I don’t life a life that most people do. While most people “live life to” their “fullest” I am one that is paranoid, concerned, on alert. I can’t enjoy “life.” I can’t relax. When I relax, I forget things, or not expect the unexpected. My life to date has been about the truth, and dealing with it. (one of those examples is about my autism.)
I don’t get much sleep. My eyes get baggier and baggier (and even with my asian blood, it doesn’t do much to my looks) and more and more lines on my forehead. I just fear the unknown and the unexpected because in this crazy, perverted world, like people are getting more and more scrutinized and the way the stupid libs (and the nerds forcing black boxes on everything) that are controlling the world, we may never recover from the financial mess a few years ago. And as much as I am mad and bitter at the libs, I am mad and bitter at the conservatives who still can’t get the severity of autism.
I am still scared to death if the system does fall apart again and I have to be yet another victim of a messed up system.
I am scared if I am going to die in N.H. by a wreckless rich socialpath person, or die in Massachuestts from a wreckless government governed by socialpathic politicians.
I just can’t relax or bad things will happen. I defend this behavior/thought process/feelings.