Welcome to New Hampshire, a state where you’d think it being so extremists, you wouldn’t think that feminism is very popular around dark-red Republican women, and you wonder why they are so skittish? Why is there a fetishizing of victimization? Before I spoil you the details, the video part is here.
If you prefer to hear this in your car audio system, you can visit podcasts.clickfo.me
I am saying this loosely, even for high functioning autistics, people like me need to have benefits… because I am not enough work wise too.
The annual re-determination process (aka re-de) is in August, where my mother has to file the annual paperwork to say I am totally and permanently disabled and we have to supply the state the last checking and savings monthly statement, etc. Because my mother neglected a certain detail that changed this year, I did not get my bi-monthly benefits beginning in September.
my mother tried to call the office one time in early September but because I didn’t fill the consent to talk, it further delayed. We tried calling the office again later in the month and was on hold for nearly 20 minutes.
Despite the Cisco CallManager on-hold music, it got my mother really anxious. My grandmother was dying to be blunt.
Last Wednesday, we went to our local DHHS office, and much to my chagrin, there was no wait, my name was the only one on the digital display, and for all intensive purposes, we were applying for benefits (aka it was like being 18 all over again with the paperwork.) However that part got expietitied because of the long term supports (i.e. my day services connection.) My mother did apply for Food Stamps because other benefits in a re-de last year shrunk because of a misunderstanding of how the funds were supposed to be used.
Obviously, I do not want to share the details, nor embellish it. I do want to say there is some shame living with a pre-existing autistic condition. That’s explained in a follow up phone meeting on Friday.
Before you people over 55 come of all narc on me and gaslight my perception and project perspective… “35 is nothing, being 65 is worse!”… Let met tell you way I feel this way…
It’s just sad to see more people old as my mother or my gram, and people who are teenagers and I am in my mid thirties and I can’t seem to grow, and I regress closer to a twentysomething and somehow no one is realizing how bad that is and how severe this loneliness of lack of similarities can unite us.
#
What to do if you live in a state of narcissism? Not moment of a level of it, but one of the fifty U.S. States? I suspect there is over a million people in New Hampshire that have minor or significant fingerprints of NPD. Despite what you hear from Free Staters, this state is not “free” for all. “Freedom” apparently these days lack responsibility and accountability… this wasn’t always the case back 30 something years ago in this state. We have a government, we have other institutions, and they are so authoritative, that it defeats the purpose of freedom or even conservatism. Often these people are unelected, or shouldn’t be. The Town Council where I live is so damn authoritative, they think they are Congress or something like that.
Among the many things drilled upon me was the obsession on “peers”, typical minded people in my age group, quoted in some ways from the then-head of the Bureau of Developmental Services at the state’s Department of Health and Human Services aprox. 2014.
Many of these hacks really are like big government box checkers; that do not go on the frontlines. In this state where it’s libertarian and conservative, they are sure as hell authoritative and significant boundaries between the bureaucrats and the individuals; and that’s why I put them under “authoritative”. I call these hacks more like formal virgins who haven’t experienced life because they talk so much like a lawyer.
In 1991, after the Laconia State School closed, the State of New Hampshire did an audit of the system and services for the developmentally delayed. Out of respect for modern day technologies, the original PDF can be seen here, at the expense of your network or cell data plan, This was the time where Macintosh computers were not used by many, so it’s lousy in design quality. The PDF was converted at some point from it’s original DOS-like word processing in 1998, and thanks to RSA 91-a, I am doing you a public service by hosting a lighter version of this PDF because am I a native nerd to the the government affairs, not “obsessed with the system”.
Sadly a lot of the core context in this file has never been addressed. Bill of Rights is kinda the theme here, and sadly the developmental disability system has been audited several times since 1991. But ironically the audits never go back to the original blueprint of the 1991 audit. Sadly I don’t even think our current agencies at the Department of Education or at the Bureau even have this document
Do understand in 1991, there was a dueling thing going on, and that was special education. I entered into Londonderry just months before, and there was a lot of growing pains across the state for Special Education, that was done on a reactionary measure, that then carried into adulthood so people like your’s truly was then hungover with the neglect at the SPED level.
The compressed PDF will be the source of many future writings or postings of content related to my condition and the ever so declining system that isn’t just me that’s having the problems. I can only speak for myself and presently I am the only one that is the most outspoken for the rights of me and my peers.
During the Long Summer of 2015 (where of this writing, drafted on November 6th – the temperatures are typical for late summer), I felt very isolated. No one from the Town of Merrimack ever contacted me unless I would send something that would cause them to respond with quick actions (in this case “react”) and not respond (with thorough discussion with their citizen) or worse not inviting a private discussion face to face.
Immediately about a day or two after getting an email copy of the certified letter, I went to the source, not the messenger, the assistant to the Town Manager and went to Ms. Harrington directly with this email:
Apparently the Merrimack Town Council wasn’t interested in discussing other issue than “Kinder Morgan” (aka the Tennessee Gas and Pipeline company) and their pipeline which has been an issue all year around. even though I could care less about Kinder Morgan/Tennessee Gas Co., I’d don’t go and deny other people from speaking out, and my issue is also pressing because if Autism Speaks is causing a propaganda for misinformation – in NH – then that explains shortages for special needs professionals. People are probably too scared to work with autistics in community of Merrimack, again a community with a significant population of developmentally disabled unlike other towns in the area (like the town of Apples?) albeit to be fair such population is not a majority.
A while after, the following next email was yet another attempt to reach out to see if they would react (err “respond”) again:
Regardless, Ms. Harrington (or Mr. because she refers to herself as “Chairman” – with a very deep voice – so I’ll call s/he “it”!) would send yet another robotic email. I’m sorry there is professionalism, sensitivity, and being a plain pompous ass. I believe all the Town officials I’ve run into the last eleven months are the latter. Or should I say the City of Merrimack, New Hampshire.
Dear Mr. Ayotte:
I am in receipt of your agenda request regarding communications. Before I can place your concerns on the agenda, I need more information about your specific concerns. As you are aware from prior correspondence, if you intend to make allegations of employee misconduct those allegations must be handled in a different forum. Accordingly, I have set aside your agenda request until you can provide more information about your specific concerns. Therefore, please be advised your concerns will not be on the agenda for the Town Council’s August 20, 2015 meeting. Thank you very much for your patience and anticipated cooperation.
Sincerely,
Nancy M. Harrington
Chair – Merrimack Town Council
Since when do people use email to send legalese memos? And who in the hell indents the way I show the beginning of the paragraph in today’s modern world of SMS texting? What a bunch of old bushy faced tight right conservatives or liberals!
Again the Merrimack Town Council never spoken to me, never have seen me and they are basing this not email per se- just “letters”. Back in the days when the IBM Selectric typewriter ruled the world, people could easily gotten lost of the “tone” in the multi page memos people were ordered to type. Some people would think “it’s email and people don’t understand.” The medium isn’t relevant, its the message. The message is to copy and paste probable responses and not deal with the problems and treat citizens like they are dog crap.
I’ve felt the Town of Merrimack, New Hampshire was bullying me for personal enjoyment, both the Chief of Police, the Town Manager and the Town Council.
After digging up emails by calling the compliance desk at extension COMP, I realized “communication” was referring to a separate agenda item request I did in response of the deflective, and arrogant attitude of the Town Manager and Council against the citizens in a June or July meeting, where citizens were asking for information and Ms. Cabenal was blame the citizen and say “it’s public” “it’s on our website [you fool].”
I felt that it wasn’t just me that was experiencing anti-citizen behavior. So as a result I wanted to know, how should I contact town employees, what is their methodology in responding, and what to do when they don’t give you your desired outcome because in New Hampshire municipalities, it’s the citizen who should be right, not some pompous ass town employees
Mr/Ms. Harrington and the Town Council apparently thought that this agenda item request was a backdoor attempt for me to expose the Police Chief and Town Manager, which if that’s what they believed (in an opinion) it was false (as a fact.)
If I were the state’s AG I’d be pressing charges against this board who gets away of abusing citizens to the whole world, as all meetings from the government access channel are available for public consumption on YouTube. You can see how testy they get within minutes of a public hearing.
As of October 2015, I got more information about the decision, and they didn’t believe in me. The conclusion of this sobering narrative including the denial of grievance by the leader of a rich Caucasian racist organization at the NHDRC will follow later.
*
…but why are you 10 years behind the 8 ball?
I sit on a planning committee of an annual conference for families who live in my state -the state I live in, and I sit and have to listen to a couple hours almost every month about people presenting ideas about transition planning.
And I sit there quietly like a wallflower.
I sit like I have severe autism.
I remain quiet.
I don’t like to come off as threatening or combative.
I just sit there.
And hopefully people of the intellectual class and the professional class gets their heads out of their rear ends and understand that while this is good for the second or third generation of autistics (or developmentally disabled people) in my state, the state I live in – what about the thirtysomethings who are limping around the system just trying to get through a day? Some may not be able to verbalize because they can’t put their concerns into words, or they have been severely manipulated by a bunch of racist psychologists who think its OK to ruin a child’s brain at their teenage years, and screw them off as they become adults and not have any clue what unintended consequences they do to these people.
Excuse me for being crass: I could care less about the goddamned spoiled rotten brats in special ed! Who gives a flying bleep about “the children!” What about the goddamned adults that the professionals could care less about?
I wished I wasn’t a monster, but I sadly became one in many ways thanks to the goddamned idiots running SAU 12, GLEC and dare I say “Doctor” Teresa Bolick who with all their failures caused me to become a scary person. Now I know why people run away from me. It’s these nitwits that should be on death row!
The controlled rants are over. 🙂
If you’re new to this site, let me be clear: I live in a state where we were the first in the nation to close a statewide “school” for autistic like people; but its also the same state where people have pushed “progressive” agendas that have resulted in “regressive” actions. I also live in the most richest towns probably per capita and those communities have absolutely zero tolerance for people with developmental disabilities (if you are under the age of say 21.) You (or your child, your “friend” from elementary school, or family member) has basically been hopeless since entering middle school; and some of these people have been hopeless as early as the end of the 20th Century.
I’m going to pop a question: Is “Community Based Supports” just a glorified word for a reversed cookie-cuttered system?
I’m not an advocate, but I am active in the special needs community more than I have before. Some families have opted to keep their children or individuals to be in what some will say it resembles of Laconia State School. It’s even scandalous to the point where the Bureau of Developmental Services will question families or agencies because the federal funds are supposed to be used in “community based supports.”
But why in the hell are we telling families what they can or cannot do? Isn’t just as bad if authorities tell every family to put their able bodied child into an institution because that’s a one sized fits all?
The problem with the group-think of the out of state special interest groups, is families can have a “choice” but that “choice” may differ to what the family feels living in their own closed-minded community.
It is very important to focus on the state I live in, and that Pittsburg is very diferent to Salem; just like how Claremont is very different to say Dover. The problem is all the “progressive”, “let’s take down Laconia like places for our own political capital!” doesn’t go well for the entire state.
The progressive movement will refuse to believe any “regressive” agendas (such as lack of training, tolerance or understanding) in actually the largest communities in the state, just an hour north of the Boston, Massachusetts city line.
And that’s the real problem. People can talk all day about forcing other adults to accept autistics, but the problem is you cannot, and will not change a vast majority of adults of how they view developmentally disabled people.
Also many autistics, or Dev Disabled people, stick to their own group. If they feel comfortable being in their own groups (say a Special Olympics outing/event), then why are you insisting that’s “not good enough”?
Sadly a lot of this agenda comes from the many special interest groups, which I’ll leave nameless, but any of them on US302, NH Route 3 and the side streets of Downtown Concord, which I think you got the picture.
I’ve just joined Instagram about a few months ago. In fact the reason why I didn’t have such account was that I was running a 3 year old operating system and a phone that would barely handle iOS7. I got a new iPhone in June (5s, 16GB on a LTE network.) My first “SOS” for help from “adults” was in late that month when made the “#HopelessAutistic” on the sand, with a signature on the lower right, to claim a picture esque moment. When I noticed the two younger ladies doing something with their phones, I wasn’t sure where it would go.
So to be “ahead of the curve”, I posted it on Instagram, after registering an account.
The account had morphed into criticizing the Town government, selfies of hopelessness, and technology, mostly of telephony.
A reciprocal follower named patch_cord_pbx, a person, thing or it from the area (from what I can gather) asked me this recently:
“[Avaya’s IP Office] Server edition is crazy awesome @stevenclickford ,, your interest is great why don’t you work for telecom[?]”
I did not respond because I felt there was much needed story to go without posting it all on Instagram.