If you are an early adopter to this blog back in August of last year, I’ve mentioned about the thought of “unhealthy relationships.”
I was in a special ed high school in Massachusetts, and the health lessons I learned, were not about physical – it was the psychological side of relationships. Some people believe psychological is junk science, and I tend to agree. I find psychology (often I say psych-o-logy) more like software for the human brain, but unlike technology, the real beauty is really hardware (physical.)
Psychology is not logical, and the only issues with that regard is “in the head”. Most often psychologists or people studying psychology never get taught any sorts of physical, or studying something about the human body.
As you will find out over time, I’ll be discussing all about the “virtual” side about relationships, since that was mostly taught outside of the home.
So today let’s talk about what is called “Unhealthy Relationships”
It basically means (according to the “experts”) there are issues with two people, in this example I’ll use a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Issues such as depression, lack of common interests, “esteem” issues or what.
Crushes can allegedly fit into this category.
I don’t remember the full details, as we were reading off a textbook and at that time I couldn’t understand or grasp such an abstract thought process. The textbook (which probably was PC, never mentioned about abuse, like physical, verbal or anything severe.) Also my hack teacher used film (i.e. the single season of Freaks & Geeks) as a dialogue to decipher the unhealthy relationships with the characters on that television program.
I’ve done additional research prior to writing this post, and I was under taught about that subject, and I’ve learned that “Unhealthy Relationships” is a serious manner, of such it can get pretty nasty, like sexual abuse, verbal abuse or even controlling one of another. In the latter link, they describe communication is a key to a healthy relationship.
I’m quite surprised that I got the childlike answer and not the dark description.
To this day I still try to remember what junk science I learned and never could apply other than I still can’t get how I was conflicted with trying to understand relationships with a teacher that never second-guessed her approach of teaching, like her taking away my rights to have love or romantic relationships other than I didn’t have a label other than Asperger Syndrome.
Supposedly the “experts” have believed people with PDD-NOS or a borderline functioning disorder had no hopes for a brighter future. They never thought, that their beliefs would backfire with the power of the World Wide Web and a blogger spending most of his time proving these educated academia types wrong with limited success.
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Tag Archives: crushes
The Ideal Girl
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This will be a reoccurring feature from time to time to show you publicly my definition of The Ideal Girl
These pictures were handdrawn, or sketched and enhanced through Photoshop, the latter is a new skill. You’ll see this work throughout this post. Also, the girl is the same, but again, various conditions caused this girl to not look consistent.
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A Fictional Story on Admission of Romance
A story that is 100% fiction, and is slightly based loosely on my experiences with romance.
A guy has a crush on a cute girl. She’s about 5′ 3″, (taller with various heeled shoes) slender, long dark brown hair, brown eyes, with a nice personality. In the real world, its hard to come by. She works as a store clerk for a random retail firm.
The guy went to this store and saw this girl for the first time. The girl says “hi” and for someone like this guy he got fluttered and was taken off guard. As he was looking around of things he’d love to have, but can’t spend too much or he doesn’t have space for them (he is underemployed, and has to live in a certain amount to get disability benefits.) The guy’s heart started to get warm, and his hormones would start to fire up.
He leaves the shop, hoping he would see her again.
He comes back a week later, and starts to flirt with her again. (Turns out when he isn’t there, this girl flirts with other people.) Repeat that a few other times.
Well he came back one time, got a few things, and depending on the social protocol; he starts to say things like “I like you.” He can’t go beyond those three words. Another time he comes back, he sees her, and says something even more stronger. He blurts out inadvertently “I love you.” She didn’t like that statement, and started to feel threatened. It was then, that he blew it, and that place was cursed forever, he decided to not go there anymore. This experience confirmed to his beliefs that love is too good to be true – if its too good to be true, then it must be.
He goes home to his room on the attic level of his mother’s house (lives in a “cape” type house.) and just cries to sleep because he can’t do anything right. He feels like he doesn’t feel like he has the entitlement of a romantic relationship, and in every previous experience was just a gawddang infatuation.
The End.
Thank God for Facebook
I really mean that in the title.
I can’t imagine what life was like if you suffered with social retardation and a world before social networking websites, or even the Web, or even those “online services” before those became ISPs ala AOL anyone?
I remember the simpler days in 1992 me being 5 years old living in my own little world. In 1992, Cable TV was at the height of their success, computers were still not in many homes, and the telephone was the primary medium to connect to people in long distances, and since AT&T was forced to break up, it was much easier to make long distance calls.
Again, I can’t imagine being socially retarded and being in his early twenties then. I would think there was more hopes back in 1992 than 2012 because there wasn’t sites like Facebook where you could easily look someone up to find many of the girls/guys one would like then to find your heart broken.
This post was something in the making, it was only a matter of time, and a person of interest to use as an example. This post will describe how using sites like Facebook to find some random person you had the hots for turns out to not be single. I’ve used this as a resource on a number of occasions.
In an earlier story back about a couple weeks ago, I went to a local FedEx/Kinkos/Whatever the name is of the day, and liked the gal that was helping me to do a large document project, that I felt was better done if I outsourced the project to them.
Well as you see in the full screen below, you’ll see the red circle of what I found out. This is an example of how Social Networking destroys one’s hopes that there is a special someone out there. And of course, shes about 5 years older than I am (from when she finished high school – I redacted all the identifiable info) and it just shows that there are less and less single people near my age bracket. (unless I go younger, which I do not support such thing.)
Social media just ruins the experience of a “crush” the only ability of a romantic feeling I have.
The stupid crushes that just goes vapor.
The other night, I went to the local Kinkos* Fedex Office store. I wanted to professionally print a document that is many pages, “statement” size and double sided to a specific format.
(“Statement” paper is a US “letter” sized paper cut in half in landscape side.)
There was a cute girl there. Again I like dealing with ladies with customer service. I have to admit that women do actually have the understanding and the attentive to detail where males don’t do pretty well in that regard. The girl seemed to work there for over half a decade according to her pin.
Not only that, but when she asked for my contact information to put into their relational database, I gave her my card – but she gave it back to me. It’s understandable, since that was the first time I had met her, and stuff.
She probably has a Facebook somewhere on the Internet and she might be “In a Relationship” or is “Married with […]”.
I never seem to have patience anymore. I am sick and tired of the “wait” and then things happen. That logic is now invalid. I’m 25, I was already delayed developmentally, and the last 4.5 years just makes me go back to a teenager, and no “women” wants to fuck around (fig.) with guy like me. Add my autism to the mix too, hate to say it but its true!
Add this lady to the endless counter of plain ol’ crushes.
I hope I don’t come off as crazy – because these stories are real even if they come off as potentially pretend.
*I have the habit of calling it Kinkos, I directed my mother there, and she didn’t see a “Kinko’s” which then I had to explain that they junked the name.
The Financial Impact of Being a Hopeless Romantic
I haven’t been keeping tabs on my spending. I do save all my receipts and normally at the end of the month I tabulate all of them. I am trying to implement an ERP (Enterprise Resource Planner) to link all my spending to line item, to the places I go to and do other cool statistical information of my finances.
I was in a day program up until this summer for the last couple of years. In many of those cases, I went to places to try to hit on a girl. I never explicitly said that because I feared I would come off as doing sexist practices. I poured maybe about $60 a quarter (per place) in the places I went to try to impress a girl. This ranged from going to the local used book store, to the local pizza joint, to the local Dunkin Donuts to anywhere to get a girl to like me.
What could even be worse is I have tried a new style going to those fancy preppy stores like Aeropostale, American Eagle or Abercrombie/Hollister, and to spend pretty pennies to only be mute when I try to hit on a girl. My definition of “hitting” or “flirting” maybe different from your definition. That I need to look up the impact
I know its really shallow of me to even mention that I had done these things for the sole sake of trying to impress a girl.
Like I said before, I am closing this unknown chapter of my life by the end of the year. No Discussion. I am doing it whether if people like it or not. My future for any relationships is OVAH!
Jennifer Capriati!
I am not the most avid tennis sport fan. I typically watch a little of it with the Wimbledon and then the Labor Day week of the U.S. Open.
So I was watching the ladies finals back a couple weeks ago, and I quickly caught my eye on a shot of Jennifer Capriati who was at the the Open (among other celeberities they kept peeking in from time to time) really popular back in the 90s and most of the last decade. When I saw the face and her name on the chyron bottom of the screen – I was like ooohhhmmmmiiiigaaawwdd! I haven’t seen this chickie in a long time! I had a big crush on her back when I was a teenager, and at that time she was just cute and hot (however you want to look at it.) So I went and used a search engine and I couldn’t believe how she’s still a hottie to this day!
Apparently she is still somewhat of an active pro tennis player, she started pro at the age of 13 back in like 1989, and competed in a few Olympics matches, and many US Open matches (which was when I got the crush on her.) Then, she got her self into a mess into some drug and substance abuse, most recently another case in 2010. And she must’ve turned her life around, because she’s back at it again. I’ve noticed in recent images she’s got a cross necklace on her, maybe she got a little spiritual perhaps? Regardless of her troubles she is a well good athlete and I like her quote she has on her Twitter account:
mean what [yo]u say,say what [yo]u mean but dont say it meanly.
The struggles of being me. (EDIT V2)
I’ve had a long 25 years of baggage to wake up every morning and crawl out of my bed and trying to find the “next step” of my life that I have used for exactly 4 years now.
I’ve had more and more let-downs than comebacks. And that has nothing to do with my thinking, its the leadership of the ASD community, the leadership of adult services and the leadership of our political system that hasn’t help the manners. There has been quite a drama, and frustrations in Concord, and the political mess isn’t far from over. Its also not far from over with the the negative influence that people give to the individuals. The years leading to my last day of school on my 21st birthday, was really about the only thing going forward in my life was to work.
And lots of the skills were a decade behind the present standards, ranging from work ethics and how to find a job. I had my teacher saying in like 2007 that she was going to get the local Sunday newspaper because the Sunday editions have more classifieds. Around that time they were extinct in their existing form. Never mind the teachers of my school program were hesitant of teaching the students how to use Monster.com, Craiglist. Facebook was still in infancy to “everyone else” outside of the dot-edu addresses, and LinkedIn wasn’t even popular in the corporate world.
Oh and what drives me nuts, was even before the huge Facebook/MySpace/LinkedIn era, was the teachings of harassment, and the fear that was brought to us about the skeptical society. I wanted to give out business cards to pretty girls but after I was told that “after 9/11, people gotten creeped out” or it would be a “crapshoot in case” she was in a relationship or married.
What if I was doing a double prong approach to not only try to hook up, but you know, the networking word? The old fashioned way of giving cards out to people? Well since i am a “loner” type, I am often in the community by myself (thanks to my friends abandoning me) and you know i have that look that looks like I am the mute and dumb stereotype, I cannot do that. Then, thanks to elitists like Stephen Shore or Tony Atwood or Teresa Bolick, and other Asperger knowitalls of the world they, and including the school teachers also indoctrinate us about various “social” standards, “social status” and anything that has to do with “social.” At this point, it should be a vulgar word.
I can’t even be a salesman. My eBay record has really sucked. My resales of failed tech equipment, often had to be relisted on average of 3 times and a lack of interest. Its really crazy how a generation old technology can go down in price and be a lack of interest in only 9 months to a year! (Some of my Ci$co products were about 6 to 10 years old on the hardware side.) And I am not even sure if my Etsy account will do anything good.
I have been let down so much by various “adults” in my life, and what the hell am I supposed to do? I feel like I’m here without or I don’t have a reason to be here.
It’s a REAL SHAME to be suffering with what’s now becoming a “woman-made” disorder or disease, however you look at it.
You know when you are in love…
when its not “meant to be”.
My hopes for ANY romantic relationships have been severely downgraded to likely to hopefully to hopeful to desperate to severely desperate to to hopeless. It doesn’t help when they all fall into the same damn theme known as crushes or infatuations. It doesn’t help when they are girls that are taken and it also doesn’t help that twentysomething bitches still act like they began puberty a decade before.
It also doesn’t help when ones mother “can feel” for one, when she has the power to act like a leader and try to date for a change. Oh wait, she don’t like change ether.
If you wonder why I have such low self of esteem or standards, it goes back to the grownups in my previous life not acting like real grownups. There has been NO strong leadership in my life in the recent years which makes things not so promising.