Note: This post was written during the Alpha/Beta stage. I wanted to bump this up so you can read my views on why I am not in a work program yet, and how my (allegedly made up) social skills issues and the ever so confusing understanding relationships at the workplace has put me into a long and screeching halt. At the same time, I am going to take time off to sort out various issues as I noted on my other blog just now. I am hoping to come back and try to calmly write my frustrations on relationships again. I can’t imagine what others like me go through, let alone someone who is “normal”
I’ve not been in a job since early 2008. It had nothing to do with the economy, it was because it was part of my school program and the company was unable to hire me permanently under their payroll. The company was billed by my school and the school program in return would give me the paycheck. At that time, the company had some seasonal difficulties, though now they are doing much better because they are allegedly the suppliers for a famous phone made by a California tech giant.
With that being said, my last day was within the following week to my 21st birthday, which is when any special needs student looses their school services and land into the real and crazy world of adult services, which in the beginning can be very difficult. (Hereto, I’ll leave the rest of the technical stuff for The Forgotten Autistic, since I normally cover these general and personal issues.)
So I have struggled finding the right work program. I’ve dealt with one a few years ago and it was an utter fail. Now I am in a new area, therefore their might be some promising options or work programs.
There are a few issues with work programs outside of a school program
1) is the “image” of the programs. Some programs I had seen were “white collared” like jobs. Sure, white collared jobs are fun, I’ve experienced it a little bit over time
2) with that being said, there is of course a responsibility, accountability, and maturity, and the job “coaches” or “trainers” often have to push and push the clients. I have done very poorly with people pushing me. I won’t go into the details, maybe its something I don’t fully know yet.
3) another issue is, in one of these “startup” programs (and do I love “startups – insert sarcasm) the applications are lengthy and dare I say intimating. My mother probably would say that most places do that, and its what life is and how workplaces work, and blah blah blah. Well, can anyone understand that maybe it has to do with how the label changed my life, most importantly the “social” aspect?
4) whether or not I choose a work program or not, there is a roadblock. Knowing I have social difficulties (whether its real or synthetic) I’d feel awkward doing some even simple blue collared job (something more up my alley!) Or even a turtleneck job! How would I be able to interface with “normal” people in a retail environment? Some of those teen/college age stores are people ether much younger than me or if they are on or close to my age, they probably are perfectly tolerant to illegal aliens, homosexuals, physically disabled, other backgrounds or races but not for developmentally disabled people! I bet there are people in such places that have used the “little bus” joke just like they did in high school!
The deprival of my “social skills” and replacing it with fear, intensive self-doubt and over-thinking is the major road block to a future of a 20 hours or less work program. I have not properly addressed this to my support team yet. Part of it is the lack of listening of some of the people. I still have the office skills from the previous employer, its like riding a bicycle, its just the social part that is severely stopping my life. If anyone is willing to hear me out.
