Part of an ongoing series
Again on the theme of preventing transactional relationships, I bought an accessory and left not to long later as I didn’t see her, only because that first day was more of the browse, then this day would be the “shop” (I know cash in more time with sales associates!) Again as I have learned, the only way you can test relationships is not to buy anything at every time. For a learned lesson, consult the Buying My Way to Female Affection.
I went to my local Starbucks yesterday and admired this beautiful girl who took my order. I ordered a tall Frappicino because I only had $4 in cash. However it rang over $4, which I had to failover to my credit card. After that, she got all snooty with me.
Don’t defend this girl, don’t give her the benefit of the doubt, because what you’d be doing is defending her!
And you wonder why I have a hard time dealing with girls?
*Don’t take that title the wrong way, that’s why I used the phrase “mind”
In the information technology or information systems world, there is an acronym called PEBCAK or Problem Exists Between the Chair and Keyboard. Sometimes people will call the helpdesk, or submit a ticket electronically, and when the IT or IS admin comes to the user, and the problem can’t be reproduced, they’ll blame the operator, hence PEBCAK.
Turning the analogy around back to the relationships world, I sometimes wonder the reason why I don’t have a social circle is because of me. I am pretty quick to attribute the problem to women. I guess social standards still are against men, that they are the problem, and women they are just perfect.
I have had been told by strangers on the Internet that maybe it’s just my own fault about feeling various ways about romance, girls and then some. I always try to feel considerate to the naysayers (even if they are anonymous.)
But do I have a case, or do I not? Why is it OK for women to badmouth men, but when men do it its socially inappropriate? Why is it ok for girls to bite boys heads off in high school but if a guy does it he gets in trouble?
Is this a reversed double-standard?
I need to take a cold look at myself in the mirror. Maybe I am just bitter for no reason. Maybe I made it up and not realized it. Maybe this view in society was just a very long and bad dream. I should own up any mistakes I have done in blocking my expansion of my social circle.
Afterall, they say that the woman is right, no matter how wrong she could be. Always assume they are right.
Would someone get charged for a Felony if he asked a girl out that he didn’t really know? Would it be just because he doesn’t “look” like the other guys?
This is a very confusing task for someone like me to do. There is of course the many pseudo-science things like “social capital”, “social pyramid” and the other cautious practices, because you know we can’t assume that everyone with a developmental disability would appear to be “normal” because we have to stereotype them as big, fat ugly young men.
And of course we got both men and women professionals or others that have to be skeptical to protect each others safety, the fear of course of the other person complaining against us!
The problem is there isn’t any positive social skills teaching us how to get young ladies, only because there are many excuses such as its not the paraprofessionals’ responsibility of teaching how to hook up with someone, and more excuses. (and I say this gender specifically since many cases of autism and other DDs are 95% males – and of course I feel ashamed sometimes of being a guy since we are easy targets to get bullied by girls.)
I’ve heard the various ideas of places to meet other people like at the grocery store. Sure that’s a great idea – only if you don’t live in a snobby town and most of the people aren’t walking the carts as couples.
The other theoretical suggestion is well maybe flirt with the cashiers. Which makes me question at what point do you go forward? How do you do small talk (I have difficulties NOT because of my autism, but I was trained settle of socializing with snobby people.) How many weeks or months would you suggest to ask her out? What if I found her Facebook profile and she appears to be a bad girl but she acts nice on the clock? Should I assume that shes taken? (since all good looking girls are taken, good girls are taken and bad girls are not)
The logical response to all of this is to just go on Match or some other dating site since in like 30 years you’d look like you grew up in a sheltered life or that you are very old to remember how people met each other before the Web.
I don’t know because I never had any strong support to do so, only the depressing skepticism and skiddish kinda responses. This is how I tackle it: no one would want to date me, to assume that girl is taken, and assume she’s a badass. I don’t make an ass out of u and me, because 99% of my encounters involve with bitches who can’t control her emotions or has some excuse to dislike me. And 1 and 50 occurrences I deal with the opposite gender, I get some positive reaction. And that 1 and 50 cases happen probably 1 in 3 months.
I am simply confused. Trying to find my next best friend should not have to require being taught from someone with a PhD degree and requiring so much freckin structure.
My family doesn’t like dogs. I won’t say they hate them, but they don’t like them. My folks have a strong case of OCD (as well as undiagonsed cases of ASD) and since dogs are dirty and can sometimes be unruly, I have been raised to not really like them.
On my Match.com journey, there are many girls on there who ether have dogs or demand that their date likes dogs. And some of these girls are probably 70% compatible.
Who woulda thunk that “man’s best friend” would be the dealbreaker finding my future best friend? Oh wait, I wasn’t meant to have someone in my life. I was here for my mother and she’ll probably be around till my dying day (gawd willing) since my mother had me young. And I forgot, no “normal” functioning girl wants to date a guy with autism.
Match.com’s app tells me that “women are attracted to confidence.”
Oh really? I have found “confidence” to be arrogance. You know like the ol’ MySpace bumper sticker that said “Confidence… is what makes a girl sexy.” That really should had read “Confidence…is what makes a girl slutty.”
I am so tired of how there is so much standards for men as women can do whatever the fuck she wants and gets away with it whether its her monthly period or her “social capital” or whatever freckin excuse that can make her arrogant.
I have gotten myself locked into another 3 months worth of a subscription to find my future friend forever, but that hasn’t gotten to well. Not that my profile is “negative” you see, its always the girls who tease and want the attention but fail it miserably when an opportunity knocks, on her door you see.
The beginning of the new year (well as early as late September, as I started the “Countdown”) was really a sigh of relief. I realized that the chances of me getting a girlfriend in the near to distant future was going to be pretty low odds. I really don’t see a future for me and romance.I just don’t see it.
While it is so painful dealing with the idea of being single, I’m finding it a good idea. I won’t have to worry about loosing my gf due to a big argument I won’t have to worry about not getting AIDS or another STD, since the sex rates with the suburban girls are probably much higher than one thinks.
I won’t have to worry about getting distracted from the g/f, and I can continue to avoid from social situations since many 26 year olds are often taken, or in a committed relationship. And other 26 year olds often have gone to college, and I don’t.
I won’t have to worry about meeting various demands, since girls require a guy with a University education, and working for some large company taking home at least $45,000 after tax. I won’t have to feel so ashamed living with his mother as girls don’t want a “looser”.
It is best to stay single!
This will be a reoccurring feature from time to time to show you publicly my definition of The Ideal Girl
These pictures were handdrawn, or sketched and enhanced through Photoshop, the latter is a new skill. You’ll see this work throughout this post. Also, the girl is the same, but again, various conditions caused this girl to not look consistent.
Continue reading
I went and searched online why women are skeptical about a couple weeks ago.
This was the result.
Right out of the box, my own blog earlier asking this question came up on the Bing results, as the first hit!
I was searching for other resources because I really don’t get the idea why women have to question things. I don’t know if its a genetic thing or what. The Yahoo Questions was in the context of dating, and why girls are skiddish. That its an obvious answer, they are afraid of being taken advantage in the sexual way. That is interesting, because girls are weird thinking they can come off a as serious person but looking skanky at the same time.
So what about someone like me? Why do women of all types, middle age, young, girls around my age always seem to be generically skeptical? Let me be fair, there are men that can be pretty skeptical too. I felt that such second-guessing or strong skepticism caused me to not be as serious. Its like people judge people guilty until proven innocent, and maybe that’s where I got that logic from.
Skepticism needs to be done at the proper timing, generally questioning someone in my view is like at times being interrogated or even being talked down.
Maybe I am misreading cues, maybe I’ve viewed such skepticism the wrong way. Maybe I just don’t look like I’m questionable because that is something I have dealt with since existence.
Today my chick radar shown a lot of green on the screen!
All across the board, I got some female affection. I went out today, from the local mall, to the local hockey game and in between I got some girls attention!
I got thrown offguard by a couple ladies at one store who appeared to be showing interest. Often this one and a hundred occurrences causes me to get severely shy.
Part of it, was I had a sincere smile, enough to get the the girl to hopefully cave in and return the favor.
Regardless, lets file this little good news, and expect to see a repeating story in like 9 months, since this one and hundred cases have a long spread of time inbetween.