From The Broken Desk of Steven…

I have written a bunch of works for several blogs and platforms over the last decade. As time has gone on, I have realized that there was several underlying things that collided, and are colliding, and is the reason of where I am today, at a point where I feel I being oppressed.

This should not come at a surprise to anyone. My written blog posts as well as recent forays into podcasts and livestreams have basically wrapped 3 different types of challenges that was documented and sadly will likely get worse before it gets better. The reason why I have (and still do) is just a verification of the Hey-I-Told-You-So… not that I want to be (always) right either.

The reason why I am not in an active relationship, the ability to have a meaningful work environment or hell the ability to have a casual social network, is either being blocked or being destroyed or worse I was engineered to fail!

The Hopeless Autistic was created in late 2015 where I had seen the cracks of the system related to developmental disabilities. The original working title was 2020 :The Year of the Hopeless Autistic meaning that someone who was verbal but was in between Asperger’s Syndrome and traditional ASD stereotypes would fall through the cracks within five years. To this day, I am like holy fucking shit, is the New Hampshire developmentally disabled system so beyond repair. Unfortunately it’s happening and I randomly guessed a year (year 2020) and of course I like to be proven wrong.

Londonderry NH Exposed:  I entered into public school for early intervention when Laconia closed. This same audit linked here, had very specific advice and analysis on the rise of special education and the approach they should do. Without going into specifics, this was basically a joke in retrospect, after the Coronavirus pandemic, of lockdowns, I feared yet again I would never see these “friends” ever again. The feeling is mutual, because this generation (which is now the majority of this country’s demographic) doesn’t get anything about autism. At All. And fucking Londonderry, NH had the financial doing to help these people, to only just write someone like me off.

The Chronicles of a Corrupted Childhood, is another podcast focusing on family inexpierences and the issues of current parenting, of overprotective parenting, and the focus on parents even if the hierarchal child is at a mature stage in life.

These three works are now very prelevant in my life in late 2021, “the system” is causing me to feel hopeless, and it’s wild at times. I do not have much friends or family for respite from “the system”; which leads into Londonderry NH Exposed, of how my typical peers only knew and knows one autistic individual, and are expecting me to just go how they treated and written me off. Of even just 20 “close” “friends”, not one was willing to meet up before the pandemic. Your social network is just on Facebook for people to gawk and stalk you, and use your social content to be as liberal as drinking beer or wine.

I have a family, virtually an entire paternal family that has an apparent rigid world view, which is just American-nationalism, “Christian” values, that Jesus himself would laugh at, mixed with other toxic personalities, that leaves me to be the open target. One of my concerns if my paternal grandmother passes (of which I hope to God it doesn’t happen anytime soon), would I get kicked out of “the system” (say it improves over time) only because the family lacks the ability to have open lines of communications, so we don’t deal with wild crap when it happens.

Ironically I am the one who will be the first under the target for having wild ideas, a salty mouth, with legit communication deficit and makes someone like me the easy target for everything, and yet while those individuals would point the finger of accountability to me first… you expect it to be a two way street?