Tag Archives: Girls

The stupid crushes that just goes vapor.

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The other night, I went to the local Kinkos* Fedex Office store. I wanted to professionally print a document that is many pages, “statement” size and double sided to a specific format.

(“Statement” paper is a US “letter” sized paper cut in half  in landscape side.)
There was a cute girl there. Again I like dealing with ladies with customer service. I have to admit that women do actually have the understanding and the attentive to detail where males don’t do pretty well in that regard. The girl seemed to work there for over half a decade according to her pin.

Not only that, but when she asked for my contact information to put into their relational database, I gave her my card – but she gave it back to me. It’s understandable, since that was the first time I had met her, and stuff.

She probably has a Facebook somewhere on the Internet and she might be “In a Relationship” or is “Married with […]”.

I never seem to have patience anymore. I am sick and tired of the “wait” and then things happen. That logic is now invalid. I’m 25, I was already delayed developmentally, and the last 4.5 years just makes me go back to a teenager, and no “women” wants to fuck around (fig.) with guy like me. Add my autism to the mix too, hate to say it but its true!
Add this lady to the endless counter of plain ol’ crushes.

I hope I don’t come off as crazy – because these stories are real even if they come off as potentially pretend.

*I have the habit of calling it Kinkos, I directed my mother there, and she didn’t see a “Kinko’s” which then I had to explain that they junked the name.

Message a Girl…Ask for Trouble, part two

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Another (possible) date – with no response yet. (I might have to admit my profile might scare people off – well I have to be true and honest why I can’t stand bitches! I don’t regret if I am making females run away from me.)
Hey, your interest of drawing caught my attention, what do you like to draw? what do you like to talk about on such depth? hope to talk to you more soon
Sometimes I wished the Government didn’t invent the internet. I’d rather be severely autistic than being a high functioning autistic.

Sex, Attraction, Anger, Lust and the Hunger for Romantic Love

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Note: This post may contain some content of explicit sexual nature.  Reader Discretion is Advised.
As someone who has experienced zero romantic relationships, and just a billion crushes, it is extremely difficult for being single, not able to date people or be sexually active. Not that being sexually active is right to begin with. However, there are times my hormones go through the roof (and of course, being someone with an autistic disorder, I have to control myself or become a Level 3 Sex Offender.) Part of it is  because I haven’t felt the physical form of love. I used to hug people in the recent past, but since my social circle has shrunk it hasn’t happened. I’ve only kissed a few girls outside of the lips, and I never had any forms of sexual encounters or anywhere near that. Nor was I ever sexually abused, it may be best that I  add that in there.
I see “normal”/”nerotypical” or “typical” or someone that doesn’t have a disability can get away with social norms, but for someone like this writer, its frowned upon.  You see this same thing on Facebook, a sexually attractive lady getting attention on a comment of her default image of what would could be considered as sexist statements. I should say reversed sexist comments. If I made a similar comment, I would be a Level Three Sex Offender, but a “nerotypical” (“normal”) person would get away of it. Why is that?
I really wished I could hit on a girl successfully. I don’t. Often I just failover to just be quiet. I often don’t know how to flirt. Lately, I have an influx of testosterone so I often want to flirt in a sexual nature. Often I am just too chicken to really go that far. The other day, I went to a store and the cashier was a pretty sexually attractive lady with cleavage showing with a cute pushup bra and camisole with her bust very aligned. I just got silent, my voice just got too scratchy or way too soft and it goes that way when my sex hormones goes out of wack and she probably thought I was a crazy animal. That girl or lady had a sexy figure, borderline “slender” about 5 foot 6, and well she was blond (and typically I don’t dig for blonds) but she was pretty hot regardless.
Sometimes I’ll go to the preppy clothing stores that aren’t in the “anchor” mall stores, and try to flirt with a few of the hot ticket clerks, but again I can’t do it. One time I saw a hottie with a sexy dress skirt and it got to the point I got aroused, then another time I’ll see a girl with a skimpy top where I start having “fantasies” of wanting to play with the straps, and maybe strip off her bra or her skimpy top and just make out!  Often my brain focuses on an object and sometimes it focuses on the girl of interest. Sometimes its the object or the outfit that will do it, and sometimes I’ll just get sexually crazy, but I of course have to keep control of it, again as I already mentioned earlier. Another time, I’ll go to one of those places and see some hottie with a tube top and then a really tight shorty shorts with a sexy inch and three quarter leather belt sitting comfortably on her hips and wanting to touch those fine legs. (Boy, that took guts writing this explicit paragraph!)
While I get sometimes horny and just sexually crazy, I have to say I never had any sexual encounter. Whether you like it or not, or agree or disagree with the morals of ether underage sex, unwedded births or non marriage sex; people do “do it” and some don’t “do it”. And many people my age have done it, and these are privileged people with college degrees with a higher social class and are probably conservative types, but yet they aren’t religious. Kinda illogical huh?  Well I am poor, disabled with a disability that about 70% of the people of my age bracket don’t care for, or would never want to fuck with or even want to be friends (again referring to the “normal” population.)
I do subscribe to the notion that girls go past their prime at 25 or their mid twenties, and well I hate to sound like a “cold hearted conservative”, but girls do look hot in their early twenties, and their sexual drive is at their peak, and they seem to be hot to get laid, and I again don’t want to offend anyone, but with that being said – I missed out on that. Its every guys (or girls) dream when they are in the junior year or in their college years to loose their virginity and litter the roads with condoms, and stuff like that.
I don’t want to say that I think lust is an appropriate thing to feel, but jeez in my long 25 years of not ether understanding interpersonal relationships or being accepted in society, its really progressing to be an aggravating sensation. I feel like I am one of the few people that unfairly has been missing out on what could be an awesome thing (or not even that ether!)
I don’t know what “love” is outside a family perspective.
Is “love” invisible like you know software or is it physical like hardware?
Is love touchable?
Is love just about feelings?
Is love about common likes?
Is there a such thing as “opposites attract”?
What is it? What is it? What is it?

Why are Women so Skeptical?

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I ask myself why is it ok for women to be skeptical of men?
Especially when men are expected to trust women.
Why is it ok for women to be scared of them?
When I fear that a woman will be the “Maneater”?
Why do women have to draw conclusions even if they don’t know them?
But yet why is it sexist for someone like me to draw conclusions on women or anyone for that manner?
Why do women judge when others they don’t want to be judged? Is that a form of narcissism?
Why do men have to be put to higher standards to not be boys, when these same women are dressing like a slut and doing immature behaviors and essentially acting as girls?
Why are women being enabled to be  Goddess and Princesses and Biaches, and Jerks when men are put to a lower social scale?
They are the majority – but yet they act as the minority – but still they have to be a bitch to bite on something!
We really need to not condone female behavior. I don’t care  what excuse. There’s a reason why they are a bitch. Because they need a “label” to excuse their hypocritical behavior. For me that isn’t appropriate. For anyone.

Pension Reform – the Girlie/"Gay"/Conservative Way

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A few days ago, the State of Illinois approved pension reform to the state’s public sector employees. However the distraction to the story by a attention grabbing conservative in the state’s legislature. The man, Illinois State Representative, Mike Bost (R) droped an f-bomb, threw papers and YELLED to the top of his lungs and made a big immature scene with no one doing CPI holds (restraints) or any security officer taking him out or taking him to the “time out room” or anything that a 6 year old PDD student in a school would get disciplined for with a similar behavior.
Now why in the hell did no one call the campus security and not pulling the man out, whom of which couldn’t keep a calm, cool and collective approach in their state house? Why didn’t the Illinois State Police not press charges against him? The politician I think from seeing the grainy picture might had been wearing some little girls bra underneath.  (just kidding.) Though acting like children or acting out like a PDD student in an out of district school program in a public arena is wrong. Especially as public leaders.
Now I am for any pension reform, but its unfortunate that most republican leaders have to act like desperate little girls and use emotion and act violent as you see in the video link to push politics. This is the same ideal of excessive emotions that the liberal moonbat mothers did in Concord a month ago so.
If I were his colleagues, I would spank his rear end in public for acting like a 6 year old PDD kid for that immature behavior. I wouldn’t get away doing that (especially in closed-minded state where I live in.) I only applaud for his reform, but his delivery FAILED. We shouldn’t applaud his immature, girly behavior.
Note: I used “Gay” in quotes on the title, in the sense that some “conservatives” are acting like transsexual women like the emotions. John Boehner was the prime example last year where he couldn’t stop crying in public.