The legacy of the “label”…

While it was 28 years ago I was diagnosed with a now outdated diagnosis from the previous version of the DSM…

In the last few years, my legacy was written when it was told to me just over 22 years ago. The PDD-NOS diagnosis is really a definition of unable to do anything. It was then I was delegitimized. It was then my condition would then turn my situation into feeling inadequate…incompetent…feeling or causing despair about something… oh wait did I use my Dictionary.app and find the definition of “hopeless”? For fuck sakes alive… I thought I was being some cultist thinking all of this was some bad dream I was living the life!

Well regardless, for many who were 80s babies (like me – totally forgotten and non existent to society) – being told you had PDD-NOS in the 90s was like getting the death sentence. It’s not even close to melodrama…

In 2019, the political pollster, Frank Luntz told Frontline in a raw interview the following

“And everyone who speaks in that language that dismisses a community or dismisses somebody else, we are not just trashing them. We are dehumanizing them; we are delegitimizing them. And when you get that far, that you have no right to exist, that you have nothing to contribute to society, when we make that decision, that there is no recovering; there is no coming back, because you cease to exist. And that is where we are right now. And it scares the shit out of me because you can’t show me a time when democracy recovered.”

Frank Luntz, on the division of the US recorded in late 2019, click on the link to see this in context.

But again I must be some cultist who just is on the web too many hours a day, acting unruly with a parent that has allowed his kid to (in some ways) to mess around and not have to deal with accountability of which, kids (adults or children) have to screw around to learn risk and I have had my share of paying for responsibility… in some ways a lot more than for others that should take some responsibility and be accountable for their in-actions.

Of course, I can’t control the other’s not respond of course, I don’t need that speel again.

There’s a reason why I go-silent. Because I lost it at trying to telegraph how I feel and how others just want to really shut me up. As much as I feel that my mother should burry me, on one hand, I would feel worse for my gram and by Bachiyan (my paternal grandmother)… at least in that context I should be burying them, but in the last several years I have felt very, very distraught, and there is no point to go back to my childhood where it seemed I didn’t have to worry about my reputation and constantly check on my social capital every few minutes.

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The State of Affairs for Autism and Relationships

There is a bunch of problems going forward for the next five to ten years for autistics and the “leadership” thereof about relationships and building friends, etc., etc.

To go into further detail of that statement; we face problems such as trying to fit every possible individual into one unified group instead of unifying 1 and 88 people with autistic or pervasive developmental disorders; secondly the research and assessment (or diagnoses) often compares us to the normal functioning peer groups; which is also an unfair and inaccurate portrayal to the autistic community.

There are a bunch of people who go around the world to speak about autism, to lecture about the subject or even speak badly (even with it being unintentional.) This problem is also a multi pronged issue too. One is the lack of editorial judgement when delivering these messages to the public; secondly the medium is the message; especially in the world of the Web and social media; and how the people take these messages. I’ve said in the past that for a long time people in the Millenial generation (born from 1977 to 2001) were the most intolerant generation of people with developmental disabilities; however that number is slowly going down – but not a lot. The problem here, is those numbers are becoming tolerant because of a career path they have chosen, not really because they want to be tolerant from the heart.

And the last point is what becomes the most dangerous part for ANYONE with autism; the message, or the medium may mislead these future professionals of the special needs industry; there is still some mixed messages that all autistics are mute and dumb, and often they are lost little bastards; and often its boys; because its only boys who are bad; and its only boys who are into science and math; and again guys are socially retarded; and that all autistics shall not have a life like everyone else because of their alleged social dysfunction; and they really should be friends with their neurological peers; and shall not even have the chance of getting married and having offspring that might reproduce another autistic.

The entire boldface was the subliminal or innuendo messaging of what is taught in college, or in professional development (bitter people training.) There is a lot of psychobabble about “social pyramid”, “social capital”, “social this” or “social that”. And many of this BULLSHIT has anything to do with social skills!

So in closing, the state of affairs for autism and relationships are bleak and will have a dark future. Not because “progressives” want to make a movement for change and acceptance; its really for people who want to be career mothers or career slanderers to make blaintely false and misleading statements that all autistics are bad, all autistics should be sent to Laconia or a state that still has a state school for developmentally disabled people. And yet we have to settle with the fact of “they are being honest” and “they are telling the God honest truth” but yet if I make a “God honest truth” I’d be charged for hate speech even if there isn’t a  hate speech law in my state.
The only option is to settle with the “facts” with the hopes these people will die to hell sooner rather than later.

Birthday

My birthday is near and in the coming weeks I will be 26 years of age. It will be the 5 year mark where I had turned 21 and finished school on the same day. It is very scary to think how in half a decade how I have fallen apart and came to a hard realization about how I have to accept my differences, and accept my future outlooks in life. (I think you know its really about “relationships”.)
I don’t talk like I used to because I am tired of talking to slight egomaniacs. I am tired of hearing someone’s “honest” or someone pushing an agenda on me. I might be venting a little about my mother, but that’s really besides my point.
I am asking for much this year, nor do I really give a shit about it ether. As I wrote in last October, about my struggles of people remembering my birthday; I’ve just accepted the fact “its just another day”. That happened last year, I went on a trip to the mountains after doing some shopping at the state’s surplus agency getting networking gear. I brushed off the the 25th anniversary of my existence.
I am not happy about the big two-six. And this isn’t just the normal PDD obsession leading to one’s bday.  It’s actually worse.
I realize I won’t be happy. Its not because I choose not to, its because I am forced to not be happy. The leadership on the ASD self-interest has effectively slandered my group, and has effectively committed uncriminal behavior like psychological ID theft. These goddamned sons of bitches have forced me to grow up faster than my peers (since it is “normal” to still act like an adolescent at 35 years old, if you don’t have a disability) and yet these same sons – of  – bitches treat people like me as crap when they aren’t “on the clock”. These people insist we work for some corporation and be highly accountable at all times.
These freckin bastards also believe we should only fall in love in our own peer group. I’m talking about the PDD group. As you already know (I assume) the numbers of PDD male to female ratio is about 4 out of 5 male to female. I probably would say 3 out of 5 are females, since I see more of them in the adult services than I have seen in the special education. But still, I am put at a disadvantage.
My only wishes for my birthday is:

  1. Please, I ask the middle age women, who are ugly, bitter and hateful people  who act exactly the same as I just described: to stop acting as advocates for special needs! I also understand you might have an empty nest syndrome, but just stop saying for one example that autistic people can’t fall in love. DO NOT slander these people in private workshops BY CLEARLY saying its “not appropriate ” for us to attend when I feel you will painting EVERYONE with PDD with the most thickest brush to exist! Especially when WE STRUGGLE (in some cases for unneeded purposes) with RELATIONSHIPS and recklessly plan such workshop on mother fuckin’ VALENTINE’S DAY! It is your peers that have made me so mad and sad and not glad that the only life I can have is to be a fucking slave!I stand by my “fucking” beliefs, because you force me to use such needed coarse language! 
  2. I want people to LISTEN. Especially WOMEN! I don’t give a shit you have a cunt and tits, to me its sexist for me to expect me to listen to you and its fine for you not to listen to me and go off and talk, talk and talk and push your egomaniac agenda. If you want to be treated like everyone else, you have to not label yourself and act like everyone else, and sadly in this case men. (I hate using gender/age specific language, but it is these overeducated punks from Harvard, and other Middlesex County, Mass like regions around the world that unnecessarily done this reversed sexism!)
  3. As narrow-minded and possibly sexist and racist as it is, I would love to have a woman to be my romantic mate. (I can’t say “girlfriend” without being charged for “hate speech” because you can’t say a “girl” to a “woman”.) Therefore, I would like to have an adult female companion  I should just say, look into a slow relationship. For all I could know, having a romantic relationship may not work at all, and I could’ve wasted 10 years for nothing!
  4. The “experts” need to get their head out of their asses. I can’t say this enough. I also ask for paraprofessionals, professionals, teachers and other cold-hearted people between the hours of 9:00 to 5:00 local time to maybe learn that autistic people are just like you, and instead of not having friends in your outside life that are autistic, to maybe give it a chance? I’m not talking about HS aged people or current professional relationships, but have some freckin unity as we desperately need in my country! I only wished I could be integrated with “normal” Latinos, Blacks, Asians and other people of various backgrounds, and not be forced into a group I find is regressive and a group that won’t rightfully go forward according to my social, political and systemic standards.

I’ve realized I have done some bitching, but many punks in my life have no idea what they have done to me, and how its ok to not be accountable of their actions, their words and their actions. It is men with a certain social standard who have wrongfully been abused and used!
I do not hate women! And I mean that. I respect them! They are very caring people, and they have great talents! Younger ladies is rare, thirtysomethings you have better luck I only have a problem when they go on a political or systemic tirade against one social class for no realistic reason in the general population, and get away with it. Sadly, many are near or post menopausal and they generically look ugly, because they act as if they are fat and ugly.  I hate to be so biased, but since ASD and PDD individuals are mostly male, I feel so personally offended to be an adult male because we have to treat women as God.
I only ask to be somewhat happy for my Birthday. But apparently in America that is asking for too much according to all the experts I have to comply since America is now a “1984” society.
P.S. there is one other thing I would want for my birthday. To have more traffic on this blog and more discussions from my readers, because if it weren’t for you (if you even read my blogs) this blog wouldn’t exist.
End of my political/personal rant.

No Girlfriend – No Problem!

The beginning of the new year (well as early as late September, as I started the “Countdown”) was really a sigh of relief. I realized that the chances of me getting a girlfriend in the near to distant future was going to be pretty low odds. I really don’t see a future for me and romance.I just don’t see it.

While it is so painful dealing with the idea of being single, I’m finding it a good idea. I won’t have to worry about loosing my gf due to a big argument  I won’t have to worry about not getting AIDS or another STD, since the sex rates with the suburban girls are probably much higher than one thinks.

I won’t have to worry about getting distracted from the g/f, and I can continue to avoid from social situations since many 26 year olds are often taken, or in a committed relationship. And other 26 year olds often have gone to college, and I don’t.

I won’t have to worry about meeting various demands, since girls require a guy with a University education, and working for some large company taking home at least $45,000 after tax. I won’t have to feel so ashamed living with his mother as girls don’t want a “looser”.
It is best to stay single!

College/University Talk

AS I promised in a post in June, I was going to write and report about how colleges are not always the best fit for people with various disorders, in this case for autism related disorders relevant to the United States.
You are better off flipping burgers at the local McDonalds and work up the ladder to a VP of the company in a few years making more than someone with a 6 year liberal arts study that won’t be applied into a few, if any serious career down the road.
For disabilities: first off, the colleges are protected only under the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. The Individuals with Disabilities Educational Act  or IDEA only applies to the local school systems for students over the age of 3 and under 21 in 40 out of the 50 states. The IDEA (which mostly is federal funds) can make a student’s education vary lenient. However in the mean and and tough world of adulthood, the colleges are not protected by IDEA.
Their reasoning is: college is not a right or a need. Well the black and white sense, it is right, but in the abstract sense, the government’s agenda over the course of the last century has essentially indoctrinated that its a need to to go to college. Regardless whether its legally or philosophically right, can be debated forever. Providing intense services colleges aren’t required by law to provide such services.  Another issue is college is much like getting a job, you don’t have the right to get that specific job; same with college.
So colleges or universities aren’t not required to change the curricula, they are not required to change the content, they are not required to change the testing times, and also they  can only change things for “reasonable accommodations” so if you aren’t physically disabled, you can’t get a wheelchair, (if that has ever been done at the local school district under IDEA.)
Applying to a college doesn’t mean you will get into that place. It’s all about if you are the right candidate for that degree you are applying for. That goes out of the window in some cases if you have a rich daddy who has a Rolodex card who can sweet talk the school to get you in there, another negatives of “networking.”
So to make it short, getting a K-12  education is required by law, you need 12 year education, and if you have a special need, you need special education to get through those classes, confirming that college is allegedly a choice.
Another annoyance, is how states like Massachusetts that have approved laws to enable illegal aliens (citizens who are from outside this country, that have no Green card, no legal non-citizen paperwork) to get free (yes free) college education. So you can come to the States with no immigration paperwork and theoretically  make up a high school diploma here on a piece of a napkin (if you came from a “third world country”), go to UMASS Boston and ask to take the most expensive degree and not expect a bill from there, meanwhile the working families from New Hampshire, that pays extra because of the out of state tuition are getting screwed! And what about the legal “ailens” the ones who have autism like disorders? They get put well into the bottom of the queue!
Colleges and universities can really push their students to be as independent as possible. They do help students with “time management” skills,”self-advocacy” skills, and assistance for tutors in case the student’s are unable to study on their own. Lots of these things are done because the colleges are simply ignorant in providing “user friendly” (so to speak) programs for special needs, most importantly the developmentally disabled.
Not only that, the mentally ill is the most at risk, worse than people with autism or other developmental disorders. Colleges insist that their students act like adults, and in that case, if some seem to have issues, they expect given they are legal adults, to fend for themselves. There has been several tragedies in the last few years by young people in their early twenties and in these cases – mental illness actually gets caught then and not earlier. The most recent issue was in the Denver area movie theatre shooting, where apparently red flags started to show just weeks before the gunman shot there.
Another issue is colleges (both faculty and students) have traditionally accepted minorities, racial minorities, sexual orientations, various political and philosophical views, as well as people with physical disabilities. Sadly, if you have a conservative view, or you have a mental disorder or developmental disorder, or you are a white folk, colleges have not been accepting to such groups, which is disappointing.
I remember reading the local newspaper and when UNH started a minority group,  they interviewed some black (or could’ve been an Indian)  girl was so scared going into her first class because of the prejudice of her classmates. While I am loosely quoting that article, but what about the autistic groups? There are individuals that I wouldn’t be surprised to know they had similar experiences. From people I have talked to who work for that Institution, they have crafted some programs, but that includes that dirty word known as “self advocacy”
Unfortunately, at the end of the day, the unions, the extreme leftie moonbats are still controlling the college systems, and meanwhile the most vulernable citizens of society, the working class, the ones with special needs are getting screwed by the elitists. The real “adults” are the people that are most vulnerable; meanwhile the normal peers and the union preachers are the ones that whine and bitch about how this country sucks, etc. and not willing to teach students they think are “disruptive” – well maybe we need some DISRUPTION of the same ol’ same ol’! While they preach on change, they are the last groups to adapt to change.

I’ve made the decision to stop looking into the college thing last year and never looked back.

Autism Speaks Craziness, part five

Autism Speaks Craziness
I found some videos on YouTube that should make you really sick to your stomach. I don’t think I need to explain much details (unless I should say some in case I have visually impaired viewers.)
This first video is the infamous documentary produced by Autism Speaks entitled Autism Every Day  on WrongPlanet and they had actually beaten the crap out of this when it first circulated. Unfortunately, they caved in to receiving funding from Autism Speaks and now they have a tainted reputation, again that Asperger Syndrome is still not officially connected to autism.

The video starts with such deepening and deathly like music. The entire video focused on the negative, even near the end, when they basically faked their way of turning the negative into a positive experience. These Manhattanite women (you could even consider a few of these characters as Sex and the City-esque mothers – by telling their demeanor) because you know the rich are just like us – rigght – just ask the head of the New York Stock Exchange as I reported in April acting as the boy next door type. One of the mothers was frustrated since she can’t go out to have a coffee date with one of her girlfriends because her daughter is taking up much of her life.

The worst offender was when the mother halfway through the video said that she was contemplating suicide by driving off the G.W.B. with her autistic daughter. (The context is still in question since maybe she was referring to her struggles finding a kindergarten program for her, might had been a run off rant so to speak.) As she was saying such heavy statement, her daughter was walking in the room right as she said such strong statement.

These women have no idea that at least in New York State, they have “area agency” systems, and in other states they might even have a state agency for disabled people. In this entire video, no mention at all of any public or public/private programs as I had just mentioned, only the frustrations with the insurance companies and the debt they had entailed finding sources of revenue to make their kids somewhat happy.

So in that video, they had effectively made autism a third person, a Commander Data like humanoid and they can’t talk so therefore they are dumb.

The next YouTube video, makes you want to think twice about those A Walk for Autism that you get spammed by your ignorant liberal friends. The video shows how much the receive in these bake sale type of fundraisers, and how they just spend it on themselves! From the lavish digs on 7th Avenue, to the obscene salaries of this alleged non-profit entity, the chief officers and VPs making about nearly a half of a million dollars! Not to mention the excessive expenditures for advertising, facilities, and fixtures. The end of the clip states this statement: “Still feel like walking? Grab your dog and go to the park. It’s much more productive”
If you want to attempt to ether confront to Autism Speaks directly or even reply to your liberal friends’ spam invitation, don’t try to even tell them that Autism Speaks is a fraud! They won’t listen to you. They’ll treat you as if you are mute and dumb since that is Autism Speaks’ goal – to only let grown ups who don’t have autism (since they are afterall child-like – to them) and silence anyone who disagrees with them.
Geez, and I liked Bob Wright, who made a crippled business of one of the Big 3 network into a strong one before it got ruined by other GE mismanagers. But the Wrights does posses mismanagement skills. By running an alleged non-profit as a profit seeking entity and misleading the public.
If it was legal for me to punch people that have that blue puzzle pin, I would. Because they are arrogant and ignorant jerks.
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Why Aren’t People Falling in Love (romantically) with the Autistic Population?

I wrote a post back in February of last year about why autistic people don’t fall in love. This particular post has been one of the most searched and read posts on the web since this was published on Valentine’s Day of last year. There are people out there wondering if they can fall in love or not.
Well I don’t have that clear answer for that. Some do fall in love and some do not. It varies by their dis/abilities. Someone with Asperger Syndrome may be able to have some relationship and can vary to someone with a form of PDD that can’t stand girls.
I do have one possible answer, it has to do with society. Society has been trained that anyone with special needs should not be able to pursue love.  Another issue is the potential emotional  effects between the one with the disorder and the other with or without the similar disorder.  Another problem is that many people who are nurses, special education teachers or para-professionals have self esteem problems themselves, that they don’t want to deal with such baggage off the clock.
And also if one is living in the Suburbia or grew up in the suburbs doesn’t help them – it sure made me worse for sure! Ultra rich towns have been frowned upon the progress of special needs mostly in the autism side, since that’s a “hidden disability.” Since many are able to walk or don’t need physical assistance, they aren’t aware about the internal disorder or disease or disability.
For my case, I do feel afraid of romance due to the excessive teasing and picking on when I was younger and girl crazy. I had so many “crushes” that you could call me a slut. However, after that, I would start to feel ashamed if I liked someone. Love is a real complicated and complex issue that I still can’t understand to this day.
So in closing, I have no real answer why people can’t fall in love with autistics or people with autism.