When Avoidant People Become Avoidable

Avoid is such a “favorite” word of mine, I like to attribute that hatred to people like the Ed Brouders of the world and other Propaganda Artists at the local police departments masquerading as “Public Information Officers” who order to media outlets to “avoid [a road]” instead of leaving the driver clueless and helpless to figure out an alternative route.  Or my favorite one on NHDOT signage is “Expect Delays” – when and how long?

In fact I think that’s why New Hampshire is a dumpster fire, all the damaged children and adult females allow their trauma to replay, and as a result they threw it away and it makes this state stink so badly. I hate my state’s media because it always ties back to the Timesaving New Hampshire Traffic hits of “avoiding Route 3” without any way of learning how to get around it without telling you, because you should know anyways. 

If you are familiar with domestic local media, Shadow Broadcast Services, better known as Shadow Traffic never used such language structures like the former WZID traffic hack. Their traffic reporters always gave you the alternative like holding ones hands without being so authoritative (again Brouder comes to mind YET again.) In recent years stations that used to use Shadow worked in-house at various media outlets around the country. one was New York’s WCBS 880 and their traffic reports in house till the format’s death on August 23rd would use phrase “I’d use the Holland instead” or “better off with using the Triborough” while media outlets closer to home will just say whatever social media feed tells them to repeat, and does WZID still have cell number for reporting traffic? I don’t think so.

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Moving to the Shadows (The Mountain Region)

As promised a couple weeks back, I was going to start a series entitled Moving to the Shadows based on my own experiences of attempting to get out of Southern New Hampshire for a number of reasons, would bring more “hope”. If staying in the Granite State is a must, the best bet is to move to the border regions and into the “shadows”. The two most empathic states per to a Google search was Maine and Vermont, ironically the two least favorite states by me, Connecticut being the first when taking New Hampshire out of the equation, followed by Massachusetts and Rhode Island. Maine or Vermont doesn’t woo me, when I was a kid I chanted “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO FARMER-VERMONT!” Turns out, I wasn’t wrong.

Would I benefit? is there better “supports” in the “community”? Is this the coded messages that the Concord yakkers imply?

I wanted to be methodological if this was to happen. I have written about this before, but things have changed in my life which could cause different outcomes. Reminder, most of this is talking about relocating from an autistic who feels “hopeless”, If you want a typical view of what it’s like to visit the region, read towards the end. I did extensive research and still have an informal plan if I were to go forward with this (spoiler alert: it’s gonna happen.)

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Why I “Broadcast” Self-Desperation and how people cover their a-es

In September of last year, I reached out to a former day program manager’s personal iPhone number who was at that point considered to be a natural support. That individual ghosted-me and never had contact with me. After leaving a message of the tone described in the video, and a year went by after the two unit police welfare check… I realized what really happened.

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The Granite State’s Largest Mental Health Agency that Can’t Do Crap!

Again, leaving names withheld to protect the innocent while not naming the agency in the Well Known Largest City in the 603….my own observations, my own opinions not influenced by anyone. This is one’s observations of a family member with a mental health issue with an early onset of dementia that is outside of the mental health system, that is another type of “dual diagnosis”

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The Crappy Mental Health System in The Granite State

As per to the editorial policy… names, locations, likeness has been redacted to protect the innocent, if you know it, you’re in the area or know the biggest city and do some mental math..

If you thought the DD system was bad… well the mental health system is as bad if not worse…

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Social Gatherings for Autistics to Typicals? Nothing here… move along!

In a undisclosed place I talked about a year ago, a place in Manchester is still sticking to their guns with clinical heavy social skills training and zero one on one support. The last correspondence via email was the top chick, boss-bitch like woman. As usual the reply said “sorry to hear about this” (again what is with Millennials and their lack of native medium sympathy, you cannot “hear” an email to the generation that hates telephony!)

What was her recommendation? Not supported or endorsed, but there’s a speed dating event in Nashua…

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International Women’s Day (New Hampshire and the Hyper Individualized/Independent/Man Hating (RIGHT-WING) Feminists

Welcome to New Hampshire, a state where you’d think it being so extremists, you wouldn’t think that feminism is very popular around dark-red Republican women, and you wonder why they are so skittish? Why is there a fetishizing of victimization? Before I spoil you the details, the video part is here.

If you prefer to hear this in your car audio system, you can visit podcasts.clickfo.me

Re-De with the local DHHS

I am saying this loosely, even for high functioning autistics, people like me need to have benefits… because I am not enough work wise too.

The annual re-determination process (aka re-de) is in August, where my mother has to file the annual paperwork to say I am totally and permanently disabled and we have to supply the state the last checking and savings monthly statement, etc. Because my mother neglected a certain detail that changed this year, I did not get my bi-monthly benefits beginning in September.

my mother tried to call the office one time in early September but because I didn’t fill the consent to talk, it further delayed. We tried calling the office again later in the month and was on hold for nearly 20 minutes.

Despite the Cisco CallManager on-hold music, it got my mother really anxious. My grandmother was dying to be blunt.

Last Wednesday, we went to our local DHHS office, and much to my chagrin, there was no wait, my name was the only one on the digital display, and for all intensive purposes, we were applying for benefits (aka it was like being 18 all over again with the paperwork.) However that part got expietitied because of the long term supports (i.e. my day services connection.) My mother did apply for Food Stamps because other benefits in a re-de last year shrunk because of a misunderstanding of how the funds were supposed to be used.

Obviously, I do not want to share the details, nor embellish it. I do want to say there is some shame living with a pre-existing autistic condition. That’s explained in a follow up phone meeting on Friday.

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I feel so “old”…

Before you people over 55 come of all narc on me and gaslight my perception and project perspective… “35 is nothing, being 65 is worse!”… Let met tell you way I feel this way…

  • NH is the “oldest” state by demographics – 48, 49 or 50. Probably next to Vermont and Maine.
  • By that logic, the “youngest” folks would be a large number – because you were to superimpose the average age of 50, you get the extreme side of people I could be their babysitter, even if I was 18 or 19!
  • Millennials didn’t really grow up here – for someone who grew up in Londonderry in the 1990s, you had some of my peers who were Mass. transplants. Those who spent their first or second grades are back to where they came from. Not to mention there’s more to the world than little ol New Hampshire, a phrase often said by the older generation who remembers the state being as deep as Vermont and Maine.
  • The town I live in, is one the most populated with a very geriatric age – filtering out the ol farts, the youngest people are school age. The closest to thirtysomethings are people who are about 11 to 12 years younger than me! There’s hardly any thirtysomethings in this area.
  • Economic, housing, etc. I don’t believe any of it. I think its a culture that people born between 1977 to 1995 just don’t get. The weather? There’s climate change. Stop bitching about the cold and snow because the data is against your “beliefs”.

It’s just sad to see more people old as my mother or my gram, and people who are teenagers and I am in my mid thirties and I can’t seem to grow, and I regress closer to a twentysomething and somehow no one is realizing how bad that is and how severe this loneliness of lack of similarities can unite us.

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How to Escape from a State of Narcissism

What to do if you live in a state of narcissism? Not moment of a level of it, but one of the fifty U.S. States? I suspect there is over a million people in New Hampshire that have minor or significant fingerprints of NPD. Despite what you hear from Free Staters, this state is not “free” for all. “Freedom” apparently these days lack responsibility and accountability… this wasn’t always the case back 30 something years ago in this state. We have a government, we have other institutions, and they are so authoritative, that it defeats the purpose of freedom or even conservatism. Often these people are unelected, or shouldn’t be. The Town Council where I live is so damn authoritative, they think they are Congress or something like that.

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