The Log: Documenting My In-Expirences in Real Time

After my last day program problems in the period of the Hopeless Autistic, I started to do documentation, one for my own accountability, and second to see how long a turnaround of tasks would take. I started to use Filemaker Pro and realized very important to document things.

The first version was created and went live in mid 2017; an update occurred with a new database in 1Q of 2018. In this verison, there is more than 400 Tracking Numbers, that have specific events. The Related Tracking Numbers or RTNs were cross-references (manually) to other instances (or later would become incidents.)

The FileMaker Pro database logged almost everything in my life- even for positives.

Sadly the FMP database was the crash course of what was it like to experience narcissistic abuse. In fact, people who are recovering from said abuse are often the ones that document like crazy. Most often, I had taken my MacBook and used TextEdit (sometimes Microsoft Word would slow things up.) On a good day, you got a paragraph summary. By 2019, when shit hit the fan, the documents would be line by line, play by play, real time transcriptions of the exchanges of the pissing matches of the ex-1 on 1 (“Aly”) and later the hack manager who I call “Jackass”.

The turnaround time or if an event a situation got re escalated you updated the dates and make an note on the Short narrative

This was extremely critical to refer to this database when processing the abuse I went through and sadly without tooting my horn, I came out as the lone “adult in the room”, a phrase used throughout this situation. It obviously ended on March 13th, 2020, as the pandemic started to get concerning. They knew that I would take time off, and as a result they didn’t have the class to tell me that they would not renew my services scheduled to lapse in April, until I sent the letter of “not renewing” in May, of which they responded.

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