Taurus Mother, (I don’t Take Astrology Literally… Only When Necessary)

Part two of a previous narrative

a magnet with the text that describes "Taurus (the bull)" “self indulgent” “materialistic”, “self centered” , “self righteous”, “jealous and possessive” This is now more of my mother.I sometimes wonder if this happens when a Taurus ages.

I took this in between mother’s birthday of April 25th and before Mother’s Day. I don’t support believing in astrology as a primary form of judgement… this magnet alarmed me more about folks that are Taurus that isn’t just hot headed. Things like “self indulgent” “materialistic”, “self centered” , “self righteous”, “jealous and possessive” This is now more of my mother.
I sometimes wonder if this happens when a Taurus ages.

I know other people who are Taurus too, and they live on their astrology, but the irony was I would bitch about my Taurus mother to the Taurus support staff then I’d rather her to my Taurus mother, which was almost like I was living a threesome!

It’s not really funny when you live in it. It’s not to say as a Pisces I do the same stuff, but I would argue its a state vs. situational. I could be a hot head if I deal with the same sons of bitches that don’t get me, but if I indulge, I try to be responsible. In this magnet I found at Newbury Comics, all listed descriptors described my mother, and again not that I take astrology literally, only when it hits you.

Continue reading

Almost 3 Years of Boundaries… Where have things gone?

In early 2020, I started to develop the skills naturally to combat against a state full of narcissistic types, that is New Hampshire. The people who are typical and Caucasian really do feel like they can “Live Free or Die” and if you’re atypical then it’s literally Live Free or End your Own Life (just don’t post this on Facebook because they can put you in Facebook-jail for implying self-harm – to you!)

Continue reading

Family Units Hurting Autistics… (The things HFAs Refuse to Discuss)

High Functioning Assholes that like to flag people that don’t agree to their personal prejudices as ableist will turn the other side to see what really goes on to the non verbal, consensual types that come off lower functioning.

Autism is such an identity to a family unit from a few that I know. It’s really tragic. I see one acquaintance on Facebook (whom I am not friends with on the platform) with their younger sibling on the spectrum by a couple of years.) The individual is 33, but seems to be that sibling taking control of their life. It’s almost as if the parents go, that individual will be the primary care taker. I repeat this a million times, why the hell do hierarchal children have to be the primary care taker of an autistic? Why are you keeping the scope so damn tight? WHY?

Continue reading

Narcissistic People with ANY AGE and ANY TYPE are DANGEROUS!

UPDATED AUGUST 9th, 2022: To reflect an insert of a bulleted paragraph near the end of the post

Amongst the self-admired stereotypes, narcissism is a personality defect in the inability to self-reflect and go home and think about what they have done. Like how the teachers at Seacoast Learning Collaborative in Brentwood, New Hampshire would murder my soul on a daily basis, and go home and wash their hands like nothing ever happened; or when they would children, kiss their kids to sleep and not realize they were stone cold :  (because if they were a man, they’d be an asshole.)

Continue reading

Video: Being Bissell’d

This is the first experience since my day program where I had witnessed fingerprints of narcissistic abuse in the communal side of the special needs system in my state. (Meaning they are not directly involved with “the system”. Regardless, it further validated that people with special needs are more likely exposed to toxic people and getting sucked as you’ll see in the video.

P.S. there was no pun intended for using “sucks” later on in the video. 🙂

How to Escape from a State of Narcissism

What to do if you live in a state of narcissism? Not moment of a level of it, but one of the fifty U.S. States? I suspect there is over a million people in New Hampshire that have minor or significant fingerprints of NPD. Despite what you hear from Free Staters, this state is not “free” for all. “Freedom” apparently these days lack responsibility and accountability… this wasn’t always the case back 30 something years ago in this state. We have a government, we have other institutions, and they are so authoritative, that it defeats the purpose of freedom or even conservatism. Often these people are unelected, or shouldn’t be. The Town Council where I live is so damn authoritative, they think they are Congress or something like that.

Continue reading

When there’s a push…comes a SHOVE!!!

…and who gets punished? ME!

For many years I have been a victim (because I was a survivor in the moment) to people with not only an NPD like temperament but the Type-A, the antsy, always looking for something to pat themselves on the back. They really were not looking out for me.

On Christmas Eve in 2019, I had a conflict of a former support staff that was supposed to be a friend at this point. There was some irash statements, but when I went to the bathroom, my phone started to ring. This person was clearly a Type-A’s Type-A, immediately hit the phone button to call me, and left a message, then texted me, then I got a nice bigass lecture from a 50something woman ordering me around, I was forced to comply with “yes, I get you” kinda thing.

Ever since then this forward-thinking biach has ghosted me. But whose at fault? ME! Yet again! Whenever I felt push, I felt shoving back, because how would you feel as a woman of a man telling you what to do? Are you happy that I am a man so you can fuck me over?

That individual was of the many, many masculine types who wanted outcomes for their own gain. That pushing someone out of line would get me places. How would you feel as a woman that I pushed you around. The woman was really bossy and knew how to get an answer by asking specific and clear questions. I was pushed to be “very clear” and talk faster than a New York minute and even then I was still not enough to get their attention. There was always a catch, and there was always some caveat.

I can’t ever win. Pushing people what you want is never OK, but it was for many of my masculine types of women in my life.

To not completely write her off, she did help me through the maze of the system with being spiffy in my words. But I certainly did not appreciate the pushing as a motivator because the environments around me would not tolerate me pushing through sand.

That individual reminded me yet again my biggest disability is being a guy. And sadly of all the ladies in my life, only 5 or so did not have the Type-A/NPD signatures and yet I couldn’t work with them for long. I haven’t had a friend like that in my life. Why do I get the get the worse people? I didn’t ask to be a narcissist!

“Autism Mom”/”Autism Dad”… go bite my dick!

One of the most cringe of all cringe labels is the “Autism [Parent]” identifier. On the same cringe as the #ActuallyAutistic types. (Hell I love to have the secondary brand of a Hopeless Autistic, for sane people it should grab their attention!) The problem is these parents are praised as doing God’s work as parents of children that seem to be separate from normal parents.

Are these people diagnosed with autistic condition from the DSM-V? Why are you using a descriptor of your child’s condition as your identifier of than using a qualifier of that condition. Parent of an autistic child is describing the condition not using the label to identify the person entirely. The holy war of “person with autism” and “autistic” will never end, it’s best to just use both and lay off using “Autism Mom” or “Autism Dad” since that could lead into a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and my gawd is that the last thing we need in this shithole society!

I will never probably fall in love to head into a Relationship to even hope I could have an offspring! Last month was horrible of the lack of awareness to some level of some acceptance!

FFS alive, have some humble pie and tone down your ego. Your autistic child will thank you for it when they become adults!