Category Archives: A Puzzling View on Relationships (2011-2014)

A Puzzling View on Relationships existed on WordPress from 2012 to 2014. The concept was based on search results from An Alleged Autistic “can autistics fall in love”, etc. Back when Google and WordPress could give you those results. Posts from 2011 to August 2012 came from An Alleged Autistic first, since A Puzzling View went live in September of that year.

Wacky Weather

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I’m going off topic for a few moments, it is really weird where I live where we are experimenting with the weather.
On Monday, we had snow flurries and got about 2″ of snow. Yesterday it was cold and near sub freezing temperatures  It got warm by the day, and by late afternoon, it hit 50 degrees and overnight the winds were hallowing and the coldfront was slowly coming in. I tried to go to sleep at a decent amount of time to try to keep my immune system strong given the abnormal cases of the influenza. I don’t want to get sick or die (yet) so I was trying to stay relaxed.
However, I got woken up throughout the night and early morning of all the winds. I sleep in the north end of second story of my house, so it sounds pretty intense. By 6:00 am, I turned on my TV to see the morning newscasts and there was no sigifanct closings of local school districts, and the time and temperture bug was showing 58 or 60 on the Boston stations, and the Manchester station had it at 62 degrees. Who woulda thunk that Manchester would get so warm? Nashua typically gets pretty warm when a warmfront comes.
This morning’s high in the Boston area was warmer than the lows in Dallas, Phoenix,  San Francisco! Their morning lows are closer to what we would expect during this time of year up here!
Well I went on a morning walk, because as lame as this is going to sound, I was actually liking the warmfront. As disappointed I was to see how soft the ground is and seeing the snow disappear pretty quickly, I was enjoying some of the humidity. During the wintertime, we have very dry winters and it isn’t good for your body, I have to keep my skin moist and keep myself hydrated.
So I checked the local stations, and they said there was a gusts of winds near 50mph in Western New England, with cell of squalls.  I was such a dummy to forget that  it would hit me where I live in a few minutes!
I went on a morning walk, and I got to an intersection where there is a guard there in the mornings to direct the heavy traffic. (The town I live is was pretty frugal to think they didn’t want to spend millions of dollars for a traffic light years back, and insisted they just retain a guard, and I bet they spent more on paying the morning guard. And those old farts probably have the last laugh because town has grown more than 10,000 people 25 years since, and again their stubborness has cost us more!)
The guard said to me, ” what a nice day to walk! Be careful!” I replied with a “Thank you!” Ten seconds later, that cell that was in Western New England (far west Worcester County/Pioneer Valley Mass and the Peterborough area of NH) came right by. The winds suddenly picked up, there was the pellet like hail and it just suddenly got so cold, and I had to walk pretty carefully so I wouldn’t slip and fall.
I came back home after getting a morning coffee at the local Dunkin Donuts and about 30 minutes ago as I came back, the temperature outside my kitchen read 46, a 9 point drop in less than 30 minutes.
I’m telling this story to you first, because if I told my mother, she would had been scared to death. The roads I walk on were engineered for a town that thought it would always be 5,000 population forever.  Regardless, I have a few friends if that I can go out and stuff, so I am pretty self reliant. I have to be. And the risks I take I believe are reasonable. I try to avoid being the headlines on the top of first block of the 6:00 news or be a statistic above the fold of the morning newspaper.
Regardless winter will return later today and into tomorrow with some snow flurries. It probably won’t stick, but there should be snow showers on Sunday that should!

Useless Statistics

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I do not know when the threshold of the 200 likes occurred (as I am assuming in late December it hit, I have no date stamp and WordPress’ most recent and most  ineffective change on the cloud version has made looking at the numbers more difficult) but in some ways I find it a success for this blog.
Even when I have strongly suggested if you really, really like a story, I still haven’t seen why don’t you elaborate in the comments.
I frankly don’t care about statistics, its just another way to blow ones ego in the blogosphere, I feel it has some merit to the success, but I am still disappointed at the lack of feedback of my readers. I feel that you are defining why our society has fallen part. I feel that you are abusing the “Like” feature by being lazy and trying to be nice with me when I feel that there might be a fakery relationship between me and you. I have gotten some flack at recent decisions I did on this blog on my Facebook page. And apparently the comments from a Facebook user named Debora Santos about my recent decisions (as you can see on the Facebook page with no followers yet) was pretty critical.
I know what you may think. That someone like me should suffer alone and cry and live in his house 16×7 and work a few hours a day and be isolated to the real world. I get that. I have read your blogs, and I can kinda paint a picture based on who you people are and what you believe or what your backgrounds are. And by your actions, (i.e. using the starred bug on the upper part of the screen)  is how you think you should be communicating with me. I get it.
Thank you for confirming the fact that someone like me should live a shallow social life and work his ass off, ensure he is in all legal compliance and writing this blog for fun.
Again, thank you for confirming the fact that people with any form of Autistic disorder should never kiss, never fuck around and never have any real friendships with normal or the clinically correct word NEROtypical people!

SEEKING STORIES: “Normal”/ASD Romantic Relationships

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A project I am working in the coming months is to figure out if there is possibilities for people with autism to be in romantic relationships. One way is to see if they currently exist.
I’m seeking a female that is “normal”/”nerotypical“/non disabled and a male that is an autistic individual/other PDD/ADHD (since statistically this would be the common form of a inter/neurological relationship since most people with autism are 4 out of  5 cases are males.) I do not want to sound judgmental, I’d be more interested in people that don’t have Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome does not have the significance and severity of traditional autism or other high functioning autism.
I would like to know:

  • Are you in a relationship?
  • How long have you been in this relationship?
  • What are the advantages/disadvantages of a co-existing romantic relationship?
  • Have ether of you been single for the long-term prior to becoming a couple?
  • Are you engaged/married?
  • Optional, what about sex and physical relationships? How have you managed?

I’d love to hear from people to confirm if there is possibilities for others too.
If you are willing to do a collaborative story, or submit a story  you can use ether the comment page or contact me directly if you want it initially in confidence.

Second Anni of The Collapse

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It’s been two years since I had hit rock bottom in my social life.
I had a friend in high school who I didn’t consider a friend till the last year or so in that high school program I was in. The friend, has a form of Asperger Syndrome, and he finished HS 3 years before I did. (This is why I don’t flaunt my high functioning status like I used to.) I think it was safe to say we had a hot and cold relationship. We never went out outside of school hours, and it was basically online.
Up until late 2008 did things change.  This friend lived near Lowell, Massachusetts, and I would go to the Lowell Devils AHL hockey games. It was then where we would meet. In fact we had met on an often basis up untill mid 2010 when a perfect storm occured. I moved to my new town, Lowell moved to Albany (due to shoddy management of the NJ Devils) and there was no hockey games, and then I started to see “the girlfriend” come into his life.
She’s real, and she IIRC went to his elementary school. He never had from the best of my own knowledge any serious relationship with anybody. In fact, I never doubted, nor should anyone doubt ones friends. This girl started to circulate in text messaging (since I laid off the phone calls for various reasons, and later went back to instant messaging.) Again, I was surprised, but I didn’t have skepticism or doubts.
Since I am a virgin of all types of relationships, I don’t know what its like to have a girlfriend  a best friend, or even a brother or sister relationship. I just don’t know. I’ve had people tell me that a girlfriend can distract other forms relationships, but I can’t independently confirm the accuracy of those claims because I never had any stable relationships.
2011 came along, and he started to become careless, another sign that someone is allegedly “In a Relationship”.  Of course I was taught and taught almost in a hostage situation of how to reciprocate and ask follow up questions and be an active listener, as “girls find it sexy when a man listens” according to a real psychologist who claimed to know everything about autism.
However it is a different standard if you are someone with Asperger Syndrome, a normal person or anyone else who doesn’t have PDD. He became out of character with no responses like when  I got a “new” notebook (a used HP business notebook.)  No follow ups. I was attempting to deploy a voice over IP/IP Telephony communications system as he knew I had a strong passion for telecommunications and office voice networks. Again nothing. Not only that, I was trying to branch out and learn to use a Cisco type system, and again one has to cue the crickets. He was never like this, when it came to some commonality of interest  if it was something totally different, then one could understand.
It was becoming unbearable trying to ping on the other end of the session to only find out he didn’t have time for me anymore.  I don’t get how they can be together for so long and yet I don’t see their love for one another.
But again, I do not have proper entitlements to make such statement, since I never had any romantic relationships and I should just continue on with this story.
I made a strong statement in late August of that year, and the communication broke off. I later apologized in a Skype IM, because I knew I said something really nasty, and I unlike other people, had a guilty conscious. But as last year came along, there was probably a few times (if that!) we had a communication. Last year, I kept it extremely simple. I knew I was talking to a dead person (for a lack of a better description) and the relationship was essentially over.
I have gotten over it for the most part, however it was two years ago to this month where the relationships from about 2002 would come to an end. My friendship didn’t last a decade, but at least a good 8 years (with those hot and cold periods) wasn’t too bad. It was my longest.
However, my next friendship I would hope would be someone who is a significant other, because it would last forever and not the every two years I had to deal with for my entire life.

Crushes, part two

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If there is a such thing as a relationship status called “crushes” then that’s the only closest relationship outside of my family.
Another word is infatuation, meaning one is foolishly in love with someone. Crushes are well known for someone with ASD, as in some cases
I’ve dealt with it since I was 12. Some of them were highly intense and caused mass devastation in the years that followed. And it can be severe.  In many cases with ASD individuals is teachers, since many students are male and are in a 98% male educational establishment. And of course we cannot date teachers as that is immoral and illegal even when you are in that gray years of 18 to 21.
But I’ve gotten a LOT of grief throughout the years of having a crush on somebody. If I can redact part of my past, I would, but you can’t fully redact history.
I’ve learned to gag myself about talking about crushes in order to protect my reputation, since I am one that gives a damn about his reputation. Obviously I try to not be as obvious, and I’ve learned to try to tone down my feelings. I don’t talk about, just like how I just mentioned (hence the “gag’), and I just zip it. I’m not a homosexual, but I observe the “don’t ask, don’t tell” practice. If someone asks me if I have a crush on someone, I don’t say just like I shouldn’t say I have a crush on somebody.
Why?
Because if I do, then the crush becomes one large superstorm and it just get out of control and then the storm comes by with shame, anger and guilt.
And sure people may pick on me as a form of admiration, but it has destroyed my reputation.
I always happen to like the wrong people, the ones who are married or “In a Relationship” or someone with kids. And I also apparently like to repeat history and never learn from my mistakes, since I keep having infatuations with different people. Maybe because I have been so accustomed to a one-way relationship and having the PDD label tattooed on my forehead that I feel that will be the only relationship I can have, even if its strongly unhealthy.

14 Days of Hating Vday: Kissing is So Overrated

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I’ve said from time to time, that I never kissed a girl (as of yet.) For many years (probably within the last 10), I was hoping and thinking that it would happen. It hasn’t. I thought maybe in 2008 it would happen, then 2009, maybe in 2010, not so in 2011 but felt in 2012 that what is the big fucking deal? I don’t think its going to happen. I’ve kissed more girls on her cheeks than they have ever kissed in return. Really sad isn’t it? There is so much to hate about about St. Valentine’s Day, but I won’t go there.

Facebook – “Real People” + Fake Content = No Social Accountability

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It is no surprise that Facebook is not good for the overall society and of course its the few bad apples of the “normal” functioning population.
The background of this story was inspired by a recent posts of a blog I follow, Once a Month 4 Ladies, I also opined on this post.
There has been studies dating in the last couple of years that using Facebook and having friends who post over glamorous content that is only a snapshot of ones life.
It is hard to try to distill all the drama from the childish adults on Facebook.
One of my pet peeves is how people have locked down their profile down to only “friends” who can see the content. I am not saying I am a creepy and Level 3 sex offender or a stalker, but if you are keeping things private, then should you even be putting promiscuous photos on the packetwaves called the Internet?
Especially when it’s someone who posts a scandalous default picture, then gets all creeped out from all the attention. Well if you build it, people come! It isn’t my fault that someone upstairs made you beautiful! Its not my fault that your father wasn’t doing his job of teaching you how to control your assets!
The rest of the story comes from some heavy personal opinions of being raised from a not so privileged family, and someone dealing with his disorder, of being younger and more neiave than his peers. I started to see the ins and outs of the social privileged world when I was just 21 or so. And coming to such realization really disturbed me, but it was always like that, and in every society there is privileged class.
What has driven me nuts is how people who use Facebook are required to use their “real name”. Facebook has said for a long time that society’s social norms believe if you use your real full name in the real world that it should extend to the virtual world.
Let me tell you some secrets, since I live near the county where Facebook was created. There are some certain locales where people’s egos go above their “full name”. In certain affluent areas like Hahhhvahhhd Yahhdd, or Westchester County, NY, people have certain levels of social class or status. And in these certain privileged social circles, referring to someone like Mark Zuckerberg for an example is proper social protocol to refer him by his full name, because it is the uppity way of addressing someone who has high levels of social privilege.
You’ll also notice in comments, especially on embedded websites like Weather.com, where people will reply to users by their full name. If there is only one Stephanie*   in the thread, some people will refer you unwillingly as “Stephanie Brickenelli*”. Again my theory of uppity and ultra classy socialization is in my opinion just wrong.
*using a random and fictitious name
Since Facebook went live first in Harvard and later to a few other Ivy League colleges (oh, I mean University), it would explain my logic about the uppity class of “full name”. Sure MySpace or Live Journal was a screenname based system, Facebook was trying to eliminate the screen name because allegedly you could be anyone behind a screenname.
Well Catfish has clearly debunked that myth, and the worst offense is people are fibbing behind the real-name sites like Facebook!
So in these real-name social networks, people may be posting things under their real given name, but the issue is how they over focus on the positive! Their lives under their real-name are so rosey, the truth kinda gets a little twisted. And sadly, some people get caught into the over positive, that it causes people to avoid contacting them  (and my own Facebook account was over negative.)
Unlike other people, I don’t fault Facebook. It isn’t the medium, it is the message. It is the people who post things under their legal identity and they hold no accountability; from the scandalous photos to just making their lives comparable to a Cambridge, Massachusetts or Cambridge England of a socially privileged class.
However, if Facebook should deserve such criticism, Facebook opened an offline world of uppity social class and virtualized it and made everyone both online and offline a socially entitled brat, and that’s the sad truth about the [social] world that revolves around Facebook.

Personal Story: Tiaras, Beauty Queens and Biaches

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I watched the Miss America Pageant on television the other weekend, and the only reason why I did was to see Miss Montana, also known as Alexis Wineman, an 18 year old who has a form of autism, specifically PDD-NOS. Some people speculated she has a form of Asperger Syndrome, but AS is technically not part of the autism spectrum disorder as of this writing. Alexis has mentioned publicly that she suffers with social issues, and has constant meltdowns.

She did pretty well regardless, and of course what you see on camera, can be totally different off camera. That applies for everyone, not for someone whose autistic.

I have to say she’s a beautiful young lady given her autism and her struggles in her early life. There aren’t that many girls with autism and ones that look beautiful.

I digress.

Continue reading →

Sexual Harrassment Training

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Yes, I’m going to cover my sex harassment class on this blog.
I had actively had an IT services business up until last July. I had to shut it down (i.e. find a real paying job) since I couldn’t function with no business.
Regardless, I still on an occasion do stuff.
But my IT services business is typically sitting down and doing terminal work such as active directory, domains, and other server related stuff. I do get down on my hand and knees sometimes when a ProLiant craps out for whatever reason.
So I consider my business as corporate class. As such, I often do annual things like creating my own Acceptable Usage Policies or AUP to connect to my own network, and sometimes sign other forms like that quarterly and other things you would expect in a corporation.
So as such, I’m going to watch an online presentation and sign off after the fact.
Now I can’t speak to the normal people but in my high school, before the sex ed lessons began, we had to start off  with a sexual harassment video. (We didn’t sign forms unlike my company.)
For whatever reason, special needs people, whether or not they did something “creepy” in the past or what, we were treated as the same.
Here is a few pointers:

  • Whether or not it was intentional or not, it is illegal to harass in a sexual nature
  • Using various phrases can be illegal
  • touching in a spot that someone could be offended is wrong
  • You can look, but you can’t touch someone
  • Hugging should be limited
  • If you want to kiss a single stranger, ask first! Never Push!
  • I believe public displays of affection is wrong, and considered as sexual harrassment
  • Since I am a contractor, I can’t go and give out contact to a prospective customer, as that could be considered as soliciting for a date business relationship
  • Hostility can be very serious, if someone is witnessing (whether its at work or in the public domain) behavior like PDA or other harassing behaviors that could cause threat or harm to the couple or the harasser, it can be bad. Examples like quitting a job, blackmail or even wanting to commit suicide.
  • Such practices should extend to electronic services such as online sites, Facebook and other social media services.

Again in closing, not intended to harass people is not the point.  Sexual Harassment, or just plain embarrassment is that ones perception is the reality. Perception is Reality. Whether or not it was intentional or not, it is illegal to harass in a sexual nature
I hope you are well trained and you sign your annual form that you had been in training and you are now in compliance with corporate policies and state and local laws!
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