Steven’s Blog

Are Dating Sites Even Worth It?

Clickford, Steven M.

Over the last decade, I’ve used various dating sites or apps. I’ll be direct and say I have tried virtually all of them. Since then, Match-dot-com has acquired  all the major domestic dating sites and apps from OKcupid to Tinder, to Plenty of Fish and even more apps. Once owned by IAC/InterActive Corp, ran by the ex Fox-Czar, Barry Diller, the company today only has about 14% of the market share domestically; but yet the Trust Busters, of the Dept of Justice doesn’t see them as a monopoly.

…the more liberal the female, the more anti-male she is, and the closer she’s south and east of Mass 128; or is in higher education at some institution within that beltway, she’ll be less tolerant to men because the institutions make men look bad…

What Women have Lacked on Dating Platforms

I am going to tell you what I feel about dating sites; and how gentlemen are always screwed over by out control females.

  • Lack of reason or realistic expectations From the view of a female, they really believe there is a Mr. Right. We can thank millennial and Disney for giving the Disney Girls a bad perspective on the dream-guy.
  • Girls are always complaining about what guy they don’t want: Yet they cannot or often fail to provide constructive language of what they are looking for. They get vague on what they want, but get dark of what they aren’t looking for.
  • 95% of the men in the world are strange; compared to their 98%. I cannot speak for women; but if they are putting themselves out there; there is a risk there’s going to be weirdos, on both genders but NOT ALL MEN ARE CREEPS. FULL STOP. NO DISCUSSION
  • Small-talk is NOT OK, but yet it’s suggested to be an ice breaker. I cannot underscore the mixed messages girls/ladies are asking for. From a male’s perspective; and from my perceptive, we have to walk with broken eggshells because women can be erratic online. You almost can’t say anything to them.
  • Living in the Greater Boston region: the more liberal the female, the more anti-male she is, and the closer she’s south and east of Mass 128; or is in higher education at some institution within that beltway, she’ll be less tolerant to men because the institutions make men look bad, but #MeToo turned that into a double-standard.
  • Doubting if one is catfished, referring to the infamous MTV series. While data is not available, I as a one time user, wondered if these females were really real, and majority of the guys were dealing with women faking themselves on the platforms. This is being based on the perception that men are catfishing countless women like how many of the people who appeared on the series. (It should be noted, that in the original indie film, Catfish – it was a married woman who played with Nev’s soul on Facebook.)
  • Women are insistent to control the platforms to their agendas Ladies are actually using Tinder to seek relationships, like LTR types  despite the app’s reputation for a casual dating or the flagship app for a one night stand!  Women have no accountability to take responsibility for whatever app or service they use and not understand the overall expectations. Like with any app, I used Tinder for a period of time to just play with it to see how it worked, of course knowing the general expectation. However my perception of the app was forced to be changed when I saw women wanted more than sex-like experiences.

Social Deficiencies as a Systematic Issue

While an elder girl hits-the-figurative-wall by 30, as her reproductive abilities shrink in multitude for every year that follows to the menopausal stage; she needs to adapt her views to something more realistic, such as finding a 5 out of a 10 guy, or someone who isn’t so perfect looking or perfect in personality.  I will refuse to use sexual market value or the coded SMV language, as that would be sexist; but I will say that if a girl does not look as youthful and fit, men won’t like that either.

The rise of feminism, and female liberations along with the infamous #MeToo movement (again there’s absolutely no excuse, full stop, no discussion from Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly, the late Roger Ailes, or Les Moonves, Matt Lauer, etc.)  HOWEVER these creeps of the male population is likely than a fraction of one percentage point!

Advice for dating sites often suggest men to change their behaviors; and yet females with the Dreamy-Guy-Who-Kn0ws-How-To-Take-Care-of-Me-Without-A-Roadmap; is never told to tone her expectations down. Men are always stupid and are murders out of a Lifetime Movie.

I blame this on the Web, its Graphical User Interface, of checking boxes to getting the dream guy; while this writer, that is believed to be a gentleman was open to any individual female. The ability to attempt to find love for the last generation is really a smoke-in-the-mirrors than some happy fairy tale.

Sadly I have to say I have been abused, and exploited more by women than I would never would think of doing it to them.

I don’t blame the girl or female in question, I blame her parents. Chances are the ones who never respond or always has a grief towards men and make a deal with it on her profiles, had a sister figure that in reality was her mother; and the most hated man in her life was her father, the man who helped create that human being.

Can We Learn from Other Cultures (if hell we are going to be a Multicultural nation anyway?)

I’ll end it with this: Either last year or 2018, I was getting pizza at one of the places on the Hampton strip on Ocean Blvd. The girl had a different skin tone, likely a Latino. I smiled at her, I kinda visually flirted with her. After taking my order to walk back to the beach; I heard the elder man who also was working the counter; that could be old enough to be her father (if he wasn’t) said within earshot “he likes you”.

I think learning from other cultures is highly important, because it’s in that group that Americans need to be reminded, and be taught to have social skills. I have came to a conclusion that women have not been taught the same level of social expectations a guy has; and the guy has to take that load by being unfairly single. Sadly I have to say I have been abused, and exploited more by women than I would never would think of doing it to them.

America is no longer a responsible country with grown adults, it’s a one way street and one has to be 200% responsible, and the other half has protected-class to do whatever they want. By telling the context of this post; the reader should know who I am referring this to. You do the thinking.

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Is the American “Mother”-figure Harmful to Society?

Clickford, Steven M.

I’ve done research on growth and development of the human race against other species. Animals and creatures live less, but develop really quickly compared to the human. The average human fully develops by their early 20s, and yet our lifespan has grown expeditiously since the dawn of time. However at the level of a  mother’s biological system, it’s almost as if it’s pre-biblical times.

In recent years, say since the radical 60s, mothers have expanded their responsibilities of not just protecting their children from physical or imminent harm, to protecting their psyche. Starting with some of the Gen-Xers, Millennials and Gen Z are stereotypically known for having overprotective parenting, that lead into the “helicopter parenting” practices. This is mostly a mother derivative practice, leading to children to grow up with a perception that they are entitled, are unable to handle let downs (hence the start of the “Participation Trophy”) and the enablement of micromanaging the child’s life literally hour to hour, day to day. It’s presumed this is at the mother’s side not on the father’s side because statistically it’s mostly the female to the offspring that has these traits over the male (or father.)

But despite to popular views; is the on-paper good-mama-bear good for everyone else? And why should they care?

Because their adult (or hierarchal) “children” are burdening society of their broken ego, and ability to self-survive on the basic, or the most trivial things. These people who are barely biological adults, or even barely with an adult mind; are incapable because the mama-bear figure disabled their ability to:

  • think independently
  • the ability to have self -awareness
  • the ability to have self-understanding to the world around them, because mama-bears tend to “instruct” their children to the point there is a completely proper way, and a “wrong way”, and the “kids” can’t figure on their own what’s right and not right.

While in society people mock them as “special snowflakes” no one has the audacity to blame this on the parents (mostly the mothers) for enabling the idea to disable the children from being independent individuals. TV series like The Goldbergs, and even worse for special needs parents,  Speechless gives a confirmation bias of it’s perfectly OK to overprotect your children, and that because it’s on TV it must be real.

In researching for this post: I had seen some claims if this had to do with single parenting. I do not like to discuss that issue at all because I come from a single family.  One issue that I have not seen elsewhere but seen on social media years back about single mamas identifying themselves as “the love of a mother with a strength of a father”. For one thing that is scientifically false because the contrarian view is that women and men are different. A woman can’t be a bi-gender individual because most often the estrogen takes control on everything. They can’t be “strong” and “supportive” because the hormones calls for emotion and protection; most often a single mother will be a smother/overprotective, etc.

This goes back to the issues with the most at risk, not “special snowflakes” but individuals with disabilities. The mother is by default, almost entirely the “caretaker” and the word “care” implies protection and physical indemnification. Moms are rewarded for further disabling the children, already enhancing emotional instabilities and the inability to self-control.

Mothers rarely are held accountable for their inactions, and are always rewarded like they are a sister/bestie to the hierarchal child. Instead of celebrating backass parenting practices, the easiest thing is to delegitimize the group of sisters, and not celebrate Mother’s Day as it doesn’t celebrate the have-nots like the woman who created the day, who wasn’t one.

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VOIP Security in 2020 – How to Defend Your Right For a Defensive Telephony Network

Clickford, Steven M.

When seeking for SIP Trunks, or “Cloud PBX” or “Cloud Phone systems”, they are mostly provided by an Internet Telephony Service Provider known as an ITSP, believe it or not. Some coaxial ISPs like Comcast Business, Charter/Spectrum or Cox will also bundle this for their “Business Class” offerings. SIP would not work to scale on DSL, better on bonded T1 lines. While the Internet (the data/web) is considered to be Title II of the FCC regulations, the FCC has put some conditions to VOIP service providers. Your freedoms are not well as celebrated in theory like the ol Part 68/Carterfone ruling; because of the provisions the FCC put in as well as Kari’s Law for Enhanced 9-1-1 services (let’s not touch that anymore.)

I acquired these Polycom phones from a local business that was relocating. I grabbed them without really the intent of actually using them because it’s Polycom and it’s VOIP and the two together is an oxymoron, because I started to realize how bad SIP was. What’s concerning was when I took these phones, I realized they were connected directly to Comcast Business, and while today IP Polycoms are in the mainstream, the lack of any firewall protection is concerning for the overall security.

As a customer (and not a consumer); you can throw-away-the-script by using phrases like

“How are these phones going to connect with my existing network?

“What concerns should I have with security?”

“Wait, I am responsible for something right?”

“I have a SIP Proxy being implemented, and my ‘IT Manager*’ telling me we need this interconnected or we’re done!”

*he doesn’t exist because the person that’s talking, has a part time IT manager in their role!

The best way of scoring deals is to do reversed-sales tactics, and go on the offense as your best defense. Put the sales person in the call center into the fetal position (ok that’s too far) but in a way to get a higher up so then you’re holding the sales person at the ISP or ITSP accountable. This is how customer service used to be, then they went “consumer” (or dumbed-it-down) to then force the customer, the not so well versed communicated type to do anything the enterprise class ISP would tell ’em to do.

Even better, throw a Service Level Agreement to ensure if the imaginary lines go down in the packetwaves, that you can get credited in the next billing cycle for loss of potential revenue. Make sure you can reproduce the problem so you can ensure you did your part.

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How Social Media Influencers Ruined Non Linear Editing

Clickford, Steven M.
About 95% of the content I consume on YouTube are mostly “influencers” who use Final Cut Pro (or as another YouTuber would sarcastically call it Final Slut Pro) or Adobe’s Premiere. No one from my research uses any versions of Avid. I suspect there are more indie users of ProTools than Media Composer by tenfold.
By no means am I favoring any company in this post, rather to highlight companies back in the 1980s where believe it or not, there was the technology possible to do what you theoretically do on your mobile device. In some ways, the technology back then still kicks the asses of anything modern.

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How to Implement Cisco Call Manager Express at Home

Clickford, Steven M.2 Comments

Updated in 2023 to include compliance to the Fucking Kari Hunt Law… since PBX systems kill women… not deranged men!

The future is all IP

The Future will be Rewritten to be all VOIP.

Cisco is the future.

Just kidd.

In seriousness, if you’re all wired at home, or you are interested in wiring up your home for multi line telephony or have the ability to answer calls from a number of phones or internally call people from within… I think given the consolidation and the access to them, the recommended path is to Cisco. As much as I can’t stand a lot of their technology, you do not need to need  to have everything running on Cisco to do Cisco telephony. Being frank. I have switches using Netgear, and I have some third party endpoints.

The advantage with Cisco is

  •  The “Gold-standard” in VOIP
  • Much easier to acquire, at a reasonable secondhand price (other devices that may be even better like MultiVOIP gateways, are really expensive)
  • Gets your feet wet into other platforms such as wireless, firewalls (ASA), etc.
  • Voice quality sounds better than any standard POTS phones, using the same POTS wiring from your phone company
  • They are more open to the standards-based, meaning you don’t have to be a Cisco showoff at the tables, desks. You could use SIP phones from other vendors now than historically.

I am writing this because a lot of the content out there is shit. Whether it’s written by guys who haven’t had proofread his own copy, or someone with U.S. English as a Second Language; or people who are so elitest with their Cisco certs, they’re like “it is (what it is!)”

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“We”…

Clickford, Steven M.

Just as annoying as “aka” in complete cash  context, I am fed up, I mean FED UP with the use of “we”…

“We won the 2004 World Series… they lost in the 2005 playoffs!”

referring to the Boston Red Sox fans. This applies to the other New England teams as well.

Boston sports is actually amusing how much “ownership” there is collectively. I don’t hear this in other parts of the local environment. I hear more “we” from technical people. It’s that peer-culture that started to degrade personal responsibility, no one will ever be faulted for any inactions, except when it’s only convenient. It’s almost Orwellian like, not IBM, not Apple’s New World order, but really out of the 1984 playbook; because it’s ironic because the group-think, NewOldspeak in hi tech originated at that same time. Information Technology came around in the late 1980s; and the IBM 5150 and Macintosh came out earlier that decade.

One way to look the appropriate use of “we”  is is something ala Live PD, where former or current police personnel who would* be on their panel and say “in this situation, we would [x, y and/or z]”. In this case of using “we”, the professional is providing a realistic context of what the viewer is watching in the one of the best reality series on TV (that’s if you watch it live!)

*the series is currently “suspended” with the 2020 Cancel Culture

 

In many of the YouTubers, it’s easy to highlight the use of “we”, and it’s not even close to being collective, the “collective-we” There is no rhyme or reason or even rational logic of Krazy Ken having the rights to speak for others or even BBishop* to sound inclusive I can’t even understand it! I am not in Krazy Ken’s basement 10 stories below ground level, how does he know how crazy I am with the ARM replacement on the Macs? Or how would Brandon know I am willing to see if something gets restored?

*despite him living locally, I do not know him

I have felt the technical-heavy use of “we” actually derives from the fake-team culture that we (yes I am using it appropriately) can blame that IT culture that ruined personal responsibility.

What do I mean?

“You!”, “They!” “Us” vs “them”.

Divide and Conquer! When things go wrong, the “we” culture starts the finger-pointing. It also shows vulernabilities if you use peer-centric languages. In teaching ideas and thoughts, it’s highly inappropriate to use “we”, “our”, “us” because if you are teaching me something that I am responsible for, at what point does the line get crossed? Only when it’s convenient for you?

I am guilty of it too! When I did some streams for TMOT, I caught myself using “we” and then redirected. It’s live IPTV, so it’s easy to screw up like ol TV.

I will be working on a series for any strangers that wants a well documented How-To on Cisco IP Telephony. I  will show you- yes you – an individual on how to implement a CallManager Express instance for your home, on hardware or software that I do not own. Because I don’t infringe on others, and I take responsibility for my content, there will not be a use of “we” in the multi part series.

Can “we” all agree that the use of “we” as a pronoun to describe an assumed group of emotions and passion has crossed a line, to divide individuals in society? Can we agree that “you”, “I”, and perhaps use “us” and “they” or “them” at times?