Tying Loose Ends with the Cutie at the Coast

Posted on December 13, 2024 by Clickford, Steven M.

In the post I published before Thanksgiving,,with a follow up over a week ago, there was some loose ends to this story.

TMI

One is I may had published TMI, but I had to wrap this story with so much that was going on. In March of 2023, I was going through long bout of loneliness out there, in October of last year, the third time I visited, I felt there was there-there. As I discovered just recently that of all my years existing, that my brain often on the next destination, so while Portsmouth and base is only an hour or so away, when I was checking out, the plan was to go home or eat before heading back, so my brain was already on the Stubborn/Rigid/Core Bedrock of Personality that is the Interstate 93 Corridor that also includes parts of US Route 3, that at the front desk near Interstate 95, I was creeped out in my brain.

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The State of Affairs for Autism and Relationships

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

There is a bunch of problems going forward for the next five to ten years for autistics and the “leadership” thereof about relationships and building friends, etc., etc.

To go into further detail of that statement; we face problems such as trying to fit every possible individual into one unified group instead of unifying 1 and 88 people with autistic or pervasive developmental disorders; secondly the research and assessment (or diagnoses) often compares us to the normal functioning peer groups; which is also an unfair and inaccurate portrayal to the autistic community.

There are a bunch of people who go around the world to speak about autism, to lecture about the subject or even speak badly (even with it being unintentional.) This problem is also a multi pronged issue too. One is the lack of editorial judgement when delivering these messages to the public; secondly the medium is the message; especially in the world of the Web and social media; and how the people take these messages. I’ve said in the past that for a long time people in the Millenial generation (born from 1977 to 2001) were the most intolerant generation of people with developmental disabilities; however that number is slowly going down – but not a lot. The problem here, is those numbers are becoming tolerant because of a career path they have chosen, not really because they want to be tolerant from the heart.

And the last point is what becomes the most dangerous part for ANYONE with autism; the message, or the medium may mislead these future professionals of the special needs industry; there is still some mixed messages that all autistics are mute and dumb, and often they are lost little bastards; and often its boys; because its only boys who are bad; and its only boys who are into science and math; and again guys are socially retarded; and that all autistics shall not have a life like everyone else because of their alleged social dysfunction; and they really should be friends with their neurological peers; and shall not even have the chance of getting married and having offspring that might reproduce another autistic.

The entire boldface was the subliminal or innuendo messaging of what is taught in college, or in professional development (bitter people training.) There is a lot of psychobabble about “social pyramid”, “social capital”, “social this” or “social that”. And many of this BULLSHIT has anything to do with social skills!

So in closing, the state of affairs for autism and relationships are bleak and will have a dark future. Not because “progressives” want to make a movement for change and acceptance; its really for people who want to be career mothers or career slanderers to make blaintely false and misleading statements that all autistics are bad, all autistics should be sent to Laconia or a state that still has a state school for developmentally disabled people. And yet we have to settle with the fact of “they are being honest” and “they are telling the God honest truth” but yet if I make a “God honest truth” I’d be charged for hate speech even if there isn’t a hate speech law in my state.
The only option is to settle with the “facts” with the hopes these people will die to hell sooner rather than later.

Autism + Relationships + Mixed Messages / Slander = Total Confusion

Posted on August 5, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

Relationships and autism doesn’t always gel well. Some of that has to do with ones wiring of the brain like if part of the brain is missing a circuit board.
In some cases it gets unnecessary confusing in ones’ teenage years.
Why do I say that?
Its because we have people who claim to be knowitalls on autism (using Doctor or PhD) in their names, and sadly because of their status, they think they have an open license to start making blanket statements about that everyone with autism are all boys, they are lost, they can’t talk and if they are high functioning they are all geeks who like computers or gaming and they are all 5 ’10 and are fat bastards because they are given anti depressants out of will in a semi criminal fashion.
What I mean by that is that in any legitimate workshop on autism, the above stereotype is often used, indirectly albit. It’s hard to describe it because there is a lot of subliminal messaging in terms of autism awareness. Some of those cases, can you know come off as scare tactics. Some are just plain ol slander and some are just claiming to tell the “truth” (insert your aging estrogen bias here.)
The problem is instead of trying to act fair and balanced (read: the equal opportunity offender), there is always a focus on the negative, and some cases blaitent attempts singling out these individuals, because of the subject manner. Earlier this year, a workshop took place in my state. February 14th to be exact. Great timing, right? The workshop was entitled “What Does Love Have to Do With It?”. The pamphlet (which is on the World Wide Web mind you and likely to be indexed forever!) puts a damning catch:

“This workshop is appropriate for parents, professionals, and paraprofessionals who have a working knowledge of autism spectrum disorders and common strategies for teaching social cognition and communication. It is not appropriate for adolescents themselves.” – Pamphlet of this workshop on February 14^th, 2013

What sensitivity, if was ever any thought? The speaker, a well known psychologist, that comes off as a knowitall on Autism, basically singled out the population just only “adolescent” age group and only for the coldhearted professionals of the autism biz. Who in the hell gave this a green light? Where was the assistant if this speaker even has one? If I were the assistant, I’d be like “what the fuck are you doing?” and smacking the ass! And this speaker, doesn’t give a shit if she is messing up ADULTS with autism with the mixed messages and the fear tactics, since the profile states she only deals with children and adolescents!*
*so she can mess up the younger folks and fuck off the adults suffering with mixed messages with love and relationships, the 25 year olds that got raped by the abuse of liberal union thugs – fuck those bastards they are illerlevent!
If I was the local AG, I’d throw the books at a boatload of women as Level 3 sex offenders. The University of New Hampshire Durham has plenty of anti social jerks and a majority of the college girls there are mostly skanks –and don’t dare you tell me that’s just you know “3%” of the student population! Hello, Facebook! Facebook exposes the REAL majority of sex offenders! Yes a slut in my opinion is a Sex Offender. I hate using the word “slut” and “skank”, but when there isn’t fathers controlling their daughter’s estrogen and teaching them how to effectively use their sexual power, the degrading words DESERVES MERIT!
Speaking about the Internet Protocol, it is taught to autistic to be careful what you post online? And yet I am assuming this speaker never thought of any guilt or remorse of doing a workshop on Saint Valentines Day, and knowing it was planned to begin with. If there was another date, it should’ve be done because, yes Virgina – there is a such thing that perception is reality and teasing, YES teasing the fact one is doing a workshop and yet, yet its about autism and love/relationships, but the next breath it says not for the “individuals themselves”?
ARE YOU FUCKING ME!!!??????
So, to make a statement that PDFs do not rot, I’ll post the original tease of the workshop on MY blog to show that people should not only think twice of what they should be posting, but also think before you act. Think before you commit a date and do not, and DO NOT make a sissy excuse like oh it was just coincidental – nothing personal. That’s the oldest trick in the book in CYA. Some autistics are like Google who will never forget or EVEN forgive your intellectual stupidity! Think twice before you tease the public and think before you paint a slanderous image of autistics, because there are people who are trying to make us like creeps!
If it weren’t for these types of people, this blog wouldn’t exist. I don’t know if I should be thankful or pissed or both. You decide.
*

Friends, Girlfriends and Relationships

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

As you know – when it comes to almost any type of relationships – for me, its Greek, a foreign language. That’s why there is a blog about relationships published by yours truly!
Some of this has to do with conflicting social protocols. What am I talking about? I’m talking about when a friend of your’s gets into “A Relationship”. I’ve heard from many people that when someone gets a boy or girlfriend their relationships around them start to shutter. Supposedly, they spend a lot of time with their girlfriend, or Significant Other (S.O.)
I cannot personally confirm this since I, myself have never been in any romantic relationships.
What I do know is this: when someone enters into any romantic relationship – they shouldn’t be shuttering the other relationships they had prior to. To me when one falls in love, they become selfish, lack of respect to their friends (dare I say “single” friends) and the whole relationship with the friend changes. Can I say narcissistic?
In today’s society we have already accepted the fact that we can’t fight the mass numbers of selfish, self entitled, narcissistic, me, me, me types. I have had to deal with these types for so many years, and sadly I have settled to accept the fact that there really aren’t that many caring people to begin with, worse when they become in love.
I can’t run away from the puzzling world of relationships, can’t I?

Birthday

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

My birthday is near and in the coming weeks I will be 26 years of age. It will be the 5 year mark where I had turned 21 and finished school on the same day. It is very scary to think how in half a decade how I have fallen apart and came to a hard realization about how I have to accept my differences, and accept my future outlooks in life. (I think you know its really about “relationships”.)
I don’t talk like I used to because I am tired of talking to slight egomaniacs. I am tired of hearing someone’s “honest” or someone pushing an agenda on me. I might be venting a little about my mother, but that’s really besides my point.
I am asking for much this year, nor do I really give a shit about it ether. As I wrote in last October, about my struggles of people remembering my birthday; I’ve just accepted the fact “its just another day”. That happened last year, I went on a trip to the mountains after doing some shopping at the state’s surplus agency getting networking gear. I brushed off the the 25th anniversary of my existence.
I am not happy about the big two-six. And this isn’t just the normal PDD obsession leading to one’s bday. It’s actually worse.
I realize I won’t be happy. Its not because I choose not to, its because I am forced to not be happy. The leadership on the ASD self-interest has effectively slandered my group, and has effectively committed uncriminal behavior like psychological ID theft. These goddamned sons of bitches have forced me to grow up faster than my peers (since it is “normal” to still act like an adolescent at 35 years old, if you don’t have a disability) and yet these same sons – of – bitches treat people like me as crap when they aren’t “on the clock”. These people insist we work for some corporation and be highly accountable at all times.
These freckin bastards also believe we should only fall in love in our own peer group. I’m talking about the PDD group. As you already know (I assume) the numbers of PDD male to female ratio is about 4 out of 5 male to female. I probably would say 3 out of 5 are females, since I see more of them in the adult services than I have seen in the special education. But still, I am put at a disadvantage.
My only wishes for my birthday is:

Please, I ask the middle age women, who are ugly, bitter and hateful people who act exactly the same as I just described: to stop acting as advocates for special needs! I also understand you might have an empty nest syndrome, but just stop saying for one example that autistic people can’t fall in love. DO NOT slander these people in private workshops BY CLEARLY saying its “not appropriate ” for us to attend when I feel you will painting EVERYONE with PDD with the most thickest brush to exist! Especially when WE STRUGGLE (in some cases for unneeded purposes) with RELATIONSHIPS and recklessly plan such workshop on mother fuckin’ VALENTINE’S DAY! It is your peers that have made me so mad and sad and not glad that the only life I can have is to be a fucking slave!I stand by my “fucking” beliefs, because you force me to use such needed coarse language!
I want people to LISTEN. Especially WOMEN! I don’t give a shit you have a cunt and tits, to me its sexist for me to expect me to listen to you and its fine for you not to listen to me and go off and talk, talk and talk and push your egomaniac agenda. If you want to be treated like everyone else, you have to not label yourself and act like everyone else, and sadly in this case men. (I hate using gender/age specific language, but it is these overeducated punks from Harvard, and other Middlesex County, Mass like regions around the world that unnecessarily done this reversed sexism!)
As narrow-minded and possibly sexist and racist as it is, I would love to have a woman to be my romantic mate. (I can’t say “girlfriend” without being charged for “hate speech” because you can’t say a “girl” to a “woman”.) Therefore, I would like to have an adult female companion I should just say, look into a slow relationship. For all I could know, having a romantic relationship may not work at all, and I could’ve wasted 10 years for nothing!
The “experts” need to get their head out of their asses. I can’t say this enough. I also ask for paraprofessionals, professionals, teachers and other cold-hearted people between the hours of 9:00 to 5:00 local time to maybe learn that autistic people are just like you, and instead of not having friends in your outside life that are autistic, to maybe give it a chance? I’m not talking about HS aged people or current professional relationships, but have some freckin unity as we desperately need in my country! I only wished I could be integrated with “normal” Latinos, Blacks, Asians and other people of various backgrounds, and not be forced into a group I find is regressive and a group that won’t rightfully go forward according to my social, political and systemic standards.

I’ve realized I have done some bitching, but many punks in my life have no idea what they have done to me, and how its ok to not be accountable of their actions, their words and their actions. It is men with a certain social standard who have wrongfully been abused and used!
I do not hate women! And I mean that. I respect them! They are very caring people, and they have great talents! Younger ladies is rare, thirtysomethings you have better luck I only have a problem when they go on a political or systemic tirade against one social class for no realistic reason in the general population, and get away with it. Sadly, many are near or post menopausal and they generically look ugly, because they act as if they are fat and ugly. I hate to be so biased, but since ASD and PDD individuals are mostly male, I feel so personally offended to be an adult male because we have to treat women as God.
I only ask to be somewhat happy for my Birthday. But apparently in America that is asking for too much according to all the experts I have to comply since America is now a “1984” society.
P.S. there is one other thing I would want for my birthday. To have more traffic on this blog and more discussions from my readers, because if it weren’t for you (if you even read my blogs) this blog wouldn’t exist.
End of my political/personal rant.

Autistic People Can’t…

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

…fall in love
…have intimate relationships
…have any “normal” friends, only their nerological peers
…publish web logs, because typically they write things that aren’t approprite for the public packet-waves
…can’t leave comments on blogs, only failover to clicking on the “like” button
…have cyber friends
…can’t use dating sites
…can’t meet new people only if they have friends that know new people
..can’t use social networking webstites
…can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t can’t cant can’t can’t* do anything other than be corporate whores!
(*sorry I guess my Betacam tape got “jammed” inside the deck)
If you found this page and you are trying to get answers, well here is a very direct response.
AUTISTIC PEOPLE CAN’T BE SOCIAL WITHOUT COMING OFF AS RETARDED!
AUTISTICS CAN’T TOUCH A GIRL WITHOUT SIGNING UP FOR A LEVEL 3 SEX OFFENDER!
AUTISTICS CAN’T REPRODUCE DUE TO SOME UNWRITTEN FEDERAL RESTRICTION
So to answer the question again, Autistics CANNOT FALL IN LOVE OR HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS!

Why I hate Vday, part six

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

Some of tonight’s TV programs had a Valentine’s Day theme, especially with The Big Bang Theory, and The Office. If you are a fan and you are in the Left Coast, or you live in another locale that runs these programs at other time blocks, I’ll won’t spoil the plots.
But I will say it had drama between encounters with an ex, and the bickering between one or the other couple, depending on what respected show it was.
In the real world, do people really get emotional about an ex? And does their hormones reactivate with the ex lover?
What do I know, I am the true virgin of this blog!

Can I have one of those “Hunk of Love Bear”?

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

I’m watching CNBC, a commercial ran from the Vermont Teddy Bear company and during this time of the year they run various Valentines Day spots (I think they also own Pajama Gram) and they are selling a $100 Hunk of Love bear. It’s a 4′ bear that is perfect for an autistic because it looks so cuddly. I admit I still snuggle with some of my ~~mothers~~ bears. Given I probably won’t fall in love, this could be a nice $100 investment.

Love and Lack of Romance

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

I had a secret agenda of launching this blog back in early September. I used the “relationships” phrase with honest intentions of talking about the bigger picture. But it is easy to get distracted and getting stuck on love and romance.
Something I have never experienced, nor do I expect that I will fall in love.
I am sick and tired of dealing with crushes. They can be really dangerous, and I feel that crushes lead to a depressing road of pain, over dreamy thoughts, and large amounts of guilt.
And I am sick and tired of the ideal of waiting, and when one waits, the time will come. What? Like 2038? I can’t wait for someone to come. At the same time this logic kinda counteracts with the idea that one won’t meet a girl or a guy at home, because they don’t come knocking at your back door. So if one has to hear that on a number of times, then why do these people give you advice to wait?
Makes no sense. Especially in a hustle and bustle world of running their lives like an enterprise. Do they wait for a critical decision to do a business if they’re at work, or wait for the right moment to get that deal? Probably in a socialist world that is acceptable.
I don’t know anything. And I think I am better off being an outsider, because this blog wouldn’t exist as someone wearing a V-tag* I’ve felt like an alien, and I do feel like an outsider looking into a clear glass.
*I can be a sci-fi geek, if you’ve heard of the 80s (that looked like from the 70s) the sci-fi program V you’ll know what I mean!
I’m just like a Lego minifigure looking through a glass window seeing things from an outsider, someone whose a professional who doesn’t have time to have emotions and fun.
And there’s nothing wrong with that!
*

Slutty in the Head

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Clickford, Steven M.

My mind can wander into the gutter, just like other guys as they can be visual and stuff like that.
I can get lusty thoughts up in my head. But of course, I have control my hormones because gawd forbid if I get a little frisky to a girl, then I have to worry about getting assaulted, etc.
Again it is a female majority, so we have to treat them as god, even though god is supposed to be a man. I have to give them high levels of respect.
Even when they dress trashy. We still have to treat them as queen bitches.
I get really offended from people like my mother who gets offended for me checking out a girl who clearly is doing it to get attention. My mother for maybe the rightful reasons has taught me to be “discrete” to visually look at a lady.