I grew up in Londonderry, New Hampshire, one of the largest populated towns in the state of New Hampshire. The population at the time I left was 22,000, but registered voters was really around 12,000, which means there was nearly 10,000 children (because that’s a good barometer to get a real feel of whose the grownups in town.) Many of my peers registered to vote, but never voted in town in Londonderry, when they became adults.
This predates to when you could see the voter rolls, because it was pursuant to RSA 91a, but you know the women’s interest groups (err Domestic Violence organizations) fought their way to make it private because men apparently use it to stalk women, or some batshit crazy defense. (Let me be clear, the women’s groups in New Hampshire is much different in other states, because women have rights without responsibilities that come with the freedom to be an adult female.) As a result, more corruption at the individual level was protected. Jesus, I miss the analog days…
Anyways, most of my typical peers were not exposed to my groups of people after I departed to go out of district. The Class of 2005, was pretty ritzy, they were known as the “Stay Classy” year (in reference to Anchorman, the film that came out the summer before their graduation.) They are far from that to be honest. Most of them graduated 4 year colleges and never returned back to their stomping ground (a 90% rate). Except for the 4% of 2 year students, where they were closer. Those people were the most hurtful groups. One classmate lived in my town for a while, some lived in Middlesex County. While 10 closest Facebook-friends I had were in the area, and admitted they only were friends with one as years gone by (most severed real-world contact in 2010, nearly 5 years after graduation), and even that they didn’t have the audacity to be honest with me.
Not to mention for a number of years (I do not know when the last formal in person reunions are, but apparently the class president is the one responsible for organizing.) Facebook went online a year before, and many the ritizer students had access Facebook that same year in 2005-06 because the university email was allowed (beit the lower Ivy Leagues.) Again back to the more earthier students, the ones closer to reality, they weren’t that close in the region either.
I purged my first Facebook in the fall of 2010 after relocating and started to come back as early as 2016 under my new identity (albeit still waiting to make it legal, even if Melanie is dead.) Apparently according to one of these Facebook-friends (hyphenated should be emphasized orally) they “always wondered” where I was, but what do they mean by “wondered”? Like a gawker?
This told me some dirty little secrets of Londonderry, NH. One was the “mainstreaming” atypicals with typicals did not provide communal outcomes. Past or even the future. The second was the community’s overall tolerance. Well they tolerated me, but didn’t accept me. There is a difference in words, tolerance just means that you’re a fly on the wall; acceptance means you’re on the level of the typicals, at least socially.
Sadly, the class of 2005, (or hell even 2006) did not see the latter, but the former. Meaning they didn’t see me as a high functioning autistic, just south of tyical, but I was further south, meaning I was closer to that resource-room kid.
Sadly. I am probably the only atypical Londonderry student of that age that’s on Facebook or on social media period. I do not recall every student in the LEEP program (the now early education/intervention between 3-5), and notes do not have full names however…
I have spoken very critically of an Asshole, sorry Adult Fan of Lego who was well known in the southern tier of the U.S. in the AFOL circles. Despite their attempt for rewriting history, he was a LEEPer. This was thanks to the lovely management who did recruit some typicals into the kindergarten program before Moose Hill was established in 2001. The bullshit artists would say this would enhance some tolerance, and other smoke in the mirrors bullshit lies; but in reality the Ahole fan of Lego, and a couple other ex-LEEPers would go on big and the rest of us atypicals got fucked as usual.
Let’s just say blogs and politics doesn’t go well, even if I came to my sense after 2008. Excuse me while I try find his Blogger…
My biggest fear, is how Millennials do not “get” us. In a very intellectually wealthy town of Londonderry, very few (IF ANY) got into the field of either Special Education or being a Direct Support Professional. None of them apparently other family members who suffered or struggled with their autistic condition. Further underscoring the feeling of loneliness being autistic, being told after the “Middle School Hell” and the PDD-NOS being the death-sentence for my life.
Apparently it depended on a specific part of a street you lived on. More than a mile west of where I grew up was the backway to the upper class neighborhoods. Many of these students live in Ivy-League stopping grounds (such as the big cities and the suburbs near there.) Because my mother wore a bunny suit for a living, I got screwed over socially, emotionally and even hopes for higher education. The Londonderry girls didn’t tolerate anyone below them.
Many years later, things never really changed. I found out this by talking to the founding head of the Best Buddies Chapter of New Hampshire on a Zoom call last spring. The chapter was founded, from what I was told from the founding leader – a family member of theirs had a similar experience to this individual, had all social contacts in the elementary school, until entering the Londonderry Middle School, and suddenly lost everyone. May I also add, the family member is now at LHS. In short, the narrative was the same, just regurgitated to another family member, add a couple decades. I guess it’s better late than never.
To end it with my situation, what’s really concerning is how the Millennials well into their 30s are still as socially immature in their teenage years. They can’t self-reflect, self-correct and be self-aware. May I say these people are typically developed? They were quick to hold me accountable whenever I felt things didn’t go as ideal, but they never apologized with sincerity of any wrongdoings on their part. It was the #SorryNotSorry approach. Sadly some are having children, and I wonder how many of these offsprings will corrupt future people with a condition like mine.
When the silents and Boomers pass, when the GenXers get too old, even with 100 million other Americans, I will feel even more lonelier than I was before. Even around a group of people, I still feel like I have been left out, that I am not good enough, that I am not on the level, that I am on the level of my peers that are seen in day programs. The idea that these adults acting like adolescents 15-20 years after, is just jarring to compute. It’s the kind of shit the Fraud on Nashua’s Broad Street would have some excuse to give to these people. I swear to God if she was still alive, she would have a convenient excuse for these people.
I bet if you are one of these people that graduated from LHS during that time, you may think I am some pathological dude that never had anything go my way, and I am some entitled brat, but you folks act and talk entitled too and that’s OK, is that because you’re typical and I am legally not?
Stay Classy, and go Fuck Yourselves as Ron Burgundy said in one of the lines of said film!