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Divided Special Needs “Teams” = Hopeless Autistics

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I laugh about how there are IEP “team meetings” because in reality, there apparently is an “I” in the word team.

At least on the special ed level, and least in some areas in the Granite State.

Again in some areas, the culture in the special ed system, is all about silos, firewalls and safety mechanisms to protect each others interest. Unless you have the luxury of having an advocate involved, you’re out of luck.

I really am saddened how the New Hampshire special education and special needs system is all political. Sadly in your child’s live its not like Speaker of the House Tip O’Neil (D, Mass) and President Ronald Reagan (R) where they had differences, but worked in the best interest of the United States. On a very nano level, an IEP team is more divided than a political caucus. What’s more disturbing is the politics are more divisive when the child is in that grey years of 18 to 21.

There is no such thing as unity, unification, a common goal for the individual themselves. It’s political exploitation, manipulation and not enforcing basic IDEA rights and getting away with it only because the family is too ignorant or too poor to take legal action. Perhaps being too scared for recourse by the school systems.

This type of division I am a victim of. I use present tense, because the chars of glass that was broken in the high school years have not been put fully back together.

The system is broken. We need to stop having the professionals think about what they want from the child, and be open to what child or family wants. The disruption to the existing system should’ve began 10 to 15 years ago, but of course, politics stalled this. Now we need to enforce this disruption of service delivery so this nightmare of hopeless autistics can stay as a bad dream instead.

Help from a Doctor that Knows Adult Autism!

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2017 Preface: These sets of concerns had dated over a year before, hence it sits in the 2014 category.

Unlike Asperger’s Syndrome types who claim they have “Aspergers by self-diagnosing”, I for one won’t stoop down such levels. I’ve tried to find a therapist, a doctor, (an MD or dare I say a “PhD”) and there hardly is anyone skilled with autism for adults.

Everything is for “the children” but adults with autism are being just treated the same exact way as the first generation (births between 1987 to 1992/3) because for whatever reason there is a lack of resources for adults. They know what’s happening to “the children” because when the said groups become adults – this is what they will be expecting. So if that is the case, why not wait? And why are you letting the first generation suffer? Why in the hell in 21st Century, could autism been the first case of civil rights of progressive actions unlike Down’s (which took too many centuries too long) to address? And, with all the technology in the world (the Web, Internet, PCs, cable networks, etc.) are we still addressing like its the 1960s, of slow actions, misleading information in the media; why does society have regressive radical opinions like how the 60s was in general?  

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Obamacare and Autistics – Perfect Match To Work?

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I do not believe a socialized system has sustained for over a generation without falling apart completely. In the UK, their socialized healthcare system has been proven to be deadly, and while some “Aspies” will say “what’s wrong, everything seems to be good”. Well have they read papers like the Daily Mail? Oh wait, that’s a “racist”, “conservative” outlet.

You can never win to these people.

I digress.

While I do personally believe Obamacare (a.k.a. the “Affordable Care Act”) is not the best option for America (due to its problems from the very beginning) one can’t help to take advantage of working less than 32 hours a week without meeting the requirements to be eligible for Obamacare.

Granted my last job I had was about 8 months before Obama got elected, and I was working about 20 or so hours. I’ve used that as a barometer for attempts for jobs that would be perfect for Obamacare (retail, service jobs, etc.)

However, when I go to my local Uno’s or go to any store at the local mall, I don’t see many people with a visible disability. At a chain (or even a mum and pop restaurant) it’s ether lesser people or most ordering is placed through a glorified tablet (hopefully not an Android, but I fear it is one!)

Many people with a developmental disability could be taken advantage in a positive way to “contribute to society” and many would be willing to work in such sectors.

The question is… where are they? And are these companies taking advantage (positively) to hire these people to comply with Obamacare/ACA?

Well I popped that question to the state’s head of Vocational Rehabilitation last spring at an annual family support conference in front of hundreds of people.

I was told by her that there was a study the Federal Government was supposed to release, but apparently it’s been kept from the public, essentially.

Hey what about President Obama’s promise for an open and transparent government? And I thought he was supposed to be accommodating to people with developmental disabilities?

And where’s the outrage?

Basically I’ll end with the bumper sticker-esque line (which is true in my case) “Don’t Blame Me, I voted for McCain!” and “Don’t Blame Me, I voted for Mitt!”

“Ableism”, Trouble Making, and you people have a life?

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2017 Update:  I was on other parts of social media at this time too. There are many people who have higher functioning autism that you can’t tell them and a special-snowflake or a Social Justice Warrior apart. Prior to 2016, ether SJW or special snowflakes were not in the lexicon. 

The common problem with any advocate (including the anti-vaxxers is the ability to run away from their problems from time to time. Being razor sharp on such issues all the time is perhaps the very same reason why there is frivolous cases of “ableism” here and there. 

The problem is so many, they do not have a life. Life other than throwing rocks at opposing’s windows. 

Before I start, I should disclose, that I do feel that I myself, and perhaps others have become a victim of being discriminated by “ableism.” These Asperger’s types have gone so far to make “ableism” to be put on steroids. While there is discrimination, and abuse, there are more healthy ways instead of using University type of language in the tone of anger. I’ll even say for myself, it may not make me go anywhere…which is why I try to redirect the energy to reform. Oh I’m not sure if “reform” is an OK word.

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The Idiocy of Autism Advocates (and what they are missing)

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This was originally posted on my personal/professional blog. It has been adapted for the use on The Hopeless Autistic. Edited on November 11th.

Before I get mislabeled in the comments, I just want to put some level of scrutiny outside the 603 area code in terms of advocacy and autism.

You’ve heard about the anger of the advocates on Autism Speaks already and what they have done. I want to take this on another level and question why they act so arrogantly that there is nothing wrong with them and why mitigating their odd behaviors (different from a full fledged “cure”) may not be a bad idea.

I do blame the autistic community themselves also to create firey riots, but they do it in the packetwaves and in the ether – known as the Web.

I’ve never heard of “#ActuallyAutistic” until the April Autism Acceptance Month, and to this day I have no idea what the hell does that mean. Did someone say they weren’t autistic? Why are you wasting your time and resources to claim you’re really autistic? Because it sounds like you had an identity theft of your emotional and social makeup so you need to basically prove yourself. But if you really have to prove yourself, then why is it so rosey? Then to counter Autism Speaks’ blue color, they suggested to “walk in red”… whatever that means… Red can come off as many as a negative color, by the way.

Sorry autism can’t be glory all day long, nor can it be all gloomy ether. However advocacy should only be done when its the last resort (in my case I’ve been written up by my local police department, telling people to not Light it Up Blue in April for that same dude to retweet LIUB within an hour after the encounter. I for a lack of a better word “played the autism card” when I knew I was vulnerable.) More details on that subject by searching on the site.

To me that’s where advocacy should be, honest, serious, objective, fair (without attacking – like threatenings one’s ID, life or property to themselves or to others) and do it only when there is a need to do so. And not be so angry amongst a group, and be rational. Most of the super high functioning autistics are beyond rational that maybe they should be institutionalized – not because they’re autistic, but being radical moonbat lefists. But I have PDD-NOS so I must be retarded and I’m too simpleton.

Advocacy should be like WSVN’s news format

If it bleeds, it leads.

* * *

Positivity in terms of addressing special needs have really gone no where, and no listens when someone that appears to be able-bodied but can’t explain why they need assistance. Focusing on the negatives goes as far back as the dawn of time.

The other thing that irritates me is the hyper political nature of the super high functioning autistics. They’ll claim Autism Speaks are bullies, but why are they so insistent to continue a couple years old “Twitter bomb” known as #BoycottAutismSpeaks, which the brats will spam and harass people and organizations who follow Autism Speaks on Twitter. If they hate them so much as if they are dead, then why are they keep brining up the dead? It’s no dramatic than some daytime soap opera on the networks (the few that are still on.)

And also, if you have Aspergers like autism, I’m not saying you’re not autistic, the problem is do you know the real spectrum also includes  the ones that can’t speak for themselves? Do you also know that being all happy about your autism will offend parents of non verbal, and very “slow” adult children? And people like me who are too stupid to go to college? (Lets not bring up the ex friend from Lowell who calls anyone outside of Aspeger’s “retards.”)

I see a lot of advocacy and noise against the big cities, but never the little towns. In NH, the Council on ASD has a seat open for the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, but there is no representation, Why? Because these people come off as extreme liberals, too-cool-for little ol NH, they think its so far away from Boston, that there is no need to represent. They also want their trains and buses and they want walkable cities (they are too cool to drive) and they loathe republicans. (I’m not saying Republicans are perfect, but children die in Boston under excessive government control that these “Aspies” pray upon as their religion.)

While I am on ASAN, they’ll attack Autism Speaks for not allowing autistics to speak, but ASAN will not allow anyone other than an autistic to speak on the issue (so paras, doctors, alleged “experts” are basically shut up) its an exclusive club and it’s racist – or dare I say ableist – in its own way. So they complain about Autism Speaks to not allow autistics to speak, but they won’t let anyone outside of an autistic disorder to work for them or have outside perspectives?

Double Standards perhaps?

* * *

My ideal autism organization should advocate people both genders (transgendered is not appropriate for the general autism population for representation), early childhood to elderly, and focus on a wide variety of problems and hold everyone accountable, not just the evil ol Republicans and Autism Speaks.

Let’s see if anyone will expose Jim Watkins and Lauren Thierry to the point they can’t be in broadcast journalism ever again. But the problem is Aspergers or Super High Functioning types hate local commercial TV, so they have no idea what those two people were behind (the Autism Everyday film) and they don’t care about bridges, so they won’t mention the largest throfare in the East Coast, so don’t expect them to mention the George Washington Bridge by name.

The other problem is high functioning autistics are not innovative and they are very repetitive, so its not a total surprise they do the “Autism Speaks won’t allow autistics to speak and Autism Speaks produced a film where mother talked about driving off a bridge” instead of saying “Autism Speaks is lead by a former, clueless media exec who lacks strong communication skills and allowed a film to be produced by couple big market journalists who were well liked in their respective markets and allowed barbaric statements to be said.” Most people who follow business or worked in the media or communications business would know Bob Wright and many people in Boston, Philadelphia or New York who lived there for the time Watkins (and Thierry) worked at such stations would understand. Maybe there should be more research and teach the simple people something or people they can relate to (like a former host of Boston’s Evening Magazine)?

I am really giving the advocacy community the recipe without the patent fees. I’m giving you so many ideas but you choose to be stubborn and attack, attack and attack and force everyone upon will that you must like autistics because you’re special and you think everyone will like you. And in fact your lack of communication skills – I mean effective communication, will make your credibility more questionable.

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Denial by the Merrimack Town Council

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In the previous posts, I tried to stand by my words, that if the Chief of the Merrimack, NH Police Department wouldn’t reverse the inappropriate Tweet that came from an organization that had previously allowed people to state double-murder suicide, that I’d report him to the Town Council.

To say that my life has been everything but rejection would be an understatement. This “denial” letter came through certified mail by the “Chairman” Nancy Harrington. (I do not know how s/he/it identifies them self because she closes the letter as “Chairman”.)

The letter was addressed to me as “Mr.”, the redacted address piece began with “Mr.” and the opening began with “Mr.” – what in the f*** are these people think, they run Congress? This is a goddamned town council of a small town, why in the hell do people have to refer to each other as surnames unless they are sociopaths and not care for humans and treat the citizens like they are animals?

Unfortunately the robotic, lawyer assisted-type of emails kind makes me think the board does treat their citizens like animals.

Now onto the substance of the letter, “Ms. Harrington” claims that such concerns is a violation of the Town Ordinance because my concerns should be addressed to the Town Manager, and as you can read below, they stand by their woman. In the earlier post where I also called out the Town Manager for improper actions, they said it would be deferred to the their legal counsel with a final decision. Ms. Harrington also instructed me to “forward” any additional evidence to her (i.e. pass papers like passing the buck.)

She told me because its personnel matters, the board is not allowed to give me all the information relevant to this complaint, which is garbage because I wished they could’ve taken this as a public safety concern to all the developmentally disabled population of the Town of Merrimack.

She also expected the citizen to be cooperative and understanding. I think common sense (that isn’t a law) would basically be the opposite. I thought Merrimack people had common sense, but the Town government runs very different than other towns and they are very legalese. They can choose to stop acting legalese, its a choice not a requirement.

Below is the original letter

merrimack letter

Merrimack (NH) Police Department’s “ANTI-Autism” Agenda

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2017 Preface: this has been edited to redact names of individuals despite them being public officials. New Hampshire regulations have limited First Amendment protection against anyone under authority as I learned in 2016.

However as of this past April the Merrimack Police Department’s social media pages did not use the LIUB campaign. (But may had a huge impact after mocking the Retweet on a poster sized board outside of my house basically holding the department’s feet to the fire…is that proper to say?)

For outsiders looking in the various parties made errors.

You can fight Town Hall, but sometimes you can win the fight, and sadly you’ll loose and that idiom lives to its name.

As of November 2015, I’ve given up the fight from defamation, insensitive actions by my local police department and have avoided being in my community because of the continued fear of people in uniform.

The situation involved the town  Merrimack, New Hampshire Police Department and an initial innocent interaction of the Chief of Police, in April 2015 who I alleged took advantage of my disorder and used it against me in a police report I had no idea was written.

The rest of this post would be the original narrative I was going to read for the record to the Merrimack, NH Town Council, who had denied my request to go onto an agenda item because of personnel reasons and that they stand by their woman, the Town Manager and their man, the Chief of Police,

I’m here before the Council with deep regret to report what I believe is misconduct by public officials against their own citizen. This is not how I want to start my first public statements in this community.

In about the next several minutes; I’ll be discussing two events that occurred on April 1st and 2nd, and another series of events April 27th and the 28th. I’ll explain myself for a little bit; walk you through the two events and request a call for action – sadly after 6 months of the fact.  I ask for you to please listen through the whole narrative and reserve reactions, remarks or clarifications after. I need to stress the importance that the story will tell itself and all the details need to be explained without interruption. If you do get “lost”, refer to EXHIBIT A* of the Outline of Events. I will refer to the people by their title and not by name, to ensure compliance of RSA 91a without needing to be in a non public meeting. The story will be told in real time, from those two events.

* 2017 Footnote: I did this because New Hampshire is a very formal and legalese state, I basically danced along to get along.

I moved to Merrimack for a number of reasons; a better quality of life and being closer to areas like Nashua and the Mondonack regions for travel and leisure.  I also am one of the many residents in this jurisdiction who has a developmental disability and who’s also not a child ether. I am one of many who had moved ether in town or elsewhere in the Nashua region to receive services as other area agencies have not serve me as I would like to. I’ve had early signs of an autistic disorder as early as a few months. I was in an early education program when I was around 3 and was non verbal before I turned 5. I was diagnosed formally at 7 and was mentioned to me directly when I was 12. I was placed out of district and went to a program in the Seacoast and a program in Massachusetts which made me evolve from a happy, friendly boy to a scared to death, sometimes bitter old man.

The rest of this story is not all “rosey”, it should hit a nerve. I like many others of my type stayed in the school system till 21. Some areas had great “transition plans” between the SAU and the area agencies and some had not. I was the victim of the latter. I had no true transition plan, and the last three months of school put me into deep nightmare. Factor being on the state’s “wait list” for nearly 16 months, I had continued to struggle transitioning to adult life in the community. As a result of a real life nightmare, it has put my life into a screeching halt that has yet to be fully turned around.

For many years I’ve been a victim of prejudice and inaccurate judgment thanks to the general leadership or the lack thereof on the subject on autism – in this little state of New Hampshire. While I am in a “day program” now and trying to get into a work study program; the day to day living and being out in the community is like having an X on my back. Unlike other “advocates” my stories are often the unfortunate realities of an oppressive special needs system, where adults should not be focused, and all resources should be in the special ed departments at the local school districts. And dealing with many stereotypes that all autistics are lost little boys, or very big and fat socially awkward people. You never hear a lot of positive messaging here in this state.

The State of New Hampshire’s Bureau of Developmental Services has believed for adults with all types of disabilities to live in their own community, instead of being in state schools or institutions; services should be provided in their own community and live with their own people.  Federal laws are also going to move to “community based supports” going into effect in a few years.

However, as the cliche goes, it takes community to build a village. If the community has various views that might have bias against the group of developmental disabilities; then this would break the framework of what the state wants out of their citizens. This framework is far from complete, as the system still has lingers of stereotypes and individuals could be getting better treatment and services, but this is not part of the discussion tonight.

With that introduction, I’d like to discuss the events that has lead me to address this to the Town Council.

APRIL 1st (Citizen reaches out to fellow citizens to NOT LIUB and/or NOT support Autism Speaks)

On April 1st, the day before World Autism Awareness Day (and where most of the state was in Concord to protest against budget cuts for the disabled), I decided as a citizen of his own community, he should wake up the locals to not “Light It Up Blue” . LIUB is essentially to get people to buy blue colored light bulbs at the local Home Depot, as they have been a corporate sponsor of Autism Speaks, which in return is the sponsor of LIUB. I went on Industrial Drive literally on the median/island to ensure I was within town DPW or NHDOT right of way and not near any private properties such as the Merrimack Premium Outlets or Fidelity Investments, as such demonstration probably would’ve required permission by lawyers. So as a result, I obviously used common sense and made sure I was within reasonable grounds to practice my constitutional rights.

I used a DSLR camera (which has the ability to record video) to tape me with my iPad with a video message with mostly brief words and pictures in silence in sync to It’s a Very, Mad, Mad World (mixed in post production.) This was originally was uploaded to a inactive YouTube account that I once used.  The three minute “package” was designed to be professional looking including a “roll cue”, chyron like lower thirds explaining why I was doing this, and about myself in general etc. As a result of most Apple products, direct sunlight or daylight doesn’t mix well, and the fall back was to show hand written signs with spiffy wording and heavy on probationary symbols with blue light bulbs or the single puzzle piece to inform the locals to not LIUB. The shots showed me standing up and holding the signs, mixed with shots of people driving by.

The goal was to get people talking, because chances were people would tune to the news, go onto Facebook and then maybe text someone and say “Hey I saw a guy in town with some message about Autism Speaks or to not Light It Up Blue”.

All this was done at the time what I felt was within my rights as well as trying to contribute to his own community and try to make a mark in life.

LIUB was created and fully marketed by Autism Speaks. Founded 10 years ago by an ex NBC Universal chairman, the organization evolved very quickly from good intentions to severe unintended consequences. They’ve framed the autism disorder as if every single individual is like a “tragic burden” (described by self-advocacy groups), or that all people with autism are lost little boys or they just run away and that your kid won’t have a prosperous future and the autistic kid would be responsible for divorce. It is not to say this could be true, it’s messaging isn’t objective. The war on the autism narrative between AS, the National Autism Association (NAA), the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) would make advocacy groups for juvenile AIDS, diabetes, or cancer groups jealous. The subject of the autism spectrum disorder has a lot of money and power and control up for grabs between these groups. Autism Speaks never has allowed anyone on the autism spectrum (including those who are non verbal) to even speak about their disorder – themselves. They are doing the speaking for them, which really doesn’t allow the disorder to speak for itself.

This type of misinformation caused on a national level is possibly causing an autism crisis here in the Granite State in terms of funding and service delivery for not children, but adults, such as the “first generation” types who are in their mid to late 20s, some even in their 30s

It is very important to know that autism is short for the autism spectrum disorder and is a wide range of abilities or inabilities; some can be verbal, some may not; some will run away, some may not; some may have pre-existing physical impairment or have mental disorders and be dually diagnosed.

One of the signs I also tried to show was for people to go onto YouTube and look for Autism Everyday.  Searching this term online can give you related terms such as “Autism Speaks Murder Suicide” “Autism Everyday Double Murder Suicide”, etc. Why?  When seeing this film; it will give you a chill down your spine. For the time constraints,  I suggest you look up the video online. This organization is basically inhumane, and we have a chief law enforcement officer with a simple retweet and indirectly supported an organization that believes in murder against a human race.

Again, the purpose of this demonstration was to wake people up from believing in the stereotypical propaganda spewed by Autism Speaks.

APRIL 2nd (Run in with the Chief of Police and Twitter interaction)

The following day, on April 2nd, I did a similar demonstration on the intersection at Amherst & Continental and at Greeley & Camp Sargent. Again, I held these signs on the sidewalk which I thought at the time was within the right of way.  Around 12:50 to 12:55, I was at the sidewalk by Burger King and turned my back and my attention was called by a man that looked like the Chief of Police. His tag stated “M. Doyle” and was fully uniformed with firearms, radio, etc. The Chief read a sign out loud passively which at the time I held “Auti$m $peaks Does Not Speak to any Autistics At All!! Don’t Light Your House Blue!”

The concern apparently from the police department’s point of view was my camera as he asked what I was doing with the camera. I asked 2 times if I broke any rules (such as non-compliance of doing the demonstrations or taping drivers or myself in public.) I told him it would be used for private use. ( I would in fact upload the video package on YouTube then later take them down in the fear of legality concerns.)

He asked me if I needed any assistance and to call the department. The exchange was civil, but I was skeptical. When the Chief went back into his car, he got into a gold Ford Five Hundred sedan with a civilian license plate, and not the state mandated Municipal Police plate. I kept one eye on him to show that I was being observant of my surroundings. At the time on April 2nd, that afternoon –  I was under the impression he was off duty, I found out several weeks after on the 28th he wasn’t off duty.

Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 2.07.36 PM ETAbout an hour later, the Town’s Police Twitter account and the Chief’s Twitter account retweeted the LIUB campaign, time stamp shows it was posted around 2:20. The Police Department and Chief basically did against what I suggested my fellow citizens to do.

I felt this was a slap in the face to me and to everyone who lives in Merrimack with a developmental disorder.

As stated in the title, I attempted to interact with the Department on Twitter, by giving them the link of the day before and showing my dissent in a civil way, seen on the left. Little would I know this would be used against me.

After challenging them within civility (since I thought their Twitter or Facebook accounts weren’t used to monitor crime), I was blocked access to their Twitter. I did report the department’s account to Twitter on the subject of “encouraging self harm” per to the Autism Speaks narrative. The Retweet, at last check has not been deleted.

(For the purposes of the Hopeless Autistic, as of November of 2015, the Tweet still is online and has not been deleted by Chief Doyle’s and the account for the Police Department. Ed.)

Prior to late April, I was gathering information if there was a bias against a certain groups of people (considered to some as “ablism” or even “racism”). Part of this included a recollection from someone I knew from about 3 years ago who told me that the Merrimack PD officers that would play in off duty rec games in town and would say “retarded” very loosely – coming from a source that has zero tolerance for use of the “r-word.” After ascertaining other network of sources, I felt there was a case of bias against the developmentally disabled people in town.

APRIL 27th (Electronic Confrontation with the Chief of Police)

My folks still were not aware of what I had done a few weeks before, because as my own guardian, I feel my maternal family does not need to know every little thing in a day of my life. However, they became aware after the following events.

On the evening of April 27th, I pre planned to send an email to the Chief to confront my concerns with the department. I decided to avoid a telephone call, because I was verbally assaulted by another department head in the winter time. People have complemented me on my writing, and I thought writing a through email a serious complaint would be worthy. (Sadly, the timing couldn’t be worse as I found out the events of the Baltimore riots just before 5:00 that evening, and feared I would be framed as a police hater.)

I wrote the following:

Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 2.16.17 PM ET

Within 5 minutes, he immediately replied the request on the last paragraph

Steven
Any reports are available by requesting same through our records division, Monday through Friday, 8A to 4P. Please let me know if you should need anything else.
Chief Mark Doyle

He doesn’t address anything else, including improper use of English on an Outlook app. My signature had my contact information, and yet my phone never rang.

I felt this response showed arrogance, because I feared perception that I was a cyber punk by the Chief.  I felt he wouldn’t want to resolve any problems or conflicts and I replied within the next 10 minutes threatening him that I would take this to the Town Council.

APRIL 28th (Failed “Call for Action” request to the Town Manager)

The following morning, realizing the next line of order is the Town Manager, not the Town Council, I escalated this concern directly to the Town Manager by forwarding the thread with the following statement. (A second paragraph has been redacted.)

Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 2.30.37 PM ET

The Town Manager almost immediately responded back on the redacted paragraph only, and not about the Chief of Police and only replied with a single sentence.  After challenging her to respond about the complaints against the Chief;  by 9:04, a political wildfire occurred electronically.  Within 90 minutes after the initial forward –  the town exploded their side of the bridge.  The Town Manager brought up the off topic subject matter (seen below) yet again, and once more in another reply at around 11am, meanwhile speaking to me like I’m a child or if she was annoyed with me. (Is that unprofessional? 

Dear Mr. Ayotte,

As I stated this morning, I have spoken to [name redacted] and staff with regard to your complaints. I have spoken to the police chief this morning regarding your complaint as well reviewed his report. I find neither of these complaints rise to the level of action on my part.

She ends the email with the following:

Please do not expect any further communication from me on this matter

The Town Manager also carbon copied this thread to your board without my explicit permission, which I find it unprofessional for people to carbon copy others without asking for permission from the sender first. 

At the time, I did not understand what “report” the Town Manager was referring to,  initially thought of a daily briefing with department heads, but as the day went on, I would find out the Chief of Police had actually written me up as a police report even when I asked the Chief on April 2nd to confirm that I wasn’t breaking any rules – two times. As clarified by the Town Manager the following received that evening at 6:55:

There is no report between me and the chief. We spoke on the phone and he told me that he wrote up a report on his interaction with you. Would you like a copy?

I’ve spoken to state Commissioners, department heads and town managers of competing communities and was disturbed how our Town Manager closed this reply with this…

This will be my final email to you on the matter.

The story ends with the police report, according to the report it was filed within 3 hours after the encounter. I have been a law abiding citizen and never thought I’d ever get a report to express my reasonable free speech rights or the basic principal of contributing to the community and be punished with it.

Not only will I say that I never thought I’d get a report, but I will go on the record to say that the report is false I can testify against what was claimed in the report and I’ll quote the narrative part of the report in verbatim as the report contains grammar errors etc.

“On today’s date at approx. 1300 hrs., I observed a subject standing on the sidewalk, holding a sign (that, from the distance I was at, was illegible) while standing next to a camera mounted on a tripod. I noticed this same subject on the other side of Continental Blvd on the sidewalk, adjacent to the Gulf Station, yesterday, holding a sign as well.

I pulled into Burger King, parked and approached the subject, identified as ‘Steven’ who was now standing on the sidewalk on Amherst Rd. I asked him what he was doing and if he needed anything…he explained that he was taking a few selfies (video) of himself holding an ‘Autism Awareness – Light it Up Blue’ hand-written informational sign for motorists. I thanked him and advised that if there’s anything he needs from us to just call

The campaign is directed to ANTI-AUTISM awareness, as shown in this YouTube video:”

He would then would link both the Twitter and YouTube accounts (both defunct.)

The problem was, the sign stated “Auti$m $peaks Does Not Speak to any Autistics At All!! Don’t Light Your House Blue!” the video was clearly not “ANTI-AUTISM awareness” and secondly the term selfies are not used in professional video production.

More disturbing, the report was updated to have the inclusion of the above email on the evening of April 27th as a follow up  including my full name, startup business and telephone number that came from my email “signature” used for business purposes just like everyone else who uses email for professional uses. 

He said the following, quoting the same report

“On 27 April 2015, at aprox 2240 hrs. I received an email from and individual named Steven Ayotte, of Merrimack… the text of that email and my response follows (FYI: only at this time):

The Chief recklessly pasted that earlier email without appropriate redaction or deletion when posting the report and a report with improper use of grammar and cryptic languages.

The Town Manager made a major mistake for making a swift decision about me without me knowing the full story from the Town side, by attempting to shut me up at 9:30 that Tuesday morning.  Do you see how that could be questionable, and why are you continuing to defend the Town Manager by citing your charter as your board “has a vested interest” with her, can you see how there could be a problem?

Is this how Merrimack, NH address “progress” with the developmentally disabled, by targeting the said groups and then taking advantage of their potential inabilities to fight back by writing a false police report and risking his career and reputation by assuming that someone like me is naive? That even if I claim to be autistic that its ok to just take advantage of me? If this is the case, the State’s Department of Health and Human Services’ Bureau of Developmental Services needs to know because “Community Based Supports” can only work if the community is tolerant – most importantly on the municipal police level.

The story ends here and now I am going to ask the Town Council if they can begin an investigation addressing my concerns I have against the town’s Police Department, the following questions are listed below, that can be addressed at a later time.

  • I ask the Town Council to perform an investigation if the Merrimack Police Department currently or historically within the last 5 years of bias against people with developmental disorders including but not limited to the Autism Spectrum Disorder, Down’s Syndrome, Asperger’s Syndrome, Rett’s Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), and other disorders related to developmental disabilities, as outlined in EXHIBIT C
  • Does the department considered promoting women to higher force, as they have generally have more tolerance, sympathy with the less fortunate?
  • Are there members of this force who have been trained specifically to be sensitive to members of the public who have a form of the Autism Spectrum Disorder, if so how and who did the training, and approximately how many in uniform or non uniform, such as support staff or dispatchers?
  •  Are there checks and balances (appropriate ones) to prevent fraud (like what I allege)?
  • Is it normal for a police report to have grammar issues and recklessly pasting emails without citizen knowledge and not redact personally identifiable information such as phone numbers on an email signature?
  • Similar to the Town’s Social Media Policies, does the Town have email policies on how town officials should communicate to constituents. Emails seem to be very deflective or require me to make telephone calls or use very de standardized phrases such as “Expect no further communication from me on this matter”. (this was originally part of an agenda item request for the August Town Council, but was rejected because the “chairman” wanted more information, thinking I would use it as a loophole to discuss this subject tonight.)
  • While board members will nitpick spelling and grammar errors when approving meeting minutes (spending hours annually); give time checks to open and close public hearings (when it’s actually not needed); why are details not a concern for town employees as well?
  • Has there been any complaints about “subjects” on sidewalks, similar to the high school kids doing fundraisers on a Saturday morning, putting their lives at risk? Are there reports?
  • Is the Town of Merrimack’s Social media policies apply to town employees, and if so is the Chief in violation per stated rules outlined in EXHIBIT B?
  • Is the Chief responsible for criminal defamation per to the RSA Title LXIII, Chapter 644:11 I & II as he insulted a constituency of the Merrimack, NH residents by supporting an organization that encouraged murder suicide?
  • Is the Chief responsible for violating RSA 641, and if so could he be charged or misdemeanor as outlined in EXHIBIT D?
  • An FTP IP address is shown on the police report I’ve obtained, but the “class” of that IP address is for private use. Is there multiple network cards or “gateways” that could be tied to other networks such as NCIC, a state issued crime database or the NSA? A single computer can be tied to multi types of internet connections, and how do can the public be certain that false reports are not in the eyes of other black boxes?
  • Is the Town Council serving the interests of the citizens or serving the interests of department heads?

I like to reiterate, that I never threatened any Town Employee’s life or property, other than threatening to bring the Chief’s actions to the Town Council in public, because in a sane department head, if you make such threat, you would want to talk as adults to work out a problem, and not risk loosing your career, or face jail time and loose your badge correct?

My support people at my area agency had checked against all emails and have confirmed I was within my rights both in public on April 1st and 2nd and the emails on April 27th and 28th were within reason. My family is now fully aware of the events and sadly I wished I could appear before you in another capacity.

I ask the Town Council to address this issue throughly but in a progressive manner and  update the public of any decisions. I want to prevent another incident if someone else like me wants to do something like I did. I feel like the Town of Merrimack, New Hampshire believes its not appropriate to question government officials of this municipality and will do whatever they want to throttle one’s reasonable rights by picking and choosing various classes of people and equipment they are using on right of ways.  As mentioned earlier I believe there is racism and/or discrimination on the Town’s part, and in the Police Department. The actions are something you’d expect in 1995  not in 2015.

Thank you,

 

Pioneering Social Media with DevDisabilities

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Being a Millenial myself (even though I’m a lot different than most of my peers in the same generation), I’ve grown up on mostly graphical (or as I say visual) user interfaces, the Web, Instant Messaging and Social networking or social media.

With my delays in life, I didn’t socialize that much online till my teenage years. I’ve also never went on list-serves because it would advertise my identity. My mother overprotected me and was afraid people would take advantage of me. The teachers were too old to use AIM by a few years. The only social media they knew was Match. Other lessons were basically biased as if the individual was already convicted for being a creep. Positivity with social media or social networking is hard to come by. Not only that but card-carrying women who say computers are boy things, and whining about how complicated they are and not understanding the platform or application doesn’t help matters ether,

Otherwise:

I knew about “relationship statuses” way before it became into the lexicon.

I knew about “MySpace friends” before Facebook Myspaced them and then had “Facebook friends”

I knew the “friends” I’d talk to were never going to be real life friends as early as 2007 and 08.

I knew it.

Over the years, I’ve embraced social media instead. Assuming you don’t use it to be-friend people. If you know risks (and about 95% my cases I know my risks) you should be fine. Pay attention to URLs against “screen names” and like how I got my Avaya PBX, I did a two-step challenge, (“enlighten me” and paid through PayPal until I received it) and just don’t offend people.

I’ve used Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, several other blogs on the autism subject (no longer online) and a few online boards.

What I’ve learned with social media is

  • It is the modern day CB/HAM equivalent
  • You can have some relationship but know it may not be real friends
  • That you can aggregate or send out information in a timely manner
  •  If people really value your work, they’ll contribute by sending replies or emails.
  • And emails in itself can be close, but not too close.
  • It enables transparency, and it enables people to be more open and sharing. The people who think Facebook or Twitter should be a secret diary are ones who are paranoid or corrupt

Basically you would need to know social boundaries, not go too far in conversations. This took many years for me to understand, and severed ties with real world people and the social media/stranger type people too.

The cool things you can do on social media

  • Reach out to C-listed celebs like Max Robbins, the former TV guy on The Howie Carr Show, news talent like Phil Lipof from WCVB (and WABC-TV in NY) who totally embraces his fans and social media. I still get a kick how local TV media will embrace feedback (even if its “inside baseball” type of Tweets)
  • Complain about a company, brand, service, etc and get somewhat of an immediate response (but don’t bitch for the sake of bitching is my rule of thumb)
  • Make movements and be an agent of change
  • If you are news or media junkie, Twitter (or Facebook) is like the poor mans’ wire service.

I do know that I may not have many friends, I’m aware of it and I know I’m a difficult person. I’ve settled with that. But there is so much negativity about it, that some times people need to find the positives in the world of cyber media.

*

Who Inspires me and What Makes me Happy?

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No person I am inspired or is aspired to and nothing makes me happy.

Why?

Because autistics traditonally are not supposed to be happy or be inspired. We are supposed to live by a specification sheet, or in simple terms be judged and perform to what the DSM defines my group. We aren’t people, we are cans having a damned label slapped on us, whether its literal or not. It’s the stigma that enables that literal label slapped on people like me.

I made a really stupid and naive decision to follow the “normal” people in Londonderry, some people I knew on and off since elementary school. The price? Didn’t get funding for nearly 16 months after my 21st birthday and was put on that infamous “Wait List”

I’m going to give Londonderry in general a bad name (despite knowing a lot of people in power in that said community) – they are a “world class town.” It’s a stepping stone community. The rural town of farmers were forced out by the rich Caucasian people, whom always look down at the rank and file class, if that can’t be sinful enough. The stupid Marching Lancers go all over the world and look down at anything in their own community (such as a ribbon cutting of the Airport Access road, one of the competing communities did the marching ceremonies a few years back.) The mostly rich Caucasian parents, mostly Baby Boomers, didn’t keep a close leash on these kids. Any dream, they were entitled to chase after. Any! No joke! And a vast majority of Londonderry High School graduates in the entire decade of the 2000s (I’ll go out of a limb and say 96% out of the thousands)  are not living anywhere within the borders of the 603 area code. These goddamned hipsters think they are too cool for this little state, and I guess I saw something of these rich caucasian brats, but couldn’t verbalize beyond just “snotty people” about a decade ago.

In their defense, many of these kids were bright, some were very skilled in STEM even before there was an acronym. Some of the kids were artsy, some were techie. And I thought well since I was techie, and artsy and wrote well, why can I compete? Well, I always sucked in sports till I was about 18 (if that wasn’t a clear sign of a “pervasive developmental disorder”, then I don’t know what is…)

I never discounted myself. I did feel uncomfortable when people would be so surprised to see how “smart” I was. To this day, I still don’t know what the barometer, if people really expected anyone with an autistic disorder to be completely idiotic or obscenely intelligent. By no means was I “faking it” ether, I was just trying desperately to fit in. Now I’m almost hitting 30, I’ve given up the idea of fitting in.

* * *

Back on “inspiration”. There were few groups of people that I thought it was worth learning from and to aspire their idea of dreams. This included normal people and even people with severe disabilities. I learned one day at the campus of my out of district program was learning something of AP classes and this individual was in a wheel chair. Then I had that friend with alleged case of Asperger’s then my normal “Ltown” friends.

It wasn’t till I was about 20 where I ether had to play dumb, or literally limit my dreams to the “spec sheet” known as my official diagnosis in the DSM IV (since this was 2007 afterall.) Being too optimistic was another bad choice. Looking normal at the largest “area agency” in the state was apparently politically incorrect or I insulted the mission of the organization. (This is the same place I wrote earlier that had fancy office furniture and cloud based computer systems (before there was a “cloud” and a Meridian 1 PBX, with an employee count of 300 people, of only a few would be end users – all with some publicly funded way, would imagine…)

On the interest front, I never am confident of saying what I like. Often because I like what everyone else doesn’t like, and the other’s likes are not the same as mine. If you want to put this into flippin’ perspective, I don’t gel well with my own demented peer groups! So don’t go there with the stereotyping “Steven, go check out a peer group!”

The interests I like do not logically match up to other people like me or even normal people. It makes me look very dare I say odd?

But the other biggest error that I think haunts me to some way, was reaching out to one of the most tight to the right conservatives begging to fund the Medicaid waivers (i.e. the day services) for the wait list. I was overly optimistic. I looked back at it and said How can I be so positive and ask for funding? The liberal psychologist I’ve referred to also would become one of the most negative influences. That was why I fired her and will try to revoke her license myself in the future. I’ve shredded that letter and still retain a Word copy on a file server due to very strict compliance rules, since someone in society needs to keep everything….

I’m not the brightest person in the room. I do come off stupid, and ignorant at times. I am not smart enough to be in college, and if that I could do a 4 year in 8 years. I couldn’t handle the “tolerance” of the local colleges, because they’ll tolerate an illegal alien over an illegal-hypehenated-alien (i.e. I think I was conceived by aliens from outer space type of alien.)

In other cases, I am too smart as well. I know too much of everything and that doesn’t look well in the optics front. I must retain a perfect image 99.999% of the time, because oh my gawd, if I make a mistake, I’lll always be remembered for the error, not the strengths.

When I transferred to another area agency upon moving out of HelLtown at the end of 2009, I’ve tried to move forward. But the scars from the first years of adult life have continued to haunt me.

I do blame a lot of this on a broken support system that didn’t favor the individual, and people having their own political agendas of where I wanted to go. I never ever, heard “be yourself” or “normal is overrated”, I had to “conform” and probably “assimilate” to the normal peer group. I bet 50 years ago, they would literally put a gun to my head. Where did all this hard work go indoctrinated by “Doctor” Teresa Bolick, SAU 12 and GLEC alI go? Nowhere.

Do I want to be writing this kind of stuff on a personal site focusing on my somewhat aspiring profession? No. Because allegedly “my heart” (supposedly  that is a synonym for a “gut instinct”) says it wants “to do the right thing” but the brain is telling me something else. And the brain is telling me to stay on the safe side of living in my house for 18 hours a day, and avoid doing anything “big” since “dreams” really don’t exist.  It’s all illogical in world that was indoctrinated to me there is a right and wrong; black and white with no gray matter. I was programmed to be a person like a spec sheet. I was not supposed to be a human at all. I’m a robot. I’m whatever the DSM says, if I am mentally retarded then so be it.

* * *

(On a side note, I’ve tried to seek additional help, basically a very, very informal “re evaluation” to see how broken I am. I’ve tried to see a genetic doctor, and is denied by my stupid healthcare plan; I’ve tried to meet with some doctors for a psychological evaluation, but that was a backoffice nightmare – they have more people in the back office than doctors themselves there! Then there was another doctor up on the other side of I89 that was recommended by the genetics doctor. I haven’t stepped forward till I got enough information if that doctor is crooked like the aforementioned one off Exit 6 in Nashua. )

When all of this is said and done, I think the conformation that my future has been shattered will come true. And as an autistic to say his life is a tragic burden, cannot be understated enough!

On Autism Speaks

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What I am posting I hope doesn’t become a heated topic.

I’d love for people to “listen” to any autistic, high functioning, low function moderate functioning etc. Leave your politics at the door and see how I stand for autism without any help of any “advocacy” organizations.

I do not believe in Autism Speaks, but I also believe there are other views out there and those people should have a right. I am talking about individuals, I am talking about teachers, I am talking about support professionals and families as well. And I am not scoping this to just one side of the autism spectrum or the other side. The problem is its very political and there is money, power and political capital that is in stake. This would make AIDS and Cancer advocacy groups jealous! 

My view on Autism Speaks is that they do not speak for all or any autistics at all. I am not saying the obviously high functioning groups that called them out on that, I’m also talking about people who I know who aren’t as verbal and not as bright as the higher functioning.  They are pouring money to find a “cure” and I do not think autism will be cured. They’ve said that with cancer.

Autism is short for the Autism Spectrum Disorder, which is a wide varieties of inability and abilities, just like every other developmental disorder.  ASD can be dually diagnosed in medical conditions like Cerebral Palsy and psychological disorders like depression, bipolar, etc. Whether it’s right or not, that’s not today’s discussion.

Autism Speaks markets the disorder as a tragic burdon of families impacted with autism, according to the advocacy groups. This is half true; the stressors of families trying to seek help desperately and often causes things like divorce to occur. Autism Speaks was founded by the former NBC Universal president, Bob Wright (who also Jack Welch’s right hand man for the TV division of General Electric and was the co-founder of CNBC and MSNBC) who started up this organization likely as a good intention as one of his grandsons was diagnosed with the disorder.

Since the startup, the organization had major support by Wright’s former employer, the other major networks, the Federal government and most recently the Catholic Church and the big Silicon Valley companies. To me its celebrating a “cause” they themselves have no idea what the disorder is nor would they want to live with them. (just my assumption)

Autism Speaks also had fingerprints on a documentary produced by some prominent big market journalists, who let the clip of a whiney mother with a smirk saying  that she would drive off a bridge – the George Washington Bridge with her autistic daughter running around in the background. Um, how can you a) drive off such bridge without driving a big rig truck and b) say this in front of your kid you think she’s stupid? (See below from a recent visit to the City at the Top of the Rock)

DSC_0145

These stereotypes do not help the matters if someone like me wants to be in the community and have a reasonable level of tolerance or acceptance (such as having a “real job” in the real world without being threatened that I’m going to do the “wrong thing”.)  The power of Autism Speaks and their inappropriate messaging could be messing the minds of paraprofessionals, teachers, adult service professionals, caretakers and ignorant leaders on special needs.  Sadly no one wants to say that, its easier to say “tragic burdons” and to demonize autism.

The reason why I avoid any advocacy groups, and remain independent as just “an individual with autism” or “an autistic”  is that autism advocacy groups are no different than the liberal special interest groups. Some of their politics often are mixed into their autism views. I really do not care about gay marriage or “income equality” or other liberal view points. If you are going to talk about autism, to steal a phrase from my speech therapist “Stick to the Topic.” Another problem is they think they shouldn’t be cured at all – even if they have clear problems with social skills. They think they are above everyone else and in fact their “special interest” can come back to bite the cause as a whole. (I am referring to “twitter bombs” and the “Boycott Autism Speaks” movements and jamming up the social media pages forcing account owners to stop following Autism Speaks. These types of actions in the packet-world is no different than causing arson in Baltimore or Ferguson)

I’ve never had a brother like (not even a true “best friend” figure in my life, so I am so used to people with differing views so when there is an agreement, it throws me off guard. I wished this was the case for all the “autistics” that speak for their group. While I may be stereotyping, the ones who weren’t born with it and got diagnosed when they were 6 after noticing signs of abnormal social behavior very likely have no idea what people like me gone through. I was non verbal till I was almost 5, and I was 50x slower against my normal group of peers. (I refuse to use the word nerotypical or NT, since this site is IT focused, and I use that to describe Microsoft’s enterprise offerings. In fact its a registered trademark of the late Nortel)

With that being said, I’ve always meshed well with lower functioning people. They are nice groups of people. How can I know via the packetwaves that the Aspergers types have any understanding of people well below their IQ, social background and pay grades?

These groups glorify autism instead of having someone who can talk say that he lived a tragic life on the autism spectrum disorder. This actually is against their “group think” mentality, you must be positive, if not – then screw you!

The said groups also believe in self advocacy. No one else should talk about autism other than the ones who have it. Humm, hows that not racism or discrimination? I am offended that Autism Speaks doesn’t have anyone knowingly on the spectrum on their board, but having a bunch of happy spoiled rotten brats with Aspergers running a special interest group is offensive to the teachers, paraprofessionals, and or other leaders.

Two wrongs don’t make it a right.

If I am the only one that will speak about autism in an objective, fair, honest and non glamorous way – then so be it!