“You can’t teach empathy through forced-sympathy”
QOTD by yours truly
The last three weeks, now on Week Three as of Friday knowing my mother got laid, was the worse thing to imagine, because I was off the last week of January with the hopes my mother would go back to work on site at least Tuesday or Wednesday or Wednesday and Thursday of that following week.
It was a week ago yesterday that I sent a note to that Front Desk girl who wasn’t at the hotel on the coast. I didn’t share the draft to anyone else. I knew that any word I could say would be triggering. As it seems to be here in this locale, the adult population “have to make it” because no one else has made the best way to ask women out. Wait a couple decades and waste one’s lifespan to prove there’s been a problem. So yeah I have to be on my own and figure out what’s socially appropriate or not. I drew a faint heart in the background with a vague coloring of “R U My Valentine?” and wrote another note on the bottom of the front/back. I don’t want to share much more.
ICYMI from earlier in the week, when I explained about this journey when I asked the girl at the stationary shop for something “subtle” and I really meant what I said about “something is telling me to do this”. I can’t even name another instances where I really meant what I had said.
The post it notes on the envelope was written to beg to the covering staff to ensure this would go to her because of the importance of a guest/front desk relationship. Anything inside it is not their concern and by no means was I backdooring in the most nefarious ways… I guess it could be seen that way.
I was trying to be truly authentic. I don’t know her situation, it could really be something serious is going on… or she’s taken… or company policy would disallow this because this the 21st Century and love and romance must be damned, and anyone’s heart that gets taken is pure luck.
I am not too worried about ID theft by giving out my phone number, it’s mostly a “work” number anyways. I did what I could with the situation I was in, and the underlying conditions. I do not regret what I did in the name of going deeper into human interconnectivity.
#
On the fifth week of the New Year, I was scheduled to have a week off to recharge and try to replenish my remains of energy of being the second sole burden to the family. The sane one, the one who thinks and talks constructively and the one that asks good questions, not that I am tooting my horn. This story is a long one because it started rough on Monday for my mother, but ended harder for me when Friday came along.
The issues of other family members are are still strong hot spots in this firestorm of a situation for both just over a year in…and I am depleted
I went to Dover for the first time (the second time I went there was on the outskirts of the city when I was at SLC and we went to the Chilli’s on the south end. It was to see my therapist for a session in person for the first time in over a couple years. On our way, a magnitude 3.8 (originally reading as 4.2) off the coast of York, Maine (20 miles to the state line, and about the same distance to Portsmouth of which where I was going to stay for the week.
I heard it on The Sports Hub, and it’s unusual for a sports format radio station to do news, since the FCC since they don’t force every local station to cover news these days. My mother and I went to brunch after, then started to take the long way to the Port City.
This sticky subject is really one controversial one. I wonder if there is a theory of mind that people are not open to talking about…
The “self advocacy” world needs some training on PR… you know public relations.
Late in October, there was inklings that the Family Support Conference was going to be the next block where I was staying on the first weekend in November.
To my mother to whom I’ve come to my senses, lost her to an addiction to “validation” and how powerful this emotional controlled substance can do to someone.
I really hate white collared hacks in this state. They care more about their aspirations than anyone else. Why can I say this state is narcissistic? I’d be bullshitting you!
[…] when the Merrimack Police Department came to my house on that September day, was a middle finger through proxy. It’s not the officer’s fault. It was someone who felt his career was on the line, when this plea had nothing to do with school, or his previous line of work, but he was so obsessed about his 10 year plans. […]
As I mentioned before, the horrible person who intentionally scared Granite Staters (as well as Massholes, and the rest of North America) passed away on New Year’s 2017.
I still have no respect for the woman who hated autistic boys as I suspected not only a few years before became a board cert ABA, but i wondered if she was an anti-vaxxer too. Her upper end of clients also included the Middlesex County elite who having an autistic child would’ve broken their ego. Throw in ABA treatment and the parent’s ego won’t be as fractured. On the lower end, well I was reminded I was not- enough, and the only way to fit in was to take prescription meds for fake issues, because the typical peers did illegal drugs. I had to “mask” my social economic “status”, one of the many disregards, gaslighting that Bolick was notorious of doing.
lBut what wasn’t surprising is how much her legacy has seeped into a few thousand people, there’s more feminist ABA professionals, more boy hating teachers, and thankfully less people who don’t weaponize suicide the way Bolick did, because it was people like her who said “autism and depression are separate” . Knowing later on that they do strangely go hand in hand, and because she was taught in the 1970s, she preached it well into the new millennia, but did she ever re-take a study to learn new facts? Of course not.
I am a recovering victim of her narcissistic tendencies of a professional that refused to grow and a subject worth learning wasn’t respected (that is me.) because abuse from people allegedly with NPD is so low, because no one will admit now – or at least in the near future, the level of suffering with imposter syndrome and nuanced based social skills is far from developed. As people say “you have to make it” for the adult population.
I never want to express so much hate, but I knew after my 30th birthday (my family waited as the news broke around February school vacation, that corrupt professional liked to keep her personal life so air tight… the irony!) that my group would still be haunted by Teresa Bolick from 6 million feet down under from hell as her afterlife did get exposed to thousands of other women who lust for power and control using autistic boys as to emasculate (and maybe giving some of these younger boys into trans, even though I don’t believe that’s a causation.)
This blog isn’t about everything on autism, but a subject on antiquated practices from a legacy, pre DSM-V autistic looking in. The systems were intentionally broken with no intention for it to ever be repaired.
Let that sink is as I am closer to 40 with a life experience of a 21 year iold
Happy New Year, and a somber one for those in the Big Easy.
With those developments in the last couple of days, 2025 is starting off a bit rocky and it’s a bit concerning. There is some late breaking developments after the Eat The Press rant. The man who died from the explosion of the Cybertruck near the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas was from an apparent suicide. It’s believed that the man was so desperate he went as far from Denver to harm himself over what had occurred in New Orleans that was an apparent terrorist attack.
Almost a year ago on the day after Christmas, I was reflecting on what would be happening a year from then.
I was right, I didn’t know how bad it was going to be, between the Bedford Bimbo being platformed to MAHA, to just the unknowns now we know for sure anti vaxxers, anti disability, anti science, anti-atypical people are now dominating policy.
I was just four years off on being permanently “hopeless”.
If you don’t hear from me, Merry Christmas for those who celebrate.