In the experience with my paternal family a couple years back, one striking observation was how many partners they had and how many fractured siblings were both in my generation and my father’s generation. There is at least I’d say based on memory 4 half cousins and siblings, and 2 paternal grandfathers, 3 shared one, the other was from the other. I can’t even write properly because it’s so confusing.

It’s ironic because it appears that the family is very traditional, but I do not think having children from from at least more than one partner is the most healthiest thing for that bullshit idea of the “nuclear family”.

But nothing can be worse than a father not ever admitting the creation of this writer.

Regardless, what the Ayottes lack is what I aspire to have. I just want to be with one person who can be treasured, valued, admired with no fears that she’d be disposed.

I do not know what “love” means, because there has been no point of reference of what can be a good relationship.