Tag Archives: “Friends”

“I’d Rather Have 10 Meaningful Friends Than…”

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20 to 25 acquaintances that claim to “always be there”.

I have roughly 36 contacts, they are all professional. I lied there’s 1 or 2 that’s it! To establish LTRs for friends in my life has been a challenge, and even though it’s always been perceived as my fault, there’s nuances that show the other side is worse than a stereotypical autistic.In fact I’ve had more “narc” friends than I have with people who were truly empathic. By the way “narc” that rhymes with “mark” just the diff is there’s an “N” that is short for narcissists.

These are the people I didn’t ask to to be in my life, but these are the groups of people I have no choice being around. I don’t get why narcs are drawn to us. Are we easy bait?

Acquaintances are not as flexible as what friends are. Acquaintances lack the ability to be casssh, and “Facebook-friends” are just no different, worse they are sucking your vulernabilities you post on the platform; as a feedback loop for their own empowerment, that you’re not allowed to have. “Friends” can have deeper meaning, because apparently “autistics can’t have nice things“, the running issue is I can’t seem to get a lucky break in the last decade.

All this shit that people like to preach about the “true meaning” of friends, I’ll say this, I will refuse to listen to advice ever again to any “expert” who thinks they know everything about my condition. For this kind of stuff to continue to circulate with thousands of more narcs continuing to rape the system; the only way to recover is to identify who you’re looking for and that’s the only way to get out.

People may say Laconia is closed, but Laconia still to this day exists in a more worse fashion, through being isolated, clients being routinely gaslit, and being forced to be seen and not heard in the so-called “community“. And all I can say is, just look at the hundreds of post from the last decade and not deny that what I say can be at least 49% true…No. Well GTFO this page then!

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The Obsession (From Others) on Being Around “Peers”

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Among the many things drilled upon me was the obsession on “peers”, typical minded people in my age group, quoted in some ways from the then-head of the Bureau of Developmental Services at the state’s Department of Health and Human Services aprox. 2014.

Many of these hacks really are like big government box checkers; that do not go on the frontlines. In this state where it’s libertarian and conservative, they are sure as hell authoritative and significant boundaries between the bureaucrats and the individuals; and that’s why I put them under “authoritative”. I call these hacks more like formal virgins who haven’t experienced life because they talk so much like a lawyer.

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“Boundaries”… not the victims of NPD… but Regulations…

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Late 2019

I started to see a change in my day program that I didn’t like seeing. This program is for adults 21 to basically death. This program does not take in anyone from birth to 3. Obviously the local Special Education depts take care of the developmentally delayed population. But the regulations that laid the eggs dating to the creation of The Hopeless Autistic started to roost by the turn of the decade. Because 2020 was the year of implementing “regulations” and compliance. The last day program I attended was probably the last one that had to implement the so-called “changes”.

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Relationships w/ Redundancies & Independencies

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Today’s post can easily be taken as a business, technological or investment advice, but actually – it has to do with relationships.
I come from a small, but pretty tight knit family. That on the piece of paper might sound sexy, but in the reality in the bigger picture, and as time goes on is actually bad.
My mother had me more than 2 decades ago and basically has said on a number of occasions that I was the “best thing that happened to” her. Ok that’s nice and flattering, but that same mentality that went into my childhood, into my teenage years and into my adulthood sorry looses its relevancy. Why? Because my mother has admitted recently that she overprotected me. Factor that, and knowing my father was absent in my life then my mother loosing her high school friend, I guess she started to build her life around me. Then basically my life was built around my mother.
Is there something wrong in that picture?
The answer is “yes.”
As you probably learned in school if you are around my age, you are not supposed to be overly reliant on anyone, or depend on someone to love you or to live them. You shouldn’t be spending your entire life around one person and revolve around you two ether.
What if something happened to your family member, or even your loved one? I knew a guy who worked in my school who actually lost his wife unexpectedly. They went to lunch and said goodbye and I love yous and then got a telephone call from a hospital that she died (something like a heart attack.) He actually got so depressed he actually went psycho. I don’t know what happened to him. My school I used to go to doesn’t employ any of the staff I was close with anymore. They are all elsewheres in life. Anyways He was kinda chickie like guy, depending on his wife to do everything.
Ok, enough with independency what about redundancy?
You should never have just a first tier of social circles. It’s just like baseball or football, you should have second or third stringers and make sure those stringers have enough experience on the field just in case the first tier fails.  Can I say Tom Brady? You’d know what I am talking about If you have watched a few New England Patriots games.
For example: instead not just having one friend, or one BFF; take into consideration to have maybe two or three.  The average in my household is actually 2 – too me that’s unhealthy, but it shouldn’t be like 500 ether. Maybe 6 would be the best. Redundancies come into play in case one of your friends gets too tied up with a girlfriend or a wife, someone getting knocked up and then has to put 100% attention to the kid till s/hes 18, or even a job can distract someone.  By spreading out the risk to other people who might not be in a similar situation is strongly recommended. This requires your social circle to be as diverse and fault tolerant as possible – which goes to your advantage.
Having multiple levels of relationships and levels of backup and social failovers are the best way you can live your life healthily. It’s the same of putting too many eggs in one basket, or a Swiss Army Friend, they can do a lot, but if that one fails, then you might fail as well.

Busy bodies and busy Relationships

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It’s rather interesting how people today are lacking relationship skills and not just social skills ether.  I blame this on airplanes, the Web and just the acceptation that its okay to screw someone and jump around jobs like its no ones business.
I’ve been using Match.com for nearly a couple of months and I do not like to engage a user that lives in New Hampshire but lived in Colorado for a decade or someone who lives in Boston who came from the Midwest and loves everything about Boston. Simply, I know there is more to New England than the City itself. I love Springfield, Hartford, Providence, Burlington, and Worcester! Isn’t that a surprise!
(Of course, I withheld Portland or Augusta because Maine sucks – I’ve  been there enough to say they are weirdos and hicks – that’s why I don’t visit there that often!)
I digress.
However, this kind of busy lifestyles doesn’t work well with someone who has difficulty transitioning from one place to another. I rarely moved in my lifetime, only about 3 or 4 miles of where I spent most of my first 23 years of my life. When I was 23, it was about 12 or so miles that I moved from the previous town I lived in.
The problem in three words? Lack of  Loyalty.
I grew up in New Hampshire, and traveled around the region, I wouldn’t trade this area for anywhere else. I have some, and I say some pride of where I live. Many of my peer groups does not have such level of some respect.
And this to me is a problem. The Millennial generation (i.e. the synthetically autistic types) are still acting like teenagers as some in this generation are 36 years old. For some reason we have allowed the vast majority of the normal functioning population to act like autistics while my group are expected to function as normal as possible. Which explains why marriage is much later and having children at a later age is happening. Dare I say having a child in their 30s can cause birth defects or even disabilities like autism. Even worse north of 40? These childish people are relying on unreliable technology to have children at a later age.
Again, I am probably making a low educated opinion on this, but craved stability since middle school. Even when I rarely moved physically, I went to several schools in almost every 2 years.  The staff in the schools had a very short shelflife too. Again, they were the twentysomethings figuring their lives out with the most mission critical job required of such lack of responsibilities. On top of the very young age, the other excuse was “they need to start somewhere”.

I feel sometimes I’ve worked in the local TV news business, when one’s job security (historically) was lot worse than other jobs like working in the public sector, the phone company, or corporate jobs, and if someone got randomly fired, their career in TV news was actually “cursed”.  The Special Education world worked much like a particular Boston news station, and to use such analogy is pretty pathetic. Because no individual should feel like their classroom is a newsroom of a revolving doors of producers (teachers) or director (executive management) while the child (student) is like the viewer witnessing dysfunctional news operation.

Though I feel that loyalty the lack thereof is a roadblock to future relationships for me. How can I get “locked into” a relationship if the girl wants to move to California or Houston or some other random place in 2 years?
I can’t live such life anymore. I can’t imagine anyone living like that.

Friends, Girlfriends and Relationships

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As you know – when it comes to almost any type of relationships – for me, its Greek, a foreign language. That’s why there is a blog about relationships published by yours truly!
Some of this has to do with conflicting social protocols. What am I talking about? I’m talking about when a friend of your’s gets into “A Relationship”. I’ve heard from many people that when someone gets a boy or girlfriend their relationships around them start to shutter. Supposedly, they spend a lot of time with their girlfriend, or Significant Other (S.O.)
I cannot personally confirm this since I, myself have never been in any romantic relationships.
What I do know is this: when someone enters into any romantic relationship – they shouldn’t be shuttering the other relationships they had prior to. To me when one falls in love, they become selfish, lack of respect to their friends (dare I say “single” friends) and the whole relationship with the friend changes. Can I say narcissistic?
In today’s society we have already accepted the fact that we can’t fight the mass numbers of selfish, self entitled, narcissistic, me, me, me types.  I have had to deal with these types for so many years, and sadly I have settled to accept the fact that there really aren’t that many caring people to begin with, worse when they become in love.
I can’t run away from the puzzling world of relationships, can’t I?

The Breakup of my Nero Peers

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In recent years, i have severed ties with any of my friends of my schools I went to. they were all special needs, almost all of them on some form of the autism disorders, some were Down’s. The reason why I had to was the following

  • They had social problems, more obvious than mine, because I tried to hide it
  • They were needy, or looked like they couldn’t be as independent compared to normal people
  • They lived in “ghetto” neghiboods like Lawrence, Haverhill or Lowell, Lawrence typically is the most “ghetto” outside of Boston
  • They were on the lowest end of the social economic scale. Not saying it was wrong, but many were on welfare – which puts them on the lowest end of the pole. They never had a consistent telephone number, they could never remember their password to their email address, and because of that, they needed another Facebook account to access it

Now, I must be an oxymoron because I feel like I been looked down by the upper middle class, but this case is different. The reasons I just explained would make someone like me “weaker” than them. Now an argument could be made, well they might perceive me as a “normal” guy; but that’s pressuring to deal with that perception. I also had problems on Facebook with some of these people befriending people they didn’t know on my other side of the “normal” social circle of mine – of which put my reputation at risk.
It was hard to do, but I don’t hold any regrets. These people held me back instead of moving forward. For me to try to at least have a fair shot, this was the best option. I don’t hold any regrets.

Birthday

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My birthday is near and in the coming weeks I will be 26 years of age. It will be the 5 year mark where I had turned 21 and finished school on the same day. It is very scary to think how in half a decade how I have fallen apart and came to a hard realization about how I have to accept my differences, and accept my future outlooks in life. (I think you know its really about “relationships”.)
I don’t talk like I used to because I am tired of talking to slight egomaniacs. I am tired of hearing someone’s “honest” or someone pushing an agenda on me. I might be venting a little about my mother, but that’s really besides my point.
I am asking for much this year, nor do I really give a shit about it ether. As I wrote in last October, about my struggles of people remembering my birthday; I’ve just accepted the fact “its just another day”. That happened last year, I went on a trip to the mountains after doing some shopping at the state’s surplus agency getting networking gear. I brushed off the the 25th anniversary of my existence.
I am not happy about the big two-six. And this isn’t just the normal PDD obsession leading to one’s bday.  It’s actually worse.
I realize I won’t be happy. Its not because I choose not to, its because I am forced to not be happy. The leadership on the ASD self-interest has effectively slandered my group, and has effectively committed uncriminal behavior like psychological ID theft. These goddamned sons of bitches have forced me to grow up faster than my peers (since it is “normal” to still act like an adolescent at 35 years old, if you don’t have a disability) and yet these same sons – of  – bitches treat people like me as crap when they aren’t “on the clock”. These people insist we work for some corporation and be highly accountable at all times.
These freckin bastards also believe we should only fall in love in our own peer group. I’m talking about the PDD group. As you already know (I assume) the numbers of PDD male to female ratio is about 4 out of 5 male to female. I probably would say 3 out of 5 are females, since I see more of them in the adult services than I have seen in the special education. But still, I am put at a disadvantage.
My only wishes for my birthday is:

  1. Please, I ask the middle age women, who are ugly, bitter and hateful people  who act exactly the same as I just described: to stop acting as advocates for special needs! I also understand you might have an empty nest syndrome, but just stop saying for one example that autistic people can’t fall in love. DO NOT slander these people in private workshops BY CLEARLY saying its “not appropriate ” for us to attend when I feel you will painting EVERYONE with PDD with the most thickest brush to exist! Especially when WE STRUGGLE (in some cases for unneeded purposes) with RELATIONSHIPS and recklessly plan such workshop on mother fuckin’ VALENTINE’S DAY! It is your peers that have made me so mad and sad and not glad that the only life I can have is to be a fucking slave!I stand by my “fucking” beliefs, because you force me to use such needed coarse language! 
  2. I want people to LISTEN. Especially WOMEN! I don’t give a shit you have a cunt and tits, to me its sexist for me to expect me to listen to you and its fine for you not to listen to me and go off and talk, talk and talk and push your egomaniac agenda. If you want to be treated like everyone else, you have to not label yourself and act like everyone else, and sadly in this case men. (I hate using gender/age specific language, but it is these overeducated punks from Harvard, and other Middlesex County, Mass like regions around the world that unnecessarily done this reversed sexism!)
  3. As narrow-minded and possibly sexist and racist as it is, I would love to have a woman to be my romantic mate. (I can’t say “girlfriend” without being charged for “hate speech” because you can’t say a “girl” to a “woman”.) Therefore, I would like to have an adult female companion  I should just say, look into a slow relationship. For all I could know, having a romantic relationship may not work at all, and I could’ve wasted 10 years for nothing!
  4. The “experts” need to get their head out of their asses. I can’t say this enough. I also ask for paraprofessionals, professionals, teachers and other cold-hearted people between the hours of 9:00 to 5:00 local time to maybe learn that autistic people are just like you, and instead of not having friends in your outside life that are autistic, to maybe give it a chance? I’m not talking about HS aged people or current professional relationships, but have some freckin unity as we desperately need in my country! I only wished I could be integrated with “normal” Latinos, Blacks, Asians and other people of various backgrounds, and not be forced into a group I find is regressive and a group that won’t rightfully go forward according to my social, political and systemic standards.

I’ve realized I have done some bitching, but many punks in my life have no idea what they have done to me, and how its ok to not be accountable of their actions, their words and their actions. It is men with a certain social standard who have wrongfully been abused and used!
I do not hate women! And I mean that. I respect them! They are very caring people, and they have great talents! Younger ladies is rare, thirtysomethings you have better luck I only have a problem when they go on a political or systemic tirade against one social class for no realistic reason in the general population, and get away with it. Sadly, many are near or post menopausal and they generically look ugly, because they act as if they are fat and ugly.  I hate to be so biased, but since ASD and PDD individuals are mostly male, I feel so personally offended to be an adult male because we have to treat women as God.
I only ask to be somewhat happy for my Birthday. But apparently in America that is asking for too much according to all the experts I have to comply since America is now a “1984” society.
P.S. there is one other thing I would want for my birthday. To have more traffic on this blog and more discussions from my readers, because if it weren’t for you (if you even read my blogs) this blog wouldn’t exist.
End of my political/personal rant.

Autistic People Can’t…

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…fall in love
…have intimate relationships
…have any “normal” friends, only their nerological peers
…publish web logs, because typically they write things that aren’t approprite for the public packet-waves
…can’t leave comments on blogs, only failover  to clicking on the “like” button
…have cyber friends
…can’t use dating sites
…can’t meet new people only if they have friends that know new people
..can’t use social networking webstites
…can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t* do anything other than be corporate whores!
(*sorry I guess my Betacam tape got “jammed” inside the deck)
If you found this page and you are trying to get answers, well here is a very direct response.
AUTISTIC PEOPLE CAN’T BE SOCIAL WITHOUT COMING OFF AS RETARDED!
AUTISTICS CAN’T TOUCH A GIRL WITHOUT SIGNING UP FOR A LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER!
AUTISTICS CAN’T REPRODUCE DUE TO SOME UNWRITTEN FEDERAL RESTRICTION
So to answer the question again, Autistics CANNOT FALL IN LOVE OR HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS!

Personal Story: Tiaras, Beauty Queens and Biaches

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I watched the Miss America Pageant on television the other weekend, and the only reason why I did was to see Miss Montana, also known as Alexis Wineman, an 18 year old who has a form of autism, specifically PDD-NOS. Some people speculated she has a form of Asperger Syndrome, but AS is technically not part of the autism spectrum disorder as of this writing. Alexis has mentioned publicly that she suffers with social issues, and has constant meltdowns.

She did pretty well regardless, and of course what you see on camera, can be totally different off camera. That applies for everyone, not for someone whose autistic.

I have to say she’s a beautiful young lady given her autism and her struggles in her early life. There aren’t that many girls with autism and ones that look beautiful.

I digress.

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