Life (with ASD) Issues

Lack of Social Networking = No Growth Potential

Clickford, Steven M.

From the other site

I’m writing this after a recent encounter on the ride home from the turnpike where I saw some toll taker that is about my age or even younger, cute and attractive. Many people are much older than I am. I’ve seen her before and she’s I believe married.

Living in a suburban area that is borderline rural and not rural just north of a big city is not easy. I’ve grown up in a large suburban town, where for most of my life, I didn’t grow up there, because I spent more time down in Massachusetts. I’ve repeated this story a number of times, for the people that know me well, middle school hell and high school insanity that impacts almost all adolescents.

Obviously I lost contact with almost every one of them. A vast majority of the kids I went to school are living in large urban cities, much further away from where they grew up, even one I know lives down under. I also do not think these kids are ever coming back to where they call home (as many aren’t also even married or having children and they have or are hitting three-zero themselves.) New Hampshire is the state for the hard tight republican types. New Hampshire was nice growing up, but a pain to live as an adult. It’s nice to visit as an adult but it’s much better to live an a “tolerant” urban locale.

This snobbery and arrogance is what isn’t helping my group. We don’t have a choice to pick our bags and travel to any state, especially in some locations institutions still exist, and the same group of people have limited tolerance for people with autistic or other developmental disorders. I’ve been pushed to the bone to find “peers” and be with my “peers” I always thought that those “peers” were normal “people of my own age”. And apparently because I am still longing for this over a decade later, I guess I am doing something wrong.

Now how do I grow my social circle? Go out and make yourself known. Ok, so how can that next step of trying to get people to be in contact? Business cards are just as bad as an attempt to befriend people on Facebook. I’ve been denied by a number of people who I had frequent contact, it’s not like I met a Barista and asked to befriend her on Facebook the day after.

The social world is not what is taught in special education. It’s really a Banana Republic, and quite often, the fast-paced changing world of clueless teenagers as thirty year olds known as the Millenial generation does not help matters.

I’d rather have friends who are objects at this point. Because I am tired of being treated like a dog by my “peers”. I can’t tell you one person outside of my immediate circle that was born after 1980 that has much respect to have a meaningful acquaintance, friendship, and the ability to grow social connections and business opportunities.  And because of this, I’ve been “stuck”, and it has exasperated my ability to grow. 

What I have come to except is that the ability to grow my socialization to the masses will be a lost cause, which in 2016 was the year of accepting that harsh reality.

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The Lack of Direct Support Professionals

Clickford, Steven M.

2017 Update: I still have not found a dedicated DSP outside of my program.

For adults with autism spectrum disorders, at least in my backyard; finding good help is one thing; finding help at all is even worse.

Direct support professionals (also known as DSPs, caretakers, caregivers, respite workers, etc.) is supposed to be a growing trend by 2020. The difference between DSPs and the traditional sense, is there is more standards, competencies and even ethics. While it’s good in the abstract, I find it flawed as the c-suite will continue to possibly hire incompetent managers and continue to operate unethically.

For my case, a simple DSP to take me out for fun to get away from the horrible realities of living with autism in a region regressing in service delivery, oppressive special needs systems, etc, took nearly 6 months from concept to a possible new hire. I went through every professional acquaintances  and – nothing! Even my remaining Massachusetts connections – and no luck!

Is it a case of if its too good to be true then it must be?  or is it “I don’t want to work with an autistic, because they are slow childlike boys- I can’t stand those people.”

You know who I accuse this of? Bad leadership in New Hampshire. Bad training standards (because they are taught to find “flaws” with the individuals, glorify the negativity and dilute any positive abilities of the students or clients.)

What’s worse is the training is hard to come by here in this state with the various conferences relevant to special needs. I blame the Granite State being so desperate, they’ll take out of staters who clearly want to oppress the severely autistics and train future professionals the negativity as the headline and any positives as a footnote.

I’m in my late twenties, and I haven’t been active in any advocacy or became an agent of some change till recent years. But from what I’ve gathered from the outside was that the state’s better years could’ve been the days when the Great Stone Face was still up in Franconia Notch – nearly 12 years to the day. But around 2003, remember, many of them just became of age, or would become of age. So in the days of progress, there were few people on the autism spectrum as adults, as so many were children, and in those days many were suffocating of big heavy smoke of destructive political actions of the leadership of the time.

I feel like its worse living in New Hampshire and with autism than years past! Why are we settling to such a low level? I call this Unanswered questions.