In late 2018, I finally arrived to the litmus test of what would solidify the Hopeless Autistic status from the late 1990s, just a year before the diagnosis was brought to my attention after SHTF.
In a Facebook Messenger thread of school age friend, of which 2 years worth of conversations was actually printed out at 147 pages, for a discovery. Mind you, the only video chat occurred around this time, in late 2018. Millennials really use Facebook for pics and texts.
2023 Note: That book still sells copies 7 years later at the same B&N.
Warning: Bad Language used. Please read with discretion
There’s a book published called Why Men Love Bitches (or something like that.) I found the book a while back at my local Barnes & Noble, and skimmed through it. I took a picture of the cover but can’t seem to find it on my machine or server, but who cares! I don’t remember much of the context; but more on the general message. Or at least if I can remember that as well!
I want to say that I don’t want this site to be all about relationships, but on the same time that subject has been a difficulty that I’ve struggled and still puzzled if that it’s my autism or the world around me that I can’t understand. I know for sure I’ll take a hit for speaking my version of the truth at least in this post…
This Post is All About Lenny and dedicated to him. His struggles deserves its own post. Warning, this may be a tear dripper.
The only single guy featured in this film was on the left coast. Lenny was introduced and closed out the film. Throughout the documentary, what was very striking was how he appears to be overcompensating and trying so hard to be normal.
The first abnormal sign was he wanted to dress up on camera to decide otherwise. (Was he in a work or school program that demanded him to look fancy?) To be honest, I’d rather see him more of Lenny than someone of who he should be. Second he was very determined for being the dominant person, that no female should be stronger or better than him. (Well if he had old fashioned people as his “supports”. Third was how should be in college, making a lot of money so he could take care of his lady. He even is in tuned to the trashy Caucasian ladies by stating to the cameraman at one point that African American ladies are “more independent” and was explaining “interracial relationships”. (You can add every non American woman into the mix as I’ve already discussed before.)
For people new to this site, this documentary aired on PBS in early January, following a 3 plus year project. You can see it here till April or go to iTunes, Google Play, etc and search for “Autism in Love”
A documentary recently ran on PBS earlier this month of an independent documentary entitled Autism In Love. (Running on a host program called Independent Lens.) This project was in the works for at least a few years at least following on social media. After being let down of all the teases, I never followed up, till a recent post on a disability blog came to my attention.
After missing the original airing, I saw it Wednesday on my iPad by accessing it through PBS’ web site. (available through PBS till April 2016)
I have watched this three times since then to try to soak all the emotional, and very touching storylines.
Spoiler alert if you continue to read on.
Most thirtysomethings have someone in their lives, whether it’s a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend/girlfriend boyfriend/boyfriend or even a husband or wife. Well I am not anywhere close to boyfriend material for any girl (at least around my area.) For February, I don’t just feel like a hopeless autistic, but a hopeless romantic too.
The idea of a girlfriend would make socializing easier because you have that “arm candy” or someone to hold hands and commit public sexual harassment laws and kiss in public and touch each other near private parts at professional gatherings. Not that I encourage this, but this is what “everyone else” is doing. Why be the only single person? I don’t feel “special”…
I wrote on my other site last fall when Match.com was spun off by IAC/InterActive Corp (a company with a very bad PR record.) I explain how much Match charges and how I haven’t found a special someone, and how many dating sites to the point the DOJ should break up the company.
I don’t want to sidetrack the discussion on being a “hopeless autistic”, but a reoccurring subject (that I previously wrote on unnamed blog a couple years ago) was on love relevant to the autism spectrum disorder. In 2015, hopeless romantics who also are autistics are very high because
I hope this explains the reason if you see or hear some hopeless autistic also coming off as a hopeless romantic that this may be the reason why.
In 2013, I came to my senses that I’d also be a hopeless romantic. Love and autism doesn’t have to be a complicated relationship status, and sadly the recurring characters such as incompetent psychologists acting as state leaders, inadequate training (fear mongering), and possibly “following the money trail” say IDEA for an example, had a lot to do during my teenage years.
Another update to a deliberate abandoned blog.
I haven’t changed. I remain a hopeless autistic first, hopeless romantic second.
I don’t have much goals for 2015 other than to be in a day program with lower functioning people and be in a work program, enough to please the local DHHS. My mother will continue to suffocate with her excessive love to me where I can’t do anything to my heart’s content, other than being probed and questioned and then have my dreams become “death by a thousand cuts.”
I will, however meet with various doctors to get ether a re diagnosis and/or therapy which I hope they will cite my quirks as my mother is allegedly autistic and maybe they will rip her to shreds.
I have no expectations, other than to feel hopeless, being bitter not by choice but emotion of last resort.
I expect to cry more and more as I reach closer to 30 by a couple of years and to realize I have nothing going forward. I think I may actually become a real life Steve Carrell portrayal of the 40 Year Old Virgin, only 12 years away.
I might write a book. I got the content ready to go. I feel that the broken self I am was damaged by a broken society of people who are so careless and so selfish that their narcissism has broken my view on life.
I don’t invest of my work anymore. I know there isn’t a girl out there for me (because of the lack of parenting, the lack of accountability, etc.) and I know many of my “followers” really don’t care because they never contacted me and replied to this publication.
I’ll close it this way, if relationships were transparent, if there wasn’t autism and if there wasn’t so many pompous ass jerks perverting the perspective of relationships, I wouldn’t be a writer. I’d be a happy guy with a lucky girl and we would rule our own little worlds. But that’s not reality. The reality is what I wrote here a couple years ago, and it hasn’t changed not one bit.
Stay Hopeless and Always Settle for Less.
Steven, the humble publisher.