Category Archives: “Friends”

Love is like an Allergy

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There is little cure to allergies.
Its like you are allergic to nuts. As much as you want to be like everyone else to enjoy eating nuts without worrying about dying, you can’t have it.
That is the same to love.
My allergic reaction is I cry and melt down to tears.
Love is a known allergy to me. I call it a “neurological allergy”  Given my autism, and my miswired brain, I have a hard time understanding it. And who the hell is out there (other than an autistic girl – which are extremely rare forms of humans in this subculture)  that would want to fall in love with me?
I can’t think of any. I hear crickets.
The leadership (aka the ones who scare these people to death) doesn’t help.
I’ve never been kissed nor do I really care at this point.
But going back to the allergy part, is you have to accept your differences and lower your expectations. Like I said, I’m essentially an android that has an native app in my BootROM that can have emotions while everyone else can be heartless, careless, hateful and not be fully tolerant.
Love is a sin
Love is blind  – and its indecent
Love should be private
Love is greedy
Love is for selfish people
Love takes away of all the other things you and other people used to love.
Love is just a 4 letter word that the Federal Communications Commission should prohibit on the public airwaves of radio, over the air TV and on pay cable networks.
Its a joke!
 

Friends – the WRONG WAY to seek new people

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The world is so perverted it makes me cry.

I feel that I do not have any futures other than working my ass off and getting money (if there is still an economy.)
The reason why I don’t have more than a few friends, is because I suffer with a developmental disability that’s messed up my brain on the inside. And for that, it has disabled my rights to have a decent expectations of life.

Meanwhile, I had seen video on YouTube on tricks from how to tell if a guy likes you, to how to tell you if a shy guy likes you to even how to talk to one and get a number and text. Like I have said before it is wrong, illegal in social standards, and is considered inappropriate to begin with, according to the experts of the autism world, who happen to be women, a gender that often give conservative guidance, avoids risks and are generally a skeptical group of people. Not so in the series of videos:

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FES_b0coXFQ

these were just a sample of what I had seen the last day or so.
Going back to my original point, I am not just talking about getting a  girl/friend, I am just saying how CAN I talk to a “stranger” and talk to them on the phone or SMS, or whathaveyou.
I can’t.

I have to be in the shallow level, do things the 18th Century way of using my existing small pool of existing relationships for them to network, because afterall I’m allegedly dumb (at least in the social department), so therefore kiss the idea of networking goodbye!
I can’t believe people can befriend strangers on websites like Facebook and in some cases become “acquaintances”, friends, close friends to a romantic partner, and maybe to marriage.
I just don’t get it.
This world of packet based communications, the web browser opening a window to the world, and all these great “innovations” (I put it in quotes because its bullshit) are really great for the “normal” people out there. But if you have any legal disability that is outside of physical, I’d suggest you sue your “doctor” for slander. Because having Autism destroys your reputation, your relationships, your future hopes goodbye.

That’s why I chose to be a corporate hustler, by forcing myself to get a job (likely in a big company) and work and work and work and work my tail off to please to the corporate execs, since afterall that’s my only talent I am putting to use for this year.
*

Customer Relationship [Mis] Management

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I’ve mentioned before Christmas how cyber entities like Amazon.com are eradicating “box stores” and the humans that work there like a Best Buy or a Barnes & Noble. Sites like Amazon exist because our society are a bunch of freeloaders, wanting things for cheap and these same bunch of brats have no idea what the value of a dollar is. I think that is easier said than done.
Amazon is “cheap” for a number of reasons. They have limited overhead. One is they have a few warehouses, and item coming out of those warehouses go right to the customer as opposed to a box store. Second, is they have limited customer services. Ebay has much better customer service, given how badly managed they have been lately.  Like in the earlier story, I’ve mentioned there is no toll free number, and the emails are “generic” but are manned by an agent sifting through thousands of emails. Customer Relationship Management or CRM is the computer app where these agents look at the email and decide how to solve it by cherry picking a few drill down options and add a sentence or two of a personal message then presses send back to the customer.
Amazon is anonymous in the Seattle region, one of the city’s largest employer.  A Seattle paper wrote a story last year about how all the other big companies in the city like Boeing, Microsoft and others giving money to local charities and reaching out, while Amazon’s employees are forced to be anonymous and work in buildings that are unmarked. The western part of the United States is nothing but mind boggling how there are so many adolescents who think they have the freedom to run a company but hold no accountability.
That same story, the newspaper tried to get in contact with Amazon.com’s public relations, and they got a response back. The response was probably done with their CRM app, because it looked so generic!
I’m not even done with this story!
On Christmas Eve, the eastern part of the US, their side business of providing cloud services for companies like Netflix went out. This was the fourth occurrence in less than a year. NetworkWorld, wrote a story last week comparing their “apology” emails dating to April of 2011 and how there was only a few words that differentiated all of their messages that appeared a generic  CRM reply.
Dealing with retailers that are CRM, even worse contacting via the web, in this case Amazon.com is sobering. You have to deal with rules and e-tailer’s policies and there is no way around it. It’s the childish “rules are rules.” With traditional retailers, they can bend around costs, returns or refunds based on human instinct.
But I live in a free country. The country wants do things for cheap to free, and unfortunately when we want things for free, we give up for other things, like fending for ourselves if we need customer assistance on a messed up order and another childish phrase “dealing with it” just like how they responded to the cloud outage on Christmas Eve.

You Call This non Sexist?

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I really don’t want to give CNN, Anderson Cooper, or Kathy Griffin (whoever the hell that broad is) any more attention. But since I have discussed sexism on a number of occasions), here is the TV-MA segment on the New Years Eve coverage on CNN, the Cable [No] News Network
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkoUkf2KDD4]

“Definition of ‘Marriage'”

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Now that I am not seeking future relationships, I have the time to start discussing the bigger picture of how this blog was intended to be.
Have you seen my banner and the various statements, phrases and questions about “Relationships”? The title of this story, is called “Definition of ‘Marriage'” this phrase was derived as legalese. The reason that phrase is legalese, was a community I used to live several years ago wanted the local board to send a memo to the State legislature of the town’s view on marriage. My state has approved homosexual marriage a few years ago. The community, which was (and is) extremely fiscal and very socially conservative, had taken advantage of using the ballot to vote their views.*

* I did not vote on that question, because its technically illegal to put such question in a “town meeting” legislature, since the ballot is supposed to be electing board members and approving the budget. This never was challenged on the legality. Everyone in town talked about the legality of marriage, and never about the legality of the question being put on a “ballot.” The other things, like this issue would be done on a Saturday meeting at the local school and holding up a card for approval/disapproval and the “townies” going up to speak about their approval or disapproval of various questions up for vote. (If you have watched Gilmore Girls, its kinda like that, only once a year mind you.)

I totally digress. I should avoid talking about politics only if politics effect relationships.
I’ve wondered about the views on marriage really is. It’s cheaper to not get married because of the lovely taxation that is only going to get worse. Having a kid ups the taxation. If you have a disability, and you receive Social Security or SSDI or SSI, a combined relationship means a consolidation of checkbook ledgers, which means your bennies may go down.
What really bugs me is how people have to put such mental and physical stress and typically the groom’s family putting money down for a wedding, that apparently becomes a writedown when the divorce comes along.
Getting married before legally the Mr. & Mrs. is very costly, and I’m not talking about the costs of a divorce! Divorces are very costly, and depending on who got screwed over (assuming a case of infidelity), may or may not get even more screwed because of losses of assets. If I were you, I’d be keeping asset log in case you loose precious items leading up to a divorce.
And who really gets screwed – the children! If couples have kids, this really shows how immature their parents are. The yuppitie yuppies always whine It’s for the Chillldreeenn! So divorcing is good “for the children?'”
We have to credit Hollywood for their leadership of having out of wedlock children, getting married and getting divorced as simple as clicking on the drop box on your Relationship Status on Facebook.
I’m not even talking about homosexual marriage like where this title originated from. I find heterosexual relationships is the most at danger. There is no meaning to “marriage”, again just talking about heterosexual marriage. I’m someone who thinks about money alot, and given this crappy economy, I would think money would be a strong decision maker for marriage. I just don’t get it.
I find doing a prenuptial is wrong. If you love someone so much to death, why is there a need to do a prenup? If anything you should do a will before a prenuptial.
I find the people who also tout traditional marriage are the ones that are doing the total opposite of what they are preaching.
What say you? Do you think marriage is overrated, or underrated. What is your “definition of  ‘marriage'”?

New Year – New Self

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I’m starting to slowly change my way of thinking. Beginning in 2012, I started a new process, such as thinking small goals and targeted plans. Part of that was a better organizational plan, implementing new technology (such as an iPhone and an iPad last summer) and trying to have a “system” – something I haven’t had for years since not being in school.
So as 2013 is just a baby in comparison (you are almost a full day if you are Down Under and you Left Coast brats are still waiting to see the ball drop in a tape delay) here is part of the plan as stated in the Countdown:

  • I am in the process of a new contract for my services and the lone goal is
  • to find a job or go into a work program
  • find staff for “caretakers” to go and do my day to day errands such as getting office supplies,  going to the local mall and clothes shopping or to the movies or candle pin bowling at least once a week.
  • The plan is to phase out of trying to socialize, and focus on just working to get financial independence; and time out of the house. I’ve planned for this because as I have mentioned last year, the only thing going forward in my life.
  • Autism and other pervasive developmental diseases or disorders is still “new”. This status hasn’t changed since 1980. Especially when the boom started in 1987, and many guys (since most numbers of ASD are males – yeah its so fucked up) are in the similar boat as I am. What this means in plain English, is there aren’t many support groups that intermingle with “normal” people, or focuses on just ASD, or just adults, or groups that aren’t “motherly” orientated.  Until there is better awareness and better support groups, or hangouts with normal people, I will basically be waiting when that time comes.
  • In CY2012, I effectively decided to avoid college all together.  This plan is still in tact for CY13
  • Romantic relationships are limited to none from this day on,  due to many factors. I’m almost 26. Many people my age (and older – I don’t go younger than a few years) are “In a Relationship”, they have trashed every other people in their life to be with their lover. Secondly, most females peak at sexuality at their mid twenties, and even tho I have no experience, it’s a dream to have a girl that has modest assets or attributes. Third, I live in an affluent area, where there a lot of high quality people. Coming from a farmer area, and from a low middle class family with limited to zero privileged background, I don’t think a girl from around here would appreciate me given that most girls are selfish, narcissistic and not appreciated.  Lastly, given my difficulties in relationships, most girls have not patience. My Quick Reference Card to Relationships says that “Good looking girls are taken, and the not so looking ones live with their parents. The best girl for a relationships are very popular, and there aren’t that many that are single. And the most ideal girl is too good to be true.

In 2010, I had a few friends. By the end of that year, it dwindled down to just a couple.
By 2011, those friends that left were out of my life indefinitely
By 2012, I went through one of the most painful stages of my life of having to accept I do not have the ability to have any relationships outside of professionalism.
I never thought I’d cry loosing friends. I thought I’d never be upset because I felt I was too smart, or was afraid of saying the wrong thing that I could go to the local institution.
I give attribution to those feelings to the local school district backed by unions; the state government and the federal government, which is where I’ve given up my freedoms to get certain services.
So how am I going to approach 2013 and relationships?

  • Don’t use the Internet that much anymore to socialize. I can’t use my HP/Compaq nc6400 or my late 2006 MacBook without worrying about it catching on fire thanks to the massive code clutter thanks to the adolescents running publicly held dot-com companies. These jerks have no accountability, and because of these bloated websites, why waste my time waiting an hour to finish something “on the cloud” and just do something locally on the intranet/SharePoint site?
  • When my birthday comes, fuggedaboutit! My birthday is easily forgotten. In CY12, on my 25th birthday, it was no biggie, it was “just another day.” This year, it will be just another day. I don’t see any parties or anything big out of it. I’ve learned that as much as you want to whore attention, people will ignore little things like a birthday, something that basic logic says about a friendship.
  • Be more self-reliant. Asking for help is for p***ies. Real people do things on themselves
  • Kiss the pain of 2010-2012 goodbye. All social circles that prior to 2010 are null and void. They are dead in my head; and they don’t deserve mention on this blog anymore. I’ve already set it in stone prior to, so if you want to look back and learn more
  • Work or stay home This is achieved by ether working out in the wild and or home, and staying home for a majority of time outside of generic errands.
  • Do not advocate. The world is retarded period. Why should I waste my time trying to convince an ignorant person that someone with ASD has a future?
  • The world might not ended on 12-21, but it is effectively dead. Thanks to new technology and media that has ruined society; we are now in a world where corruption is ramped, people are becoming more and more anti social by using social media; while traditional “anti social” people will become more social, because of their off net* skillsets. We will know how to socialize when everyone else is not. As sick and perverted as it is, people are becoming more and more narrow minded and they won’t be able to discuss things that aren’t in their own viewpoints. On top of that the world of the news media is gone, and people won’t know how to get news because they never were immune and if they get news it may be opinions because the news is becoming “entertainment” thanks to the TV business having 90% of the work force of people who kiss the mirrors and touch themselves in a certain area, an appropriate word is “narcissistic.” I’ve priced in that the world is pretty much dead; and I’m walking like a zombie.

*sorry I’m a telecom/voice guy, and I’m mixing tech terms onto this blog.
So 2013, is a year where I’ve came to realization and now that realization will be tested with the expectations I have envisioned during the time of realization.
Welcome 2013!

My Life is Over

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I don’t see a future for relationships.
I look at my mother and its a reflection of how our relationships and the dysfunctions of the two of us is how a woman would not want to live with me for the rest of her life.
The way a woman can get bitchy and bite one heads off and the way she can get frustrated at her partner is clearly reasons why I won’t have any romantic futures.
I can’t say things right, and I have to be held hostage if I don’t get my words put out right – almost to the point where I have to have the right dialectic character spoken properly.
I have communication issues, and obviously communication is the key to a “relationship”.
Why would a girl want to be with me? She would need to be taken to the state school for her to make such decision!
I don’t belong here.
My mother was so selfish to give me life. You can argue if that is a healthy or unhealthy form of selfishness.
From now on, the writer of this blog will come from a voice of a dead soul and a living body And it seems to be that way to begin with when there are more people liking and not commenting ether. I wished the TV or Radio business was doing better, because I don’t have a voice in the virtual world of packet communications.
Until there is a next time, good night

There is no such thing as Love

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I think as we go into 2013, as I am still figuring out what the fuck relationships is supposed to mean, I’m starting a series on how love is a just another 4 letter word that if I was running the Federal Communications Commission, I’d rule that as an indecent word to use on traditional medium.
Love is a joke.
If you believe it, then you need a psych evaluation!
Love is a sin.  Try using an online search engine might not yield to any result, but in fact it is.
It’s selfish.
It’s narrowminded.
It make  your brain go into tunnelvision
It makes you narcissistic, whether its to your self or the other narcissistic partner.
Italians clearly are not lovers, just look at Rick Santelli, the most hateful Italian-Americans on business news.  A guy that yells over the satellite on an oft-basis on the Corporate News & Betting Channel or CNBC, or sometimes called CMSNBC (because of their liberal bias.) If I were his parents and if I knew how much hes a monster at trading pits in Chicago, I’d probably would abort that sonofabitch!
Its not just Santelli, there are other plain ol hateful people out there  in society. Politicians, executives, talk show hosts, support groups, you name it. You see it in all walks of life lately!  Its becoming the norm.
Hate is the new love!
Over time I will talk more and more about the ideal to switch to hate instead of love.