Category Archives: 2020HopelessAutisticRemains

Published on WordPress.com from late 2015 to part of 2017. Anger or resentment in such tone is for historical purposes only. It has been incorporated into clickfo.me platform on July 2021. I actually saw the writing on the wall that the developmentally delayed system was in failure within five years. While I wished my prediction was wrong, it actually did happen, and COVID19 was a big distraction. Some of the resentment fired up in the #LondonderryNHExposed podcast series in late ’20, early ’21

The Hopeless Autistic’s First Cry for Action

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Clickford, Steven M.

Your humble writer made his mark in a picture-esque statement once again (that shouldn’t be to begin with) bringing deliberate shock value to the locals. (i.e. “WAKE UP!”) Due to the inaccurate messages on the autism spectrum disorder factor in the politics in Concord and the awesome “Managed Care” system (that’s destined to fail) – I’ve yet again took some more gutsy action. Your’s truly had written on the sand the hashtag at Hampton Beach State Park in New Hampshire in August.

I did this after I went into the water late in that day, and in between sending the message of being hopeless and getting my camera (to take a picture of my bold message) I captured a candid shot of a couple young ladies seeing this, and then taking mobile phone shots that most likely went onto a Facebook or Instagram like site. I just skirted around the area till they walked away to get the picture. They did stand there for a while (at least over a minute.)

This is what I’ve been doing over the last seven months after having enough of the same ol crap (for the last 28 years or so) that many various members in state leadership, and various other levels who have done a number of people disservice.

Then a couple of young kids ran around the message not to long after and started to make additional marks, but nothing I don’t think to extend the message. At least it may have made an impact of the said girls.

I do claim ownership of these photos and the message. I just want to make it clear that despite the all the statements and messages and tone on the disorder relevant to adults in the Granite State, I for one am a #hopelessautistic.

First Post (of Many)

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Clickford, Steven M.

This is Steven Ayotte (better to be known by Steven Clickford.)

This is my first of many posts hoping to make change in the state I live in, to hopefully followers who live in the same state I live in and waking up any of the one-point-three million residence that I call “home”. The Granite State that one had the Great Stone Face and basically an average of an hour and a half drive/ride to the mountains, lakes and ocean is not as perfect as I was as I was a child – the “first generation autistic” back in the 1990s.

The state allegedly was a leader in service delivery for anyone with a developmental disability. According to one special interest groups, its now at 25, you could say its bet or worst as it is right in the middle.

I label myself as a “hopeless autistic”. Born in the personal computer generation, and remembered how much I hated the Web before I loved it, I grew up in one of the most wealthiest towns in Western Rockingham County. When I was placed out of district in 1999, and was confronted of my autism diagnosis (was dx’d in 1994) – my whole world fell apart. I just entered into middle school in town and lost everything. My friends, my social skills (I wasn’t as “creepy” back then), my happiness, the ability to wake up at 7:30 in the morning and jump on the bus an hour later with positivity.

It all disappeared.

Further in high school and into adulthood, I was starting to feel hopeless, and now in 2015, I made a big statement of publicly saying I’m a “Hopeless Autistic” and made an SOS message on the sand at Hampton Beach State Park this past summer (without my family knowing.)

I feel that my life is falling apart by the second – literally. If you thought an American made car would be so junk, maybe its actually a human being (allegedly, I think I’m human…) that is more unreliable than a car made from Detroit.

I do have support systems, I am in an area agency, I do live with my family, but other than that – that is my only support. I have professional relations with the state and its leadership, but I disagree with many of their views (because I leave my politics at home and bring systemic politics outside the house.) The limitations in life is out of said control. That control must be deferred to Concord, at the special interest groups, the State’s Department of Health and Human Services, the DHHS’ Bureau of Developmental Services, the Medicaid “managed care” companies, and our governor, our leaders in the General Court and at the local level at the school administrative units (SAUs) and town officials (mostly public safety.)

If we as state as a whole can’t move forward, expect individuals or even families to start becoming “hopeless” I thought the 21st Century was supposed to bring more hope.

I only wished this was a fictional blog, it is not. I will shut it down once there is progress, because all special interests groups should come and go. But I am an honest person that wants to tell the story live and uncut. If I ever glorified or over dramatized my narrative, then I loose my credibility. But at this point, my reputation was destroyed in 1999, so I have nothing to loose. I hope?

What is Causing the Alarm?

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Clickford, Steven M.

By no means, am I dramatizing the Autism Crisis by anyway. There is a problem, a systemic and leadership problem, I explain below

Ignorant leaders: People who do not know the subject matter, but know enough to solve the problem (just cut Medicaid – and it will fix all the problems.) People also still are not aware of autism and all the aspects around. This is why I refer it officially as the Autism Spectrum Disorder because the key word is spectrum.
Arrogant leaders: The people with Doctor’s degrees that are ether working in local school district units or SAUs, and or other forms of leadership who show off their degrees, and claim they know everything about autism, but sometimes this arrogance stoops to the ignorance as described above.
Not accepting reality. The Capital City of Concord in their defense tries to come of progressive (with DOE, DHHS, and all the special interest groups.) but the real harsh realities are way beyond the Concord city line. From what I know, I find the abstract, rosey ideals not connecting well in the most populated area of this small state. And I’m talking about the Greater Boston area of New Hampshire. These communities of people, of leaders, and peers of the community in general have possibly held a number of people with autism backwards instead of forwards.
As previously mentioned on this site, a Commission did a review in 2001, but the ideas took years to come into fruition, if that was even remotely true to many.
Digital Divide: experts not well versed in technology (leaving many with developmental disabilities in their own “digital divide”, they could have a PC or mobile device, but not be able to use social applications, i.e. Facebook, etc because of the infamous “creep” factor.)
Adults with Autism in the 603 Area Code: Another problem was the lack of services and support as individuals would become of age. In the state of New Hampshire, the cutoff date from SAU to “area agency” services is the 21st birthday, neighboring states is 22 or the same. The experts for whatever reason by arrogance or ignorance or both, just didn’t have good relationships with SAUs and area agencies and education was very limited. Of such, it was not abnormal for many individuals of any developmental disabilities to be on a “wait list” for over 16 to 20 months and be limping around life until funding came around. The “adults in the room” just seemed sit and bicker of it being a “republican fault” or something equivalent thereof. And while all of this was going on, people like me would regress and not only regress, but start to have the first signs of being a “hopeless autistic”
Other concerns: Leaders not knowing business or operational skills; preaching on their education as if they knew everything; not using technology to enhance accountability, especially in the #OpenGov movements of the early 2010s, and continual politics within autism and not leave the politics at home.

2020: The Year of the Hopeless Autistic

Posted on October 15, 2015 by Clickford, Steven M.

Originally posted as a page on The Hopeless Autistic on October 16th, 2015 at 5:40 pm ET

By the year 2020, people with autistic disorders or families of individuals with autistic disorders may have their own depressive state of emotions. If actions do not get resolved now, things will get worse, of such the following

Individuals may be on wait lists for additional services (housing, etc.) even longer
Institutions may return in some capacity, ether by force of legislation, or by individuals wanting to be “isolated”
“Privacy” cards will be used more to cover up things that are protected under right to know laws
Non for Profit agencies may be still not investigated by Federal Authorities for corruption, as some are currently believed to be dishonest and be doing the public a disfavor
“Experts” and continual support to Autism Speaks (an organization clearly, with many facts to back it up to make the autism movement be non existent as they want a “cure” for the disorder) will continue to distort the message, causing people to ether not work for people as Direct Support Professionals, or even avoid contact, be friends, or even worse romantic futures all because of bad communications from “normal” “adults”
Suicides or deaths attributed to stress, diabetes, cancer due to stress or inappropriate medications, while it would be officially not be a mortality rate by autism per se, but the sane individual would link the two, because of the negative, oppressive and depressive environment of the system in the 603 Area Code.

Of such, if actions listed above, do not get reversed, it will lead to individuals to possibly go backwards, not forwards.