Twenty five years ago, in late 1999, the latter days of the 20th century, I was told the bad news that would change me forever. For most higher functioning autistics (HFA is not used because it’s not a clinical word) they have validation, By fifth grade, I knew I was somewhat different, but as I had the middle school hell that lead into the curse of being Out of Districted, mixed with a toxic/feminist ideals of male students, then I could never really recover because it was years later, years after denying I was really autistic (of which ended five years ago to the day) I felt being so delegitimized that I could never recover.

It was said in recent years by my mother that she had pushed off diagnosis because she was concerned that I’d be defined by “the label” Well I wonder now if FOB had said that to me in 1999 in preparations that the teachers would weaponize my label against me as if I chose to be odd, almost guilt-towards-compliance attitude. In case you forgot my original diagnosis was formally done when I was 7 which was 30 years ago this year, but it was told to me five years later.

I never really recovered to pre early 1999 levels of confidence and self worth. I say “early 1999”, because i have not told the story until five years ago because the women forgot childhood time perception. There was lots of social growth from I say March to June of that year, that clearly wasn’t seen or understood. I do not understand how people with a responsive soul would treat little boys as if they can’t be anything useful. Not to mention that I had pre-ABA treatment that was implemented really poorly and behavior analytics is not good for a program that is supposed to be for individuals.

Sadly for New Hampshire, I don’t think this has changed that much. But don’t expect Dan Habib to produce a serious film on restraint and seclusion.