The Hopeless Autistic: When a Day Program Creates Hopelessness

New topic with an old subject title. It’s an ongoing situation, names and locations will be withheld written originally for my named page in December 2019. 

I am currently in a better adult day program to help me be less dependent what some call “the system.” There is no perfect program, no perfect staff, but situations are far from realistic.

I am getting a unsettling sensation that I am getting unfairly pushed out. I have an invisible disability, and because I am not in a wheelchair, I am not needy. I am not disabled-enough!

The Vendor, that I will leave nameless had went through a bunch of changes in the last six months. Change and autism are an oxymoron. This isn’t a standard “change”. These were core support people ether left or got reassigned. Changes in the corner office impacted people I went to for various things. It wasn’t just one person, it was an admin assistant, a mid level manager and a direct support staff that got promoted into entry level management.

All within 2 months. One of the departures was filled in through “attrition” (something that I have not heard since the Financial Crisis in the private sector, or a New Hampshire municipality at the said time.) This to me is raising flags. The next line as this writer who is no longer as naive anymore: “nothing will change.” Well guess what? The staff has changed, became more managerial, and any attempts on my part to try to heal the broken relationship of under 2 years has been spiked by management. I have been the only individual in the “team” who was willing to give another chance to improve the relationship. I waited for several months (because I am generous to give 2 of the 4 months to mgmt because I am a forgiving guy. That’s not sarcasm, that’s me.) And theres been line after line, after line that they will not admit as an excuse.

The situation is more autistic than me. But I am forced to take the slack, get the flack, and I cannot fault management for anything. Everything, 110% is my fault.

Since the summertime, I’ve seen more resources being directed to ones who are physically disabled. For someone whose has a “higher functioning” developmental disability, I think what the management has chosen to ignore is higher intensity of supports that can be argumentatively be equal to that dude in the ‘chair.      

The implied deflections, the lack of a team game (meaning that staff or managers taking responsibility if they screwed up), and the apparent pissing matches, and no staff listening, but cutting me off, or trying to shut me up (loud hum-hums over normal speaking volume of staff), has put strain on others.   My mother is apparently hurting, the reactions and frustrations posted on my Facebook for friends-only to probably ignore me.

I try to learn to “let go” but they are smart enough to know I am trying to do that to punish me in the form of the said actions. It’s truly a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t. In 3Q of 2019, I’ve neutered myself so badly, to the point where I just don’t care anymore. The system rewards people if they are so broken – physically. The only way to overcome autistic conditions is to basically break your neck.

THIS IS HOW LOW THINGS ARE HERE. AND I HAVE TO STFU AND MOVE ON. 

During some early mornings I’ve asked myself “My purpose here [other than the mother] is what again?” 

This is an ongoing story, more details to follow once the situation stabilizes, if it does.

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The Hopeless Autistic: Giving up on Self Advocacy

Originally posted in March of 2018.

The following is my own opinions only and are not reflective of any organization or individuals. Also any influence by any organization or people are not reflective in this post as well. This was from a time and place from my own observations.

I was asked by an out of country commenter what have I done for any contributions while I had been critical of certain self advocates with the infamous “Ableist Script” on Twitter in late 2015. Touching someone that doesn’t want to be touch could be considered as discriminative behavior in their fucked up world.

Anyhow as I responded I was on a planning committee for an annual “family support” conference for a number of years. Located at a couple different resorts over the years on US302 during the end of NH Spring vacation; I left the committee after being heavily burnt out. I was the only member in his twenties, second to two teenagers. I was the only individual with a developmental disability who actively went to a simple and rhetorical committee rubber stamping meeting.

Yeah it was to me a form of advocacy, but did it get me anywhere?

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The “Auto Pilot” of Conservatives and the Pro “Have-Nots” Policy in NH

Plagiarized, but adapted from my own site, that I rarely disclose publicly because it had been very controversial  to the people closest to me. So I had been publishing it since summer of 2017 to the end of this summer. The focus is on the hard right in New Hampshire that includes my group as an example to their rigid ideals.


Conservatives is rather amusing to witness their complete disregards to people not like them. New Hampshire is one of those states. There is right, then there is far right.

Relative to this site, autism and autism issues are often neglected by the right; the left and Hillary have or do, but exploit them for votes. With other social crises, conservatives wait till it’s too late because it’s in their interest to be low key and not jump and go through an obscene logical process to verify if there is such an issue politicians need to do.

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A Crazy Day

In this journal-esque post, I am recording what has been a crazy day.

*sighs*

Earlier this morning, I sent a mass blast to the VIP level leaders of my state about Autism Awareness Month and how things are systematically in the wrong direction.

In the nearly two thousand word memorandum, I outlined not supporting Autism Speaks and the state of Autism in the State of New Hampshire.

The people included were former supports, current supports, management level of my previously mentioned “core” supports, including my weekend respite (who works for the Commonwealth) and the former Commissioner, and everyone else I knew. The mother was not included, due to a potential conflict if she saw the memo. The individuals were blind carbon copied (and obviously these messages aren’t literally blind if you go through deep down the “headers”, but do they care to know that? No.)

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The Sad Story of The Moore Center, part two

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbQm73MAr-/?taken-by=stevenclickford

In the same week I posted my experiences in a previous life dealing with The Moore Center, the Union Leader ran a story on Saturday through their City Matters columnist about a Bedford family whom their son is about to turn 21 and will be going on a wait list.

The mother, Christine Bodi tells the paper “The system is really broken”

Say that a thousand times over.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDbR17gMAvD/?taken-by=stevenclickford

In the article, the individual, Andrew is severely autistic in functioning level and therefore he should be able to get services not to long after his birthday because after all the lower functioning are at higher risk, right?

Well you’d think. But The Moore Center (like other families that just wanted a glimmer of hope – once in their lives) would soon crumble as they sent the family the infamous letter stating there isn’t any funds.

As I previously posted, the area agency seems to not cooperate well with the local school districts, and without having a direct connection, how are they supposed to know whose aging out of school system?

Meanwhile the Bureau of Developmental Services is on defense and their publicist gave the paper a non answer thanks to the HIPAA restrictions.

While the Union Leader did say it’s “good deal” for having a public/private system (i.e Bureau funding Area Agencies), some fare better than others.

I don’t want to get too hyper local on this subject, while I did initially post about my dealings with them with skepticism (with hopes they had changed) this report kinda shows how they haven’t that much.

I feel there is a time and a place to feel for others frustrations despite the need to be somewhat selfish. I do this because I don’t want other families or individuals to go through what I went through eight years ago.

The Sad Story of The Moore Center

Originally posted March 18th, 2016

UPDATED: March 31st Typos, Typos and Typos, dammit!

It is typically against my policy on social media to discuss organizations or people by name unless there is notoriety factor and a strong case in favor to do so.

I want to discuss my first hand experiences with The Moore Center (previously known at the time as Moore Center Services, Incorporated) as a one time purpose and used as a historical record of my experiences for others to learn. The reflected accounts were from about 1995 to 2010. (More relevant accounts ranged from 2007 to ’10.) I can’t speak for them today because I do not know personally what is going on day to day as I have not been affiliated with them for years.

What I will say is I have sources who to this day who have had negative experiences or dealings with them. Simply put, The Moore Center is the largest area agency for Medicaid Waiver services for the state of New Hampshire, but acts as a charity organization instead.

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Why Men Love B!tches – Moi’s POV

2023 Note: That book still sells copies 7 years later at the same B&N.

Warning: Bad Language used. Please read with discretion

There’s a book published called Why Men Love Bitches (or something like that.) I found the book a while back at my local Barnes & Noble, and skimmed through it. I took a picture of the cover but can’t seem to find it on my machine or server, but who cares! I don’t remember much of the context; but more on the general message. Or at least if I can remember that as well!

I want to say that I don’t want this site to be all about relationships, but on the same time that subject has been a difficulty that I’ve struggled and still puzzled if that it’s my autism or the world around me that I can’t understand. I know for sure I’ll take a hit for speaking my version of the truth at least in this post…

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Why I avoid Wanting to Work in Ego-Driven Worlds

I wasn’t sure what blog to post it, my professional blog or this one. It’s on the theme of Why I Hate IT.

I don’t like the initials for Information Technology. IT was a broken concept from the beginning. IT’s roots began in the late 1980s when PCs became a mainstream product in corporate or enterprise settings.

There are two types of approaching technology, IS for Information Services or Systems and IT. The former was more focused towards users, focusing on solutions and outcomes and the understanding of how to craft a piece of software for the users.

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