Match.com has used an ad blitz in the last year touting that 1 and in 4 relationships start online. I wasn’t able to read the small font size on the chyron in the commercial, but I want to challenge that stat. Match.com is a price gouging entity owned by Barry Diller’s IAC – InterActiveCorp. That same parent company owns the infamous price gouging entities known as Ticketmaster and Livenation. Those two entities would explain why Match.com would want to lure people with their obscenely priced service.
Category Archives: A Puzzling View on Relationships (2011-2014)
Disasters and Relationships
I am attempting to put a current event that might be a big disaster in the coming days to an area that hurricanes happen once in a generation and how friendships and or other relationships correlate.
I have personally had a crappy year to date in my life (as described in some of my posts.) I just think part of it has to do of dealing with summer-like weather dating back from late February (the ant indicator as they invaded our kitchen) to now dealing with “stink bugs” invading my house. On top of dealing with summer 24×7 and just trying to get through a day to then start feeling a rumble that felt like an earthquake (that was in reference of an earthquake that occurred last Tuesday evening, the first-ever experience for this writer.)
Then I go back to my day to day life, wearing summer attire in late October, and going through other headaches, to then start to read headlines on Tuesday about Hurricane Sandy approaching the Northeast corridor of the U.S. This comes on the heels after a major fall snowstorm hitting my area a year ago to this day (that really caused gridlock); and the 21st anniversary of a “similar” Halloween storm that was the storyline in the major film The Perfect Storm.* The weather people can’t predict this storm, and even the computer models are very conflicting! Talk about uncertainty! Never mind my social circle is small to begin with!
*take that film with a grain of salt, never seen the movie, because I heard inaccurate portrayals of the actors, it was dramatized of course!
these last few years have been pretty crazy in the Bad News Department. I’ll do a quick rundown of what happened in my region in the last 6 or so years alone:
- In May 2006, we had 20″+ of rain falling during the week/end of Mothers Day
- In late December 2008, we had a massive ice storm that paralyzed communities North of Boston
- During late February of 2010, we experienced some record warm temperatures (near 60 on some days) that lead in with a windstorm and a huge coldfront to hit my area on Friday, February 26th. This caused near hurricane grade winds with winter like weather on Saturday and March like weather on Sunday, then another warmfront the days after, with damages that caused widespread outages for power and telecommunications services for many areas for about a week!
- Then, Hurricane Irene hitting the Northeast part of the US, including Washington, D.C., New York, Boston – while the real brunt of the storm effected the Carolinas, and Upstate New York and Interior parts of New England (something the mass media failed to cover.) This happened a few days after a large scale earthquake rocking the East Coast on August 23rd of last year.
As I am dealing with trying to prepare with ether flooding, or huge wind damage, I have a very small social circle. In the bullet point on the 2010 windstorm, I had “friends” in Middlesex and Essex Counties in Massachusetts that got unscathed. Unfortunately I was dealing with that cliche “bad things happen to good people” while the people that don’t get punished for being bad people. The ones in interest both live in cities where they never go offline, one of those cities was blacked out outside of the downtown area and this individual never knew what was happening until this individual went and looked out of their window.
Now granted these people don’t have TVs, they don’t have landline phones and are totally Internet Connected. (and because of their stupidity, things like the Emergency Alert System is getting pushed to cell and smartphones by new FCC rules) And that same stupidity of these people, are like I have described before; self-absorbed and if they did look out for me, it was half-assed anyways.
Then the social media aspect makes me just sick. The Weather Channel has not only dumbed down their website to the point they are attracting the socialites. It drives me nuts when I see the red banner on top of their website to click and “warn your friends”. Then I see the cable channel having graphics like “#sandy” to tweet the storm.
Sure I have family members that we will be looking out each other during the storm, sure I’ll be hanging out with my mother as this storm approaches. But its the secondary relationships that really bothers me. I have had questionable “friends”, and I would logically assume that friends would reach out during times of trouble, whether they are personal or meteorological.
This storm is coming at the worst timing as I am trying to get a break from this stressful year. Now this storm may just cause even more and more stress, and I can’t wait till the end of the storm for the post-mayhem goes away, as we go into the holiday season of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Christmas and then New Years.
@Work Relationships (and boundaries)
This post might be for the audience that has experienced or knows people with special needs.
As I am looking to start getting a job or going into a work program, I am preparing myself of how to tackle my difficulties known as socialization. For someone like me, allegedly there roadblocks of how to have an retain an “appropriate” “boundaries” with peers, superiors, and other social “status”.
I am going in a mind set of having a [super] professional respect and boundaries with my prospective co-workers. Work is not a place to make friends, its a place where you are expected to perform and do what is expected in your job title. Often, people with autism or other disorders typically do not know what is right and what is wrong. Thats where the “boundaries” comes from.
Now there are places I have contemplating of working. I feel given my educational background of a fraction of a high school diploma* and unfortunately in the mean world of reality, people do judge you by how many “pieces of paper” you have framed. Doesn’t matter what the context is on that piece of paper, its how people judge you. So I have settled with the idea of working in retail in some of those “cool” stores at the local malls. Since I have gotten less and less laid back (for whatever reason, since it would be improper for me narrow it down giving I have been in a real angry mood, and some of my thoughts might be totally wrong) that I might not even gel well at those places where its socially ok to be laid back and casual.
* I got a High School diploma, but I felt that I didn’t work harder to really deserve it. In my view, they overstated my grades just to give me the diploma with the intent to get need services in the future. I wanted to learn more, instead of learning to do vocational work; and I didn’t get what I felt like I needed.
Another issue is some of these work programs for special needs (like autism) have targeted the high functioning population and think they can meet the high standards. Like the last work program I was in was pretty white-collared, putting high standards (since thats how the corporate world is) and expecting to meet those demands, and have 0% mistakes.
Now I have nothing wrong about the corporate standards, as that has been part of my DNA for almost my entire life. My problem is the “high functioning” population that is often misunderstood of having Asperger Syndrome* while most AS individuals are typically normal, above normal and don’t have significant issues. So if I come off as someone with AS, then the standards go through the roof, and if I fail to meet the standards, then I get fucked by the system. Often people with AS come off as a high standards individual, such as dressed in a corporate attire in some cases.
*currently NOT part of the Autism Spectrum Disorder. The disorder has “autistic-like” traits, while individuals are known to have”social difficulties.” Again the focus on the latter, and most cases these people don’t have delays like autistic people traditionally have. Do not believe people when they say they have Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism; which clinically is NOT. Also the official name does not have a posseive noun, referring to Hans Asperger, the doctor that coined this non autistic disorder.
Well that last sentence would apply to me. I often dress up as a corporate attire, because I was taught to be a high class individual, and have higher expectations than his peers because people had pushed me to “go to my full potential.” Today I often dress up, and have a lanyard of an ID badge of what is now a defunct IT consulting firm that I was trying to do before I got a “real job.” Again it has been perceived that there needs to be an “image” to come off as a professional as opposed to his “normal” peers of being inappropriate, dressed over casual, or act immature, as someone like me can’t do things like that and often would be considered as scandalous.
As I go back onto the topic of “relationships at the workplace” there are laws I need to comply (no not Sarbanes Oxley or HIPAA, etc.) but laws like Sexual Harassment, Harassment and follow ethics. Again, while my “normal” likeminded group have enablement of doing things that should be called out on. Ethics is my highest point. I feel that I need to be the “good guy” and expect to have the highest respect in the workplace.
I might be a person that people may hate if I work as a Genius at The Apple Store, or a clerk at Aeropostale or flipping burgers at a Five Guys, because I have been taught to be professional, and to retain full respect of the public and my future co-workers. And I have a conclusion to make sure I put everyone up on a pedestal and respect all my co-workers as a higher level of socialization.
If I didn’t have autism, I’d probably be in Iraq or Afghanistan being in the U.S. Miltary. I seem to have military standards in me.
Call me crazy, but I am a professional with meeting high standards 24x7x365. Because I am expected to be a professional.
Identity Issues
I am someone who is socially inexperienced. On top of that, I am kinda sometimes an oddball person. On top of that, you mix the two together – you get someone who has dealt with an autism spectrum disorder for his entire life then slap in his additional insecurities. Enter the semi issue of Gender Identity Disorder.
Between my semi childlike demeanor as well as having odd interests compared to my peers, as well as having insecurities of his masculine side, I have to deal with not coming off as a gay individual. Why you ask that? It’s because I like to do various art stuff, drawing, painting (seldomly), like fashion a teensy bit for being a guy I used to like Sex and the City (before I couldn’t take the very liberal storylines no more) and one of my favorite lines from Carrie Bradshaw, was the “gay, straight man” type
My mother has been concerned about some of my mannerisms, and my mother doesn’t want me to come off as a certain type. Just the other day I was taking a landscape photo on my iPhone, and I held it with the thumb on the bottom and my pinky and index finger to hold the top while I used the middle finger to execute shot using the hard shutter button which is the upper volume key. Apparently thats how girls would take a picture, as my mother told me to put the other fingers down. Am I that bad?
Now, I am not here to bring up issues such as homsexual or being gay. Its not. Well, sometimes I could have “man crushes” but not “gay” or at least I don’t think so. This goes back to my post earlier this week about the fine like of flirting in a sexual sense, but in the 180 turn, but at the same time, I also have admiration of the beauty; since I have somewhat of a fashion geekiness to add to all my other geekiness inside of me.
I don’t get why homosexual male fashionisitas have to have a monopoly on this subject or the industry for that manner. I can’t imagine that I am not the only semi manly, but straight guy that loves fashion (maybe I should be more specific – FEMALE fashion.)
This goes back to the art, why is always males being artists go right to the gay guys? I have nothing against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and other homosexuals, but sometimes I get tired of their monopoly on fashion, art and antiques.
I am someone who doesn’t care what interests are for what gender. If boys want to play kitchen so be it just as girls should have the same social expectation of playing with the Fisher Price workshop toys just as the same as guys liking chick music or movies just as girls would are into the Harry Potter and other fantasy collections that used to be limited to the in the closet “geeks” or guys for that manner.
How “Friends” Selfishly Communicate in the 2010s. (V.2)
My grandmothers birthday was recently. She lives in another community as we are preparing for her to move to our house by the end of the year. She is the last member of my small family to move into our new home that we have been living for the last couple of years.
We were going to plan to celebrate over the weekend, but it got postponed. I remembered her birthday on that specific day, and I sent an actual birthday card, and obviously it arrived a few days later. I need to call her and check up on the status.
My grandmother is as analog as you get (she lives in such old social standards, like sending a card that is HANDWRITTEN of a thank you via post mail. She doesn’t like the ideal of Facebook (because she’s an extremely private and quiet individual, therefore she doesn’t like how people would post their entire lives on the internet. In some ways I don’t like that because my general ideal of excessive privacy leads to troubled and corrupted lifestyles – i.e. my own personal views of local government lead me to be somewhat opposite to her views.)
She never used a computer outside of work (only using a specific mission critical app in the last decade), and she again, as an old lady prefers phone calls and letters. Because she’s a “farmers girl”, she views the world as “little” and revolves what my former town being “small town” like 5,000 people small which wasn’t the same in over a half a century ago.
Well I am someone who tends to not focus on the past (thats the family curse of afraid of change) but I try to live in a semi reasonable, but progressive society. At some point people need to adapt and stop reliving like my town is still a small town where everyone knows everybody, etc.
Now that ends to a point, and when my nostalgia comes into play.
I often don’t celebrate my birthday (and its becoming just “another day” beginning this year) because it was generally forgotten. People would not remember, often they need some aid to help them, like using Facebook – that’s if someone publicly publishes their birthdate/day online. The “friends” I used to have were really not friends. These people never seemed to look beyond your default picture or album. I had my birthdate as my handle on my MySpace, YouTube and Twitter accounts, but no one seemed to ever visit them, or even question what 3 digit number meant, especially when I used to put strong synergy across all my profiles.
They never reciprocated, and never went the extra mile (because that was dirty work for these entitled jerks.) Now granted, I did send emails, and not cards via mail. But an email is now the social standard to the old fashioned “letter” but digital and in fact is more personable than opposed to text. If you use Microsoft’s Outlook like I do, email gets stored into a computer file and can be read on any modern email client, etc.
Text messaging, however is the lowest standard for communication. Why? Its because the text messages can easily be deleted, and one touch of a button and the message disappears for good. This isn’t good if you want to keep a breakup letter for eternity as opposed to a letter or an email. Its much easier to send a half-assed thoughtful message via SMS as opposed to taking 5 minutes out of your busy life to type up and send an email birthday wish, etc. (For the record, I was never a fan of online greeting cards.)
Now back to Facebook, often if a birthday occurs, it gets published on the frontpage, then one starts the wish, then it extends to everyone else when people start to notice that trend on their News Feed. I did a test in 2010, made my birthday private, then made it public later that day. Guess what happened? These alleged “friends” wished my a happy birthday after. How fucked up is that? These same people who didn’t care that I turned 21 ether, never offered to have a drink together or what, as these people were social alcoholics to begin with.
Facebook, and all these other iDemented devices are really dumbing down the “normal” population and the groups who were forced and mentally raped of social standards, and socialization protocols, and other CAN’T dos, are actually going to be the best and the brightest because we socialize like robots by doing protocols and ettiques, while the “normal” population have an open license to be a jerk.
I try to be the good guy, and yet I get punished.
Message a Girl…Ask for Trouble, part two
Another (possible) date – with no response yet. (I might have to admit my profile might scare people off – well I have to be true and honest why I can’t stand bitches! I don’t regret if I am making females run away from me.)
Sometimes I wished the Government didn’t invent the internet. I’d rather be severely autistic than being a high functioning autistic.
“Boys are Stupid”…Some Lefties say “Throw Rocks at them!”
If people don’t know already why I don’t have a girlfriend..
…Its because I am stupid! (according to the feminist groups!)
Well according to this image I am! I am autistic, and come off as a lost boy at times, so why shouldn’t I be surprised!
Remember earlier on, I mentioned the MySpace bumper sticker entitled “Boys are Stupid…Throw Rocks at Them!”? Turns out it actually is a tee-shirt that actually has a Wikipedia entry and is classified as “Violence Against Men”
Here is an executive summary from the Wikipedia page:
“Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!” is a slogan on a T-shirt by Florida clothing company David and Goliath. The slogan is printed next to a cartoon image of a boy running away from five stones flying in his direction. People magazine ran a story on the T-shirt, opening with a quote from a then 10 year-old girl, “I want to make boys feel bad because it’s fun.”[1]
Additional information from the Wikipedia entry claims the following
“The T-shirt was designed by company founder Todd Goldman, who started David and Goliath in 1999 with “Boys are Smelly” T-shirts. It now features clothes with a variety of slogans, such as “Boys tell lies, poke them in the eyes!” or “The stupid factory, where boys are made”. “Boys are stupid …” has evolved into a successful object for merchandise, which includes all types of clothes, mugs, key chains, posters and other items. Critics argue that the simple mainstream acceptance of such material is evidence of a deeper and underlying culture of contempt and hatred towards men in Western society, asserting that a book of similar design that targeted a different group (such as Blacks, Jews, or women) would not be treated with such tolerance.[6] The slogan has also been criticized by Bernard Goldberg in his book, 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America, where Todd Goldman, the shirts’ creator, was listed as number 97.
Some other bloggers about the subject of “relationships” might skew to the liberal, but I skew to the conservative. This “Boys are Stupid” was a product of the left, and opposition came from the right for rightful reasons. Its an utter shame that we have people in society that degrade women, but we also have MEN that degrade their own gender – COMING from the SAME group that’s all for “tolerance”!
I am not getting into a political discussion, as I just did the research on this after looking up the picture to use. I never knew the history prior to writing this. Now I feel much reassured that this was (since this was almost a decade ago) a liberal attack against males, boys and or men. Unforutnetly, I as a male with a disability have been abused by the malicious, childish, reckless and careless liberal people in this society.
Its a shame that this was even done to begin with. Goldman should be sent to hell.
Message a Girl…Ask for Trouble
I am trying to message to single ladies online…but its really hard when the monopolistic gender overrides the world. Women and their retarded skepticism that all men are creepers and sex offenders, and jerks. Like some women aren’t that ether – right?
If my iPhone doesn’t go off – i’ll know its this “Danielle”. The other day I sent this single a message – cue to the full screen:
Did I screw up? What was I NOT supposed to say? What SHOULD’VE I said to her?
Special Needs “Professionals” = Bad Matches
As I have mentioned earlier on, I am trying OKCUPID for the remainder of the year. I am so sick and disgusted at the many users that have professional experience with special needs. You might be asking why I am bitching about this? It’s because these people often have self-esteem issues, and if they are having trouble dealing with these people during their day job -then why in the fuck do they want to fuck around with them off the clock?
Yes its cool that there are more and more people being open to these people, but the other issue, is that many of these ladies (and guys, but they aren’t relevant for this post) are probably are going to get “burned out” and then some.
I think I have been cursed since my first day of existence for any romantic or hell any possible relationships.
Sex, Attraction, Anger, Lust and the Hunger for Romantic Love
Note: This post may contain some content of explicit sexual nature. Reader Discretion is Advised.
As someone who has experienced zero romantic relationships, and just a billion crushes, it is extremely difficult for being single, not able to date people or be sexually active. Not that being sexually active is right to begin with. However, there are times my hormones go through the roof (and of course, being someone with an autistic disorder, I have to control myself or become a Level 3 Sex Offender.) Part of it is because I haven’t felt the physical form of love. I used to hug people in the recent past, but since my social circle has shrunk it hasn’t happened. I’ve only kissed a few girls outside of the lips, and I never had any forms of sexual encounters or anywhere near that. Nor was I ever sexually abused, it may be best that I add that in there.
I see “normal”/”nerotypical” or “typical” or someone that doesn’t have a disability can get away with social norms, but for someone like this writer, its frowned upon. You see this same thing on Facebook, a sexually attractive lady getting attention on a comment of her default image of what would could be considered as sexist statements. I should say reversed sexist comments. If I made a similar comment, I would be a Level Three Sex Offender, but a “nerotypical” (“normal”) person would get away of it. Why is that?
I really wished I could hit on a girl successfully. I don’t. Often I just failover to just be quiet. I often don’t know how to flirt. Lately, I have an influx of testosterone so I often want to flirt in a sexual nature. Often I am just too chicken to really go that far. The other day, I went to a store and the cashier was a pretty sexually attractive lady with cleavage showing with a cute pushup bra and camisole with her bust very aligned. I just got silent, my voice just got too scratchy or way too soft and it goes that way when my sex hormones goes out of wack and she probably thought I was a crazy animal. That girl or lady had a sexy figure, borderline “slender” about 5 foot 6, and well she was blond (and typically I don’t dig for blonds) but she was pretty hot regardless.
Sometimes I’ll go to the preppy clothing stores that aren’t in the “anchor” mall stores, and try to flirt with a few of the hot ticket clerks, but again I can’t do it. One time I saw a hottie with a sexy dress skirt and it got to the point I got aroused, then another time I’ll see a girl with a skimpy top where I start having “fantasies” of wanting to play with the straps, and maybe strip off her bra or her skimpy top and just make out! Often my brain focuses on an object and sometimes it focuses on the girl of interest. Sometimes its the object or the outfit that will do it, and sometimes I’ll just get sexually crazy, but I of course have to keep control of it, again as I already mentioned earlier. Another time, I’ll go to one of those places and see some hottie with a tube top and then a really tight shorty shorts with a sexy inch and three quarter leather belt sitting comfortably on her hips and wanting to touch those fine legs. (Boy, that took guts writing this explicit paragraph!)
While I get sometimes horny and just sexually crazy, I have to say I never had any sexual encounter. Whether you like it or not, or agree or disagree with the morals of ether underage sex, unwedded births or non marriage sex; people do “do it” and some don’t “do it”. And many people my age have done it, and these are privileged people with college degrees with a higher social class and are probably conservative types, but yet they aren’t religious. Kinda illogical huh? Well I am poor, disabled with a disability that about 70% of the people of my age bracket don’t care for, or would never want to fuck with or even want to be friends (again referring to the “normal” population.)
I do subscribe to the notion that girls go past their prime at 25 or their mid twenties, and well I hate to sound like a “cold hearted conservative”, but girls do look hot in their early twenties, and their sexual drive is at their peak, and they seem to be hot to get laid, and I again don’t want to offend anyone, but with that being said – I missed out on that. Its every guys (or girls) dream when they are in the junior year or in their college years to loose their virginity and litter the roads with condoms, and stuff like that.
I don’t want to say that I think lust is an appropriate thing to feel, but jeez in my long 25 years of not ether understanding interpersonal relationships or being accepted in society, its really progressing to be an aggravating sensation. I feel like I am one of the few people that unfairly has been missing out on what could be an awesome thing (or not even that ether!)
I don’t know what “love” is outside a family perspective.
Is “love” invisible like you know software or is it physical like hardware?
Is love touchable?
Is love just about feelings?
Is love about common likes?
Is there a such thing as “opposites attract”?
What is it? What is it? What is it?