ok to go out outside the packet-based world? ARE these people close enough to talk about various issues, should I THINK in case I screw up, if I might get pressed charges for being a creep?
These are the many “social” baggages I carry every day thanks to a small group of people making me feel useless. Or maybe I didn’t listen because I have esteem issues. I don’t know now. All I know is I am “socially” confused. This is why this blog exists.

The best way to socially network…

is to click on log out
 
This screengrab of the logout link on Facebook was taken a few years ago (I thought I had one with the cursor pointing to it) after noticing my alleged “friends” really wasn’t paying attention to me but their other “friends”. They could’ve cared less about my stuff I put up and engaging more but I ether wasn’t good enough or I might not have the best packet-based presence as opposed to the offline presence.