Category Archives: Six Degress of Relationships

A “true friend”

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Another fillin post as I am dealing with personal issues that needs focus. Hopefully I’ll be back writing soon.
This was modified from an original post from my former MySpace account dated from a couple of years ago, I cleaned it up for a general audience and for relevancy.
A “true friend”…
Knows who to call you, (i.e. nickname vs. given name, etc.)
Knows where you live
Knows your birthday
Knows your number
And someone who keeps those things offline (like a Rolodex, calendar or Outlook for that manner; other than relying a social networking system) or by heart
That shares a decent amount of interests as you (60% common)
That isn’t always about “themselves”, but tries to reciprocate
That is willing go to places that you want to go likewise in a decent timely manner (i.e. 48 hours or longer in advance)
That won’t treat you like crap
Whose not a narcissist
Whose education doesn’t matter
Whose not in a local “garage band”
Whose not a party animal beyond the indecent level
Someone who will get back to you in a timely manner (at least up to 48 hours or 2 days)
Someone who doesn’t brag about their UNH (or any university) days
Someone who will put you higher up in their social queues
Someone who isn’t so rigid or high strung all the time
Someone who will standby you no manner how crazy you are thinking
Someone who knows you so well that they can sort out each others bullshit
Someone who has personality, and a human touch
A person that can laugh,
A person with a soft, warm and furry inside
A person that will believe in what you say, and not think you are talking out of your ass
A person that likes things what a vast majority of people like.
And you’ll know if its true when the ones that save you from a burning building (in a figurative sense) – that would define true friendship.
If a friend’s relationship is really true and sincere, you wouldn’t be complaining much about them
And lastly, a true friend shouldn’t be defined on a social networking site. It should be defined as a face to face; however if it isn’t always the case, then it can be other e-messaging, email, text or voice terminal conversation.

Siblings

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I’ve said before, I don’t have siblings (let alone a father) though I do have some cousins I am familiar with. Some of my cousins could have some characteristics of a sibling. I do often wonder what life would be liked if I had siblings. My mother had asked when I was 10 or so years old, and I said no. Part of it was just the fear of being around a baby, and just any additional fear. At that time I don’t think they had those “new sibling” courses they do today.
Though I wonder about them in a relationship sense as a sibling to sibling. I’ve heard stories about how they would be rivalries, they would compete, they would trash one and another, and the other things I see on the TV and watching the Kardashians series of programs.
Another thing I probe and question is are such relationships as a child change as an adult? I am not sure if many get along as adults, I wonder that. I understand (from my own experiences) that dysfunctional families can start at the adult age (and I hate to say I am one of those people too.)
Once I have more thoughts, I’ll post more on this subject

Work

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Note: This post was written during the Alpha/Beta stage. I wanted to bump this up so you can read my views on why I am not in a work program yet, and how my (allegedly made up) social skills issues and the ever so confusing understanding relationships at the workplace has put me into a long and screeching halt. At the same time, I am going to take time off to sort out various issues as I noted on my other blog just now. I am hoping to come back and try to calmly write my frustrations on relationships again. I can’t imagine what others like me go through, let alone someone who is “normal”
I’ve not been in a job since early 2008. It had nothing to do with the economy, it was because it was part of my school program and the company was unable to hire me permanently under their payroll. The company was billed by my school and the school program  in return would give me the paycheck. At that time, the company had some seasonal difficulties, though now they are doing much better because they are allegedly the suppliers for a famous phone made by a California tech giant.
With that being said, my last day was within the following week to my 21st birthday, which is when any special needs student looses their school services and land into the real and crazy world of adult services, which in the beginning can be very difficult. (Hereto, I’ll leave the rest of the technical stuff for The Forgotten Autistic, since I normally cover these general and personal issues.)
So I have struggled finding the right work program. I’ve dealt with one a few years ago and it was an utter fail. Now I am in a new area, therefore their might be some promising options or work programs.
There are a few issues with work programs outside of a school program
1) is the “image” of the programs. Some programs I had seen were “white collared” like jobs. Sure, white collared jobs are fun, I’ve experienced it a little bit over time
2) with that being said, there is of course a responsibility, accountability, and maturity, and the job “coaches” or “trainers” often have to push and push the clients. I have done very poorly with people pushing me. I won’t go into the details, maybe its something I don’t fully know yet.
3) another issue is, in one of these “startup” programs (and do I love “startups – insert sarcasm) the applications are lengthy and dare I say intimating. My mother probably would say that most places do that, and its what life is and how workplaces work, and blah blah blah. Well, can anyone understand that maybe it has to do with how the label changed my life, most importantly the “social” aspect?
4) whether or not I choose a work program or not, there is a roadblock. Knowing I have social difficulties (whether its real or synthetic) I’d feel awkward doing some even simple blue collared job (something more up my alley!) Or even a turtleneck job! How would I be able to interface with “normal” people in a retail environment? Some of those teen/college age stores are people ether much younger than me or if they are on or close to my age, they probably are perfectly tolerant to illegal aliens, homosexuals, physically disabled, other backgrounds or races but not for developmentally disabled people! I bet there are people in such places that have used the “little bus” joke just like they did in high school!
The deprival of my “social skills” and replacing it with fear, intensive self-doubt and over-thinking is the major road block to a future of a 20 hours or less work program. I have not properly addressed this to my support team yet. Part of it is the lack of listening of some of the people. I still have the office skills from the previous employer, its like riding a bicycle, its just the social part that is severely stopping my life. If anyone is willing to hear me out.

Dreams (That Will Just Exist in my Imagination)

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My dream life…

  • Working enough hours to make ends meet, to have enough cash to pursue my interests.
  • To have a stable social life – maybe up to six “friends” or so.
  • To have some girlfriend I can feel its ok to be romantically in love, to touch her, to kiss her to hug her without worrying about registering as a Level Three Sex Offender.
  • To have somewhat of a electronic communication (such as a Facebook, phone calls, emails or texts – though I don’t like texting anymore)
  • That I can be happy and feel that life isn’t that threatening and the world around me won’t  have to really judge me

But I realize that is all just a daydream and when I go to bed, the worst things to happen are in my sleep, because theres nothing to really dream about since my dreams cannot come true for various reasons to just leave out for the general audience. 

I get so teary eyed because I have to accept that my life isn’t what I dreamt of. Because I have to make others happy because its all about them and not about me.

A Little Opinion on Victoria’s Secret

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My goodness has Victoria’s Secret changed since I was young.
It used to be a San Francisco Operation or SFO – just like in the airport symbol! You know, they made the store more male friendly so they wouldn’t look crazy going into a lingerie store. The Vicrtoria in the name refers to the Left Coast’s “historic” housing of the Victorian type.
At some point, Limited Brands had bought out this humble operation. The models at the time were not foreign, and they were as American as you can get. A long time trivia the panelist on The Five on the Fox News Channel and the network’s legal analyst Kimberly Gufolyle, had done modeling gigs for the company in between being a law student in the University of California. (I can’t independently confirm of this, because such images would be very scarce, although there was confirmation last October on the same program about her gig back in her younger years.)  Nowendays, they get people like an Alessendrea Ambrosio beauty, then doesn’t have worry about for the rest of her life, because they pay these professional modeling agencies tons of cash. It wasn’t like that 20 years ago.
Beauty is overrated, and I want to discuss more about models at a later time,
But with that said, I got a real gripe against V.S.
As time went on, Limited had made Victoria’s Secret from the in the closet girly guy store to a total chick store, with a chic style. Or should I say slutty style or even skanky style? I’ve gotten more and more offended by how they use the style as an excuse to perform sexual acts with the subliminal messaging. My mother told me that V.S. was known for its reliable unmentionables, that the many times you would wash them over and over, they wouldn’t fall apart. Apparently since they went slutty, style acquired substance. It’s not surprising – its just like how everything else looks slutty and they break apart faster just like your computer or mobile device – they put so much focus on trying to give you a hard on and not how it will last forever -as love used to be defined as that.
I almost get a heart attack every time I go to the local mall or in public when I see PINK or LOVE IS PINK or anything with PINK and/or LOVE. This used to be the target line for the junior teens/ladies line, and it was heavily for the high school/college crowd. And these girls who wear these outfits are the ONES that should NOT BE LOVED! These ones don’t have a damn clue that you are supposed earn the love and not expect of it.
And again, these girls who dress so low to the social scale are the teasers. They love to show off their bodies, and once they feel like they are invaded, they just get all scared. It’s not my problem when you dress like a skank and can’t take the attention from the frisky guys.
Victoria’s Secret isn’t your mothers lingerie store anymore. Time has sure changed back 2 decades ago.

Marriages, part two

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It used to be back in the days before the whiner generation (aka the Millennials and Gen X) that people would start to settle down in their lives in their mid twenties. So since this writer is in his mid twenties, and one who hasn’t had any positive romantic experiences, it would be of interest to explain why this writer has concerns about marriage.
Cost
The cost of getting married has very little to do legal procedures (unless you want to go forward with a prenuptual – which I find absurd because I believe once you get married, you stay married unless there is an obscene form of an infidelity or death.) I’ll get to that later about prenups.
The other issue about cost, is typically the groom pays for the majority of the costs of the wedding, the reception, etc. Now, my mother is the only parent in my life, whom of which is a single. If you want to put my grandmother in the mix, that’s fine. My mother is essentially a middle class worker, and my grandmother is retired and living off fixed income benefits, so my mother probably would have to put money down on that, which I can’t even think of an average cost off the top of my head,
The other issue is finding a girl who would have accepting parents to someone who is probably going to be poorer than his wife and her parents. I live in a snobby region, (here I go not accepting richer people.)
Honeymoons (and that 3 letter dirty word)
Now a honeymoon is typically a standard after a marriage that takes place. And from what I know a honeymoon is a code word for the first occurrence of a sexual relationship for the first time ever (if you subscribe fully to the New Testament of the Bible) or the first occurrence since marriage. To me, the idea of a honeymoon for essentially a subliminal event is just overrated.
Maybe its still the child inside of me who is scared of sex. (I mentioned about this subject recently.) And where would I go for that? I typically don’t care for warm weather, and I just don’t get the whole idea of it except for just fucking* my new wife (if that ever was to happen.)
* fuck – to have a sexual intercourse [typically with penis to vaginal] – I wanted to explain what that word really means when I say it.
Acceptance of the Wife’s family

Another issue is that dysfunctional families aren’t just isolated in the biological, or immediate family, the in-laws have a contributing factor of potential gridlock of being united together. Part of my frustrations is that I have not found a way to succeed or overcome my dysfunctions with my autism spectrum disorder or ASD as of yet. I’ve struggled with social issues, because I made one too many social mistakes as a kid so I am punished by having to put a gun to my head by not making mistakes. As such, I have basically isolated myself from the “real world” or dare I say the skeptical world. This baggage along with everything else has also made me frozen by not looking at work programs because I feel ashamed of my disorder. So yet again, I am in this vicious circle of “doing the right thing™*” but yet I still am screwed ether way.

*Potential trademark of Dr. Laura Selessenger/Clear Channel Radio/Premiere Radio Networks

So while struggling to “doing the right thing”, its difficult to find an accepting girl in an un accepting society filled of entitled brats and snobby people. On top of that, the girl might have rich parents that might look down at a potential “looser.” It doesn’t help that you are also a guy in his mid twenties that might be allegedly surviving just barely on “welfare” like benefits, on top of that being very busy trying to find his happiness and his future hopes and dreams in between finding a job. So there is so much pressure that’s put to a “lost boy” stereotype or even a “looser” (insert the Bart Simpson tone to that.)

If I wanted to get married to a girl, I would like a healthy relationship with her parents, her potential siblings (which might be a must since I never had siblings and I am not sure if its better not to have or to have such) and maybe her respective grandparents, because typically a mother and a father have two sets of respective their mothers and fathers.

Maybe this paragraph is too Utopian.

The Wedding Vows (and the Interpretation of such)
I don’t typically talk about religion, spirituality or even afterlife because its a conterversal subject, and its best to keep discussions off the Web and in your disconnected living room. Typically the vows goes something like this:

“I [suchandsuch] take this bride/groom
to love and behold
for richer or for poor
in sickness and health

until death do us part”

That last line is actually the dealbreaker. So a marriage is null and void when ether one dies. So basically the spouse goes away and the marriage is all over. So ether legally, or socially, love is not forever or eternal! If one of us don’t die together, s/he is gone! And I won’t be married to her in afterlife because of what the vow states! Why remarry to someone if the same thing were to happen?!
So with that being said, I am still on the fence about “marriage.” That doesn’t mean that you, a “normal” reader to this blog should use this post as an excuse to not get married and still be in a long term relationship and not attempting to tie the knot.

What is Sex?

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I know what sex is.
I want to know what does it really mean? In a macro point of view – the “big picture”?
I’ve lived in a somewhat of a sheltered life, so excuse me in advance if I come off as ignorant on the issue of what I think sex is a form of a physical love.
So why do people do it? Is there a reason? Is there meaning? Is sex the new way of kissing? Why is there a rush to do it at a young age? At the local state university, how many of those party girls have “done it” during a semester? How many partners have the fucked around? Are girls who wear skimpy outfits, like tiny shorts, tight fitting bras, high healed shoes considered for real as “skanks”? Do they shed those outfits off to screw with the hot boy in from the men’s hockey team?
Does a girl who wear Victroia’s Secret outfits are really for them off to you know make some tension in the bed by stripping them down?
Is mastrubation sex? How should that be classified? Fantasy by simulating actual sex? A way to relieve sexual tension, anxiety, and anxiety related to semi imbalanced hormones? Does it mean that while looking at a picture of a beautiful girl while mastrubating, or is it when I am doing that with lusty fantasy considered as sex to ones self? Why do they say its “safe sex”? “Safe” as in a less risky for someone who is socially retarded? Or “safe” to prevent additional diseases. Well then, its still not sex.  Is doing that too much ruining my sexual abilities?
Are “hot chicks” really “slutty” and doing it with ether multiple partners OR their boyfriend at least 3 times a week? How can I tell that someone is sexually active? By noticing the condoms off the side of the road or just how she’s dressing?
Other than conceiving a child, what does a sexual relationship do for the long run? Or is it a one night stand?

September 11th Anniversary

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I am pausing posting stuff as I observe the horrible, and tragic day 11 years ago today (and on this same calendar day.) I‘ve worked on an editorial for my other blog for over a week, that explains if New York was my second home, Lower Manhattan would be my home away from home. I’ll return to schedule blogging tomorrow. Here is a picture I took in September 2000.A picture from Ellis Island in September of 2000 showing Lower Manhattan's former landmark known as Twin Towers

Faux “Friends”

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I have mentioned earlier about how some of my “friends” made a massive fail in the last couple of years. I realized that some of the handful of friends preferred the “cyber” relationship, using ether the social networking sites or using the instant messaging client. One incident was nearly 2 years ago, before I moved to my new town, and one of my pals had asked me about some event that was going to happen about the time I had seen this individual. She asked me “did you get the invite?” referring to a Facebook invite request. I had told her that I had purged my Facebook account (and no, not “deactivate” as some think thats how you close a Facebook account down) and I was just tired of using it.
Now an alleged “true friend” would follow up (especially if you are theoretically close to that individual) ether by looking me up (you know you have to use the search function when you have 600 “friends”) or go the old fashioned way of oh I dunno, EMAIL or dare I say my 10-digit cell number?
This individual is hack, she cheated her way through being a high school teacher thanks to loopholes of the law, and being a union employee and using her “dyslexia” as her “disability” you get fruitcakes like her not screwing students with their ignorance, you get fruitcakes being a lazy-ass not trying to go a little beyond her abilities to follow up on this invite to her “friend”.
I just can’t stand people who can’t even remember one’s birthday. I think it bothers me because my birthday had been forgotten and I never got full attention outside of my family. That same year, I hid my birthday to private, leading to that day. I put it to private that evening, and I got electronic wishes from my alleged “friends.”
I don’t use Facebook because I don’t have “real” friends, and I feel using Facebook for just catching up with “acquaintances” is just useless. And would you think using Facebook just to post pictures of you behind the camera and posting things that are probably useless only to you would seem to be odd or just waste of ones time?
Politically, Facebook drives me nuts, they are taking the stuff you post and using it against you to the advertisers without your knowledge. I am not going to discuss whether or not posting pictures of one being wasted is or is not appropriate, its their own issue, not mine or yours for that manner. My issue is I can’t stand a company getting away of doing bad things and a “free market” being abused. Granted, I feel that I have to use it to reach a broader audience maintaining the Facebook pages for my two blogs.