It used to be back in the days before the whiner generation (aka the Millennials and Gen X) that people would start to settle down in their lives in their mid twenties. So since this writer is in his mid twenties, and one who hasn’t had any positive romantic experiences, it would be of interest to explain why this writer has concerns about marriage.
Cost
The cost of getting married has very little to do legal procedures (unless you want to go forward with a prenuptual – which I find absurd because I believe once you get married, you stay married unless there is an obscene form of an infidelity or death.) I’ll get to that later about prenups.
The other issue about cost, is typically the groom pays for the majority of the costs of the wedding, the reception, etc. Now, my mother is the only parent in my life, whom of which is a single. If you want to put my grandmother in the mix, that’s fine. My mother is essentially a middle class worker, and my grandmother is retired and living off fixed income benefits, so my mother probably would have to put money down on that, which I can’t even think of an average cost off the top of my head,
The other issue is finding a girl who would have accepting parents to someone who is probably going to be poorer than his wife and her parents. I live in a snobby region, (here I go not accepting richer people.)
Honeymoons (and that 3 letter dirty word)
Now a honeymoon is typically a standard after a marriage that takes place. And from what I know a honeymoon is a code word for the first occurrence of a sexual relationship for the first time ever (if you subscribe fully to the New Testament of the Bible) or the first occurrence since marriage. To me, the idea of a honeymoon for essentially a subliminal event is just overrated.
Maybe its still the child inside of me who is scared of sex. (I mentioned about this subject recently.) And where would I go for that? I typically don’t care for warm weather, and I just don’t get the whole idea of it except for just fucking* my new wife (if that ever was to happen.)
* fuck – to have a sexual intercourse [typically with penis to vaginal] – I wanted to explain what that word really means when I say it.
Acceptance of the Wife’s family
Another issue is that dysfunctional families aren’t just isolated in the biological, or immediate family, the in-laws have a contributing factor of potential gridlock of being united together. Part of my frustrations is that I have not found a way to succeed or overcome my dysfunctions with my autism spectrum disorder or ASD as of yet. I’ve struggled with social issues, because I made one too many social mistakes as a kid so I am punished by having to put a gun to my head by not making mistakes. As such, I have basically isolated myself from the “real world” or dare I say the skeptical world. This baggage along with everything else has also made me frozen by not looking at work programs because I feel ashamed of my disorder. So yet again, I am in this vicious circle of “doing the right thing™*” but yet I still am screwed ether way.
*Potential trademark of Dr. Laura Selessenger/Clear Channel Radio/Premiere Radio Networks
So while struggling to “doing the right thing”, its difficult to find an accepting girl in an un accepting society filled of entitled brats and snobby people. On top of that, the girl might have rich parents that might look down at a potential “looser.” It doesn’t help that you are also a guy in his mid twenties that might be allegedly surviving just barely on “welfare” like benefits, on top of that being very busy trying to find his happiness and his future hopes and dreams in between finding a job. So there is so much pressure that’s put to a “lost boy” stereotype or even a “looser” (insert the Bart Simpson tone to that.)
If I wanted to get married to a girl, I would like a healthy relationship with her parents, her potential siblings (which might be a must since I never had siblings and I am not sure if its better not to have or to have such) and maybe her respective grandparents, because typically a mother and a father have two sets of respective their mothers and fathers.
Maybe this paragraph is too Utopian.
The Wedding Vows (and the Interpretation of such)
I don’t typically talk about religion, spirituality or even afterlife because its a conterversal subject, and its best to keep discussions off the Web and in your disconnected living room. Typically the vows goes something like this:
“I [suchandsuch] take this bride/groom
to love and behold
for richer or for poor
in sickness and health
until death do us part”
That last line is actually the dealbreaker. So a marriage is null and void when ether one dies. So basically the spouse goes away and the marriage is all over. So ether legally, or socially, love is not forever or eternal! If one of us don’t die together, s/he is gone! And I won’t be married to her in afterlife because of what the vow states! Why remarry to someone if the same thing were to happen?!
So with that being said, I am still on the fence about “marriage.” That doesn’t mean that you, a “normal” reader to this blog should use this post as an excuse to not get married and still be in a long term relationship and not attempting to tie the knot.
