Originally written in April of last year in between a break from my therapist to try to do self therapy. On that day I made time to write down everything I had loved with Melanie. Her passing will be on Thursday, the one year anniversary of her suicide. A tragic one…

• A cutie, tiny, figure 5’1, slender figure, brown-eyed-girl with lovely dark hair, that got darker in the summer months with red streaks. Youthful style that only an oddball would be attracted to.
• She was different from any existing females in my life
• Melanie had a strong sense of self awareness
• Melanie spoke either explicitly or implicitly (former on black and white, would do many visual gestures on the latter)
• A true techie-chickie
• Rarely had a blown a fuse… for the most part she had better self control than any other female in my life.
• A soft-spoken girl; but always talked big on verbal communication
• She had confidence in what she believes, what she read, etc.
• Expressing explicit ignorance (“I don’t know”) was never in her vocabulary
• Projected and expected a calm cool collective tone and demeanor
• She was a flirt (many visual gestures)
• Sometimes known for a wild personality
• Graceful, “stoic with a smile*. Anything could fly, and Melanie would conceal her emotions then break down in private when it all would disappear.
• She never pushed her ideals on others; never demanded answers just because she wanted to know
• Melanie learned how to blend into situations
• Melanie had a higher emotional intelligence than on her actual intelligence
• Melanie and I never always seen eye to eye
• Melanie lacked the concept of “core beliefs” (which was a good thing)
• Melanie was aware of the greater world outside her bubble.
• Melanie loved to listen! Melanie always loved to tell stories that were of a positive outcomes to her friends. Melanie’s story telling was more of a color commentary than a play by play.
• Melanie’s humor and wit, was based on one-liners, or words under than 5.
• Melanie made her communications and engagements more complex; by using the least amount of words; and made sure you caught the three to five word jokes.
• She loved her Hondas, the Civic then the CRV. An unapologetic fangirl to Honda. That being born in the year of the Mac, made her a fangirl to Apple and Macs.
• Melanie knew about style.
• Melanie had a big heart. She always loved and cared the people she valued the most.
• She was not some ideal-girl figure, to this day, she a lot of elements of females that were existing on the planet for so many ages. The chances of a realistic expectations (of even a 50%) is 1 and a million.
• Always believed in strength, confidence, and happiness (“Stay Strong. Be Healthy. Be Happy.”)