Prior to 2013, as the Worst Year Since Birth was only getting worse, I decided to do a “Countdown” that was originally featured on the original carnation of this blog. Inspired by another blog, I thought maybe the only path going forward was to avoid any romantic relationship. This came to be by last September, and was not the original plan for the blog. If you haven’t gotten it yet, the plan was by January 1, 2013 I would give up any types of expansion of my social life, social circles and any other social relationships I would’ve pursue.
After the New Year, I decided to just focus on writing some events from the past but really analyze relationships from an alleged third person view as some with autism comes off as a third person. I don’t know if there are others who feel the same way or that I can’t just be another outsider looking in or what.
As I keep trying to make something work, I’ve also realize that when someone “tries” they suck it it because they “try too hard” i.e. being desperate. Every year, I’ve hoped maybe I could hold hands or something like that with someone else. Key word was “hoped” i.e. wishing too hard. In order to have friends of your own age you must have someone special in your life, since many friends are couples. If you are single, it would highly be improper to be friends with couples.
So I have given up, and will continue to just raise my hands out of surrender that there is no one out there for me, that no one would ever want to live with me forever and that no one shares the same interests. (Hello Facebook! Something where I can confirm things – like – this!) And – I will plan to never, ever, over my dead body – ever go to any support group of mostly raging testosterone punks! I don’t like the idea of basically killing my own life to go into a group of alleged “like minded” people. How many hot autistic ladies are there? (I meant proverbially of course!) Why should I be around 6’0 guys who aren’t only tall but big because of their anti depressants they take? And how can they know people in their circles that they might know a girl that’s best for me? I have to presume little to none!
As time has gone on, I will make this more of a subject manner on how I have chosen to stay single and how I have applied it to my life.
