The Sad Story of The Moore Center, part two

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In the same week I posted my experiences in a previous life dealing with The Moore Center, the Union Leader ran a story on Saturday through their City Matters columnist about a Bedford family whom their son is about to turn 21 and will be going on a wait list.

The mother, Christine Bodi tells the paper “The system is really broken”

Say that a thousand times over.

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In the article, the individual, Andrew is severely autistic in functioning level and therefore he should be able to get services not to long after his birthday because after all the lower functioning are at higher risk, right?

Well you’d think. But The Moore Center (like other families that just wanted a glimmer of hope – once in their lives) would soon crumble as they sent the family the infamous letter stating there isn’t any funds.

As I previously posted, the area agency seems to not cooperate well with the local school districts, and without having a direct connection, how are they supposed to know whose aging out of school system?

Meanwhile the Bureau of Developmental Services is on defense and their publicist gave the paper a non answer thanks to the HIPAA restrictions.

While the Union Leader did say it’s “good deal” for having a public/private system (i.e Bureau funding Area Agencies), some fare better than others.

I don’t want to get too hyper local on this subject, while I did initially post about my dealings with them with skepticism (with hopes they had changed) this report kinda shows how they haven’t that much.

I feel there is a time and a place to feel for others frustrations despite the need to be somewhat selfish. I do this because I don’t want other families or individuals to go through what I went through eight years ago.

Ethics Schethics

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The reason why I don’t trust the National Alliance for Direct Support Professionals because their own damned speakers have to set boundaries for (excuse the air quotes) “students”! As shown in the screengrab the trainer from the July session clearly stated “Please contact me with any further questions related to direct support professionals, ethics and competencies.” Yeah because I’m going to ask “how’s your love life going?” This is a joke!

Also, this wasn’t intended to be a f—–g letter, nor should had the need to VIOLATE HIS OWN DSP CODE OF ETHICS by insulting MY intelligence!

My gawd and them hacks from Albany? Aren’t they a little ethically challenged?

I blame them for the desensitizing of the human race on that intellectual level.

The next two years will be interesting to see.

Evil Special Interest Groups – Autistic Self Advocates

2017 Update: If you notice the language I used in 2016, maybe similar to mid 2017 where I attacked the anti-vaxxers’ anger towards this said group. While I used language as they were making autism a hip thing; the other misperception of any high functioning autistic is they are hip, cool, progressive and live in ritzy areas. That’s not a fair accusation from many of the anti autism groups. I don’t know if I quoted anti vaxxers or the anti vaxxers quoted me, but since then their social media presense talks about all other disabilities, employment and race. Where’s the autism?

They aren’t speaking for me…


Happy New Year, hoping people enjoyed the holiday weekend (if that holiday still exists.)

I don’t like special interest groups. I don’t care if its right wing, left wing, middle wing, whatever. There are two types of special interest groups, one is radical and the other one is for true minorities. Sadly there is so many of the former that exists that are often compared to as “racial arsonists” like a Jessie Jackson, or an Al Sharpton. Sure there is racism, but overall I’d say 98% of America is not as “racist” as those two men want to dismiss the stereotypical old white men agenda.

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Lack of Personal Autism “Acceptance”

It has come to my attention and I might have come to my senses for the next year (assuming no help arrives to assist me) that I may very well be having problems accepting my autism more than anything else. This same disorder that has been with me virtually since birth.

It could very well that I may have been in denial not just in the middle to high school years, but even in my first ten years as being an adult, despite denying it and trying to act mature by moving forward.  I know I’ve been diagnosed with my autism over the years, but I’ve yet to understand and grasp what makes me who I am and why I can’t move forward. I don’t know what’s going on in my mind. I feel my brain is dead in some parts.

I might as well not expect so much and really get used to being treated like a child afterall. Perhaps I do need to be reminded and talk to like a child. Perhaps I have put my ego too high and I was too “rosey”.  Maybe I am not as “normal” as I think I was. I figured I was tone deaf and didn’t understand the difference between “it’s not your autism” vs. something that is autistic.

All I want to say is just like all the other low/mod functioning types of the annoying and generic “I’m sorry” when they feel bad about something they did “wrong.” I may as well be on this functioning level and I’ve been denying this all along.

These senses may give me a path; but regardless I don’t see much happening for the better. I still feel like a hopeless autistic.

TBT: NYE 2010

Today is a Throwback Thursday narrative to this day 5 years ago. I moved out of town for the first time in my life, after moving to three neighborhoods as a kid. Londonderry had already abandoned me before I could abandon them. The area agency was no help, and I would switch over to a new area agency that I get day services through with Medicaid Waiver funding* and a new client directed services, which was so Greek, I’m not used to directing my own goals and pathways.

*I use this terminology to educate the public about the two types of Medicaid, and this isn’t the health insurance part, this type of Medicaid is not well known.

I moved to my new community with really nothing on my back other than my family DSC_0002and belongings. I remember watching the crystal ball drop – the similar one shown from my visit to Manhattan in April (just to know, the ball sticks around after New Years – just another reminder that any day in the year can be a New Year.) Meanwhile as the ball started to descend down, I noticed that I would start streaming tears. All the emotions of the previous two years after high school graduation, the pain and suffering a decade before, was getting released and tried to let it all go.

I broke down.

I don’t know who I’ll be watching tonight, (I haven’t watched Dick Clark since his stroke and passing, the Fox News Channel used to be my go to once they got rid of two good news anchors, Bill Hemmer and Megyn Kelly; and Carson Daily is still on overnights, do people even watch him?)

I don’t know what my emotions will be, but I am hoping that 2016 brings some hope. I didn’t anticipate how 2015 would be written. That’s what life is. You don’t know what crap will come and hit you. All you can do is stand tall and be strong and try to get through a day without falling into pieces. Many days this past year, I just couldn’t get up and some weeks (only a few) where I called in and didn’t show up to my program.

What I can say, is I believe there is hope, just you need to at times dig harder, and work more to find it. Perhaps to HFAs that’s “inspiration porn” but you know, maybe having some inspiration will help all autistics – in my state – of course.

I’m planning tomorrow to start with a clean slate, and just not anticipate or predict what happens; just get through a day and deal with it as it happens.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good night.

The Most Effective Human Rights Movement that Never Happened

The alleged rise of autism and the rise of interconnected devices such as personal computers and TCP/IP connectivity (also known as the “Internet”) as well as applications such as the World Wide Web, social media applications like Facebook, Twitter, etc. could had one of the most progressive social movements in history.

But what happened instead? Autism or developmental disorders (as we call it here in my state)  was “no different no less” than the “racial arsonists” of the 1960s, 1990s or even sometimes bordering on the Internet equivalent of the “Weather Underground” (and no I’m not talking about what was once a geeky weather related site that just got sold out to Big Blue.) They’ll blow people up that don’t agree to their narrative and like the Weather Underground they probably would say “that was just ‘property damage'”.

It’s one thing to “make noise”, but attacking others that don’t agree with you defeats your purpose of advocacy.

Why is advocacy supposed to be a Boston styled, one way street? I thought progress made streets wide like California where you can have two way traffic, relationships and question people. So if they are all about progress, then why are they stuck in the past with an old metaphor? Wasn’t the Internet supposed to integrate different “internets” so they all could talk the same way – and unite what was once iron-clad mini fridge mainframes, later to plastic clad PCs and glass clad iPhones?

I’m for justice, or “social justice” but not entirely. I’m an effective communicator, and one of the worst things to publicly say is to use vague language, buzzwords that 90% of America can’t understand and push your politics against other adults who have their own opinions.

And people think I still have social skills problems. – Look at these silly “Aspies”!

Don’t use “we”, because you may not be speaking for everyone!

Try saying that to a family that has an autistic that runs away, bites themselves and has constant meltdowns. Have any of these Aspergers types know any lower functioning autistic? Oh wait I’m an ableist!

I agree with the top part, but the last sentence is like X-Men where the Mutants say “don’t be afraid” and show off their “talents” in an arrogant attitude without fear. Card-carrying autistics rarely go places. Let me tell you, if I did what these people did, I’d have an even larger criminal record! Put this into perspective, if I was a full time advocate, the DRC dude – the UNH party boy there, would’ve hated me even more.

In short, if you want to be well liked, keep your autism showoffs to yourself!

Want to know why I’ve been complemented for great writing? It’s because I use boldface to enhance a message. Using improper capitalization automatically deducts points especially if you have strong English skills. “Autistic Voices” should not be capitalized. Boldface would work just fine in all lower caps.

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What I fear is the autism advocates are as passive aggressive as Bob Wright’s Autism Speaks is passive agressive against autistics. I hate to speak bluntly, but the problem is say this disorder was a cancer, they believe cancer would be a gift that should not be cured. Why? Because these autism advocates do not attack Autism Speaks in the same way as your’s truly pointed out on a number of times to the point I still call it an “exclusive.” They don’t understand the power of the Wrights as they want you to believe that these are just normal country club couples creating a feel-me-good organization, when in fact the man had significant power to the mainstream media/MSM for decades. But since they listen to NPR or watch AJA – they never watched NBC, CNBC or any of the other NBCU properties or even have a clue what WPIX is (referring to that documentary.) By curing cancer, you have to get to the root of the disease as much as possible, by attacking Autism Speaks without getting to the root cause by going the “general” or “generic” route, you’re not going to get much places in an outcome where people will understand. Therefore adults who are “normal” or parents will not believe you. Positivity doesn’t get you places in “the system”, to use the cliche “if it bleeds it leads.” 

As I am a Lego (and Lego Movie) Fanboy, I can’t help to quote the “EVERYT-HING IS AW-E-SOOOMM-EEE” approach to autism advocacy is in fact hurting their cause. In some cases, they may hate Steve Jobs (as many HFAs are Google/Linux fanboys), but they are doing his same practice of using reality distortion field – believing the whole world is rosey to “acceptance” – despite the realities of continued hatred by the professional class, heads of state agencies, school district management, and ineffective training. You’ll never hear the direct attack on the subject or specific individuals at all.

They are just like every other liberal group of throwing some vague wording without solid facts.

Since becoming an adult, I’ve been demonized, and sadly I am a victim of an oppressive special needs system. Being happy, and “gay” (since afterall they push an autism rainbow and eliminate the puzzle) won’t bring you places. It’s like you won a battle you didn’t deserve to win.

This is why I am unaffiliated to the groups. And I’m autistic thank you very much.