Hopeless Hangover

What great start to a long month to date. The local indie station in the market reshares photos sent to the station using a well-known hashtag. Finally I had. been seen. But before that I was struggling to be seen by the local media. I had been in a contact with a now former Boston media news personality and that individual was ghosting-me in the sense that the individual would be quick to respond if it was in that individual’s interest but was unable to pay it forward to help me. That litmus test was following an essay published in Boston Magazine for the February issue (now you can figure out who I am referring to and if you know that individual, the oldest offspring is autistic.)

I was also laid off from BCOP-TV as part of a 20 minifigure after bombing the February Sweeps with low rated stories, including Tuned Out. So feeling just seen, and barely heard, and unsure how the Minifig Newsguy can work out in the long term, I started to inform my followers that I am taking some from of a long term leave of absense from my platforms (with occasional posts.

In the midst of this, I took a spur of the moment plan to go to Portsmouth, NH for a 4-day weekend. That turned out to become a 5-night weekend because my scheduling gyped me a week because the February short month discount. It all worked out, my mother worked on site for 1/2 the day on the 1st and took me to Portsmouth, just over 24 hours the day before she booked the room and for the first time ever in my life was I prepared within a day to be out of the home for more than several days.

The very long weekend was not a complete waste, but it would progress into one social mishap to another… by Friday evening, after being at a local bar of a pizza joint I have frequented since the days of SLC, the bartender (ironically named “Stephanie”… given female name for a princess and a potential stiff bitch) I lost it. While I heard cursing and yelling outside on the sidewalks, I started to record a “voice note” despite it was recorded on a Canon Vixia prosumer ENG camera… and then lost it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF3V0wNSy0o

“I feel so lonely, that not one soul would understand the pain I am going through”

And hell yeah, no one did kinda check in on me.

What really this was was the detoxing of 3 1/2 decades of feeling like a dust mite, really just soulless human being, where my life has flashed by and it apparently is all my fault. The way the American public opinion is heading by the hard-right, authoritative theocrats is not only hold-yourself-by-the-bootstraps, but take your own problems in your own hands and fix your own problems without telling the world.

I have, and it hasn’t and that’s why I posted this.

Well you shouldn’t be doing that, that’s for sissy gay little boys, you aren’t working hard enouugh.

Well I have

WORK HARDER!

And this the rhetoric I am dealing with indirectly.

#

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *